Became an Academy Spearman

884. [Western Front] – Being different (159)

***

It was heavenly luck.

I truly thought so.

The fact that I came to the Western Front was truly a stroke of luck for me.

“… “Could it be more appropriate to say that a crisis is an opportunity?”

From the conversation with Anastasia in the morning to the training that followed, everything went better than I expected.

The path is clear,

Because I know that I just have to move forward on that path.

So now my mind was just as transparent as the clear water of a lake.

Shoot… … !

Even as I was hit by a pouring stream of hot water, laughter leaked out. I had just returned from a mission to execute an apostle and was taking a shower, and there was not even the slightest delusion in my mind.

Just as all the dirt on my body was completely washed away while going to the front, my mind was also becoming cleaner.

Slurp!

I nodded while caressing my wet face once.

“You can just do it like you did before.”

There is no need to think so hard or have vague fears.

Yes, just like I have always done.

As I have continuously faced this reality, I just have to act the same way as I have done so far.

“… … “I just need to face more limitations.”

Rather, the moment I avoid facing limitations, my heart will become weaker.

So I was grateful that Anastasia told me that it was an ordeal.

It was probably difficult for her to say.

The reality is that we often face difficult trials and must overcome them all.

Normally, I would have tried to talk back or delay, but Anastasia gave me the answer straight away.

“Whoa.”

Even my vision seemed distorted by the water pouring through my wet hair. It was as if my future was unclear, and even the reality on my retina was unclear.

As if this is my future.

But I wasn’t that scared.

“… … .”

Even as I kept my lips tightly shut, a power that even I could not understand seemed to be welling up in my heart.

It was strange to even specifically call it ‘power’.

That’s just how I felt.

My mind seemed to accept it, asking why I was having such a hard time thinking about it and why I was already afraid and trying to get scared.

‘In the first place… … .’

It felt as if every moment of life in this world was asking me whether it was a series of trials.

And that was the truth.

Whenever I overcome one ordeal, another ordeal appears before me.

And as soon as I grew greatly through that ordeal, I had to look forward to further growth.

If you ask me if I had time to rest, I don’t even know.

When was the last time you rested comfortably? How many times did you spend the day transparently without any worries?

however… … I have already adapted to that kind of life.

Fight! Tuk!

As I surrendered my body to the pouring water, a strange smile escaped me.

“I’m really abnormal.”

Others want to rest,

You want your body to be comfortable.

It was a natural instinct.

Since we are human, it is natural to want to avoid difficult and arduous situations.

Even my situation was like that right now.

The erosion of Eustea that I was concerned about is about to hit me in earnest, and I am actually very aware of the sense of crisis regarding erosion.

Because when I experienced erosion, I couldn’t even control my body properly.

Slurp!

As I roughly brushed my hair, I became aware of many facts one by one.

However, because I was such an ‘abnormal’ person, I was able to face this reality without being discouraged.

“Then why on earth am I like this?”

Suddenly, my thoughts continued.

To simply dismiss my attitude as ‘strength of mind’, it felt more abnormal than that.

Just because I am myself, the trials I have faced so far have not been difficult.

It’s not that I can’t feel pain in painful situations.

Strangely enough, my heart rarely broke. Even if I had a broken heart in the past, I quickly recovered and faced reality easily.

Even this reality was like that.

Among the heroes who were called the mainstay of the empire in the past, there were people like me who continued the ‘tradition through memory’.

They suffered erosion due to the transmission of memory, and at the end of it, they chose their own death. He may have done so because he thought he could pose a threat to the beings he was supposed to protect.

“… … .”

Exhaling slightly, I now understand their thoughts.

‘Because I’ve experienced erosion.’

The vividness I felt at the moment of erosion was not an experience that could simply be dismissed as not mine.

That was ‘reality’.

Because the city I saw engulfed in a huge fire, the space where countless screams echoed, couldn’t be a lie.

As I thought about that, my thoughts continued endlessly.

Shoot… … !

Only the white noise of the pouring water filled my ears.

“ah.”

Suddenly I seemed to see a clear answer.

Why doesn’t my heart break even though I know my future and the trials I will face?

“… … under.”

That was such an easy answer that many people came to mind as I smiled.

In this world, the faces of countless people with whom I have formed deep relationships pass before my eyes.

My relationship with them could not be considered a light relationship.

I started with Glesia, then Kali and Miliana Karite, and I have built countless relationships with many people since then.

Crucially, I promised a future with them.

By facing this reality more proudly, I will raise my value to a level that cannot be compared to what it was then.

The more I have a relationship with them, the more I will hold them all in my arms from a higher position.

“It was a really easy answer.”

If you think about it, there was no reason to worry so much.

Because this reality I chose is more precious to me than the weight I carry.

It is difficult to overcome the weight that must be carried.

Because I want to have more of the reality I chose.

That’s why I tried harder too.

I didn’t want to train to the point of straining my body and face trials because someone forced me or told me to do it.

That’s what my heart wanted.

“Yes, I have to.”

And only by doing that can I look forward to the future with those I have a relationship with.

Tuk.

As the magic stone that was pouring out hot water stopped working, my mind became even clearer.

While I was idly wiping my body, I saw a body I had never imagined before.

Hard training.

Numerous trials.

By overcoming all that and growing, my body was naturally forming into an ideal body.

As I looked at my body, it seemed like a trace of growth, and it soon occurred to me.

The fundamental reason why I can be so calm about Eustea’s erosion.

“More than anything, Eustea is different from me.”

The path Eustea chose.

And the path I chose.

Same yet different.

He was shunned by the empire and faced the deaths of numerous colleagues. And he was repeatedly forced into harsh missions, almost as if he had been abandoned.

It wasn’t something he had done wrong in Eustea’s memory.

He was decidedly clumsy.

Treating someone else.

By accepting the death of his colleague, he chose to close his heart to others.

So Eustea tried to fight alone until the end.

Demonstrating a will that I dare not guess, he attempted to block the original apostle by himself.

There was a bloody battle for several days and nights with the original apostle who had already reached godlike status.

In this world, only I knew that.

Inheriting his characteristics.

I am the only one who carries on his memory.

“… … therefore. “I guess I should choose a different path.”

I didn’t think Eustea was wrong.

I just think that the circumstances and times he was in were very unfortunate.

The more I remembered and learned more, the more I could understand Eustea’s life to some extent.

There was no one he could truly rely on.

The person who tried to relieve him of the absurd burden he had to bear was killed.

Because he was so powerful, the imperial family was suspicious and wary of him.

however.

I am different from him now.

In that respect, I could say it was overwhelmingly different.

There were many people by my side now who I could rely on and trust.

It’s not just one person, there’s always someone who will listen when I talk, and even from a distance, I can think of them and make up my mind.

So… … .

Sreuk.

As I gently clenched my hands, even greater strength filled my heart.

“How could I break down?”

No matter how great the ordeal was, I had already reached a point where I couldn’t break my heart.

That was the biggest difference between me and Eustea.

Even though I don’t know whether I will be able to reach the unprecedented level that Eustea reached in the future or not.

The ending he faced and the ending I faced would be completely different.

‘Because there is hope.’

Now, even fate that originally had no great hope for Anastasia has been twisted.

Brilliant hope existed everywhere.