Dial H for Heroics

Josie frowned at Jack’s showing off. Their guests looked scared enough to actually

try to take the Enterprise. That would be a disaster.

“What kind of fiends are you?,” asked the King. His hand was on his sword.

“Don’t,” said Josie. “Let’s step into the Ready Room. Jack, hover for us. When we

get done talking, we will go down and talk to Jane about Caroline.”

She gestured for the couple to precede her to the doors on the side of the bridge. The

panels slid out of the way before the King could push on them. She walked around

them to take Jack’s chair at the desk. She gestured for them to sit in the guest chairs.

The Queen paused at the pictures on the wall. The King stopped at the false weapons

on the other wall. They looked at Josie.

“The pictures are of people Jack knows, and the things are facsimiles of objects from

our childhood,” said Josie. “Please sit.”

The couple took the chairs. They didn’t relax with the sunlight shining down on them.

It was late afternoon outside.

“Ordinarily, I wouldn’t feel like I have to explain myself to others,” said Josie. “Jack

definitely wouldn’t. You can’t operate the Enterprise, so trying to hurt us would get

you nothing. If you succeeded, and the Enterprise didn’t trap you on the bridge, the

only way off the ship are the transporter rooms which you can’t operate, and the cargo

bay where you could possibly jump to your death if you could get the door open.

“We’re only using your kingdom as a base out of luck. Hawk Ridge is where we first

arrived, and the jobs we had were mostly centered around the city. I ran into the

Montrose my first day here. And I decided they all had to die.”

She gestured at the pictures on the wall.

“The girls in that picture, and Jane and Hilda,” said Josie. “And Elaine were all taken

from the Montrose’s hands, just like Caroline, just like the women I brought to the

keep when we met.”

Josie put on her placid mask. She frowned at her guests.

“We’re not here to take over your kingdom, kill you unless you do something that

needs to be dealt with, or cause you problems with how you do things,” said Josie.

“We are doing quests for the Society, like our predecessor, and like Jack’s sister will

be doing in the north when she gets set up. We are keeping the peace as much as we

can.”

“Duke Hent?,” asked the King.

“He decided that it would be better to try to enforce a false tax bill so he could take

my girls and Jane’s Amazons for the Montrose,” said Josie. “I disagreed with his

assessment, and then Jack met with him face to face.”

“Jack met with him?,” asked the Queen.

“Don’t let him fool you,” said Josie. “He built the Enterprise because we needed a

cold vault to store the survivors from the Goblin Trees, and a source of firepower. I

am glad he didn’t decide to build a berserker, or something else equally massive. The

side effects might have cost more of Shemmaria than what I am willing to calculate.

So we’re going to go down and talk to Caroline. I asked Jane to keep her secure, and

Hent will have members of the Watch there too. She may be damaged more than what

Jane was willing to confide to us over an open line. Jack and I may be able to heal the

damage once we know what Mister Warner and June have done about a quest we

have for Tern. I will be glad to give you a copy of our archives for your reading, and

of Mister Warner’s. I promised we would bring you back to the capitol at sundown,

but obviously Caroline is not going anywhere until I am satisfied she can move on her

own.”

“You can’t do that,” said the King.

“I can do that, and depending on how bad Caroline is hurt, she might die if I send her

home,” said Josie. “So I am going to hold her until she can at least survive the trip

back to the capitol. That’s how that’s going to be.”

“We can make your life miserable,” said the Queen.

“Jack and I can go home and let the next attempt on your daughter succeed,” said

Josie. “The Society might not like it if we retaliated wholesale on your entire country,

but they won’t care if we decide to go home and only come back to do jobs. If we do

that, things will get worse quickly while we’re sitting it out. I have a much bigger

stick than you.”

“You won’t abandon the women we are housing in the Chancellor’s mansion,” said

the King.

Josie transformed into Zatanna. She summoned two books of knowledge. She handed

one to the King. She duplicated the other one. She wrote Haslet on one, and Russ on

the other, before she sent them on their way. She let the persona go.

“I killed that many people before I knew any of those women,” said Josie. “What do

you think I will do now that I am protecting them?”

“Hey, Jo,” said Jack from the intercom. “Routing the city’s image through to the desk

pad. The big white building is the hospital from up here.”

The image popped on the screen. Small pings marked lifesigns from the residents.

Josie nodded.

“All right,” said Josie. “Let’s talk to Caroline. You only have a few hours to sunset

back up north. I’ll leave it to you to decide which one wants to stay.”

“Why one of us?,” asked the Queen.

“One of you is going to have to keep the government running, fix the holes I punched

through dealing with the Montrose, and check to see if the treasury has been robbed,”

said Josie. “The other can stay at the Hospital with Caroline, or with us at our place.

Lord Brant and Duke Hent will probably be hanging around until I am sure Caroline

can be moved and I don’t want to deal with either one of them unless I have to set

them on fire.”

“We will sort that out after we check on Care,” said the King.

“All right,” said Josie. “Shall we go?”

She ushered the nobility out of the Ready Room. She nodded at Jack already standing

by the lift. He held the door for them to step in the cab.

“I already let Elaine know we’re back in town,” said Jack. “She said everything was

okay at the Hole in the Wall.”

“All right,” said Josie. “Let’s get this over with.”

The group made its way to Transporter Room One, then down to the surface. Jack

paused just long enough to talk to Eric’s grumpy uncle, before they walked into the

hospital. Muted murmurs of Madam Witch and Ear Ripper followed Josie around as

she asked Jane which room the princess was in. They took the elevator to the hall, and

was stopped three times before they stepped into the room itself. Case and Caroline

moved away from each other as Josie stepped in the door.

They looked guilty to her.

“Caroline,” said the King. He paused when he saw her laying in the bed.

“Oh,” said the Queen.

“This is Case,” said Jack. “He’s part of Fass’s Fighters. How’s it going, Case?”

“It’s fine, Jack,” said Case. “Your Majesties.”

He bowed to the visitors.

“Case, step into the bathroom with me,” said Josie. “I would like to talk to you in

private for a moment.”

She let him lead the way. He glanced at Jack. The loon grinned back at him.

She glared at Case as she closed the door. He thought that wasn’t a good sign. He

wondered what kind of magic she would use. He might be able to push her out of the

way and flee the room. He doubted Jack would try to stop him.

“Case, if you lie to me, I will flay you alive and pour hot molten ash into the surface

left over, and then I will hang you up as an example to everyone else who should

know better but don’t,” said Josie. “Am I clear?”

“Yes, Madam Witch,” said Case. He tried to control his expression. He had seen what

both of the watchbearers could do in close combat. He didn’t want to be trapped in

an enclosed space with one of them, especially not the one known as Ear Ripper by

the Amazons who worked in the Hospital getting it ready for the next big task.

“Are you trying to get inside the princess?,” asked Josie.

“We were just talking about going out and looking at the city,” said Case. He looked

away. “Maybe see a show when she feels better.”

“Case, she was violently attacked from the looks of things,” said Josie. “Why would

she want to go out with you?”

“We were just talking,” said Case. “It’s not like she agreed to anything.”

“It makes it look like you’re trying to take advantage of an injured woman,” said

Josie. She rubbed the sides of her head with her hands. “And that doesn’t even

include the fact that she is an important noble.”

She frowned as she thought about her options. At the very least, she might have to

pull Case off the roster.

She needed to talk to Caroline about what she wanted.

“If you’re trying to date her, you might as well make your case to her father,” said

Josie.

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” said Case.

“It’s too late to be a chicken,” said Josie. “You should have thought about that before

you started holding hands.”

She stepped out of the bathroom. The Queen and Caroline were talking in low voices.

The King stood by the window looking out over the city. Jack stood by the door,

smiling as he took things in.

“Caroline,” said Josie, breaking into the conversation. “Case tells me that he is

interested in you. I wanted to know what you thought before I pulled him off your

protection detail.”

“Don’t do that,” said Caroline. “He’s done wonders for me. Jane said I might not be

able to walk again. They gave me a potion, but the damage is not healing. It’s obvious

that he is trying too hard, but I like it.”

“But,” said the Queen.

“No one is going to want me now, Mother,” said Caroline. “Once they find out what

happened, they will just use me for the title. I’m unclean. Case is an adventurer that

can retire and not work another day in his life. And he doesn’t care about my

injuries.”

“Madam Witch,” said Case. “I would like to stay.”

The King and Queen started arguing with Caroline about her choice in men. She took

the position that Case had never been with another woman, and he was not going to

try to hold things against her. Case tried to assert a claim for lost virginity, but none

of the other three were listening to him.

And the ruckus was giving Josie a headache. She decided to step in and do something

about the noise level. She put her fingers in her mouth and whistled the highest note

she could manage. The four debaters paused as the sound cut through them.

“Jack, take Case and His Majesty downstairs to the cafeteria and figure out the man

part of this,” said Josie. “I will call you when I want to talk to you.”

Jack opened the door for the other two.

“Come on, Rick,” said Jack. “You don’t want to be in the middle of a female

powwow.”

“All right, ladies,” said Josie, after the men had cleared the room. “Caroline, what’s

going on? What are you trying to do with Case? He deserves some kind of honesty

about your motives. And don’t tell me it’s love at first sight. I have only seen that

once and it didn’t bloom over the course of a few hours.”

“I want someone who doesn’t want to use me for their own ends,” said Caroline.

“Despite his talk, I doubt that Case has even been with one woman, and he has seen

me at my lowest. The men Mother wants me to accompany see me at my best, and

they all want to be the consort to the queen. Case just doesn’t seem to care about that.

I like that.”

“Objections, Your Majesty,” said Josie.

“There are laws in place that members of the royal family have to marry nobles,” said

the Queen. “Case could never marry into the royal line, much less further it.”

“I won’t be able to do that either,” said Caroline. “They hurt me on the inside. I won’t

be able to have children. When I die, Cousin Rustam, or one of his children will be

the next king.”

Caroline took a breath to avoid crying in front of her mother. She kept the sob mostly

down, but she shook a little.

“Does Case know?,” asked Josie.

“He didn’t say so, but he was here during some of the checks by the healers,” said

Caroline. “He must have heard some of it.”

“I am so sorry,” said the Queen. “I am so sorry.”

She hugged her child, crying silently.

“If you weren’t hurt, would you still take a chance on Case?,” said Josie.

“I don’t know,” said Caroline. She patted her mother’s back with one hand. “It would

depend. I assume he took a gentler approach than what he usually does when he is

trying to get a woman to sleep with him.”

“He tried to pick me up when I started trying to get the Ducklings a sword instructor

and I dropped him on the roof of the Adventurers’ Guild hall without his clothes,”

said Josie. “Maybe his approach works better for women who don’t have things to

do.”

“He didn’t tell me about that,” said Caroline. She smiled. “That sounds so funny and

embarrassing at the same time.”

“I had already decided to help you recover, Caroline,” said Josie. “I suppose I can

enable this romance. I have no idea how to do that. I want the two of you to talk about

this and give me some options I can give to Case and your father. Chaperoned

outings, shows, tours, whatever. You might have problems being with a man after

what happened. I don’t think Jack or I can fix that. You are going to have to set a line

so things don’t turn bad and make you bitter, and hurt yourself and Case.”

“Why would you do this?,” said Caroline. She looked at her mother.

“That’s not the question you should be asking,” said Josie.

“What should I be asking?,” said Caroline.

“Are you moving here, or does Case have to move to the capitol so you can try out

this romance?,” said Josie. “Think about that. This new courting thing can founder

just on that. What are you prepared to do?”

“I don’t know,” said Caroline. “Everyone else who has tried to court me have all been

at the Castle.”

“You two figure out which you think will work better. If you want to stay here, I

suppose we can give you June’s room when she moves to her new place,” said Josie.

“Is it safe?,” asked the queen.

“I think so, but I am in the business of protecting the planet and doing away with

malefactors,” said Josie. “We at least have a cursed dragon to make sure Caroline

doesn’t have any problems while she and Case are trying to figure out their business.”

“Cursed dragon?,” said the ladies with varied pitches of excitement.

“Jack,” said Josie as if that explained everything. “I normally wouldn’t involve

myself in anything like this, but Case is my employee, and Caroline is at the crux of

my responsibility. I will prevail on Jack to help you which he would have done

anyway, and then we will sort living arrangements out. I am going to step outside,

and talk to Jack. I want a plan to move forward, and I want you to consider everything

and what options you need down the road. I will arrange for some kind of chaperone

at least the first three dates so you can talk and do things together without trying to

get physical. After that, you can figure out if you want to be alone, or what.”

“Can you help her?,” asked the Queen. “All this magic?”

She waved her hands to indicate the whole building.

“There are practical limitations,” said Josie. “Things have to be built from other

things. Human flesh can only be changed so much before it isn’t human any more.

We’ll talk to Jane, and set up to look at how badly things are broken, and then we will

see what we can do to get Caroline back to normal as much as possible. I can’t

promise anything more than that. And Jack has built elixirs that can help after

everything is said and done.”

“Would you do this if Caroline wasn’t important?,” said the Queen.

For a moment, Josie’s eyes were fire inside the mask of a face she maintained. Then

it vanished.

“Jack has a motto he has been using to teach his dragon responsibility,” said Josie.

“This motto comes from a set of story books where the hero is a member of the Watch

who solves murders. He uses it to justify why he chases murderers. Everyone matters,

or no one does. From the Queen, down to the urchin in the street, either you chase

evil or you do something else and move on. Everyone matters. Now I am going to call

Jack, and we’re going to get on with the rest of the day before we have to take

whichever one of you that has to keep an eye on the government home.”

“I’m sorry,” said the Queen.

Josie waved her off.

“Figure things out,” said Josie. “I will talk to Case and your husband about this.”

She left the room.