The 'Smart'phone Saga: A Distracted Journey of Spells and Signals

Night swept out from the mountains, the sun setting across the field of battle and red blood. Corpses lay scattered like autumn leaves, and in piles as if a strong wind swept them into piles. Jasson held his phone with blistered hands and satisfyingly sore shoulders, a long battle turning into longer remembrance.

“Stand a little straighter,” Jasson called, “Chest out. You’re a proud victor! You won third place in the competition! Champion!”

Jasson took a few photos then nodded and Harriett stopped posing and scampered off her mountain of corpses.

“Perfect,” Jasson said, “All we need is a peach and I’ll be able to Skydrop it for you. Want to see?”

“Yeah!” Harriett said, looking over Jasson’s shoulder, “Awesome! My first battle! With the party, of course. Commemorated in near-perfect art!”

“Near perfect?” Jasson said, “This is as accurate as a mirror.”

“I’m more beautiful than that of course,” Harriett said, “And it doesn’t pick up on my trembling power. Now, let me take yours.”

Jasson re-explained how the camera worked, then climbed on top of his own tiny pile of corpses. He took the spear from the top and posed, prompting Harriett to take a picture. Then another, followed by a funny pic, then-

“All right, good enough,” Harriett said, handing Jasson his phone as he balanced on top of his pile of rabbit foes, “I’m heading down to Petra. It’s getting dark.”

Jasson nodded, squinting at the sun half hidden by a mountain peak. He waved goodbye to Harriett and looked at a few photos before climbing down from his mound of victory.

The sun set.

“One more selfie,” Jasson said, holding his spear with a kissy face. The camera had trouble focusing with the new light but-

W-WHAM!

Something hit Jasson’s side, throwing him from the pile and sending him sprawling down the hill. It hit with two quick taps along his entire body, the first nearly lifting him followed by a second that did. Jasson gasped, looking around wildly as he wrestled his breath back into his chest. What was that?!

Jasson struggled to his feet, completely unarmed, and saw a shadow disappearing into the distant woods.

“What the hell was that?” Jasson said, then looked around, “It took my kills! The jerk!”

Still, Jasson couldn’t muster annoyance for a creature that hit his entire body at once and was taller than the trees(Disbelieving terror was quick to muster and even had its uniform on). He hastily found his phone then grabbed the spear from where it fallen and made his way over to the other side of the hill.

I gotta tell everyone. Jasson thought. And get checked out. Maybe I hurt something.

When Jasson met up with Petra on the other side of the hill he found that Lord Ippoph’s representative had just left. Petra turned to Jasson with a broad grin on her face, hefting a football-sized sack with two hands.

“Good news!” Petra said, “We got paid for today’s work. Another hundred gold for the manor. Today wasn’t absolutely useless.”

“You’re…in a good mood?” Jasson said.

“Well, yeah.” Petra said, “We got money. You know, the thing that makes our dreams come true. Come on, let’s grab something on the way back.”

“But…” Jasson gaped, “We got paid a hundred gold the other day…”

Petra rolled her eyes and said “It was the last hours of a forty-eight-hour day. I wasn’t going to be giddy if it was ten thousand gold that day. Besides, that was the bare minimum that we needed to get through the month. It was already spent by our future selves before we could get it.”

“And now?” Jasson said.

“And now it’s a bonus.” Petra smiled, “And about ten gold of it is yours. Speaking of you, what’s up? You look pale.”

“I-uh,” Jasson said, “saw something.”

Petra stopped smiling and said “What?”

I can’t ruin her mood. Jasson thought. This…I need to see more of this side of her. Was her attitude really only because we were out of money? But…

“It’s nothing,” Jasson rolled his shoulder, “I saw some wolves in the woods. I think they’re interested in all the rabbits.”

Petra smiled again and said “Oh, that’s okay then. This town still has walls, doesn’t it? We’re good to relax tonight.”

“Yup,” Clara jumped into their conversation, “Come on, let’s go! The night is young and so are we!”

“Yeah,” Jasson said, “Let’s get inside the walls. Quickly.”

“Why?” Petra said, “Are you afraid of wolves? After all that?”

“No,” Jasson said, then sighed, “Probably. But it’s just late, and I want to unwind.”

And I’m pretty sure whatever that was could just step over the wall. Jasson thought.

****

The town of Smill, nestled in a valley on the eastern side of the A`hk`aka Mountains, began to glow. The raid lights, which had illuminated the sky so harshly the night before, turned soft and beckoned on every street corner in relaxed vigilance. Yet the nightlife was rather dull, with only two bars crowding into the evening raucous and little else to do.

Still, Jasson and the rest made the most of the evening and had a nice meal at the only restaurant still open at this hour. Jasson had a hard time eating with the growing blisters, and his shoulders were stiffening up from swinging a spear for what felt like hours. But laughter and good company, Petra included, made for good distractions as the evening grew long.

The whole time Jasson kept stealing glances at Petra, wonder and disbelief skipping in harmony with his heart as he watched her. Happiness was quite becoming on Petra, and Jasson spent more time beside Petra that evening than total since knowing her. She smiled at the server's jokes, laughed when Clara recalled a funny story, and played along with Harriett’s quirks. The evening passed in easy conversation, with Clara frequently sidling up to Jasson’s other side and Harriett occasionally standing on Jasson’s head. Jasson made sure to grab a group selfie.

Before he knew it, Petra was leading them all into their room at Lord Ippoph’s manor and the fun was over. Petra’s smile went back into hibernation and she knelt on the floor as the rest found seats around the room.

“All right, here’s the thing.” Petra said to an overfull party gathered in her room, “I need to get this out before going to bed. Everyone, be quiet. Clara?”

“On it,” Clara said, then reached into her Locker, pulled out a knapsack, and dumped a giant mound of sand on the ground. Jasson coughed from the dust and winced to see the sand in Lord Ippoph’s fine rug. Jasson’s mom would have killed him if he did that.

Petra knelt by the sand with an Earth crystal and focused, followed by a faint humming. As Jasson watched, the sand started to shake and slide together, forming walls as they melded into a yellowed stone. Eventually, a pattern took shape and became a…something.

“What is it?” Jasson said.

“Hush,” Clara said, “She’s not done yet.”

“You hush,” Harriett said, “You’re making more noise.”

Clara shushed quietly, effectively ending the hushing debate. A minute or so later Petra placed the earth crystal she was holding into the structure, then stretched and stood up, groaning.

“Thanks for keeping the jabbering to a minimum,” Petra said, “I was planning to keep this from you two, but I figured Jasson already knew so what the heck. This is a three-dimensional map of approximately five hundred feet from the bottom of that cave today.”

“Oh, cool!” Jasson said, “So we’re going to look in the general area and see if we can find a way down?”

“Nope,” Petra said, “we’re-”

Knock-knock-knock

In a flash, Clara had stored the map away and Petra dusted off her knees saying “This is why I hate being in someone else’s rooms. Can’t set any traps. WHO IS IT?”

“Chip T. Ippoph,” The voice said, “Do you mind if I have a word with you in private?”

“Sure,” Petra said, “but this better be good.”

Harriett beat Clara to the door and welcomed Chip in. Lord Ippoph’s son was dressed ‘practically’ and held himself with a calm assurance and just a hint of glitter in his eye. He met their eyes one by one before settling on Petra.

“How shall we refer to you, Master Ippoph?” Petra said.

“Chip will do,” Chip said, “But formally I am ‘Master T. Ippoph’ if you wish to use that.”

“Well then, Master T. Ippoph,” Petra said, “To what do we owe the honor?”

“I’m merely coming to express thanks for handling the threat today.” Chip said, “and would like to make an offer.”

An offer? Jasson thought. For what?

“Do go on,” Petra said.

“It has become apparent to me that simple Wyvern Extermination is…beneath a party such as yours.” Chip said, “Given time and civilian casualties, it would be beyond simple for you to deal with any threat. And so you became a mystery for me this evening.”

“I’m afraid that we are simple adventurers,” Petra said, “And not a mystery worthy of a lord’s son.”

Chip’s eyes glittered behind a diplomatic smile as he continued, “At first, I thought that the destruction you wrought that first night was made by a single-use item. Some rare relic of magic squandered on a mere wyvern swarm by earnest adventurers. But after today…well, I saw Mister Jasson’s identical yet smaller missiles of light today. I consider the way they ripped through the horde of monsters as the least of your demonstrations.”

“If you would be so kind, Master T. Ippoph,” Petra said, pleasantness hardening to steel, “Get to the point.”

“Of course,” Chip said, “I believe that you are here to look for rare crystals in these mountains and not actually end the Wyvern threat. Well, I say the threat passed on the first night. I’ve been…keeping count of the Wyverns and I estimate that you caught them in the height of feeding season at three hundred or so adults. If you were to leave now, I could safely say that the remaining adults would be unable to feed the vast majority and we would be back to normal numbers.”

“Again, Master T. Ippoph,” Petra said, “Get to the point.”

“I would like to pay you directly,” Chip said, “You’re never going to get the rest of your payout from my miser of a father. Of course, you were supposed to be here two weeks from now so there would be fewer to kill. Which is why this problem gets so out of hand! He never asks for adventurers until he sees how bad the problem is, and by the time they arrive, the youth have been fed and are hunting elsewhere on their own. Every year it’s-”

Petra cleared her throat.

“Sorry,” Chip composed himself, “As I was saying, I would like to pay you one hundred gold on top of your contracted headcount amounts if you clear the nest before the end of the week.”

“And if we don’t?” Petra said, “Do we not get our full pay?”

“Heavens no.” Chip said, “I’m not so position-obsessed as to forget that you could level this town on a whim. No, the one hundred gold is extra for doing the job quickly.”

“And why would you want us out of here?” Petra said, “Seems like we’re useful for more than Wyverns. If we want to stay longer, surely our presence is an assurance.”

“Two reasons,” Chip said, “One, my father is liable to do something stupid. Two, something stupid like connecting the dots if you know what I mean. I don’t want you two’s kind of trouble in this town.” Chip T. Ippoph looked Petra and Clara dead in the eyes. “We’d be praying for the Wyverns at that point.”

Petra sucked her teeth and grimaced, then said “All the way out here? How much.”

“Ten thousand,” Chip said, “Each. For your ‘safe return’.”

Petra snorted and said “All right, you’ve made your point. We’ll be out by this time next week unless something goes wrong.”

“Good,” Chip sagged, “And to help you along, I’ll give you a hint.”

“Oh?” Petra said, “And what would that be? A cryptic riddle?”

“Hardly,” Chip pulled a tube from his pocket, “it’s a map.”