A Murder Wizards Adventure

It doesn't take long for the rest to show up, first to come was, funnily enough, Hawk, or rather Shiori Fujii, she has brown hair to her shoulders and green eyes with a serious personality, she also has a scar on her cheek too.

Which is why I am a man, slightly taller than her at around 178cm (or 5'10) with brown hair a bit shorter than hers but the same shade, with green eyes and a playful personality to contrast with hers, I even got a matching scar on my opposite cheek, just to rub it in extra hard. Also, I go by Han when I'm like this, since it's close enough to Hana that mistakes can be ignored.

"Nee-chan!! You finally made it! You know your Onii-sama will get lonely if you take so long to show up!"

Shiori doesn't even dignify me with a response, instead we both just walk in to get a booth and order some booze, though I get some juice, telling the barkeep that I need to stay sober to stop my lil sis from propositioning every man she sees.

"Why are you the way that you are Han?"

"What do you mean? I'm just looking out for my dear little sis?"

"I hate you, so much."

Not long after we sit down the rest of Shiori's' squad shows up.

Horses real name is Tetsuya Katō and he is built like a tank and has a face full of scars, standing at an impressive 185cm (6'1") he is the kind of guy that would give a baby nightmares.

Goat is Yōichi Satō and has black hair with a lean build that most shinobi have, he is only 171cm (or 5'7) and has a lazy smile.

Dove is Kōichi Sasaki and stands at an average 174cm (or 5'8) with blond hair, blue eyes and a friendly smile, really, he is a typical aryan.

Horse greets us while Koichi goes to the bar for some more drinks and Yoichi sits by Shiori and immediately starts giving her bedroom eyes, it's mostly a joke, but Yoichi has been trying to get into Shiori's pants for years now without any success.

"I see my favourite sibling pair were the first to arrive."

"Isn't it amazing! A woman was ready before all of you."

That comment gets a laugh out of Horse, Tetsuya, and a kick under the table from Shiori.

Real mature there sis.

Koichi comes back with a tray full of drinks as the rest of the party arrive at once.

First is Mantis and Fox.

Mantis is called Yūkichi Yoshida and looks so average, you subconsciously let your eyes drift past him, black hair, average looks, average height, really nothing sticks out, which contrasts sharply to Fox, Kaito Uzumaki, with his bright red hair that goes down to his shoulder blades, making his the longest hair, he has dee amethyst eyes and a rather indifferent facial expression.

Then there are the birds.

Raven is Tatsuya Kikuchi, standing at an impressive 183cm (or 6') tall with black hair and a mean smirk, a scar over his right eye just makes him look even meaner.

Crow is Jun Tamura, blond hair, 180cm (or 5'11) tall and a mean look with a scar over his lip.

I'm pretty sure these guys specialise in information extraction, so the matching looks make sense, except for Sparrow, who doesn't look so mean.

His name is Jack, which is a strange name here, but I'm pretty sure there's a guy called Might Duy, so it's not that big a deal, he is 180cm (or 5'11) and has a relaxed smile and unfocused gaze and a cross shaped scar on upper cheek.

Koichi greets them as he puts ten drinks on the table, none of which aren't alcoholic which gives me a somewhat foreboding feeling as there are only ten of us.

"Just in time! I figured you'd be here soon, so I got everyone drinks"

Mantis, 𝘠𝘶𝘬𝘪, speaks up before I do.

"You planning on getting my captain drunk Ko?"

"Haha! Of course! It's a big day! I think he should let lose for once, I mean we all know the saying, old enough to kill-"

"""Old enough to drink/fuck!"""

"Ey! who said fuck?"

Raven turns to me with his mean smirk all but glowing.

"What? Can't get it up?"

"Obviously not you fuckwit, did your mother never teach you about the birds and the bees? Do we need to have 'the talk'?"

With the Ice thoroughly broken, we start to drink and break of into separate conversations, though it doesn't take long before Tatsu manages to rope us all into some drinking games.

Which is to say we started playing what is basically spin the bottle, if you don't do your dare then you have to take a shot, and since the aim of the game is to get each other as plastered as possible, everyone was trying to give dares that you would refuse.

Like when Jun dared Kaito to jump on the bar counter and show everyone if the curtains match the drapes, naturally he was far too sober to do that and took the shot.

We're all a few shots in when the bottle lands on me again after Shiori spun it. Damn.

"Alright asshole, you godda go over there, as a woman, n' make out wit one of 'em."

You bitch.

I look where she was pointing across the bar and notice that the group, she is pointing at actually has two women, who I don't think Shiori saw.

Awesome, I would have taken a shot over making out with a dude.

"Fine 'en, watch me."

The others are either drunkenly giggling or hooting at me as I Quickly dip outside and change my henge into a twin of Shiori. Heh.

Walking back in with a sway to my hips, it takes a moment for me to spot the group, thanks to the shots no doubt, but I saunter over and plant my ass on the table in between the two women making the table of five look at me, or my ass in the case of the men.

"Which of the one of yuz wants ta make out? I gotta win a bet."

The two girls look at each other before one of them shrugs, and scoots her chair out a little and pats her legs in invitation, causing the guys present to hoot and holler as I slide into her lap, straddling her and bring my face closer to hers until I can capture her lips with my own.

I ignore the sound of the bar as I close my eyes and enjoy my dare, her mouth is warm and as our tongues fight for domination, I actually seem to be winning, making her moan in my mouth.

Eventually we have to break off to breathe and when we do, a trail of saliva connecting our mouths, I see lust in her eyes and lean in real close to whisper into her ears.

"Come see me after I've had a few more shots."

Then I get up with a wink at her blushing face and walk back to my table with a sway in my hips, and I use a little misdirection to retake my place and henge without anyone outside of my table noticing.

I truly am a good wingman.

"There, my turn."

"You motherfuck'r you stole my face!"

"Yeah and got some woman horny for yuz, 'sides, shoulda been more specific! Now! My turn."

I spin the bottle and it lands on Jun.

"I dare yuz ta do a shot hehhehe."

Do you get it? 

If he doesn't do a shot, then he has to take a shot!

Hahahaha he has no choice but to drink!

I am a genius!

HAHAHahahahAHAHa.

*cough**cough*

"OI!! Han!"

Huh?

"Tatsu dared you ta go stand on that table n sing something."

It's my turn again? Already?

How long was I laughing for?

"I don't know, like, ten minutes?"

I said that out loud?

"Yeah. Now go sing!"

Eh. why not.

I jump up onto the table in the middle of the room and start tapping my foot on the table in a bad rhythm.

"~The sun 's shining in the sky!~

~There ain't a cloud in siiight!~..."

After my amazing solo, why else would they give me free food?

Well, now we've had some more drinks and it's Goat, Yoichi's turn to dare Jack.

"Alri' den, I dare youu.. To pain' the 'kage monument!"

"Do ya doubt me? Then come! Let us go!"

Huh? We're going somewhere now?

I exchange a look with Koichi and we both shrug and grab a few bottles of booxe for the road, along with tetsu, but I don't think he's gonna share.

It takes as long as it took me to blink for us to stumble our way to the Hokage monument, oh and it's night night now, the sun isn't shining in the sky.

I'm a liar.

Where did Jack go?

"Where did Jack go?"

"Hey, that's what I said!"

"No it's not, I said that."

What do you mean, are you deaf?

OI!! Why are you ignoring me!

"Oh right, I forgot to use words."

"What? For what?"

"Huh?"

"What?"

"Where's Jack?"

*Bang* *Bang* *Scream* *Splash*

Huh?

Looking at the Hokage monument, I see that it has become a colourful rainbow, it's better like this but why did it change?

"Did evryone see that!? Because I will not, be doing it again!"

Oh yeah, it was Jacks dare.

"Well i's your turn now Jack."

Way to keep on the ball Kaito, you're always so serious.

"Oi, I dun 'ave a bottle ta spin."

"Don'cha worry, I gotchu."

Saying so, Tetsu proceeds to grab a full bottle, despite previously drinking from a half full one, and downs the whole thing while we watch, enamoured.

"'ere"

Jack just shrugs and puts the bottle down as we huddle around, wait where is Shiori?

Oh yeah, she took that woman home, I truly am the greatest wingman to ever wing... what?

...

Anyway, we're collecting cats now, I don't remember why, I think it had something to do with Kaito's dare, but I'm not sure.

After grabbing all the cats we could find, though why we had to go inside to get them I don't understand.

But we give Kaito the bag full of loud cats annoying cats.

He just takes them with a grunt and a nod and leaves.

The fourteen of us, wait no, the seven of us just look at each other.

Is he coming back?

"Are we s'posed to wait for him or somin'?"

"I'unno, was there more of us bef'r?"

"Who knows, th'r was more booze tho' we shuld get more."

Seeing as we are all in agreement, the seven of us set of in search for alcohol.

...

"A'rght Hana, I d're you, to break inta the 'kage's house n shit on his pillow."

""Hahahahaha.""

"Wha', y'th'nk 'm a pussy? Bet."

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A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!

so, what do you get when you mix broken, unstable crazy murderers and a shit tonne of alcohol?

Also I should be able to keep my upload shedule steady thanks to another genoures donation by 44Kane for data, so everyone thank him!

https://ko-fi.com/bored_works