Heart of Dorkness

Felix’s hearing is definitely better than my own. Like, way better. I didn’t hear the caravan until they were in sight.

Now that they are, though, it’s hard to miss the sound of wooden wheels crunching across the gravel road, and the clack-clack of hooves echoing across the open space between the road and the woods.

I squint ahead to make out the caravan better. There’re definitely at least four wagons... no, five; there’s a fifth a little to the rear of the others that’s smaller. They seem to be pulled along by donkeys, with the three at the lead being covered wagons meant to just carry stuff.

“Can you sense anything from here?” I ask Felix.

She shakes her head. “No, sorry. I’m too far away. All I can tell is that there’s noise coming from there.”

I guess that makes sense. There’s only so far a normal person can reach with their emotions before things fray and break apart.

I shake my head, cleaning away that kind of thought. It’s not time for speculations about magic. We need a plan before we can return to that kind of thing.

The caravan has guards. Some six or seven people walking alongside it with spears tucked against their shoulders and gleaming armour occasionally catching in the beams of sunlight breaking through the cloud cover.

Some of them look like they have crossbows slung over their shoulders. Or maybe they’re arbalests? It’s too far to tell.

I’m pretty sure fighting that many people isn’t a good idea. But then, I don’t think fighting is what we want to do anyway. “I guess we say hi,” I say.

Felix nods. “Yeah, they’re probably going to the capital, right?”

“They might be heading to Silegre or Toncia or Valiente,” I say. “But all three roads split off near the capital.”

“We could hide and then just walk,” Felix says.

“I guess,” I say. “But I’d rather ride, and if we ride on monster-back, we’ll catch up with this caravan anyway, so that’s not much better. I don’t know if it’s smart, but I’d like to try. That doesn’t mean we can’t be clever about it.”

“Clever?” Felix asks.

I nod. “Yeah. I’ll have my little friends look for some monster friends around here. They can follow after the caravan, and if I call out for help, they’ll rush in.”

That’s mostly in case the people in the caravan discover who and what I am, or if they decide to rob a pair of unarmed girls on the road.

I kinda doubt they’ll do that. Some of those guards are probably actual guards, and the caravan looks clean enough that I imagine it’s somewhat official, not a band of travelling bandits or whatever. That doesn’t mean they won’t try to take advantage of us, but I don’t think straight-up murder is something they’d try.

“So, the plan is... I guess we walk out and stand in their path until they catch up?”

“That’s a very simple plan,” Felix says.

I pout. “Well, if you have better ideas, I’m all ears. I can hardly plan around what they’ll do when I don’t know how they’ll react. So we’re going to have to wing it a little.”

Felix shrugs. “I’m okay with that.”

“Let me send a few little friends out now, and then we can go stand out by the road.”

I really doubt my little friends will find any truly fearsome monsters, which means we really will have to be careful once we’re out there. It’ll be really easy to mess up and have everything come crashing down on our heads.

Once everything is as ready as I can manage with the limited time I have, Felix and I move out of the woods and over to the edge of the road.

The caravan keeps on moving. I see some of the guards calling out to each other, and a rather rotund man jumps off the back of one of the carriages and jogs up to the guard.I figure the guard the fat man is talking to has to be the person in charge. He has the nicest hat, which is usually a good sign someone is important.

I’ll never understand the love for feather-covered headwear. And those with big poofs of fluff just look like they’d be a pain in the butt to keep clean.

The two guys move up to the front of the caravan, and I notice two of the guards with crossbows moving up as well. The others stay where they are, and the caravan doesn’t slow down or anything.

“Here we go,” I say.

What I imagine is the guard captain jogs ahead, then stops some dozen metres away. “Hail!” he says, one arm raised above his head in a traditional greeting.

“Hello,” I call back.

Felix does the same, and the guard approaches us while his chubbier companion catches up with some heavy pants. “Are you travellers?” the guard asks.

“We are,” I say. “We’re heading to the capital now.”

“Alone?” he asks.

“Yes,” I say.

The other man bends down, hands on knees for a moment before he straightens. “Greetings, little misses.”

“Hello,” I say again. Are we just going to greet each other in circles?

“Well then, if you don’t mind standing aside for us to pass on by,” the guard captain says.

“Where are they headed to?” the man I suspect is a merchant asks.

[Pedro Pérez – The Jolly Merchant]

Adept Customer Pleaser

Initiate Nose for Business

An interesting pair of classes there. Definitely a merchant.

“We’re heading to the capital,” I say. “We have some things that we need over there.”

“And you’re on the road, alone. Two girls?” the guard asks.

[Matias Brion – The Cautious Captain – Devotee of Caement]

Novice Leader of Adventurers

Initiate Sword-Dancer

“We didn’t have anyone to escort us,” I say. “And besides, we can take care of ourselves.”

Matias sniffs. “Yes, I’m sure,” he says. It’s a little weird to see a servant of Caement out and about like this. He’s not a god known for sponsoring adventurers or anything like that. Unless he’s branching out? Then again, I guess you can be devoted to a god and do something unrelated. Even the god of heroes has cooks that worship him. “Did you see the monsters?” he asks, snapping me out of my thoughts.

“Yes, a dreadful lot of them,” Pedro adds.

I hesitate for a moment, then nod. “Yeah, we did. There were a lot of them. And there was an angel too.”

The guard nods. “You saw it as well then. We only caught a glimpse of it heading around and to the south.”

“It was heading north,” I say. Is he trying to trick me?

“Not anymore. But that’s besides the point. Pedro, we should continue moving.”

“And leave these young ladies here? Come now, Matias, what sort of monster would leave mere children on the road, with so many monsters about?”

“So few, more like—the angel did a number on them,” Matias says. Pedro’s brows meet, and he places hands on hips like a chastising mother. Matias sighs. “Our contract is for the caravan.”

Pedro’s frown turns into a knowing grin. “Ladies, I am Pedro Pérez, known throughout the kingdom as the man who can make anyone happy. Man or woman. I know what people love, and I give it to them in abundance. Now, little misses, I see that you aren’t used to long treks across great distances. Perhaps I could entice you to join our caravan? For a small fee, you could rest your weary feet from here to the capital.”

“That does sound nice,” I say.

“Indeed! Just think, we are somewhat faster, and due to arrive before nightfall. I’m certain you don’t wish to spend the night under the stars. Not with monstrous creatures about. The god’s own luck shines upon you if an angel has cleared your path thus far, and for a little copper, the gods could smile upon you again and whisk you away to the very gates of the capital.”

“Tch,” Matias scoffs. He’s likely unimpressed by the merchant’s spiel, but I’m not like him.

“I think we’d both enjoy a ride to the capital,” I say. “How much would it cost?”

“Why, that would depend on how much it is worth to you.”

I’m about to offer some of my gold when Felix cuts in. “Two copper.”

Pedro slaps a hand over his heart. “Two copper! Each, I suppose? My poor donkeys will starve. You weigh little, of course, but the added strain...”

“I thought your thing was making everyone happy?” I asked.

“Of course! And I will! How much happier would you be if you didn’t need to carry your goods! For two pieces of copper each, we’ll allow you to place them on a wagon. I’m certain a brisk walk would do you good in the meantime, especially with less weight on your shoulders.”

I chuckle. He’s really trying to get more out of us.

“Five coppers. Total,” Felix says.

“That’s not much of an improvement, dearest,” Pedro says.

Felix huffs back. “Fine, six. And don’t tell me your donkeys dine on meat and wine.”

“I suppose for six coppers each...”

“Total,” Felix says.

“Five each, perhaps?” Pedro tries.

Felix turns her head my way, and I shrug. “That sounds good to me,” I say. “Five copper each, and we can ride along in one of your carriages.”

“It’s a deal!” Pedro says.

“Good. Do you have change for gold?” I ask as I remove a coin from a pocket.

Felix smacks herself in the face next to me.

***