I can't move on

"You mother fucker!" I said as I started to freak out.

Why did Ryder pass out?

What the fuck happened?

What is happening?

My breath started to pick up.

I was officially freaking out. 

Isabella, me, and Matteo all rushed over to him, trying to keep him up and stop him from falling into his vomit. 

I just needed to take deep breaths.

He had.

I gulped.

He had every right to be mad at me.

Every fucking right. 

But it freaking hurts.

Hurts like hell.

But he is right.

I deserve this.

I deserve every single thing. 

I just have to make sure he is safe.

I can't let what he said blind me from that.

His and my daughter's safety are my top priorities.

His mouth was open but he was completely passed out.

I started to check his pulse.

Checking everything.

His heart is still beating.

It feels like it shouldn't be this slow, but it is beating and that is all that matters.

That is all that fucking matters.

I look up at Matteo and push him off of Ryder.

"Stop acting like you fucking care. You obviously fucking drugged him when you kidnapped him!" I took a deep breath. "Matteo, you are such a fucking scumbag, you know that? He already fucking hates me and now you are going to drug him like it's nothing and he is going to blame me and hate me even more."

Matteo looked annoyed. "Bitch, why would I do that?"

What?

My face dropped.

"I am into a lot of kinky shit." He turned around and looked at Leo and then back at me. "But that's too far. I knocked him out, put him in the car, and gave him to my men."

"Bitch, just admit it; I already hate you; it will not make me hate you any less if you lie to me," I said.

Matteo looked flabbergastered, which is the best way I could explain it.

He looked at me like I was crazy.

Like I was the crazy one??

"You fucking bitch," I said, looking at Matteo.

Matteo turned around to Leo and held both of his hands. "Leo, tell him that wasn't me! Tell him, baby. When have I ever lied to you? Princess, tell him, I have never ever lied to you. I wouldn't drug him. That wasn't me," Matteo pleaded with Leo. 

Leo let out a sigh and rolled his eyes. 

What the fuck?

I still haven't grasped the fact that they were a thing at one point.

My brain can't process that. 

I am trama blocking that out of my brain

I looked at Ryder in my hands as Isabella made sure his head was up.

I wish we could be a thing.

But.

I'm sorry. 

I'm sorry for lying to you.

I am sorry for bringing you into this. 

I am sorry for everything. 

"Dominic," Leo pulled me out of my thoughts. "This does not in any way make me a traitor, but Matteo has never lied to me, Dom; maybe it wasn't him."

Traitor.

"Yeah, fucking right," I laughed. I let Ryder down slowly into Isabella's arms and stood up. 

I looked down at him and slowly stood up. 

That motherfucker.

It played in my head over and over again.

Who was he pointing at?

Or what the fuck was he pointing at?

Who is "that motherfucker?"

I turned to Matteo.

"Is there someone over there?" I asked him, looking over at that corner.

"You finally believe me?"

"I never said that; I asked you, Is there someone over there?" I couldn't see anyone. 

Matteo turned around.

"Dude, I am 3 years older than you; my vision is even worse than yours."

"Don't dude me, bitch. We are not friends just because you and Leo are a." I looked at both of them. "Sorry, were a thing at one point."

Leo rolled his eyes. "Can you let me go now? I won't run if that's what you are worried about."

I don't know why I forgot that Leo was still chained up.

"Promise?"

"I guess," he said and Matteo seemed okay with that answer and unchained him.

One by one, I watched as Leo stretched out his limbs.

"I don't know how I did that back in college."

"That's nasty," I said and Leo started to laugh as he walked over to me.

We shared a hug as I patted him on the back.

"I heard y'all in your office," he mumbled to me.

"Kinky bitch," he said with a smile.

I rolled my eyes. 

"What if I punch him in the face right now?" Leo mumbled and I started to laugh.

"Go for it; he would probably like it."

"I can hear you guys, I hope you know," Matteo said, getting closer to us.

Leo got off of me and gave him this look.

Yeah, what the hell?

"Wait." I turned back to Leo. "If he is 3 years older than me, then he is 41 years old and you are 36. That gross," I said, making a face, and Leo rolled his eyes. 

"And Ryder is 21 years old, so that makes you gross, actually," he said in a mocking tone of voice. 

I put my hands up.

"Snapping at me is crazy," I said.

"Yes, bitch." Leo looked over at the corner. 

"Matteo, is there anyone there?"

"I told all my men to disperse and keep an eye on Gianna, Zayne, and the kids, so there shouldn't be."

Leo starts to walk towards the corner.

"I see someone... hello?" dumb ass, do not blindly call out to dark areas in some sex dungeon.

"Leo, please come here and don't blindly walk towards suspicious dark corners," I said, trying to grab onto him.

He kept walking.

I looked at Matteo.

He looked lost in thought.

"I." Matteo cut himself off as he slowly walked toward Leo, who was walking way too fast in a corner that he couldn't see what was in.

"Princess, princess." Matteo's pace quickened, and I could tell he started to freak out. "Please come here."

"Princes, don't." I watched as Leo got absolutely bitch slapped.

Disoriented Leo stumbles back.

Holy fuck. 

He quickly got back up and walked back as someone emerged from the shadows.

Am I supposed to know who this is?

I mean, I kind of recognize him but then again, he looks like every other fucker out there.

He is a very average-looking white guy, I don't know.

"The fuck are you doing?" I heard Matteo's voice echo across the room.

Oh fuck.

He has a gun.

I patted myself.

Where is my gun?

What the hell?

Oh.

Oh.

Fuck, how am I?

I looked around.

Oh. 

My baby.

I looked down at my daughter as she fanned ryder.

I kneeled down.

"Daddy's sorry," I said, looking at her. 

She looked up at me and looked back down at Ryder.

I hadn't had the chance to talk to her about all of this. 

"I am glad it's him, Daddy; I really am." She looked back up at me. 

"I'm sorry," I said and she nodded.

"You are bad at hiding things, Dad, really bad at it," she said with a small smile.

I'm sorry, my girl.

"Don't cry, Dad; that's cringe. But I will not be continuing on this shit, I hope you know."

"I know baby cakes, I know," I said and I kissed her head. 

"Daddy will make sure you are safe. Just, please…please make sure Ryder is safe too," I said.

I felt like I was almost begging.

She nodded.

My brave girl.

My brave fucking girl.

I looked back up at the guy and stood up.

He had a gun

A fucking AK-47 to be exact.

He had a huge smile on his face and he looked crazier than Matteo.

Which is saying a lot, considering Matteo's…history. 

"You want Dom dead, don't you?" he asked, talking to Matteo.

Matteo walked closer to him.

"If I wanted him dead, I would have killed him already and I would have done it. Not you. You work for me," Matteo said, raising his voice as he got closer. 

"Come on, it is fucking perfect. This is what you always wanted, right? To kill this bitch," he said as he walked closer to me with his gun drawn. "Wasn't that your plan?"

He started talking to me. "You know mafia bosses don't have lovers. Your plan all along was to sell him to us, wasn't it?"

My face dropped. "Bitch, why the fuck would I do that? I hate you guys. We are fucking rivals."

He let out a tasteless laugh.

"Moretti, didn't I tell you to go to the other room? Victor, I fucking told you but you never listen," Matteo said and he sounded really irritated but approached with caution because of the AK-47 he had pointed at my ass.

Victor Morettii.

Bitch, who?

He rolled his eyes and flipped the gun toward Matteo. "Mafia bosses aren't capable of loving anyone but themselves. It makes you weak. You have heard that, haven't you?"

"Did you not hear my whole monologue earlier?" Matteo asked. "Or were you also not listening to that?"

Damn.

Matteo definitely has this guy on probation or something because I am feeling some tension in the air right now.

"Ryder is different. I am capable of loving him. I don't care how weak it makes me."

"All for a whore? That's fucking funny."

I felt my breathing pick up as I got closer to him. "Keep his name out of your fucking mouth!" I yelled.

He started laughing. 

He looked at me in my eyes. "You do know that he had sex with me?"

"Why the fuck were you having sex with him?" Matteo asked. "You said yourself that it didn't go beyond oral stuff with all of the customers."

Bitch what?

How do you not know what is happening in your own establishment?

And wait so he lied about all the sex work shit just to get at me?

He didn't even know what was actually happening.

That's fucking crazy.

"He wanted it," the guy stopped, looking back at me. "He wanted all of it. Those hundreds of old guys he serviced. He wanted it so much that he gave me half of his check just to have sex with him."

I blinked.

"You are acting like I give a fuck. Be for real. I am going to tell you what I told his fuckass. If you want to see him have sex with old men so much, I will show you," I said, flipping him off, and he got closer to me with the gun.

There was still a lot of room in between us but there wasn't enough where a bullet to the chest wouldn't hurt me.

That would actually kill me at this distance.

"Fucking pathetic. This whole love shit. You know, Matteo said the same."

"Don't compare me to him," I spat.

"He said the same thing about this fucking thing!" the guy screamed as he quickly walked to Leo.

Thomas, please.

Please hurry.

Tell back up to hurry.

Please, friend.

I am begging you.

I can't let them hurt any of them anymore.

"Get away from him," Matteo said.

Yeah, still, not used to them being a thing holy fuck that is so weird. 

"I. me? That. that fucking traitor." He turned to Matteo. "He fucking left you; Matteo left you without a second word and you can't seem to fucking remember that. Get THAT IN YOUR HEAD; he left you because he doesn't want you!" The guy screamed.

"Traitor?" Leo said and the guy turned his attention back to him. "I bitch, I never fucking..." I watched as the guy got his gun and smacked Leo in the face with it.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" He screamed.

I watched as Matteo quickly lunged at the guy and I quickly went over to him.

Matteo started to beat the fucking shit out of him.

Oh fuck.

I feel like I should film this.

"I asked you to do one fucking thing. ONE FUCKING THING!" Matteo screamed as he punched the guy.

"You can't even do that shit right. You FUCK UP!" Matteo yelled, taking the gun away from him, grabbing him by his collar, and smashing his head into the ground.

"I never asked you to drug him, Victor. I never asked you to do any of that shit. If he doesn't wake up, I will KILL YOU!"

"They are the enemy and you are taking THEIR SIDE? YOU ARE TAKING THEIR FUCKING SIDE?" the guy yelled back as Matteo continued to punch him.

I watched as Matteo's eyes blazed as he delivered another punch, this time in the gut. 

"I never fucking asked you to drug him, you idiot. I have repeated this so many times and you can't seem to get it. I said to kidnap them. SIMPLE AS THAT. But no, you had to go above and beyond with all of your psycho bullshit."

That's rich coming from him.

Victor coughed, sneering through his bloody face. "You are going fucking soft, Matteo! Is this about that thing? That little bitch means nothing."

He punched him in the jaw again.

For once, I agree with Matteo.

For once.

He seems like he can handle his own really well.

"That thing is MINE. You don't touch. You don't hurt him. YOU DON'T EVEN FUCKING LOOK AT HIM WITHOUT MY PERMISSION, DO YOU HEAR ME?!!" Matteo's breathing was ragged as he loomed over Victor.

"You know, that's kind of our thing, Victor. Me and Dom."

Matteo looked back at me and I gave him a weird look.

What was he on about?

"We are rivals. We have been since birth. He sends his men; I kill them. I send my men; he kills them. I go after his loved ones; he makes fun of me for being an orphan. I fuck his best friend. He beats my ass constantly. That's the fucking game. We are mafia bosses. You are just a henchman. You don't get to rewrite the rules just because you feel like it."

Why are we brushing over the "I fuck his best friend?" No, dude, you don't.

Victor smirked. "Rules? You are a pathetic excuse for a mafia boss you and that bitch."

"Keep my name out of your mouth as you are getting your ass kicked by someone I beat on the regular," I said, walking closer and going against any better judgment I have ever had, helping Matteo.

"Both of you. You are weak little sissies who fall for anyone who bats their fucking eyes at you." He turned to Matteo. "Are you sure Leo is not a whore too?"

That was it.

I wanted as Matteo swung right at his temple.

I wanted as his eyes rolled back and his head slumped over.

"You fucking bitch," he muttered, standing up and kicking Victor's body.

Matteo looked at me.

I looked back at him.

I felt myself flinching as the sound of crashing doors interrupted everything.

Thank the Lord.