The 'Smart'phone Saga: A Distracted Journey of Spells and Signals

Jasson was, by all reasonable definitions, not skilled with singing. It came to him in remixed memories from countless stitches and TikTiks. Jasson had the same familiarity with rhythm as an Olympic diver has with skydiving. Same jump, different landing. But some things have required singing since the olden days and beyond, calling to soul and mind with the rhythmic swing.

“I am a dwarf and I'm digging a hole,” Jasson’s voice echoed through the tunnel, “Diggy, diggy, hole. Diggy, diggy, hole!”

Pop!

About three cubed feet of stone in front of Jasson crumbled and then popped into a fist-sized cube, floating and gently spinning. Jasson grinned, kicking the cube towards Clara and pressing the pickaxe button on his phone. Jasson ‘sung’ and MADaptation made the familiar soft tapping noises until-

Pop!

“We really do need to get you singing lessons,” Clara said, “but if it helps you work then-”

“SHUT UUUP!!!” Petra’s shrill scream ripped down the tunnel from the cavern beyond. Tortured tears tearing through her voice and carrying to Jasson and Clara at the end of the tunnel.

“Don’t mind her,” Clara said, “Just keep going.”

“I mean-”

“Don’t worry about it,” Clara said, raising her voice for Petra to hear, “Petra’s unreasonable sometimes. You’re singing isn't that bad.”

“YES IT IS!” Petra shouted.

“I’m actually better at dancing,” Jasson said, “I-”

“Focus, please.” Clara said, “We have another hundred feet left to go until we reach the cavern.”

“So another thirty-three cubes,” Jasson said, focusing on the wall again, “I hope we get lucky. Let’s go!”

Jasson didn’t know what to expect when he had plugged an Earth Crystal into MADaptation. The light crystal had given Jasson everything from a laser pointer to a tactical nuke, so the earth crystal might do anything. But when the app opened one of the buttons leapt out to Jasson. It was in the familiar shape of a blocky, pixelated pickaxe.

The ability was something straight out of Minycraft, but like Minycraft it required Jasson to focus his on the same cube of stone for the duration. And, despite having a pickaxe in the logo, the speed was not that of even a wood pickaxe in Minycraft. It took around 8 seconds per block, and Jasson found that singing helped keep him focus. Thankfully, it only took 1-2 percent of his battery per block.

Pop!

“Thank you,” Clara scooped up the tiny block, “Let’s keep going.”

Jasson nodded and moved to the next cube in his path, “I am a dwarf and I’m digging a hole! Diggy, diggy, hole. Digging a hole!”

Pop!

“The sixtieth block,” Clara said, “Keep going! This is really awesome.”

“It makes me wish for a wood pickaxe,” Jasson grunted, moving to the next box. “At least I don’t have to jitterclick.”

Pop!

“Why?” Clara said, “And why a wood one? Pickaxing is less effective than what you’re doing. Even if I’m the one swinging!”

Pop!

Jasson grinned and said, “Any kind of pickaxe speeds up mining through stone in Minycraft. I’ll show you the app later. I don’t think a pickaxe could work in this case, unfortunately.”

Pop!

“It’s cool that these blocks are so little,” Clara said, picking up the sixty-third block, “I can carry hundreds of these, even without my Locker! So much easier for clearing rock.”

Pop!

“Yeah,” Jasson said, “Petra’s portion of this tunnel took way longer. What has it been, ten minutes?. It’s awesome to be better than-”

“Hey…Hey! What?!” Clara said, “I can’t pick this one up!”

Clara was trying to grab the small cube but her fingers just slipped off. Jasson frowned and squatted down.

“Really?” Jasson reached out, “I can pick it up just fine, see? Here.”

Jasson put the cube in Clara’s outstretched hand, but it fell to the ground. Straight through her hand.

“OH, that's disturbing!” Clara backed away, “What do you think happened?”

Jasson slapped his forehead, saying “I’m an idiot. You must only have one inventory slot, and you’ve picked up sixty-four Cobblestone. A full stack. Just take the others back to the entrance and dump them, you can’t carry anymore.”

“What? No!” Clara stood, “I’m nowhere near my limit! And it went through my hand!”

“It’s just how the game works,” Jasson said, “Don’t worry about it. I’m going to keep mining while you’re gone.”

Clara hesitated, then nodded and left. Jasson resumed singing, pulling a different song from his repertoire of masticated remixed songs, and continued digging.

“Diggy, diggy, hol-”

“NOO!” Petra shrieked, “It’s not worth it! Get out of the way Harriett! Move if you know what’s good for yo- of course you don’t. Clara! Let me at him Clara! I’ll finish the tunneling. I’ll work overtime on this! I promise-”

“Have you tried plugging your ears?” Clara said, “Maybe hum your own tune.”

“Yes!” Petra wailed, weak from suffering, “I even made an isolated sphere! It penetrates everything! It's a chorus from Hell! I’m beginning to feel it erode my soul!”

Jasson smiled mischievously and sang a bit louder. It really did help him focus.

****

The now familiar stretch of road disappeared into the carved chasm ahead. The party was spread out, Harriet and Clara skipping in the lead, Jasson the middle of the pack for once with a haggard Petra behind him. Jasson looked at the steep cliffs splitting the mountain in two and raised his eyebrows.

“I take it that a few earth mages carved this,” Jasson said, pointing to the pass through the mountain.

Petra sulked so Clara said “Yeah. It would have taken a few months to carve this much away. Probably some project from the past forty years.”

“It looks ancient though,” Jasson said, “The wind has carved it up and everything. Or is that normal for earth mages to put in on purpose?”

“The wind?” Clara said, “I didn’t know it was possible. Huh. How old do you think it is?”

Jasson waved his hand and said “I don’t know, and I don’t want to learn. It’s not like it has a Whykipedia article. I’m too tired after a long day of tunneling to nothing.”

“Nothing! It was so unfortunate!” Harriet said, “Hours of digging and torture for nothing more than an empty cavern. And we’ll have to suffer even more tomorrow!”

“There wasn’t much of a chance in the first place,” Petra growled, “And tomorrow, you and I are going to check out the Wyvern cave Chip told us about. Clara can keep digging with the idiot.”

“I’m not sure how far I can go at a time,” Jasson said, “I burned through most of my battery today, and that was the closest cavern. It took forever towards the end, with how I had to stop and charge every two blocks. I need to find Ellie pronto.”

“You do that,” Petra said.

Jasson kept drip-charging his phone and looked around as the conversation moved away from him. They were in the old gorge and he’d be able to make out the smooth divos the wind carved in the side of the cliff. Maybe he’d find an article about how much wind could carve over time and-

“Uh, guys.” Jasson said, pointing, “I’m not going crazy, right? Those weren’t there this morning, were they?”

The whole group turned to follow Jasson’s finger and landed on a series of marks on the cliffside. Long gouges in sets of four covered nearly the entire cliff face. They were claw marks. Not a simple few marks, spaced in ominous and distinct patches. These were covering nearly the entire cliff face, gouging into grey stone like it was clay.

“What could have made these?” Jasson said, agape.

They turned to Petra who shook her head and said, “Look, I’m not a monster specialist. We should hurry to town in case it’s around here. Jasson and I are in no shape to fight something like that.”

They turned to Harriet, who said “Beats me. Looks like a really hard fight though. Might get a good scar.”

“Those claw marks go above fifty feet!” Clara said, “I agree with Petra. We are not up to fighting something like that!”

“I hope it’s not attacking the city like yesterday,” Jasson said, “It would shred through the defenses.”

“You just had to say that!” Petra said, “You’ve jinxed us. It’s over! We’ll crest that same hill and find nothing but a smoking city. Idiot.”

Harriet said, “I’ll run ahead and check!”

“No,” Petra said, “We stick together.”

“Let’s walk quicker,” Clara said as they huddled together.

They crested the hill from the day before, nearly sprinting from the road to the view of the city. By this point yesterday they could hear the sound of battle, but now? Nothing. Jasson’s gut twisted and his hair started to stand. This couldn’t turn out well.

“Oh!” Harriet had gone ahead and fell to her knees, “Oh no!”

“What?!” Clara burst from the group and reached Harriett, sword in hand, “What happened- oh you!”

Clara slapped Harriett over the head as the rest of them crested the hill. Jasson’s heart pounded painfully as he beheld a scene of absolute peace. The animals were grazing, teams of workers cleaned up the rabbit corpses, and a distinct lack of chaos permeated the fields.

“Don’t do that!” Petra slapped Harriett over the head, “You about gave me a heart attack, you freak.”

“Sorry,” Harriett said, “I let my imagination go too wild.”

Jasson laughed, grinning widely as he said “I guess we’re off duty for the second shift today then. I’ll take it!”

“Go get your crystal charged by Ellie,” Petra said, “We don’t know when an attack could be coming.”

“Roger that,” Jasson skipped into the valley. His heart fluttered for a different reason. Ellie was quite beautiful, after all.