The Broken Prince's Love

By the time Lucille and Leonard arrived at the office, she was still lost in thoughts. There was so much she would like to do for Cedar and even more she wanted to help him with. She wasn't sure whether it was possible, but she would like to become a safe haven for him. She wanted him to be vulnerable around her and to open up to her completely. That might still take a few years, but she would be happy to stand by his side until Cedar finally felt fully safe with her.

Leon had been rather serious for the rest of their walk until they stopped. Then he scanned Lucille's expression and almost acted like he knew what she had told herself in her mind. He grinned at her before he took it upon himself to knock.

The emperor's voice sounded a moment later. “Come in, Leon.”

Leonard did as he was told and held open the door for Lucille.

She slipped inside hesitantly and stopped to look around. The emperor's office was truly a sight to behold. Lucille had been here a long time ago, but she still remembered how impressive it had been, and now it seemed to be even grander than before. She barely dared to step forward, but then her eyes fell onto a familiar shade of light blue.

Cedar lifted his head and pushed aside the paper he had written on a moment ago to show her a blinding smile. “Thank the gods. You are finally here. That means that I can retreat.”

Lucille opened her mouth to reply, but she was too slow.

Leonard just chimed in without caring for the fact that the emperor and the empress hadn't spoken yet. “It's not surprising that you feel that way. Did the insufferable couple coat the room in sugary words again?” He walked over to the cabinet and pulled out a folder, from which he took some documents before hiding the letters somewhere in there, probably to get rid of them later without Cedar knowing it.

Cedar glanced at Lucille to show that he actually had been referring to her but replied to Leon nonetheless. “Indeed. As far as I heard, Blanche only wanted to visit Theodore for five minutes. This was the result. He hasn't worked for the past ten minutes, and I can listen to them swearing their eternal love for each other every two seconds. One almost can't believe that they are able to spend a second apart from one another.”

Now a complaint from the desk followed. Blanche was sitting on her husband's lap and showed the group a bright smile while cuddling against Theodore, who looked rather content as well. “We apologize, but we aren't really sorry. After all, this is Theo's office. It's fine for us to be here like this. We already held back for you, believe me. And I really did want to leave after five minutes, but it's too comfortable here.” She turned her head to press a kiss onto her husband's cheek.

Theodore hummed in satisfaction at that and added a comment as well. “You will have to do with my angel and me being like this. Nothing will ever stop us from proclaiming our love for each other. But it's funny for you to complain now.” He lifted his head after whispering something to his wife and then made eye contact with Leon. “You know. Cedar is much better at being quiet instead of disturbing the couples around him. He just ignores it and continues his work. Maybe you should use him as some sort of role model.”

Lucille followed his gaze to make eye contact with her amused lover for a moment before she looked at the secretary as well.

Leonard crossed his arms and let out a huff that was probably supposed to sound offended. “That's ridiculous. I've been here for almost eight years, and your brother has been on your side for less than a year. How come I'm supposed to be like him now?”

Cedar chimed in at that point. “You are absolutely right. Being like me is a horrible idea. My brother doesn't need another person to cause trouble here. And to be honest, Theodore, I'm only working so quickly because I can leave earlier when I finish all this. I'm done with the stack you gave me, so it should be fine now.” He picked up the papers and carefully sorted them before putting them back into a folder. Then he stood up and handed it over to Leon without caring for the other man's fake indignation.

Theodore glanced at the table his brother had worked on and sighed while resting his chin on his wife's shoulder. “You certainly are quick. I thought I was special for moving so fast, but well. It's good that you can use that for Artias now. You are free to leave if you can't endure seeing Blanche and me cuddle here.”

Blanche spoke up before Cedar could reply. “That would be better. Leon will lose his mind if two couples sit here together.” She grinned at the secretary before turning her eyes to Lucille. “So, it seems like you will have to drag your lover away to save us from some discussions.”

Lucille quickly nodded, trying not to show how much she wanted to hug and kiss Cedar already. “I... We will leave soon.” That earned her a few grins, and she had no idea how to deal with that.

Thankfully, Cedar moved before she had to. He took her hand in his. “It's nice to see you. I've already missed you in the one and a half hours that we didn't meet. It truly was unbearable.” He showed her one of those breathtaking smiles and then lifted her hand to his face and gently placed a kiss on the backside of her hand.

Lucille had already lost the game here. She knew that she would blush in just a short while and could only stare at her lover. Cedar was so gorgeous that it was unfair, and when he looked at her like that, it only got worse. She opened her mouth to respond, but she didn't get far.

A second later, Theodore let out a small laugh. “Look. I won our bet. They held hands first.”

Blanche puffed out her cheeks while her leaning head back and resting it on her husband's shoulder. “I should have known that you would win. I was sure that they would hug. Well. It's cute either way, but I presume that I will have to pay the consequence for being wrong now.”

Theodore ran his fingers through his hair before adding another bit. “You should have guessed it, my angel. You know how Cedar is. He will take a while before he admits to having the desire to show everyone how much he cares about his lover. For now, he will take it slow, but he will probably end up teasing her more than anyone else.”

Cedar scanned the couple for a moment before he turned his attention to his lover again. He beamed at Lucille before whispering to her. “Ignore them. They have nothing else to talk about. This is the first time you entered this office in a while, right? I think you didn't have a chance to look around at all the last time we came here. Especially the book collection is great, right?” He just said that because he knew that his lover adored reading.

Lucille looked around again and quickly agreed. Every wall in the room was covered with bookshelves, and all of them were full. The one spot that wasn't covered with books was rather easy to find. Lucille's eyes were automatically drawn to the painting that hung above one of the smaller dressers.

It was a stunning portrait of the royal couple. Blanche was sitting on a chair with Theodore standing behind her, and the both of them looked so content that it seemed to make the whole painting glow.

Lucille couldn't help but stare at it in awe. The words left her mouth without her wanting to say it. “The picture is beautiful.”

Cedar chuckled before standing next to her to gaze at the painting too. “It is. The man who created this is famous all across the continent for his beautiful portraits, but this is without a doubt his most stunning work. I believe that the painting of the royal couple for the ancestral gallery to extremely pleasing to look at too though. That means that he hasn't just created one masterpiece but simply is an amazing artist.”

Theodore chimed in here. “His name is Erneis, and he truly is a genius. We could invite him if you want to meet him in person.”

Blanche seemed to be excited about that idea. “That would be wonderful. We would like to ask for a painting of Aurora, so he will have to visit anyway. He might as well paint one for you too. Erneis said that he loves painting couples. He says that it could bring them luck. We hope that you don't need to rely on luck alone, but it would be nice to have as much as we can get.”

Lucille wasn't sure what the traditions in the royal family said, but normally, painting someone at the side of a member of the Estien family hinted that they would become part of that household soon. If one puts in the time and effort to order a picture of specific people, it indicated that they would stay with them for many years to come after all. That equated to an unofficial statement that Lucille would marry Cedar.

Cedar easily seemed to notice what she had realized. He showed her a playful grin before he was kind enough to change the topic for her. “The painting is great. But I found something more interesting. Father's sword is back in its original place. I'm surprised you kept it.”

Lucille quickly turned her head. Her eyes fell onto the sword that was now hanging in a small glass display to the left of the emperor's desk. She couldn't see any details from here, but she could make out that the blade was basically glowing in the light and the handle was golden with some implemented gems. It didn't look practical and more like expensive decoration. Apparently, it was a family heirloom too.

Theodore turned his head to gaze at the sword. “Well, it looks good here. I actually thought about having someone sharpen it too. No one would expect us to use a decorative sword to defend ourselves. I know it used to be sharp on one side, but by now, both have gotten extremely dull. It will take a skilled smith to take care of it.”

Cedar was silent for a moment before he replied while still grinning at his brother. “I'm not even going to say that you are extremely trusting. You are lucky that I don't intend on starting another revolt with that thing any time soon. But be careful that no one that you trust suddenly grabs that thing and uses it against you. I doubt that your docile ministers would, but you never know.”

Lucille blinked. Hadn't her lover just indirectly admitted that he had used that sword during the revolt? At least she would interpret that as the underlying meaning, but she didn't dare ask.

Theodore laughed at his brother's words. “None of the ministers can even fight. And if they could, I would still win against them. I can assure you that only three people in this nation that can rival me in terms of fighting. Those are Owen and Noah, our personal guards, and you. Since all of those people are on my side, I am quite confident that it will work out.” He grinned at his brother with so much confidence that no one would doubt his words.

Cedar didn't seem impressed though. “Don't let down your guard because of that. But I can't really tell you what to do. Lucille...” He gazed at his lover with a smile that made her heart feel oddly warm before continuing. “And I will take our leave now if you grant us permission. We do not need to watch the royal couple cuddling when Leon is already here to suffer for us.”

Lucille immediately nodded to agree with that. She would be happy about leaving too, just so that she could hold Cedar's hand without being so embarrassed.

Blanche had a content smile on her face while she replied. “Of course, you can leave. Please do enjoy your time together. We will see each other after lunch, right? Or wait. Come eat with us for lunch. Then you can see Aurora again too.” It truly seemed like Cedar and Lucille would act as uncle and aunt from now on.

It was obvious that the prince would make some snarky comment about that again, so Lucille responded first. “That would be nice. We will visit you at the usual time then.”

Blanche happily nodded at that while still being busy hugging her lover, who waved to the others.

Cedar took that as his cue to pull Lucille away. “It seems like the decision was made then. We will come for a family lunch in a while. Enjoy your time until then. Don't complain too much, Leon. Your frown might ingrain itself into your forehead otherwise.” He didn't listen to the response but left the room and closed the door behind them. Then he focused his attention on Lucille and beamed at her.

Lucille still felt like her heart acted out of turn whenever he did something like that. She should have gotten used to seeing the constantly smiling prince grinning at her, but her loving heart didn't care. The fact that they were holding hands only made that worse. Lucille made the mistake of thinking back to the doctor's request, and immediately, her embarrassment came back. She averted her eyes and stuttered around a bit. “Where...should we go now?”

Cedar immediately noticed that she was thinking about something odd. At least his knowing smile made it seem like that. “I'm not sure. We have many options. I would suggest taking a walk, but I feel like doing that after lunch might be more pleasant. How about we sit in your room for a bit? I could use some relaxation after dealing with Theodore's contracts for a while.”

Lucille quickly nodded at that. She would almost claim that her lover's voice had hidden some sort of ulterior motive, but she wouldn't complain about that. So, she walked to her room while holding Cedar's hand. That still earned them a lot of stares, but by now, many people had gotten used to the couple being like that. Lucille didn't have to be as embarrassed as in the beginning, and yet, she was a bit bashful.

She was relieved when they reached her room and opened the door to step inside. She barely entered the room and heard how the door was closed behind her when she was already whirled around. The sudden motion made her yelp but of course, she had never been in any danger.

Cedar turned her around and pulled her into his arms before trapping her between the door and his body. Somehow, he had managed to do that in a sudden and yet gentle way so that only her shock made her freeze. He shamelessly used that to tease her again though. He leaned down to her to bring his face right in front of hers before whispering in a tone that made her knees get weak. “You avoided eye contact the whole time we talked with each other and were even quieter than usual. Say. Did something happen?” Indeed.

Lucille had unwillingly remembered the conversation about contraceptives. And that had led to her thinking too far into the future since she hoped to be by her lover's side forever, which had ended with her being a blushing mess. Even now, she couldn't look into Cedar's eyes without being embarrassed.

He didn't let her get away like this though. Cedar brought his hand to her chin and tilted her head so that she had to look at him. Then he moved his mouth directly next to her ear and whispered to her so that his warm breath brushed over her skin. “Will you tell me just like this, or do I have to convince you to tell me? I don't mind being a bit persuasive if it becomes necessary.”

Lucille tensed a little. There was no way that she could simply tell him that. If she was forced to tell him that she wondered about being with him in a bit more intimate sense, she would die of embarrassment. “That... I...” Her voice was way more high-pitched than before, and she could barely talk without stammering.

Cedar obviously noticed that. So, he did the one thing that made it even worse. He slowly lowered his head, and then his lips suddenly reached her neck.

Lucille let out a soft breath before she could even understand what was going on. Her lover pressed countless small kisses onto her skin, and slowly but surely, it felt like the world around her was spinning. She held onto him to keep herself upright despite her legs feeling like pudding. A strange tingling sensation formed in her stomach. Such a small gesture shouldn't make her feel like her brain had stopped working, but it did. She couldn't even say anything or do more but hold still while Cedar kissed her. Her head was so hot that she was probably glowing bright red by now, but that wasn't surprising with how much this affected her.

It wasn't clear how long Cedar had continued, but when he lifted his head, it felt like an eternity and only a few seconds had passed at the same time. If he was uncertain or embarrassed about this, he didn't show it. He just beamed at her. “I fully expected you to push me away when I tried that. But it seems like you don't dislike it. You are too adorable.”

Lucille opened her mouth to say something, but she didn't manage to press out even a single word. So, she just tripped over her own tongue and let out a small breath while trying to speak. How was she supposed to think clearly when her lover showed her such a beautiful expression after doing this?

Cedar's soft chuckle only made her even more enchanted. His eyes met hers, and they just stared at each other for a moment. Her lover was so perfect. It wasn't necessarily his appearance that made her feel like this, even if he was without a doubt the most handsome man in this world. It was rather what he meant to her. Just the fact that Cedar was here and looked at her was enough to fill her with bliss.

Lucille gazed at him, and with each second she maintained eye contact, she wanted to kiss him more. At first, she fought the urge, but then she remembered that she had no reason to hold back. Cedar had initiated a kiss a few times already, so it would be fine for her to do it too. As always, her embarrassment was the only hurdle here. So, she put her arms around him and carefully pulled him toward her.

Cedar went along with it and came so close that he was almost leaning against her. But he didn't quite understand what she wanted until she tangled her hands into his hair and guided him down. For a single second, a new emotion flickered in his gaze, and then he finally fulfilled her wish. He closed the distance between them, and their lips met.

Of course, Cedar still didn't hurt her, but he was much more passionate today. Lucille quickly noticed that she could live with that pretty well. Her breath was taken away, and by now, Cedar had wrapped his arms around her waist. She was very content with that. Even if she had to admit that this kind of kiss was new and even more overwhelming than she had expected it to be. Her whole body felt like she was on edge, and at the same time, she relished in every second of such contact.

It was almost disappointing when they stopped, but both needed to breathe.

Surprisingly, Cedar was out of breath as well. His hair was completely tangled thanks to her, and he looked at her with an emotion she liked a lot. She could have sworn that his face was a bit more red than it had been before, but she didn't get to see that for long. Cedar leaned forward and rested his forehead on her shoulder without letting go of her.

Maybe it was better like this. Lucille didn't want to know what she looked like at the moment. If the collected Cedar was this affected, she probably wouldn't manage to keep any dignity.

For a while, they just stood there, and Lucille used the silence to brush over her lover's head. She attempted to straighten his hair a bit again, but in the end, her real goal was patting him, so she continued even after his hair looked perfectly normal again.

At some point, Cedar almost gave her another heart attack. He lifted his head again and then bowed down so quickly that she couldn't even follow him with her eyes. The next second, Cedar had picked her up and carried her toward the bed.

Lucille could only hold onto him while trying to ignore how she could feel her heartbeat in her whole rib cage. She couldn't keep herself from thinking about strange things when her lover kissed her like that and then gently put her onto the bed. That thought increased her embarrassment even more, and she barely dared to lift her gaze.

But of course, Cedar didn't think what she had imagined. He just lowered her onto the mattress before sitting down next to her. He was silent for a moment before speaking. “I thought that it would be better for you to sit with your weak legs. Your stance was a bit too uncertain for my liking.” He was right about that. But he had certainly riled her up unnecessarily with something like this.

Lucille would have liked to hide her face, but it would feel odd to do that. She let herself fall backward so that she could lie on the bed.

Cedar grinned when he saw that. He quickly changed his position to sit next to her head. He reached for her and carefully pushed aside the loose strands of hair that had ended up on her face. That he allowed his fingertips to dance around her skin and made her whole head tingle with that probably hadn't been supposed to knock all air out of her lungs, but he was successful in doing so.

For a few minutes, they just stayed in that position and enjoyed each other's company. It almost seemed like they both needed to regain their composure after what had happened, but maybe Lucille just imagined Cedar being as uncertain as she was. But it was truly odd that he didn't say anything at the moment. He normally always had something to tell her.

It took a while until Lucille finally regained her ability to speak. She wanted to interrupt the silence, but she was unsure what would be fitting. Nonetheless, when she looked up at Cedar, who was still combing through her hair with gentle motions while watching her, she knew exactly what she wanted him to know. “I love you.”

For a single second, Cedar froze. That was enough to remind her that this sentence had never been too pleasant for him.

Lucille opened her mouth and hurried to reply, but the words were stuck in her throat. She didn't want to apologize for telling him that she loved him, but she didn't want to use these words if they hurt him either. “Are...you... I mean...” She stammered around a bit before she managed to say what she meant. “Are you fine with me saying it? Because you...don't like that sentence.”

Cedar moved before she even finished. He lay down next to her and brought his face directly in front of hers. He was smiling at her, but it wasn't as fake as it was most of the time. He used a gentle tone while correcting her. “I don't dislike that sentence. I dislike the meaning my mother connected with it. When you tell me, it's completely different. I like hearing you say that. Very much so.”

That was enough to make Lucille's heart skip a beat. It certainly seemed like she would have to tell him more often. “I see... That is good.” Because she liked saying that she loved him. And if she made him happy with that, it was only even more wonderful for the both of them.

Cedar watched her face, and it felt like he was able to read every single bit of emotion in her features. He hesitated for a little bit before he replied. “If you're a little patient, I will tell you those words too. I promise you that.”

Lucille was torn as her heart skipped a beat. On the one hand, she would adore hearing those special words from him. But she also remembered his expression when she had first told him that she loved him. She wouldn't force him to say things that reminded him of bad times. It was perfect as long as he liked her back and treated her well. She didn't need those words as proof. “You don't necessarily need to say that one sentence. I know that you care about me. You show me that you care often enough, so it's fine.”

Cedar moved his hand from her hair to her face and tapped on her nose while his smile became a bit wider. “But I want to say it. I wouldn't promise you this if I didn't plan on fulfilling that promise. Because you are the person I truly feel affection for. In a few weeks or months, I will have gathered the courage to close this chapter and tell you that sentence. We will see how stubborn I can be.”

Lucille felt a lump form in her throat at that. This was so important to Cedar that he would even go against his own unwillingness to remember anything that was connected to his mother. This was another proof that he truly cared. Lucille lifted her hand to stroke over the side of his face. She couldn't help but smile when he nuzzled into her touch. She would need to show him much more affection like this from now on. They both enjoyed it, and Cedar absolutely needed it. “You really don't have to. But if you want to say it, I will wait until the day that you are able to tell me without hurting yourself. I don't need you to do that though. I know how much you care.”

Cedar beamed at her while he slowly moved a bit closer to her. “That's good. It means that I didn't fail to show my emotions in this regard. But I want to make it even more clear. I can't say those words yet, but I will say something else. For now, I will settle for something that shows you that I haven't become your lover for nothing.” He carefully took both of her hands in his and stroked over her skin while meeting her gaze. His voice was soft when he whispered to her. “To me, you are the most wonderful person in this world. When I look at you, I immediately feel warm, and I want to smile for real when you make eye contact with me. When you smile at me, it's like a dark rain cloud is pushed aside to let the radiant sun shine upon me. When you hug me, my heart skips a beat, and I want to pull you into my arms to protect you from everything that could harm you. And...when I kiss you, it feels like I can't breathe, and my mind becomes blank. No matter where I am, I keep thinking about you. I want to stay by your side for as long as humanly possible and offer you my devotion. Is that fine for now?”

It was more than fine. Lucille felt tears pricking in her eyes. It seemed like she would need to do more than just tell Cedar that she loved him in the future. She lifted her arms to hug him despite her position making it hard to do that and leaned her head against him. She squeezed her lover tightly while trying to sort the feelings inside her mind.

There was so much joy and affection here. It was like a whirlwind of those feelings danced around in her head to form the most wonderful emotion of all.

Love.