Dial H for Heroics

Jack took the command chair. He closed his eyes for a second as he reviewed their

plans. He should check on Juni and Mister Warner, but he knew Josie would like to

check on the freed women with King Grecious.

“That was an impressive trick with the birds,” he finally said.

“The range and power pull is not that great,” said Josie. She stood in the middle of

the Bridge. “It’s a single shot destructive spell using the scrying that I have already

been doing. It’s the same as the mass transport spell I came up with before we hit that

camp on the way to the Goblin Tree lab.”

“Do you think Hax will modify his behavior?,” asked Jack. What Josie had done to

their city had probably poked holes in every scheme for power they had come up with

before they had turned to monster soldiers.

“We’ll see with the next few quests we get dealing with Shemmaria,” said Josie.

“Maybe we convinced them to be a little less combative.”

“Where do you want to go to next?,” asked Jack.

“I have to deal with Grecious to make sure he is taking care of the women I freed,”

said Josie. “Once I have them set up, we can check on Juni and Warner, then home.”

“Enterprise, take us to the Grecian capitol,” said Jack. “I can’t wait to see how you

explain all of this for the archive.”

“Affirmative,” said the machine.

“You stopped the Book Demon from escaping,” said Josie. “You have to fill out the

paperwork. I’ll fill out what I can for Caroline.”

“Do you think she is all right?,” asked Jack.

“Jane did a scan,” said Josie. “She cut us off to talk to Caroline. It might have been

bad news.”

Jack frowned. Caroline could have been brutally tortured while in captivity. They

didn’t have to keep her alive, if they could fake her handwriting. He was glad that

Josie was exterminating the human monsters when she could.

He had freed Elaine from the Montrose. He never regretted throwing the guy at the

inn from the window. If he hadn’t been in a hurry, he might have done worse.

The big screen showed the capitol below. It looked like a nice place. Josie hitting the

place like a tidal wave might have punched holes in the infrastructure that the

monarchy would have to fix. He didn’t mind hoisting extra work on someone else.

“How do you want to do this?,” asked Jack.

“I’ll have to go down and make sure that the rescued can look after themselves, deal

with the King about a fund, and answer any reasonable question,” said Josie. “It

should be a snap.”

“I can call Mister Warner through his phone to see if he needs help,” said Jack. “If

you want, I can come down and look around to make sure the King is okay with us

stepping into his business.”

“You can call Mister Warner?,” asked Josie.

“I fixed our phones so we can call each other without the bands,” said Jack. “I sent

you a text message. You might have to charge it up with magic, but it should work

fine across the continent.”

“All right,” said Josie. She smiled. “Now I have a reason to carry it around.”

“So we’re going down?,” asked Jack.

“I might need someone to watch out after what I did on my last visit,” said Josie.

“All right,” said Jack. “Enterprise, we’re going down. Stay on station and try to be as

unobtrusive as possible until we need your phasers and torpedoes.”

“Affirmative,” said the machine.

Jack stood. He had to give Juni and Mister Warner room to move. If they needed him,

they could call him as long as he wasn’t wearing a persona.

“I’ll carry us down there,” said Josie. “I don’t know if the king will want me to clear

out other cities like I did here, but it might be something we can use to bargain with

him.”

“He’s going to want to talk to Caroline again,” said Jack. “It’s something we’re going

to have to address.”

“We’ll do what we can with what we have,” said Josie.

She pulled on Zatanna and sent out a bird to take them to the King. She waited for the

bird to land, then they snapped across the space.

Jack grinned as he looked around at the throne room. The local knights reached for

their swords. He wondered if he should call on Blade and show them something.

“Your Majesty,” said Josie. She let Zatanna go. “This is my partner, Jack.”

“Pleased to meet you,” said Jack. “I have never been in such a good looking room.

It looks like you paid your interior designer well.”

“The Queen will be pleased by your assessment,” said Grecious. He frowned at the

commoner before him. “What do you want from me?”

Jack put his hands in his pockets. He thought the king was in good shape. He might

have been a good fighter when he was younger. His hair had grayed in places but he

still had most of it. He wore some jewelry, but it was understated as far as that went.

He looked a little angry, but holding it in.

Josie had probably shown him a small amount of real anger when she had first visited.

Or some ruthlessness he had never seen before from any kind of slender woman

dressed like a vagabond.

“I need to sort the women I rescued, I need to check on my comrades to make sure

they stopped the end of the world, and I need to check on my girls,” said Josie. “I will

be glad to pay you for the assistance that you have already rendered to me.”

“Caroline?,” asked the king.

“Jane is taking care of her,” said Josie. “I can bring her back at any time, but Jane

made it clear she was hurt more than we thought when I freed her. I can take you to

Hawk Ridge to visit her if you want. I don’t have a problem with that.”

“Actually, we might be able to speed up how long she had to stay in a bed and

recover,” said Jack. “The Hospital has exceptional tools, but we are personally better

than they are.”

“And what would you want for that?,” asked the king.

“Nothing,” said Jack. “My beloved and I are eventually getting married when we have

things worked out the way we want them, so you can come by for that if you want.

I’ll arrange a transport service for you and your guests.”

“Not me,” said Josie. She held up a hand at his glance. “I don’t plan to ever get

married. We can take you to see Caroline and bring you back before the end of the

day.”

“The Ducklings would love to meet a real king,” said Jack. He grinned at his friend’s

disgruntled look. “The best they’ve met is the Duke, and whatever Brant is.”

“The Ducklings?,” said Grecious.

“They are my adopted sisters,” said Josie. “I’m hoping to let them grow up and make

their own horrible life choices.”

“I can’t wait until they start dating,” said Jack. “The boyfriends can’t all be Todds.”

“They can wind up like him,” declared Josie.

Jack grinned at her.

“Go check on your new Wild Bunch,” said Jack. “I’ll call Mister Warner to make sure

he is not setting the coast on fire. When you get back, we’ll go. Your Majesty, if you

want to stay overnight in Hawk Ridge, I will be glad to put you up. If you want to

take the Queen, I can wait to take her with us. One extra person is not going to make

that much of a difference.”

“I will need to take a contingent for security,” said King Grecious

“I am not putting them up,” said Jack. “The place only has room for two more if they

take the couch. Any more than that, they have to find an inn to sleep in.”

“Don’t leave without me,” said Josie. She pulled on her magician and went off to

search for her rescued slaves as he said never.

They both knew he would take off if he felt the urge to do so, and say sorry later.

“I will tell my wife that I am leaving,” said Grecious.

“I’ll be right here,” said Jack. “We’ll be glad to bring you back at the end of your

visit.”

The king nodded. He left the room through a door behind his desk. Jack thought it

might lead to a private hall to his quarters. He was curious but not curious enough to

follow.

The guards remained in the office with him. He supposed he was the most dangerous

person in the castle depending on where Josie was which made their behavior fair.

“I have to make a call,” Jack told the guards. “You’re allowed to listen, but don’t say

anything. Mister Warner is a cranky, old man.”

The guards looked at him with a certain amount of fear in their eyes.

“Don’t worry,” said Jack. “He won’t even know you’re here if you’re quiet.”

He pulled out his phone and pressed the call button. He frowned at the charge display.

The Enterprise must be draining the battery when he is onboard.

“What do you want, Jack?,” asked Mister Warner.

“Have you stopped whatever is going on at Tern yet?,” asked Jack. He knew they

hadn’t because the all clear ding hadn’t been sent.

“No,” said Warner. “I think we’re about halfway there. We’re scaring every type of

animal between Hawk Ridge and the coast the way we’re going. We must be

skimming along at a couple hundred miles an hour.”

“Is Boim there?,” asked Jack.

“Yep,” said Warner. “Do you want to talk to her?”

“No,” said Jack. “We went up and talked to her sister. Josie put a warning down for

her government.”

“Do I want to know what kind of warning?,” asked Warner.

“The heads will roll if you don’t straighten up kind of warning,” said Jack. “I think

she cleared the city of Montrose too.”

“Got it,” said Warner. “We’re going to clear this, and head back to Hawk Ridge.

We’ll be down in Goblin territory somewhere. I don’t remember which clan off

hand.”

“Don’t let Juni marry into the tribes,” said Jack. “She’ll be running the place before

you know it.”

“June!,” said Mister Warner.

“Don’t you dare,” said Jack.

“Jack said don’t be a goblin,” said Warner.

“I will get even with you for that,” said Jack.

“I owed you for the hair, and new teeth,” said Warner. He cut the connection.

“I’ll still get even,” said Jack. He put the phone away.

A couple of the guards were trying not to laugh at him.

“Old people,” said Jack. He shrugged.

“How does that work?,” said one of the guards. “We clearly heard a voice coming

from that box.”

“I don’t really know a lot about electronics,” said Jack. “But the simple explanation

is that the box turns sound into another form of energy, sends it out to another box

which changes that energy back into sound. Back home, there are a set of antennae

that direct the signal. Here I had to improvise my own antenna.”

“You could change the face of the world with that,” said the guard.

“It did back home,” said Jack. “It allowed for messages to be sent in minutes instead

of weeks. That changed the course of history.”

“We could use something like that here,” said the guard. “The princess would never

have been in danger.”

“Doubtful,” said Jack.

“I don’t understand,” said the guard.

“The only thing that would have changed is that Caroline would have been missed

faster,” said Jack. “If her own guards were in on it, no one would have known at all

whether you had a better communication network, or not. On the other hand, we

won’t be able to ask the people involved because they obviously ran into something

that punished them before we could ask them questions.”

“Bursting heads was too quick for those people,” said one of the other guards.

“I am wondering how she decided on that,” said Jack. “I’ll have to ask her.”

The king entered the chamber with a woman on his arm. She matched his age, looking

like an older version of their daughter. She wore a plain green dress and cloak. Her

graying hair was long and braided down her front.

“Rikard said that you are taking him to see Caroline,” said the Queen.

“And you want to go?,” asked Jack.

“Yes,” said the Queen. She frowned at his smiling face. It had been a long time since

any commoner other than her maid had said something to her face about refusal.

“The same conditions apply to you,” said Jack. “You get the couch, you let Jane do

what she needs to do, and you keep things under control. I know how hysterical

moms can get. I don’t want to have to deal with that.”

“And who are you to say that to me?,” said the Queen.

“With all apologies to Steve Earle and Chuck Yeager, I’m the fastest man alive,”

said Jack. “And I don’t have to take you along if I don’t want to, missy.”

Josie appeared in the greeting room. She looked around as Zatanna faded. She didn’t

like the expressions that she saw.

“Problems?,” she said.

“They want to use our couch,” said Jack.

“We don’t want to use the couch,” said the Queen.

“You can use the couch if you want,” said Josie. “Just don’t actually use it if you

know what I mean.”

“What?,” said the Queen.

The King looked like he didn’t know whether to be offended or laugh.

“Enterprise, four to beam up,” said Jack into his com. “Energize.”

The guards paused as the group vanished in a cloud of blue sparks. How were

they going to explain this? A letter appeared in the middle of the room, and floated

to the floor. The chief man at arms picked it up and read it. He shook his head.

“We are to wait for the Royalty to come back,” he said. “They plan to be back by

sundown. His Majesty wants someone to inform General Mintz that he has to

reinforce Fort Hern on the Shemmarian border. Who wants to do that?”

“I’ll do it, sir,” said one of the guards.

“If the General asks, tell him that the King and Queen went on a small trip to figure

out what they are going to do about Caroline,” said the chief. “That’s close enough

to the truth that we won’t have to answer to the nobility if they start inquiring about

their personal projects.”

“Understood, sir,” said the guard. He turned and marched away.

“All the rest of us have to do is wait,” said the chief. He didn’t like that at all.

Jack led the way to the bridge. He took the command chair. Josie took her seat at the

first officer’s place. The King and Queen stood. They looked at the strange room with

some awe.

“Don’t worry,” said Jack. “The Enterprise will have us over Hawk Ridge in a few

minutes.”