Heart of Dorkness

Pedro the merchant is a lot more obsequious than I expected him to be initially. I think flashing some gold before him has turned the already happy merchant into an instant friend.

Of course, I don’t trust him as far as I could throw him, and I couldn’t even lift him if I spent every spell I know trying.

Pedro has one of the carriages slow down so that Felix and I can hop on. It’s not very roomy in the back. There’s a bench up against a tall stack of boxes, and two little wooden planks on the sides that also serve as benches, but the majority of the space is taken up by crates.

“This is where the adventurers I’ve hired rest. They take turns,” Pedro says. He grunts as he sits down on one of the wooden slats, then he starts rubbing at his knees. “It should be comfortable enough, I hope. It’s out of the sun, at the very least.”

“Thanks,” I say. Felix and I are both small enough that we can squeeze in together to one side. I figure Pedro’s going to start asking questions soon, and it would be best if that could just... not happen. I’m not exactly great at all the socializing things though.

“So, Mister Pedro,” Felix says, saving me from having to figure out how to talk. “What do you sell?”

“Ah, whatever will make my clients happiest!” Pedro says with an expansive gesture. He taps at the side of one crate with a knuckle. “Today we’re carrying liquid joy.”

“Liquid joy?” Felix asks.

Pedro nods. “Laudanum, my dear. One spoonful and you’ll be buzzing with joy. Joy mages are frequent buyers, of course, but there are others. Physicians use it quite often. It’s wonderful at relieving head and heartache, at soothing toothache and... for women's issues. Perhaps you would like a bottle?”

“No, thank you,” I say. Drugs are bad. Mom would be very disappointed in me if I returned home addicted to something. “Do you sell a lot of drugs?”

“Not drugs, dear,” Pedro says. “These are emotional assistants. They help cultivators feel the right sort of emotion in order to better use their powers.”

“That doesn’t sound great,” I say.

Pedro shrugs. “It’s what my clients want. Hashish from Endoraga, to make one calm. Ginger root for disgust. I once purchased a jar of hundred-year-old lady caps from an auction. My, what a prize that was!”

“Lady caps?” Felix asks. She’s tilting her head to the side again, curiosity radiating off of her.

“A mushroom. Wonderful for Fear mages,” Pedro says. “But enough about my old self. What are you two ladies doing on such a long and dreary road?”

“Just going to the capital,” I say. I think fast. “Felix here was injured, so I’m going to find a healer.”

“Is she?” Pedro asks. I can’t imagine he’s missed the bandage over her eyes. “The poor dear. Do you know any good healers in the capital?”

“Not yet,” I say. “But I imagine they’re way better than those in a little place like Santafaria.”

“Oh, certainly,” Pedro says. “You will want to see the temple of Acacia. Her healers are second to none, and she has one of her major temples right next to the palace in the First Walls.”

“First Walls?” I ask. “I’m sorry, I really don’t know the capital that well.”

Pedro nods. “Your accent reminds me of an Iarian one. You’re not from the kingdom?”

I shake my head. “I’m from elsewhere. But Felix is a local. And we don’t want to travel too far. Can you tell us about the capital? I’m sure you’ve spent a lot of time there.”

“Oh, I’ve travelled lots. Pedro calls no place his home but the open roads. But the capital.” The merchant rubs at his chin. There’s a pinch of stubble there. “There’s no place quite like Montele. The city is vast! It stretches out for leagues, with a sea of homes across it. The walls around the entire city leave much to be desired, especially when compared to other capitals, but they are impressive, if only because of the great distances they cover.”

“So it’s a big city?” I ask.

“One of the largest. It would be more appropriate to call it four smaller cities though. That’s what it once was. Four settlements around a central river, though you can hardly tell where one ends and the other begins anymore. Do take a look at the grand cathedrals; they are a sight to behold!”

“We will,” I say.

It’s likely that the books have been transported to the Church of the Hero’s cathedral. At least, that’s where I’d guess they are. I’ll have to snoop around before I know for certain.

I just hope the god himself isn’t around. “Do you think I’ll be able to see the Great Hero himself?” I ask.

“Perhaps! A few of the minor gods might also be around. They don’t spend much time toiling in the affairs of mere mortals like us, but on occasion they will appear to direct and assist their worshippers. Ah, I would give a third of my gold to be blessed by Mortimer.”

I nod along. Pedro starts talking about the pretty architecture, and the nice homes in the areas where the more affluent nobles live. It’s nice information to have, but I can’t help but feel it’s not all that important right now.

Maybe Pedro senses it, because he sighs and presses his hands on his knees and stands. “I must return to keeping an eye on things. Watched water never boils, as they say, and I have more than one pan on the fire.”

I wave him goodbye, and watch as he climbs out and jogs at the back of the wagon for a bit before moving on to the others in the caravan.

A sigh I didn’t know I was holding escapes me. “Well, we know a bit more, I guess,” I say.

“Yeah,” Felix says. “This is nicer than walking, but not by much.”

The wagon is on the bumpier side, and the seats lack some cushions. “Here, let's set the blanket down; that might help.” I stand and Felix does the same, and we unfold our remaining blanket so we have something soft to sit on.

“Did you mean it?” Felix asks.

“Mean what?” I ask.

“About healing me.”

I blink, then grin over to Felix. “I don’t see why not. I still haven’t paid you for your services.”

Felix laughs, one of her still-too-bony arms wrapping itself around my waist to pull me into a sidelong hug. “Thank you!” she says. “You’re wonderful.”

“Hardly,” I say as I fight back a silly blush.

The hug is nice though.

It ends after a few seconds as Felix straightens and looks out the back of the wagon. A hand grabs the edge of the panel there, and a moment later an unfamiliar person leaps aboard with a grunt of effort.

He’s a tallish man, skinny under his padded gambeson, and with a small moustache riding his upper lip. He stares at us before nodding, then he wiggles his spear into a set of hooks above the entrance. “Hello,” he says.

“Hi,” I reply.

“Sorry, it’s my turn to rest my feet.” He sits across from us, and winces as he raises his legs. I think he’s stretching the arch of his feet inside of his thick boots. “We’re hardly at noon yet and I’m already looking forward to arriving.”

“I can imagine,” I say.

“Oh, yeah, I guess you two have walked this far, huh?” he asks as he leans back. I guess him to be in his late teens. He can’t be more than five years older than me. “Brave of you. I wouldn’t want to be all the way out here without Matias and the others.”

“Are you all part of one group then?” I ask.

He nods, the pride in his eyes obvious. “We are. Biron’s Brigade. The best adventurers between the Dark Gulf and the Montibus mountains!”

“That’s nice,” Felix says. “What’s an adventurer do?”

“You... don’t know?” he asks.

Felix shakes her head, and I have to hold back a snort at the crestfallen expression that he wears for a moment.

“We fight monsters and keep people safe,” he says.

“And you guard merchant caravans,” I say.

“Well, yes, we need to do something to earn a living, after all.”

“Very heroic,” I say.

He pouts, which isn’t very nice to see on a boy that old. “We make sure that things are delivered safely between cities. It’s important work. Though... yes, I do wish we’d spend more time fighting against monsters and less time doing patrols.”

“I guess I understand,” I say.

He nods. “It’s very difficult and important work. All the women think so.”

I look at Felix, and she tilts her head my way. Our eyes can’t meet, but I think we communicate something to each other anyway.

We both giggle at the same time, and the poor boy looks very unimpressed by it all.

***