Crimson Instinct

*Bai Li*

Xin Lei was messing up my heart.

That was the first time in five years that I laid my heart bare for someone. The feelings and fears that I wanted so badly to hide from everyone, I couldn't help but sharing everything with her. It felt as if an invisible force propelled me to confess the darkest time of my life.

I knew she didn't like me blaming myself, but now it was becoming automatic and instantaneous to assume that I was always at fault.

But when she suddenly placed her soft lips on mine, I went completely blank. For a long time, I was simply in denial that she was kissing me.

Was this really happening?

Was the woman I liked, kissing me right now?

She bit me hard, and before I knew it, the wall that I was unconsciously building to distance myself from her tumbled down, and I kissed her back.

And just as expected, she tasted like sweet candy. Just as I thought last night, our lips perfectly fit together.

God, it felt so crazy. I got addicted to it. It felt intoxicating that no drug in this world could possibly match up to it. Her scent made me delirious. Her touch ignited a strange fire within me, and suddenly, I felt hotter even than the Sahara desert.

When she actively hugged me with all her might, pulling me towards her, that was it for me.

I kissed her harder as I seemed to lose all my reasoning, and she responded with that same passion. She perfectly matched my pace. She perfectly kept up with me.

As I wrapped my tongue around hers, I wanted nothing more, but this moment never to end. I explored every corner of her mouth, and she did the same with me. There was only the sound of our drumming heartbeats and our tongues clashing against each other, echoing in the room.

Our bodies tightly pressed together gave me a sense of relief.

This wasn't a lie. This wasn't a dream.

Even though I thought I messed it up, even though I felt that I wasn't right for her anymore, I couldn't help but get selfish at this moment. I wanted to stay away from her, but her initiative to kiss me threw that notion into the sea.

I wanted nothing more but to feel her warmth. For how long we kept on going like that, we had no idea. It felt as if time had stopped. I kissed her again and again, and a strange feeling I never felt before, rushed through my blood. It coursed through my veins.

I never knew that kissing felt so damn good. I had no idea that it could be this satisfying and not just physically, but my whole anxious mental state seemed to calm down.

The way she tightly hung her arms over my shoulders expressed how she was desperate for me to realize that it was all in my head. I knew what she wanted to say to me, and I could sense her anger too as she was biting my lips hard as if trying to punish me.

I really liked this punishment, though.

I so cursed my luck for not able to see her face.

I felt it through her reactions, but I wanted to see it too how she looked pinned under me. I wanted to see with my eyes what effect my touch had on her. I wanted to gaze at her expression she was making right at this moment.

Our lips couldn't bear to be apart, but I wanted more. My hand automatically went down to her waist. Her skin felt so soft and tender. It was so warm and comfortable to touch. On my way down there, I had felt her slender neckline, and an urge rose within me to make my mark there.

Once again, we both were starting to get breathless.

The kiss was urgent. It was fierce, and with it, I felt all my worries washing away.

I slowly pulled back, and I sensed her resistance. I heard her taking short, rapid breaths, but even then, she was pushing me back towards her lips.

Damn, she was making it hard for me to choose!

Her lips again or her neck this time?

I quickly chose her neck before she pulled me again to make the choice herself. I traced her jawline with my thumb and placed a soft peck on it. I trailed the way it took me, kissing her neck unconstrained and uncontrollably.

I felt Xin Lei moving her face to the other side, giving me more access to go further and so I didn't stand on ceremony. I dug my teeth on the nape of her neck and sucked on it, feeling every ounce of pleasure building up in my stomach.

Xin Lei jolted with my bite, but I pressed her arm from shifting it sideways. I sensed her chest rapidly, heaving up and down.

Sucking and biting on her soft skin, I licked it over with my tongue, trying to ease that burning sensation. I did that in a few other spots tracing from the left side of her neck to the right. She was twitching in my embrace, but I didn't let her move. I felt a slight stinging pain as she clutched my hair harder, undoubtedly feeling the same pleasure like me, but that pain only intensified my need to have her more.

And I knew I had to stop. Otherwise, I would really not be able to stop myself.

There was an excitement that was making a certain member of mine grow hard, and I had to control myself before it was too late.

I went back to her face, and I sensed our lips hovering near each other. They were just slightly brushing on top. She released her hold over my neck, and only then I realized that her nails were digging in my skin all this time.

I felt her lips on me again, but this time, it was a soft peck. We just stayed like that for a moment before we withdrew.

She took my hand and moved my fingers.

'Bai Li. You will always be right for me. Don't say otherwise ever again.'