Dial H for Heroics

Josie walked Four to the private bathroom next to the Ready Room. She showed the

clone how everything worked. She replicated a new uniform for her with the help of

the Enterprise. She withdrew to give their passenger some privacy.

“How do you want to do this, Jo?,” asked Jack. He sat in his chair, eyes closed.

“The easiest way is to get this Hax and Haslet together and just have a chat with

them,” said Josie. She considered her questions and the goals of such a conversation.

“Then try to see if we can modify their monster army strategy into something that

could be used peacefully so we don’t have to keep coming back here and doing

things.”

“They could have a Pokemon Kingdom with the right incentive,” said Jack. He

grinned at her.

“I think that would dip back in the direction of Project M and the Creature

Commandoes which we are trying to discourage,” said Josie.

“Is that like Fury’s Howling Commandoes?,” asked Jack.

“Government agency uses monsters to carry out special missions?,” asked Josie.

“Yes,” said Jack.

“I guess they fall into that same niche like the Monster Squad, or the Drac Pack” said

Josie.

“If you didn’t care about losses, monsters could be sent in to mess up someone’s C

and C, or supply lines,” said Jack. “I don’t know how they would be useful in a siege

unless the monster was smuggled inside a target building, and set loose on the local

defenders.”

“Do you think the Lich Queen was their first try at a smart monster to use against

other countries?,” asked Josie.

“Yeah, but they didn’t put thought into it,” said Jack. “If they had realized that their

dead subjects would start moving after a bit of time, they might have placed the

bodies in some kind of corral to make it hard for them to get out and start eating the

garrison.”

“I’m wondering about the aggressiveness,” said Josie. “None of the other countries

we have visited seem that much out of control.”

“Couldn’t tell you,” said Jack. “Maybe we’re seeing some kind of personal feud being

fueled by nationalism.”

Four came out of the Ready Room. She had cleaned up and changed into the new

uniform. Her hair have been tied back into the long braid she affected. She nodded

to let them know that she was ready for whatever was to happen next.

“We would like for you to take us to this Hax’s office,” said Josie. “I would like to

talk to him and Haslet, see if we can defuse things so we can put a stop to the monster

making. Once we do that, I have to talk to King Grecious about his daughter and the

women I rescued. Then we have to check on Mister Warner and June. If you want us

to leave you out of things, we will.”

“Can we really change the future?,” asked Four.

“We already have a little bit,” said Josie. “Eventually the countries of this planet will

merge into one organization. It will take a lot of work, and it will take a lot of

patience for that to happen. There will still be the same problems people have now,

but maybe with a better support system to help everyone.”

“I would like to see that day,” said Four.

“So would I,” said Jack. “But before all that, we have to deal with this monster

wrangling. Shall we?”

“Let’s go down to Hax’s office,” said Josie. “Then I can gather up Haslet. We’ll talk

with them, and then move on.”

“All right,” said Jack. “Keep an eye out for that snake, Enterprise.”

“Affirmative,” said the machine.

Josie changed long enough to summon birds to carry them down to where they

wanted to go. They landed in an empty office full of stacked reports on a desk. A

portrait of a man in a uniform hung on the wall. A separate smaller desk was placed

in the middle of the room.

She noted that there were no visitor chairs. Maybe Hax didn’t get a lot of visitors in

his office. Maybe he wanted them to come in, hand him a report, and leave. What did

he do when a superior arrived? Give up his own chair?

Josie sat down behind the desk. She began reading the reports. She frowned at some

of what she read. Evidently monsters needed a lot of cows to eat.

Unless cows were a euphemism for people.

She put the papers back together. Russ and Jack had brought in two chairs for their

guests. She nodded at the silent signal to get started.

She pulled on her magician and sent out summons. She changed back as two men in

uniform appeared. They were both fit, but one was heavier and had a few more

decorations on his uniform. They had the same muttonchops that Shemmarians

seemed to prefer over beards, or goatees. They looked around at the office, the

slimmer one recognizing it as his own.

“Sit down, gentlemen,” said Josie. She waved at the guest chairs. “I would like to call

this meeting to order and see if we can work out some kind of agreement so we don’t

have to meet again.”

“Who do you think you are?,” asked the slimmer man. “This is my office.”

“It will be your replacement’s office if you don’t sit down,” said Josie. She gestured

at the chairs. “And I will talk to him about cleaning up the bloodstains off stone.”

“Threatening is something I need to work on,” whispered Jack to Russ where they

stood by the door. “I always seem to have to hurt people before they believe me.”

“I can’t imagine why,” said Russ. She frowned at the man in his strange clothes and

smiling mask of a face.

Josie decided to wait for a few seconds before she called on Bulletgirl and put a hole

in Hax to get her threat across.

The general sat down first. He folded his hands together. He frowned at Josie, but

kept silent. He was waiting for what Josie would do to enforce her threat.

Hax looked at the room. He sat down when he saw that the woman officer in the room

was not going to try to help him.

“Gentlemen, my name is Josie Fox,” said Josie. “I represent the Robert Reed

Appreciation Society. In the last month, I have discovered that this office has engaged

in kidnaping women and children from across the continent, had them shipped here,

and used to grow monsters. I have discovered that this office has almost destroyed the

country of Shemmaria, and its neighbors twice, with a third attempt ongoing to render

the capitol uninhabitable by humans.

“As a representative of the Society, it is my job to ensure peace and the preservation

of the people under my wing. Since I have stopped the Goblin Tree and the Demon

Possession experiments, I would like to ask you two to go over any future projects

and stop being stupid.”

“What do you mean kidnaping women and children?,” asked Haslet. He glanced at

Hax in a less than a friendly way.

“This office needed subjects for their Goblin Tree experiment to create a perfect

army,” said Josie. “They decided to take people criminally enslaved in other countries

and subject them to forcing the plant on them which then creates an expanding race

of beast people who attack anything that moves.”

“How do you know this?,” asked Hax.

“Because I and my partner have been killing members of this organization almost

since we were picked to do what we do,” said Josie. “We tracked the shipping of one

such wagon of prisoners to the site of the experiment with a party of adventurers, and

razed it to the ground.”

“We didn’t kill all the troops there,” said Jack. “Some of them were left alive to report

back.”

“Unless they dropped dead and became new Goblin Trees to make monsters that

require a huge amount of fire to get rid of and attack anything that moves so it can

spread,” said Josie.

“And you used this on people, Hax?,” asked Haslet. “What were you thinking?”

“I’m protecting Shemmaria,” said Hax.

“The people you went in with planned to attack Shemmaria from Grecious and blame

Grecious for the attack,” said Josie. “We put a stop to that on the way here.”

“What?,” asked Hax.

“So I want to make my position clear so you understand the agreement I am going to

put forward,” said Josie. “No more monster making, no more searching for ancient

curses to use as weapons, no more readying attacks on your neighbors. A certain

vigilance is expected, and understood, but once we cure the soldiers that were

infected with the goblin tree, we only want to visit the country to appreciate the way

things are done. If we get another notice from the Society that you are still

intentionally, or accidentally, trying to destroy this part of the world, I will be angry.”

“And you don’t want to see her angry,” said Jack.

“Why should we agree to this?,” said Hax.

Josie saw Jack grinning behind Hax, and Russ holding her face with her hand.

“Do you want a practical example of what will happen?,” asked Josie.

“No,” said Haslet.

“Yes, I want to see what the stick is,” said Hax.

“Are you stupid?,” asked Haslet.

“At least too big an ego not to know when to fold,” said Jack.

“All right,” said Josie. “General Haslet, Captain Russ, I am putting you in charge of

the people who will be arriving in the next few minutes. They will need help for their

wounds and ills. Some of them might need a way to get back home. I expect you to

treat them better than your own families.”

“What are you going to do?,” asked Haslet.

“The organization that Shemmaria uses to procure their test subjects are marked,”

said Josie. “We marked the members so we could hunt them down.”

Josie changed into Zatanna. She carved the booster into the floor of the office,

surrounding everyone. She released her birds to do what they wanted to do. She

immediately lost the transformation. The sounds of small bangs filled the air outside

the office.

“What was that?,” demanded Hax. He looked around as more of the sounds filled the

air.

“People’s heads exploding,” said Russ.

“Open the door, Captain,” said Haslet.

Russ opened the door and stepped out of the way. She grimaced at the dead body in

a suit in the hall. She hoped it wasn’t anyone important.

“If I have to come back here,” said Josie. She stood behind the desk. “I am sure you

will understand the following event that will occur.”

A woman screamed out of sight down the hall. Footsteps ran as everyone sought

shelter after the mass murder.

“There are going to be helpless people appearing soon,” said Jack. “And they are

going to need your help. I think you should get started organizing for that.”

“We can use the courtyard outside this building,” said Haslet. “Russ, start gathering

troops to help us move these women.”

“General Haslet,” said Josie.

“Yes,” said the general. He held anger in his eyes.

“Some of the women and children will need healers,” said Josie.

“I will look after it,” said Haslet.

“Mister Hax,” said Josie. She folded her hands on the top of the desk. “I want you to

understand that if you don’t change your ways, your successor will have your office

in due time. Shemmaria could be a nation of the future that all others want to be like,

but not by creating monsters and setting them loose on your neighbors.”

Josie glanced at her watch. The diagram in the floor was speeding up the charging

process. She nodded. Soon enough she would have enough to clean up the bodies,

and bring any captives to the courtyard for General Haslet to protect.

“On the other hand, if you have a problem with a monster that you can’t handle,” said

Jack. “Send a message to the king of Grecious and we will look into it for you. If the

threat is dangerous enough, the Society will ask us to look into it like we have been

doing.”

“Why the King of Grecious?,” said Hax.

“Because he is going to be operating a charity for us,” said Josie. “Just like we hope

you will.”

Josie changed once more and sent out more birds. Bodies began disappearing from

all over the city. Women and girls appeared next to Haslet as he began issuing orders.

He frowned at the condition of the people being placed in his care.

“We will check on you in a few weeks,” said Josie. “Do us proud.”

“I could be considered a traitor for agreeing to anything without permission from the

Council,” said Hax. He looked at the two of them. “So could Haslet and Russ.”

“You don’t have a monarchy here?,” asked Jack.

“No,” said Hax. “The government is run by a council of officials in charge of their

departments.”

“When you report this,” said Josie. “Tell your Council I will be glad to come back

and do a repeat performance for them. You are my assistant now, Hax. If something

were to happen to you, or Haslet, or Russ, it would be bad for them. They won’t have

to worry about being invaded at the very least.”

“Also one of your projects involves a giant serpent,” said Jack. “We think he or she

might escape into the sewers under the city and start eating people.”

“You might want to make sure if you are trying to experiment with something like

that, it can’t escape, and it isn’t in the city,” said Josie. “We look forward to working

with you in the future, Mister Hax. Your help will allow us to protect the continent

and stop problems before they get out of hand.”

“Serpent?,” said Hax. “Oh no.”

He ran from the office.

“I think we can go now,” said Josie.

“Two to beam up, Enterprise,” said Jack into his com band.

Blue sparks carried them away.