I can't move on

I looked at Matteo as he looked at me.

I'm sorry.

I never knew you felt like that.

I watched as Dom came in; he looked so fucking irratated and he had a gun in his hand.

I looked behind him but there was no backup.

Please have a plan, old friend.

Please.

I am begging you to have a plan.

Matteo quickly drew his gun and pointed it at Dom.

Matteo turned to me. He looked sad. "Please baby."

"Don't," I said.

Please, Matteo, don't do this to me now.

I am sorry. 

"Please, princess, I know you miss, please," he begged, gun still pointed at Dom.

I am sorry, Matteo.

I am.

Don't hurt yourself anymore.

I am sorry.

"We can start over, please. I want a do over-."

"SHUT UP!" I heard Dom scream as he interrupted Matteo's pleas.

I looked over at him.

He looked dead fucking tired.

I felt awful. 

Matteo looked back at me.

"Please," he looked at me with those handsome eyes.

Those eyes that always looked at me.

Those eyes I could never get enough of.

I'm sorry.

"Matteo, please don't make this hard."

Matteo walked closer to Dom. "You are the only one who made this hard, Dominic. Every fucking time. It was all you."

My heart hurts and my breath feels cold.

It feels like acid when I breathe.

Dominic, you stupid fucking idiot.

Why didn't you bring backup?

Why?

Please tell me why. 

This is the one thing you can't do alone.

You don't know what Matteo is planning.

I don't know what he is planning.

"Give me them back and this doesn't have to be like this," Dominic said.

He was still in his pajamas, like I was, as well as Ryder.

I looked down at Ryder.

He was still in the same position and looked like he was spacing out.

Why?

Why matteo?

Why did you have to do that?

What did you give him?

Isabella started to cling to me.

The judgment was gone.

She was scared.

She was just a kid.

She was just a scared kid.

I rubbed her back.

"It does have to be like this. It does. When you were born, it had to be like this. Right now it has to be like this. Every hour of every day for the rest of our lives has to be like this. We are mafia bosses; we are destined to hate each other, nothing more and nothing less," Matteo said. 

"Matteo," I called his name and he turned back to me.

His eyes were filled with sadness and sorrow.

"Give them back." I felt my voice crack. "You said you would give them."

Oh god, I am getting emotional.

Knowing all of the things.

All of the feelings Matteo felt for me.

I don't know what is what anymore.

But I know that his love was real.

Like I had always hoped.

It was real.

I was happy.

It just couldn't be like this.

We could never be together.

I'm sorry, Matteo.

"Give them to him, Matteo, you promised. You promised me that you would give them to Dominic unharmed," I said. I was trying to make my voice stern but I was overwhelmed.

This whole thing was too much.

Every time I was around him, things went wrong.

Things always went wrong.

And it hurt.

It hurt more than words could even describe. 

I looked over at Dominic.

He looked so fucking confused.

"Matteo," Dominic said and I watched as he shot the wall next to me. "I am not in the mood for this."

He slowly blinked and I could hear him just angrily breathing.

He walked closer.

"Your hostage situation is fucking ignorant, please. Matteo, give them back to me," Dominic explained.

Matteo looked at me. "Do it; you promised me that you would."

I looked at him. "Don't break that promise. They don't deserve this. They are both young; don't do this to them; don't do this to me."

He looked at me in the eyes and sighed.

He pulled Isabella off of me and pushed her toward her father.

"Unharmed," I said, pulling at my chains.

Matteo grabbed Ryder up with one arm, his gun still drawn, and pointed at Dominic. 

He pushed him over and Dominic quickly scrambled to get the both of them.

I am praying you called back up my friends.

These are forces that we aren't ready to deal with on our own.

I looked over at Matteo.

Maybe in another life, my love.

Maybe just maybe.

I looked over at Dominic.

I am sorry, Dom.

I owe my life to you and I will do anything to keep you and all the people you care about safe.

Even if it means risking my own life and freedom.

I am truly fucking sorry.