Became an Academy Spearman

883. [Western Front] – Severe trials (158)

***

Again.

Jerk.

As I walked through the First Fortress, I was now familiarly following Aide Meryl.

It might be annoying to have to guide me to the training room every time.

She was kindly guiding me without any hint of such.

And I am.

I walked harder today than on the first day.

Even though I knew the training would be difficult, the moments when I felt excited and excited seemed like a lie.

“… … .”

I felt like I was being taken to prison, like a condemned criminal.

‘Although Anastasia won’t change her attitude to the point of becoming hostile toward me.’

I could never forget those emotionless eyes she looked at me yesterday.

I feel like I made a huge mistake.

“Lieutenant Han Tiansheng. “Your complexion doesn’t look good today. Did you have trouble sleeping?”

“… … no. “It’s not like that.”

“But why are you so weak?”

“Ahaha… … “Is that what my face looks like now?”

“sure. “You seem to have less strength today than yesterday. Well, I heard that the major is helping you with your training. I guess it’s very difficult.”

“Yeah, that’s a little…” … .”

I just smiled awkwardly at Aide Merrill’s kind interest.

Of course, I barely got any sleep, but my body had largely recovered after the night.

My condition wasn’t that bad right away.

“Anyway, cheer up. “The major must be thinking of Second Lieutenant Han Cheon-seong and teaching him more strictly.”

“… “I understand.”

“Still, it’s nice to see something. Honestly, isn’t it nice to practice with a person you like? Spending time together, having a sweet relationship on the front line, and relying on each other, also being hot… … . “Oh, I guess I made a mistake.”

While he was speaking kindly, he looked at me darkly, wondering what on earth he was imagining, and all I could do was laugh out loud.

‘This is what Anastasia and I look like on the outside.’

And I felt it again.

How different is reality from external perspectives?

In reality, let alone that she and I are lovers, the reality is that I am afraid to even face Anastasia today because I made a big mistake yesterday.

I couldn’t show it outwardly.

… … .

Aide Merrill, who guided me back to the training room, quickly left.

Then I took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

“… … Major Anastasia. “I’m going in.”

-Come in.

I was momentarily shaken by the voice that sounded even more indifferent, but I soon composed myself and opened the door.

‘You can’t avoid it.’

Even if I had to offer her a sincere apology again, I had to restore this relationship.

The hand holding the steel door was imbued with mana, and when I opened the door with strength, I could see the inside.

The sight of her sitting calmly in one corner of the training room.

Jerk. Coo!

The sound of the door closing as we entered inside was particularly loud today.

… … The moment I entered, it felt like I couldn’t leave this space.

Afterwards, my heart was pounding loudly as I cautiously approached Anastasia.

Excited.

Excited.

In addition to being nervous, it was quite difficult to even make eye contact with her.

And I felt it.

Anastasia is the same as yesterday.

“… … .”

Her gaze as she stared at me was noticeably colder.

It felt like he was looking at me emotionlessly and trying to draw a line.

Internal intimacy before.

That the moment of being together and having a somewhat comfortable conversation ended yesterday due to my mistake.

When she got closer than a certain distance, she suddenly opened her mouth.

“Lieutenant Han Tiansheng.”

“… yes. Major Anastasia.”

Without realizing it, the voice that answered gave me strength. The moment I relaxed even a little, it felt like my relationship with Anastasia would end completely.

“Before we start training today, I’d like to have a chat, is that okay?”

“it’s okay.”

“Then sit next to me.”

She naturally glanced at the seat next to her, and I was startled by even the slightest sight.

To me, that glance felt like a death sentence.

Jerk. That… .

As I sat down next to her with a creaky step in between, even breathing felt very heavy.

“I don’t want to criticize you for your actions yesterday. “I know you’re that tired, and I didn’t mean to act that way.”

Hearing her calm voice, I carefully made eye contact and nodded.

“Well, if you understand that way, I would just be grateful.”

It was definitely an accident when I kissed her cheek.

For me and for her too.

“So I’ll check again, was that ‘action’ really a mistake?”

Those blunt words made me calm down for a moment.

‘You can never make a mistake.’

There should not have been the slightest hesitation in explaining. I had to tell the truth as it was and completely understand that yesterday’s situation was an accident.

“I want to tell you properly about yesterday’s situation. “Rather than a mistake, I think it’s fundamentally different.”

“Fundamentally different? “How is it different?”

As I faced her, who was looking at me with an extremely serious gaze, I also made proper eye contact with her.

“Apart from the hard work I put into my body through yesterday’s training, I suddenly saw a completely different scene. “You may have a hard time understanding my explanation, but I suddenly saw a city engulfed in flames.”

“… … .”

Seeing her with her eyes blurred unconsciously, I continued speaking again.

“The city was engulfed in flames, and the screams of countless people could be vividly heard. It was so vivid that for a moment I felt the situation was real.”

“To put it simply, are you saying you were hallucinating?”

“You could say it was a hallucination, but I don’t think it was a hallucination. “In fact, I thought about it all night, but I concluded that the experience at that moment was ‘Erosion of Eustea.’”

“… … corrosion.”

Looking at Anastasia, who seemed very surprised for a moment, my mind was set straight.

I was no longer afraid of facing Anastasia.

It was only when she gave me a chance to explain, rather than rejecting me or keeping my distance, that my heart was finally set straight.

“yes. I think we’ve experienced erosion. so… … I think I made a mistake yesterday that I should never have made. Because I only indirectly recalled the experience that Eustea must have had, I lost my sense of reality. “It was a completely different experience from recalling memories.”

In fact, I thought that if this wasn’t erosion, it couldn’t be explained at all.

To begin with, my mind is not weak or shaken enough to hear hallucinations or auditory hallucinations. At least I was confident in my mental abilities.

I saw a completely different scene, to the point where I even forgot the sense of reality.

“… … .”

I waited quietly after seeing Anastasia who suddenly lost her voice.

I revealed the truth about yesterday’s situation as I judged, and it was entirely up to Anastasia whether she would understand me and treat me as before.

‘And if it’s Anastasia.’

I thought you would understand me well.

Even though she looks very cold on the outside, she is not a cold person at heart.

And he was the one who first informed me about the dangers of erosion.

As I expected, before long she opened her mouth.

“I told you about… … “I guess I misunderstood.”

“Do you understand?”

“I understood you from the beginning. I know you’re not the kind of person who would suddenly do something like that to me. Still, I asked to understand the situation more specifically. But if that was the case… … “I guess it was wrong for me to get angry yesterday.”

“No, I think it’s okay for you to be angry with me yesterday. Even if it were me, if it were the opposite situation… … .”

As I continued speaking, I was momentarily speechless.

‘If the opposite situation had happened, would I really have been angry?’

That thought confused me for a moment.

“Then I won’t mention anything more about yesterday. “I have to see it as a pure accident, so I won’t distance myself from you for no reason.”

“… … yes.”

Even as I answered, I felt dizzy.

I had never thought of the opposite situation, but when I thought about it, it felt so strange to suddenly make eye contact with Anastasia.

“So, can you explain in detail? Not the sight you saw yesterday after the erosion, but how you felt at that moment. If I understand that, maybe I can help you.”

“yes. Now explaining… … “I will give it to you.”

Even as she paused and opened her mouth, I could see that Anastasia’s gaze on me had changed.

Her eyes went from being emotionless or cold, trying not to show her emotions, to now looking a little worried.

… … however.

Strangely enough, I found it more difficult to meet her cold eyes.

***

ㅡErosion of Eustea.

Anastasia suddenly understood what Cheonseong said, but felt a great shock.

“… … .”

The situation was much more complicated than I thought and I might have to take it more seriously.

‘It wasn’t just because I was tired.’

Even if he was exhausted, there was no way Han Tiansheng would make such a ridiculous mistake.

What I heard afterwards was concise, but the content itself was easy to understand.

“… … “That’s all the explanation I can give.”

Looking at Han Tiansheng who carefully finished speaking, I was momentarily speechless.

The situation that appeared to be Eustea’s experience felt so great that it was mistaken for reality. She responded that it disrupted her senses and that she was unable to control her body.

So, when he regained consciousness, he was shocked and apologized.

“Is this the first time that we can see Eustea’s erosion?”

“Actually, the past… … I think there were some parts that felt like an erosion of Eustea. But I think this time it felt more clear to me.”

In response to his cautious response, I tried to figure out one thing more than anything else.

‘What causes erosion?’

Among the records of the main axis in the past, there were few records that described its erosion in detail. It only states what the ending was for the main players whose memories were passed down.

However, there was something I vaguely guessed from Han Cheon-seong’s explanation.

“… … “Han Cheon-seong.”

“yes. “Tell me.”

“I think facing limitations will lead to the erosion of Eustea.”

“Facing limits… … Are you saying that it is a direct cause of erosion?”

Looking at Han Tiansheng who asked more specifically, he nodded cautiously.

“I’m not sure. But when I think about why the transmission of memory causes erosion, I think there is no other reason than that.”

The power of the trait was still shrouded in many mysteries.

As adults, everyone receives characteristics from the world and tries to grow in characteristics similar to their own personality.

And although there may be many reasons for the growth, it ultimately boils down to growing the ‘mind’.

“… … .”

While watching Han Tiansheng, who seemed to be lost in thought, I thought that there was only one source of erosion.

Someone from a later generation inherits the strong power that someone once gained.

Passing down even those memories can be seen as a way to inherit more perfect power.

However, as a side effect, the memories of the person who originally possessed the power were passed down, and the fact that Han Tiansheng vividly remembered his experience yesterday meant only one thing.

ㅡA fairy tale of the heart.

To put it another way, it would be ‘erosion’ for the same experience he experienced to be passed on to Han Cheon-seong.

“The city you saw engulfed in flames and the many screams echoing vividly must have been a huge crisis for Eustea.”

I also knew because I am now the main axis of the empire.

The weight I carry.

As a key player, there is enormous pressure on the people I have to protect.

“… “It’s a crisis.”

Seeing that he seemed to understand something, I continued speaking cautiously.

“Facing limitations will soon create a gap in your heart. And I think the gap in my heart was what reminded me of Eustea’s experience.”

In order for your characteristics to become stronger, your mind must grow.

And growing your mind is like ‘facing a crisis.’

A carefree life.

Because in a life without crisis, the mind cannot grow much.

And Han Tiansheng must have faced greater limitations yesterday than on the first day. He used the opening and the power of the giant spiral, pushing himself to the limit and taxing his body as well.

No matter how strong your mind was, it was bound to follow the body.

“Does that mean I shouldn’t practice?”

Looking at Han Tiansheng who asked blankly, he carefully shook his head.

“No, the more you do that, the more you will have to practice.”

You can only grow by facing your own limitations, which will inevitably result in facing the erosion of Eustea.

But overcoming it,

Because it will be entirely Han Cheon-seong’s responsibility.

In ancient records, the being who was evaluated as the strongest among all the main axes was Shinchang Eustea.

If he cannot overcome his erosion, Han Tiansheng will have no future anyway.

In fact, the reason why several key players who tried to stop erosion in the past chose to kill themselves.

That was because their hearts continued to weaken. Trying to avoid erosion ironically weakens their hearts even further.

But I couldn’t bear to say this right away.

This would be subjecting him to a harsh ordeal that no other main character has ever been able to overcome.

“So what you’re saying is that I have to overcome Eustea’s erosion by facing more limitations.”

However, Han Tiansheng was talking with a smile.

“… … that’s right.”

Even if I don’t have to say it.

As if you have already found the answer yourself… … .