Dungeons Just Want to Have Fun

Anton ran. He knew his life depended on it. Kelsey was running right next to him.

“Why is he still alive?” he gasped.

Despite going at full pelt, Kelsey didn’t seem to have any trouble talking. “He’s wounded,” she said. “I saw my shots getting deflected. I think he’s got a Trait that turns any fatal injury into a flesh wound. Kind of useful for a duellist, no?”

Anton felt a chill at the thought that Al-Kadir had twenty traits, all of which were optimised for one-on-one hand-to-hand.

“Can he even be killed?” he asked.

“Not sure,” Kesley said. Then she called ahead. “Cast off! Untie us! We’re leaving!”

The girls on the boat mostly milled around, not understanding what she was saying, but the street kids had been around the docks long enough to understand the basics. They started unhooking the heavy ropes that were holding the ship to the dock.

One of the kids tried pulling in the gangplank. It was a job for someone with adult strength, though, and it didn’t work out. It splashed into the harbour at just as Anton and Kelsey were arriving.

Neither of them needed it. Anton used Leaping Attack to make a deft landing on the ships deck. His sword, drawn while he was in the air, came down on the last remaining rope, severing it.

“Nice!” Kelsey said, making her own leap, less graceful but no less effective. She raced to the pedestal that she had installed in the stern and started barking out orders.

“Anton, get to the front and push our nose away from the pier! Aris, get on the roof and start shooting Soraya’s boyfriend! Use the rifle! The rest of you, hang on or get below!”

She did something that Anton couldn’t see, and a rumbling sound started from below. It sounded similar to the moterboat engine from before, but deeper and muffled by the deck. It seemed that they would be able to talk, this trip.

“We did test it,” Kelsey said with some relief, “But it’s nice to know that it worked first time.”

Soraya had taken Kelsey’s advice and was holding on to a line tied to the side of the boat. She was staring down the dock at the blood-covered form of her would-be husband in horror.

“Can’t we start leaving faster?” she called out plaintively.

“We’re pushed out as far as I can go!” Anton called back. The dock was hanging just six inchs away from his outstretched foot. He’d seen dock workers use long poles for this purpose, but they didn’t have any.

A crack came from the roof of the crew’s quarters, as Aris took a shot at Al-Kadir.

“It’s not working!” she called down. “I think he’s… batting them out of the air?”

“You’re slowing him down,” Kelsey called back. “Keep firing!”

She did something that Anton couldn’t see and the ship lurched forward.

There was another crack from Aris’s rifle.

“He’s getting closer!” Soraya called out urgently.

“Going as fast as I can…” Kelsey said as she eased her way past the other tied-up ships. There were a few crew aboard them, looking on with amazement as the Whiskerwind moved without sail or oar.

There were thirty feet between them and the dock now, a gap that Anton couldn’t have crossed, but he wasn’t prepared to say that Al-Kadir couldn’t. He was just reaching the end of the pier. He wasn’t running, he seemed to need to keep his guard up against Aris’s constant barrage, but he would take a few steps and then blink, about fifteen yards closer.

He got to the edge just as Kelsey found a clear line to travel. The engine beneath the deck roared and they jumped forward again.

Al-Kadir waited for Aris’s shot. He wasn’t swatting the bullets out of the air, Anton could see, he was blocking them with his forearm. Blood spurted out where the bullet hit, but the wound didn’t look debilitating.

Then he leapt. The dock cracked under his feet as he flew through the air. It was a prodigious leap, far in excess of what Anton could do, even with his Trait. It wasn’t going to be enough, though. Then he blinked.

Leaping Attack.

Anton’s foot smashed into Al-Kadir’s chest. Anton didn’t know why he did that. He didn’t know that he could do that, leap to a target that wasn’t there yet. But something inside him told him that he needed to do it. He listened.

Al-Kadir was much, much stronger than Anton. But they were both in the air. This encounter was about momentum and mass, and Al-Kadir was about the same weight as Anton. The kick shoved Anton forward, and Al-Kadir backward, cancelling his momentum. For a brief moment, Anton feared that Al-Kadir might grab his leg, putting them both in the drink. The courl champion grabbed at him, but he was just too slow. Maybe it was the surprise or the pain of his wounds, but Anton’s leg was just outside of Al-Kadir’s reach when his hands closed.

From that point on, their trajectories diverged. Anton fell back on the deck, getting the breath knocked out of him by the impact. Al-Kadir fell into the water with a mighty splash.

Kelsey stared down at him as he lay on the deck, recovering.

“Nice trick,” she said. “Does anyone know if courl can swim?”

“We don’t like the water,” Soraya said haughtily, “But we’re certainly capable of swimming.”

She looked at Anton, who was groaning and peeling himself off the deck. “Thank you,” she said in a much more humble tone. “If he’d gotten on board, I don’t know…”

“Think nothing of it, princess,” Kelsey said. “You’re part of the team, now, aren’t you?”

“Of course, yes,” Soraya agreed. She bowed her head in Kelsey’s direction. “Part of the team.”

“Anyone got eyes on loverboy?” Kelsey asked.

“I see him,” Aris called out. Her rifle cracked again.

Looking at the splash, Anton saw that it went wild. He could see the small dark dot that was Al-Kadir’s head, making its way back to the docks.

“I can’t compensate for the waves,” Aris complained.

Anton looked at her in surprise. He didn’t think that Aris would try to finish off a helpless opponent.

“What?” she asked. “We’re still trying to kill him, right?”

“Please don’t stop on my account,” Soraya said.

Kelsey cackled gleefully. “Don’t worry about it, I think we’re done with him for now.”

“We will see him again, though,” Anton said.

Kelsey gave him a long look. “Is that coming from your Sense Destiny Trait?” she asked.

“Um, maybe?” Anton replied. “I’m not sure why I’m so certain.”

“Well, it doesn’t take a semi-mystical Trait to know that he’s going to come after us,” Kelsey agreed. “Hopefully, Sense Destiny will provide some insight that isn’t quite so obvious going forward. Take the wheel.”

“Uh, sure, why?” Anton asked as he stepped forward to take Kelsey’s place. He’d taken a turn manning the tiller during their first trip with the Kabimen. This ship had started with a similar tiller arrangement, but Kelsey had replaced it with a wheel like the bigger ships had. “Are you sure we don’t need a captain to get out of the harbour? The inspector seemed pretty certain.”

“That’s ‘cause he’s used to sail,” Kelsey said scornfully. “You need a lot of skill to pilot a sailboat. The wind blows one way, and you almost always want to go in another. You gotta worry about currents, and how your sails are set—”

“Galleys don’t have to worry about those things,” Soraya interrupted.

“They have their own problems,” Kelsey said. “Coordinating all those slaves… just being so long makes it hard to turn. We don’t have to worry about any of that.”

She pointed at the wheel. “Just turn that in the direction you want to go. When you’re heading in the right direction, bring it back to the centre.”

She pointed at a lever to the side. “Move that forward to go faster, back to go slower, and further back to go backwards. Simple.”

Anton nodded his understanding. He immediately spun the wheel until their course changed about thirty degrees and then restored it to the centre.

Kelsey looked at him and then scanned the harbour ahead of them.

“Anton,” she said pleasantly. “Why did you do that?”

“It… felt like the right direction?” Anton said.

“We were already headed out of the harbour,” Kelsey pointed out.

“We still are,” Anton returned. “It’s just… better this way.”

Kelsey blinked. “Whatever,” she said. “I don’t have time for this now, we’ll break out the Zener cards when this is over.”

“What’s wrong?” Soraya asked. “We got away from Al-Kadir, didn’t we?”

“So it seems,” Kelsey said, making her way forward. “But we’ve got ninety-nine more problems. We never got a pass to leave.”

“But you need one!” Soraya protested. “Why did we do all that work if you weren’t going to get one?”

“For starters,” Kelsey said as she reached the bow. She was talking loudly but Anton could barely hear her. “We were lacking a credentialed captain.”

“We don’t have a captain?” Soraya said. “Oh, you were just saying… Father always had a captain. Their credentials never came up.”

“Right. Live and learn,” Kelsey said. “The other part was your boyfriend showing up before we could sort that out.”

She started attaching long metal rods to the attachments on the steel plate.

“I’m sorry, this is all my fault, isn’t it?” Soraya said. “But, we need a pass. They check just about everybody at the entrance.”

“It’s a risk,” Kelsey agreed, “As is the risk that the inspector wakes up and tells anybody that will listen that we’re rogue traders that need to be stopped at all costs. I doubt our little battle with Al made a good impression on him.”

The rods all came together into… something. Something complicated. Anton wondered what it was for, but it soon became clear.

“But then… they’ll definitely send ships after us!” Soraya exclaimed. “What are we going to do?”

“I have some hope of outrunning them,” Kelsey said. “But this is the other half of that plan.”

The complicated thing, it turned out, had the job of supporting another thing that Kelsey summoned. This looked more familiar. It looked a lot like Aris’s rifle, only more… complicated. More like an engine. And bigger.

“Kelsey?” Aris called out. She was still on the roof. “There’s something happening ahead.” She pointed.

The Bey’s ship, that massive, opulent excess of a ship was pulling out of its berth.

“That’s just a coincidence, surely,” Kelsey said. She looked back at Anton. If they’d taken their original heading, they would be passing much closer to the barge.

“A coincidence?” Soraya said. “Do you know the Bey?”

“Can’t say I’ve met him,” Kelsey said, “But he might have read reports about me.”

She took out her twin spyglasses and examined the ship closely. Then she swore, loudly and at great length. It was in a language that Anton didn’t know, but he was still pretty sure that she was swearing.

Then she stomped back to where he was.

“Take a look,” she said. “I’ll keep the heading.”

Anton steadied himself against the steering pillar and took a look. He still couldn’t control it well, his gaze wandered all over the far-away ship.

“Oh,” he said. “Is that?”

“You see it?” Kelsey asked.

“I’m not sure,” he temporised.

“Don’t try to tell me all courl look alike,” Kelsey said with grim amusement. “That’s racist, that is.”

“Well… I didn’t get a good look at him before, but I recognise the uniform,” Anton said. “But there must be others with the same fancy coat?”

“Use Discernment,” Kelsey suggested.

Oh, right, Anton thought.

Orhan Al-Demir, Level ???, Admiral, Midshipman/Reckless Pilot/Ship’s Captain/Admiral S: ?? T: ?? A: ?? D: ?? P: ?? W: ?? C: ??

“It is him,” he said despondantly. Just how many Fourth Tiers were they going to have to face? “Why is he on this ship though? He wasn’t before.”

“The Bey must have brought him back to report on our previous naval battle,” Kelsey said thoughtfully. “Our gunfight earlier must have attracted some high-level attention.”

“What are we going to do?” Anton asked.

“You have to ask?” Kelsey said gleefully. “It’s time for Round Two!”