The Broken Prince's Love

Cedar was pretty sure that true happiness couldn't feel much different. He was filled with bliss even when nothing special had happened. But it seemed like hearing Lucille say that she loved him and holding onto her was enough to make him the happiest man on earth. He couldn't stop his heart from beating with vigor nor could he cover up all of his excitement. He might be able to control his expression without any issues, but he certainly couldn't keep himself from blushing. So, he hid his face when he could.

Surely, kissing Lucille with that much vigor hadn't been a good idea when he couldn't even compose himself after that anymore. It was just relieving that she had enjoyed it and hadn't pushed him back. That kiss, the hug, her kind words and her reactions to his words about his feelings made the day perfect.

Cedar had been in a good mood ever since then and couldn't stop beaming until the evening. He had been sure that no one would notice since he always smiled in general, but the royal couple commented on it multiple times. He accepted that without discussing with them. He held Aurora without complaining and even had admitted that it was cute how she giggled when her mother pretended to hide before revealing herself again.

That made him think about having his own children at one point, but he quickly dismissed that. He would need to get over his problems before raising a child. He certainly wouldn't risk letting any of Camille's methods of taking care of her son reach his child if he ever had one. So, he had to fully ban his mother from his mind before he could even dream of the future. And then, after that, he might ask himself whether having a family would be fine.

But Cedar would need to move slowly with that. After all, he had planned on offering Lucille the best he had to give, and naturally, the same would apply to any children they might have.

Cedar's thoughts were quickly brushed away when Blanche forced them to play a board game together. Of course, she had chosen something that required them to work together and thus avoided any rivalry between Theodore and his brother. In the end, that game was fun for the others, so they had played until the late evening.

When Cedar and Lucille bid the royal couple farewell, they immediately went back to her room and slipped into the bed to sleep. By now, they seemed to have gotten used to falling asleep in each other's arms, so no one even questioned it.

Cedar had to admit that he wasn't discontented with this development. Especially not since it granted him a reward every morning. When he opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was the gorgeous red of Lucille's hair.

The morning sun fell right into the window and made the scarlet of her hair glow in a way that was much too tempting.

Cedar had intended to hold back, but he once again gave in. He carefully picked up a strand of her hair that didn't touch her face and played with it for a moment. He only let go when he feared that he might accidentally wake her if he didn't stop now.

But Lucille was still sleeping without any signs of moving around. So, he risked a bit more this time. He leaned to her while pushing himself up on his hand. He scanned her expression and chuckled upon seeing her.

Lucille was cute when she was awake, and when she was asleep, she was just as sweet. Especially when she was lying in bed like this while quietly snoring and cuddling into the blanket. She had completely let down her guard as she was sleeping with a slightly opened mouth and a completely relaxed expression. Even now, her soft skin was so inviting that he would have liked to caress her cheek or kiss her sweet lips. But he didn't do that to avoid waking her.

Cedar moved as slowly as he could while picking up the few hair strands that were covering her face and putting them to the side. He scanned her expression for a bit longer before carefully lying down again. He didn't want to risk getting too close and scaring her when she woke up from her sleep. So, he stayed unmoving for a while and gave her a chance to wake up by herself before he had to step in.

Thankfully, it seemed like the morning sun was enough to do the job. Lucille began stirring after a short while. At first, she opened her eyes a bit, and it appeared to be time for her to wake up. But then, she just turned around and hid her face from the sun by moving closer to Cedar. He had been sure that she was conscious, but she continued to sleep in that position.

Cedar glanced at the clock. If they wanted to eat breakfast on time, he would need to wake her. But when she was so cute, he might as well give her five minutes more. So, he held back a bit and just rested his head on the pillow again.

A few minutes passed, and Lucille still didn't show signs of wanting to stand up soon. Cedar planned on waking her, but he ended up giving her just a bit more time twice. Then he finally spoke up. “Lucille?” It had just been a whisper, so it wasn't surprising that she hadn't heard it. He planted a kiss on her head and waited for a reaction then.

Lucille only moved her head a bit while leaning into the pillow. She didn't do more than that.

Cedar almost had to laugh. He kissed her again. This time, it earned him a small murmur that almost sounded indignant. So, he gave her another kiss. He played this game for a while until she slowly began to wake up.

Lucille opened her eyes only a dozen kisses later. She looked at him through her half-lidded eyes and whispered his name in a drowsy voice. “Cedar?” That was enough to make her even cuter than she had been before.

He couldn't hold back and kissed her cheek again. “Good morning. It is about time for breakfast, so I wanted to wake you slowly. I hope I didn't go too fast.”

Lucille lifted her head to glance at the clock. She saw that they were much too late, but she let her head fall onto the pillow again. She groaned quietly and then forced herself to open her eyes completely. She still looked like she was half asleep, but she slowly got a bit more energized as she showed her lover a little smile. “Good morning.” She opened her mouth, and a small yawn came out.

It could only be a wonderful day when it began like that. “Good morning again, Sleepyhead.” Cedar leaned forward to kiss Lucille's forehead.

Her reaction immediately made him feel even greater. She just smiled at him while still being a bit tired. “I love you.” There it was again. If she planned on saying this more often from now on, he might become addicted.

Even three little words were enough to make a wave of happiness crash over him. Cedar considered showering his lover with a hundred little kisses, but he stopped himself. He just settled for kissing her on her lips. Then he stroked over her hair while gently reminding her of the time. “I would favor staying like this too, but I fear that we have to stand up if we want to eat breakfast. Otherwise, we will have to skip it.”

Lucille yawned again, and that made the second option seem tempting. But she didn't keep sleeping and forced herself to sit up. “Alright.” She closed her eyes for a moment and almost looked like she nodded off again.

Cedar laughed at that, but at the same time, he was a bit worried. She was awfully tired. It wasn't a good idea to chase her out of bed when she was like this. He could simply help her a bit by granting her more time. “You know, maybe-” A knock cut him off. He immediately expected the worst.

If people knocked at this time, they either wanted to invite them to eat with the royal couple, or unpleasant news would follow. It was a bit too late for Blanche and Theodore to eat, so this was probably the latter.

Cedar slowly sat up and climbed off the bed. He waited for Lucille to cover herself with her blanket before he went to the door. Still, he made sure not to open the door too much and hid her behind it while he spoke to the servant in front of the room. “Good morning. Is there anything my brother requires my presence for?”

The elderly man nodded before bowing. “I sincerely apologize for disturbing you, Your Royal Highness. But His Majesty wished to see you under any circumstances. It seems to be an important matter.” Wonderful.

Cedar still wanted to cling to the hope of this being something nice, but he already knew that he was wrong. Theodore wouldn't call for him like this for nothing when they would see each other in a few hours anyway. “I understand. I will come to his office in a moment. Is that alright?”

The servant nodded again. “Yes. I will inform His Majesty of your response.” With that, he left immediately and rushed toward the emperor's office.

Cedar closed the door and hurried to return to the bed. Lucille already gave him a questioning gaze, which made him speak up. “Theodore asked for me. I assume it's urgent, so I will have to leave you alone for now. I will be back in just a few minutes. At least if I can run away. But this topic might be rather serious.” He leaned down to her to kiss her forehead again.

Lucille kept him from doing that by lifting her head and wrapping his arms around him to pull him down. She stole a kiss on the lips from him. She looked like she was very embarrassed because of that, but her concern right now was greater. “Be careful.”

Cedar felt the urge to give her an honest smile again, and he gave in. “Of course. I doubt that there will be immediate danger.” But Camille might have planned something that would cause a lot of trouble in the future. He wouldn't tell his lover that though. Not before he was sure.

The prince quickly gathered his clothes and got dressed in the bathroom before he said goodbye with a long hug. Then he left the room, his mood already being ruined. He truly couldn't even enjoy two relaxed days in succession. Cedar walked to the office and knocked, only to be let in immediately. He stepped into the office and closed the door behind him.

The scene inside only made him even more dejected.

Theodore and Leon were here, but that was normal. The fact that the royal doctor and another servant were present was less normal. That indicated that the issue was related to them or that they had bad news. Everyone looked much too grim for this to be about a pleasant topic. Damn it. Of course, every wonderful week had to be followed by something bad happening.

Cedar should get used to it. The gods had never liked him, and they seemed to enjoy proving this to him too. He knew well that only one person could upset the emperor so much despite not even being here. He waited for a moment to give his brother a chance to greet him. When nothing followed, he spoke up. “Good morning. I sincerely apologize for arriving this late. I hope that this didn't cause an issue. Did Mother do something?”

Theodore sat at his desk, with his chin resting on his hand. He tapped the fingers of the other hand on the table as if he wanted to distract himself from his anger. He showed conflicting emotions on his face, but in the end, he gave in. “The dowager empress thinks that blackmailing us is a good option now. She hasn't felt too well during the past few days, which might have been connected to the rather harsh truth we said to her face. Now she is wallowing in self-pity and refuses to leave her room. And it gets even more annoying.” He gestured to the servant to speak.

The man quickly bowed before he hurried to explain in a weak voice. “It seems that Her Majesty has decided to...protest. After she has been denied access to the royal palace and did not receive any response letters to the ones she had written you, she claims to be heartbroken.”

Cedar didn't care about that. He didn't even care about the fact that he hadn't gotten any of those letters Camille had supposedly sent him. He didn't need to confirm how often she had insulted him in those texts. “So, I assume that she is sick now?” That was what Camille always did when she was in dire need of attention. She acted like she was the most pitiful woman in this whole world.

The servant nodded and then continued his story. “She has stayed in bed for the past week and only left it when servants forced her. She cries almost all the time, and when she stops, she only grieves quietly. For the first few days, that was fine to some extent. But for the last two days, she has refused to eat. She drank a bit when she was forced, but she claimed that she wouldn't eat anything from now on unless Your Royal Highness agrees to meet her.”

Theodore massaged his temples at that. “As you can hear, she still throws her temper tantrums. She wants to blackmail you into visiting her now. Obviously, she is just putting on a show, but that is still problematic.” After all, he didn't want Camille to kill herself like this. Maybe because he feared the aristocrats' reaction, but that was unlikely. Maybe he was worried about the impact this would have on his brother's psyche.

Surely, Cedar would be relieved when Camille finally wasn't a threat anymore. But if she ended her own life because he didn't see her, he would unwillingly blame himself for all eternity.

That was ridiculous. Cedar should be able to coldly reject this without even thinking about the options. And a part of him wanted to do that. But the other half worried about what Camille could do if he kept on refusing. Something odd churned in his stomach, and he felt more and more unwell with each passing second. He couldn't help it, and that was truly idiotic.

The servant seemed a bit concerned because of the emperor's cool response and carefully spoke up again. “Please pardon me for interrupting, Your Majesty. I'm pretty sure that she is serious about this. She truly hasn't eaten during those two days. Today, countless people tried to coax her into consuming some of her favorite dishes, and she still refused. She said that she will not ever eat again unless her son visits her.”

Leonard crossed his arms in front of his chest while he narrowed his eyes. “And? Let her starve then. That's not our problem.” His voice was dripping with annoyance when he said that. To be honest, he was right. But he didn't have an emotional connection to Camille that had been built through two decades of manipulation and absolute dependency. He couldn't understand why Cedar was even thinking about this.

The servant appeared to be rather shocked upon hearing that. “Lord Astame. I fear that that would be...” He stammered around a bit before finally speaking. “She merely asked for His Royal Highness to see her once. She only wants a single meeting. Maybe it would be fine for him to just give in once. He is still her son and-”

Theodore's expression had gotten more icy with each word. Anyone who had looked at him would have stopped, but the servant didn't gaze at the emperor. So, Theodore cut him off after a few seconds. “Be silent.” He hadn't even said that with aggression in his voice but only coldness, and it still silenced the servant completely. He turned to the other man, and slowly, his rage came while he resumed. “Do you have any idea what that woman did to him in the past? How she tortured him while having people break his arm and sending people after him to kill him? She has no right to call herself his mother. If you don't know anything, don't say things like that carelessly. Cedar is under no obligation to do anything for her. He doesn't owe her a meeting. He doesn't owe her anything. He cut her out of his life because he doesn't want to meet her. Why would he have to let such a bad influence closer to him just because she can't deal with the consequences of her choices? It's his right to refrain from seeing that monster.”

The servant almost took a step back at that. He quickly bowed and replied in a shaky voice. “I sincerely apologize, Your Majesty. I did not think that far.” Apparently not. No sane person would take Camille's side in front of the emperor.

But that meant that Cedar wasn't sane either. He hated the fact that he even considered this. After all, he was happy avoiding Camille as much as his brother allowed him to do it. But he couldn't let his mother starve. He actually doubted that she would go that far, but after hearing about Althea marrying her husband, she might consider it. Still, he tried to come up with as many arguments not to visit her as possible. “So, I should come if she purposefully hurts herself? I'm pretty sure that I shouldn't reward her childish tantrums like this. I have no desire to see her. And this will only make it more likely for her to hurt herself just to make me visit, right? Isn't it a stupid idea?”

The servant fiddled with his hands. He probably knew that the prince was right, but he had also seen Camille's state of mind and might take her seriously. He carefully opened his mouth to refute that.

But Cedar interrupted him and spoke first. “Don't misunderstand. I don't want her to starve herself either. But if I give in now, she will demand more and more. Then she will just refrain from eating and can demand anything of me. That would be a problem for both her health and the servants by her side. She isn't pleasant when she is sick, is she? Remembering how she has been in the past only makes me think that it will be extremely annoying if I end up going there. She will use the whole time to either insult me and remind me of how horrible I am for leaving her, or she will try to hug me and lure me in with fake promises. I am rather reluctant.”

Theodore immediately spoke up. “That's fine. You don't have to see her. She isn't your responsibility, so you don't need to deal with her problems.”

Cedar let out a low huff and grinned at his brother. “It's odd for you to say that. You always wanted me to face her so that I would confront my fears or something like that. Isn't that right? And now you suddenly want me to avoid her?”

The emperor pressed his lips into a line. For a moment, he was quiet until he responded. “I want you to do what you believe to be best for you. I've seen that you are finally getting away a few times now. I don't need you to prove anything. Nor do I need you to go talk to her just because she feels unhappy with her life. She is only in this position because she pushed everyone away in her quest to harm innocent people. You know that best. You don't have to get involved with that no matter what she asks for.”

Cedar knew that. Theoretically, he should just say no. He should turn away and insist on being unaffected when it came to his mother. But both he and his brother knew that it wasn't that easy.

Cedar was well aware that Camille's final days would approach soon. Most likely, she wouldn't survive to see the end of this year. He didn't need to fight for her. Even if she did harm herself with this for real, it wasn't his fault, and it would only spare her a lot of pain, which might follow if Theodore pulled through with his long-term plan.

But Cedar couldn't just decline. If he did that, he would probably feel guilty for the rest of his life. He couldn't risk something happening. He would have liked to ball his fists, but he refused to show even that much weakness. So, he forced himself to stay completely still while he thought about this.

He wasn't so weak that he would fall into Camille's traps, even if she did her best. At least he told himself that. He cared too much for Lucille to forgive the one who had hurt her. If he needed to forsake one to protect the other, his choice was obvious. He would do everything he could to protect Lucille from all harm.

Cedar knew that he might feel horrible and that he would want to lock himself away after a conversation. But he wouldn't change sides ever again. He had made his choice without wanting to the night he had killed Camille's assassins to protect Lucille, and he had never regretted that.

He would stick to this.

Cedar showed his brother the faintest smile he could muster while being upset and feeling the urge to grin. “I know that I'm not responsible for her. But I will go see her. She won't have long left anymore either way, right? So, I can just see this as one of the last few meetings I will ever have with her. Would you agree to me inviting her to the royal palace? I will take a walk around the garden with her. You can give us a few guards, and that should be fine, right?” Then his brother could keep his eyes on him and didn't need to distrust him just because of this.

Theodore was silent for a moment. He glanced at the servant again. “You said that she is serious about this? If it's just another one of her temper tantrums, there is no way that we will get involved. But if she actually refuses to eat tomorrow too, she has permission to come here exactly one time with a predetermined date for half an hour at most. And the only reason this is happening is that she should enjoy the last few months of her life.” He said that with so much resentment in his voice that it didn't sound like he wanted Camille to have fun in any way.

Even the servant was intimidated despite not being the one Theodore was angry with. Since he was shaking a little, one could have pitied him a little.

Cedar was already busy being annoyed with himself though. He couldn't believe that he had seriously agreed to this. The only reason Theodore allowed this was because he probably hoped that Camille would antagonize her son more each time they met. This was supposed to ensure that Cedar wouldn't consider helping her again.

Granted, that strategy had been rather successful until now. Whenever Cedar had seen his mother, she had threatened him or Lucille, which only caused him to dislike her more. Each insult and dismissive comment had made the small bit of hatred that he had felt for his mother grow a little bit. Over the years, this had always happened whenever Camille had hurt him, but now it was much worse. Each time she opened her mouth and told Cedar that she owned him, that no one loved him or that she would hurt Lucille, he hated her more.

That was great since it made it easier to turn away for good. But it also made him feel more and more conflicted to the point at which he wondered whether he had ever shown his mother true affection.

But Cedar wouldn't have time to wonder when he saw Camille. As soon as she was here, he would have to deal with whatever she would throw at him. He could deal with insults if they were aimed at him, but he refused to listen to her slandering Lucille. If he had to hear that, he might be a bit harsher than he would usually be. It would be good if they could avoid escalation by keeping Lucille out of the conversation completely. But it was questionable whether Camille would allow that.