The City of Ionia

We hiked for thirty to forty minutes before reaching a lake. Ruby attempted to initiate small talk, but my vague, lousy answers made me seem uninterested. I mean, it’s not like I didn’t care, but I didn’t feel like speaking. That’s all.

The lake she brought me was pretty vast. No trees shadowed over, and the bright, blue sky reflected its beauty into the water. Lily pads and algae were clearly visible, and the vegetation for the local herbivores bloomed. The grass wasn’t spiky enough to itch my ankles, which was relieving, considering how their blades weren’t a pleasant feeling. It was also a reminder to get new pants and longer socks since these were too short. They were Harley’s, not mine. In truth, the peaceful aura the lake emitted soothed my mind. Had I known of this place, I would’ve come here three weeks ago.

Ruby plopped down like a lifeless blob, her hands acting as leaning pillars behind her body and her legs fully extended towards the blue lake. I somewhat did the same. I slowly brought myself into a crisscross position with my legs and stared at the birds gliding through the open sky.

That was another thing about this place. Trees weren’t in the way. It was like an open field with a random lake in the middle. Weird, but pretty cool.

Another weird thing that bugged me was Ruby’s inability to speak while sitting. I didn’t care. I simply found it weird that she invited me here without saying why or what.

That was until she opened her mouth.

“Jill.”

I kept my answer vague. “Ya.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Ya.”

There was a pause. I guess she had difficulties expressing her words, or maybe she didn’t know what to say at all. Either way, her momentarily silence ended when she finally picked up the words.

“Do you know…how Harley died?”

“No. All I know is that she’s no longer with me.”

“Oh, I see.” She laid her head low, staring at her body. “Can I ask you something else?”

“Is it related to Harley?”

She took a deep sigh. “No, but it’s about what you did in the cave.”

I didn’t remember much. I got to the cave and saw the scene. My blood emitted scorching flames hotter than any inferno. That’s when the parasite said something, though I do not remember what. From that point on till the moment I held Harley’s corpse in my arms, I do not remember what happened.

“What about it?” I asked.

“Well, it’s abnormal to slay an entire bandit group alone, let alone it being the strongest one.”

There was nothing for me to say. She definitely noticed my red eye, and it was only a matter of time before she brought it up.

She continued. “Though that was frightening, crouching in the corner and witnessing that horror. There was something else that caught my attention. I didn’t want to point it out, but I should fully understand the situation for the sake of my mind. While you were going berserk, your eyes were both red.”

I straightened my posture with wide eyes. I gently hovered my finger over my right eye. How did that one turn red? Wasn’t it always the left?

“Both of them…?” I mumbled under my breath.

How was that possible? All this time, it was only one eye. So why that time? What was different?

Was it because of Harley?

“Correct.” The parasite spoke. “After your encounter with Diego, when you discovered the truth about yourself, your negative emotions nearly broke the threshold. It was only a matter of time till the inevitable. The discovery of Harley’s death not only surpassed the threshold, it shattered it. That allowed me to take control of your body fully, hence why you don’t remember anything. When I take full control of you, both eyes become red, similar to Diego’s. But unlike him, you cannot control it. The parasite paused before speaking again. “Oh, and one other thing. Since you completely shattered the threshold, you have the ability to summon my full power at any given moment. Instead of fighting with half or even a quarter of my strength with one eye, You can simply give up control and allow me to fight. Doesn’t that sound pleasing, especially when it comes to the SCAR agent you desperately want to fight,”

“Shut up!”

I repeatedly punched myself in the side of my face. Ruby yelled, trying to tie me down. I kicked and screamed while trying to shove her off me. She pinned me onto my stomach with my arm locked within hers.

“Stop squirming!”

I didn’t listen and smashed my head against the ground.

***

Shallow, ankle-length water. Fog that devoured the ability to see distant land. Faint light glittered throughout the darkness. Numbness spread throughout my body like wildfire, leaving no feeling. A familiar sight I despised.

“Hello, Jill.” Same body. Same skin tone. Similar clothing. “You look empty.”

“What do you want?”

“Nothing in particular. A simple chat will suffice.”

I shook my head with furrowed brows. “I’m good.”

“Are you sure? Do you not want to discuss your future?”

Again, I shook my head. “What is there to discuss?”

It crept towards me with hands behind its back. Considering it’s supposed to be an image of me, I would never walk with my hands fiddling from behind.

“Did you forget about the future you wish to obtain?”

My shoulders sagged, devoid of confidence. I didn’t forget, but…

“I don’t know,” I said. “After what happened to Harley, I’ve just been out of it. I don’t want to do anything. Just—I don’t know.”

“You look defeated. Tired. Is that really what you want to be? Some lousy log that sulks when something tragic happens?”

Something tragic? I curled my fingers into a ball and squeezed with force.

“Am I supposed to brush it off like nothing happened? Is that what you want me to do?!”

I took a step closer and got all into the faceless parasite. One punch. Just one punch. The temptation was strong, but my self-control was stronger. I released the fist and tucked both hands behind my waist in case an impulse decision overruled my body, though that didn’t last long.

I grabbed onto its shoulders with my head down. Tiny droplets rippled onto the water. Strange, it wasn’t raining. Maybe they were something else.

After an empty scream, I poured everything out on the table.

“Am I paying for sins I do not remember?”

My face was sticky. Oh…those droplets were something else after all. They were produced by me.

The parasite gently covered my hands, which were still on its shoulder. “Sins have nothing to do with the present. The people we meet and the sacrifices we make all add up to the grand cause. It’ll all be worth it.”

Its hideous words made me crackle.

“We? Who's ‘we?’” My head jolted up. "I am the one who has to sacrifice! I am the one who’s affected! There’s no ‘we’ in this. You don’t even care what happens to anyone, not even me. You’re just using my body as a vessel and waiting for the perfect opportunity to take it!”

“Don’t worry. When I take control of your body, I’ll make sure you get to see Ionia. That is after we defeat the SCAR agent.”

I pushed the parasite away. After my punch connected with its featureless face, it stumbled and fell into the shallow water.

“How can I expect that…?” It rubbed around the area where an eye would be.

“I don’t need you—no—rather, I don’t want you. Die within my body, you piece of shit. I’ll swear on this day I will never use your power again. I’ll never communicate with you. I will have nothing to do with you. Rot within me till my body dies. I don’t care. Just know that it is my body, my life, and you have nothing to do with it!”

“You’re ridiculous. You cannot defeat that SCAR agent without my help. It’s borderline impossible.”

I stood over the parasite. It was a pathetic figure—I couldn’t believe it resembled me.

“Does it look like I care?”

“Appears not. So, what will you do? Are you going to sulk forever or chase after your dream?”

“I…”

I didn’t have a plan for accomplishing my dream. I needed to defeat the SCAR agent and get into the House with Answers. From there, I bet I could find a way into the city and then find a way to unite Ionians and outsiders.

This would not be easy, but I hoped it wouldn’t take too much out of me. With a scratch to the back of my neck, I couldn’t think of how I would approach this dilemma.

Should I just go face it? Should I consult with Ruby?

“I’m…I’m not sure.”

“Hmph, I assumed so. Well, can I propose a solution?”

I didn’t want to listen to a parasite, but my ideas led me to dead ends. I nodded, signaling my honest attention.

“First, you should realize you cannot defeat the SCAR agent without my aid. Do you still wish to proceed?”

I nodded silently.

“Very well. I promise not to interfere in any way. That means I will not communicate during your planned battle. You and your human abilities are on your own. You will see how helpless you are without me. Is that clear?”

I nodded again, this time agitated. “I don’t want your help. And get to the point.”

The parasite got up as though it were stalled in finding the correct words. It brushed off its clothing, which was weird since water couldn’t be brushed off.

“Leave the Bariac Cult. It is for your own good.”

“Is it for my own good or your own good?”

“Any triumph of yours is mine. Any victory of yours is mine. Anything you do that leads to a sense of accomplishment is mine. You may not understand, and that is ok. Just realize that our relationship is symbiotic. I need you as much as you need me. And for you to become the best of yourself, you must leave everything behind.”

How could I believe it? It lied to me, sucking away my life. There was no way I could take anything it said seriously.

“How can I trust your words?”

It snickered. “The reason why you delayed your departure was because of Harley. Admit it, if you will, but I already know the truth. You didn’t want to leave her, hence why you stayed. When she announced her desire to accompany you to Ionia, there was a sense of relief within your veins. Your feelings were obvious, which made it clearer why you didn’t leave prior.”

I…

I mean, I couldn’t deny if he was right or not. Truth was, I didn’t know why I didn’t leave the cult sooner. Maybe it was right. Deep down, somewhere in the depths of my heart, I didn’t want to leave her.

And now that she’s gone.

What do I have to lose here?

Ruby, Jeremy, Quinn? Don’t get me wrong, they rest in a specific place within.

But they weren’t Harley. She was special. I couldn’t put my finger on why. Something about her put me at ease. Her aura put me by the calmest waterfall in the misty forest. A sense of relief tingled my fingertips. A feeling that only she and Raphtalia emitted.

“I…”

Harley may be a reason why I didn’t leave, but she isn’t the only reason why.

“I know what I want to do.”

“And what is that?” It asked.

There’s no other choice. To get what I want, I must leave.

“I will go to the House with Answers and defeat the SCAR agent. If I succeed, I’ll leave the Bariac Cult. If I don’t, I’ll come back. But I’m not going to bank on coming back. I don’t want to leave this place, but I also don’t want my dream to trail behind.”

Sacrifices must be made. My dream rested enough. Now, I must roll the plan into action.

“Is that so?” It said, “Don’t request my aid. As I said before, I won’t give it.”

“I don’t want it. This is going to be the last time we communicate. After this, I will ignore you. I won’t ask for your aid, and besides the SCAR agent, I won’t contribute to malice and feed your energy. We are done.”

“You say that but don’t mean it.”

“Meaning?”

The parasite went on. “You will see when you awake. Guilt and despair will suffocate your mind. You may not remember too much of this conversation, but when you do, everything will mold together.”