Crimson Instinct

*Xin Lei*

I had enough of Bai Li constantly blaming himself for all the problems. So this was the best way to make him stop.

Even I was surprised by myself when I kissed him. But it felt so natural. It was involuntary.

It was instinct.

I closed my eyes and pressed my lips even more, even further and even deeper.

I felt Bai Li go stiff. His arms on my waist didn't even move even a single inch. At that moment, he was as good as a log of wood.

Obviously, I knew he must be shocked as hell. His frigid body clearly expressed that. It was sudden. It was unexpected.

But I wanted to let him understand that nothing that he said was his fault.

Sometimes words don't do justice what physical intimacy can. It's easy to say, 'Don't blame yourself' or 'It isn't your fault.' But now I realized that not every time it worked. Words are not enough sometimes.

A touch, a gesture, a kiss, a hug, a simple intertwining of fingers can express a lot...lot more than anyone can imagine.

I kissed him because I wanted to ease his pain even if it's just a bit. I wanted all the negative thoughts from his mind to disappear. I wanted to make him feel good about himself once again. I wanted him to know that whether tough or vulnerable, I liked all his sides.

He was not a failure.

He was my Bai Li. Strong, tough, blunt, sarcastic, but who had the kindest heart out of everybody.

When he didn't react for a while, I parted my lips a little and bit his lower lip. I sunk my teeth in them to snap him out of his daze, and it worked.

He jolted. There was finally a crack in that frozen ice. And as it fully broke apart, Bai Li clutched the sides of my head and deepened the kiss. He lifted his torso, and in an instant, he pinned me beneath him.

I gasped.

The last thread of control finally snapped away.

His right hand caressed my cheek, and soon, we were on the same page as we both invaded each other's mouth. His lips on mine were so fierce as if he wanted to devour me whole.

They covered every inch of mine, and our lips fit so perfectly together, just like two pieces of a puzzle. I wrapped my hands around his head and pushed him towards me to feel his lips even harder, and I heard Bai Li let out a soft groan in response.

A tickling sensation bubbled in the pit of my stomach, which was growing stronger and stronger as our lips clashed against each other more and more.

I could see nothing else. I could hear nothing else.

I only felt my heart pounding like crazy, or was it Bai Li's? I didn't know.

I only felt our lips going wet with our contact. Bai Li tilted his head at just a slight angle, but that slight friction was enough to cloud my mind into a jumbled mess.

I half-opened my eyes to sneak a peek at him and saw his cheeks were colored in a rosy tint. I noticed how small I looked under his tall frame leaning on me. It was warm. It was safe. That sight alone made me giddy.

His fingers slowly brushed past my cheeks and made their way to my neckline. The path on my skin along which his fingers traced was burning as if lit on fire. My senses were in haywire.

Bai Li. You are not alone. I will never leave you alone, I made a promise to him and myself.

Then he suddenly bit my lip, and I couldn't help but take a sharp breath. And when he darted out his tongue, flicking it over my lips, I couldn't stop myself from digging my nails on his neck.

It was simply ecstatic. It felt as if a sudden gush of warmth invaded my every cell.

As if our feelings were in sync, we both parted away at the same time, not because we were done, but because I wanted to taste more of him, and I sensed the same need in him too.

We were kissing for a long time, so our chests were heaving up and down. We caught our breaths that were unsteady and haywire from our inseparable contact.

His warm breath fanned my face, and the temperature of my already hot cheeks rose immeasurably.

We both said nothing. I knew he couldn't see me, but the desire in his clouded gaze was so clear that I felt shy. Blushing, I looked away even though there was no need to.

The few moments of separation to catch our breaths were already making me feel restless.

I wanted more. I wanted him again.

As if he read my mind, Bai Li leaned in. Once again, he licked my lips and a jolt of current coursed through when he parted them and slowly dove inside my mouth.

Damn, it was unbelievable!

I never thought that a kiss could feel so pleasurable. The second his tongue entangled with mine, my brain short-circuited as if my whole system was shut down.

It was unbearable to resist, so I joined in for the fight over dominance. My lips against each his and his tongue against mine were in a fierce battle.

It felt so good. It was euphoric.

The feelings, the tension between us was finally breaking it's barriers.

Everything else felt so distant and meaningless. It was this moment whose every memory I was burning in my mind.

Our tongues swirled around each other, slurping the farthest we could in the other's mouth. At the same time, his fingers from my neckline delved further till it reached my chest and down my waist.

When he lifted my shirt, and his fingers made contact with my bare skin, it tickled, and I tightened my grip on his shirt as it wrinkled.

I gasped in his mouth as he put his palm on my waist. I jolted, making my breasts press even closer to his chest. I felt him slightly shudder, and he kept on pushing his tongue inside me more, claiming my mouth over and over again.

How long had time already passed…I had no idea.

But at this very moment, I only wanted this kiss to last forever...