A Murder Wizards Adventure

The announcement came as a shock, it was just a normal morning, I'd just gotten up and was having breakfast with my family on one of my rare days off.

It's been about half a year since we went to the little carnival together, making me ten whole years of age, finally hitting the double digits!

My missions these days have mostly been patrols, either inside the village or just inside the border, rather than destroying or killing anything, we've mostly just been touring our own country.

Honestly, it's a kind of boredom that I would typically resent, but it has given me plenty of time to focus on my many projects, I can only make my cards sharp or explosive for now, and my other projects are still secret, though one of them I feel is really close to fruition, which I'm looking forward to.

Anyway, today a Genin was knocking on our door this morning and he said that the Hokage is making an announcement at noon and that we should show up because it will be important.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out the war is ending, or maybe I'm wrong and it's something else, but since Hiruzen didn't even do an announcement about the destruction of Uzu, I highly doubt it.

Plus, I already knew that the war had become unsustainable, and as someone who's job is rather involved with the war, it does explain why I've not been sent to destroy or kill anything recently, despite having a pretty good track record for destroying and killing.

Wait, now that I think about it, have I ever technically failed a mission?

I don't think so, and I've been on like 150 or more missions, since without complications we get around a mission every week, with each mission lasting from a day to a week, without complications, so we actually work a fairly normal set of hours, which I didn't think about until now.

What was I thinking about?

Oh right, Hokage announcement.

It's either the end of the war or a new Hokage, and since Hiruzen is like forty or something, I doubt that I've only been around him a handful of times, but the guy is a monster and even ignoring what little I know of canon, I don't see him retiring anytime soon.

Anyway, my parents are excited about this, which means Kizashi is also excited, which means I have to make sure he doesn't trip over his own feet as he runs ahead because he's a big boy now and doesn't need to hold mummy's hand anymore.

Can you feel my sarcastic intent?

Catching Kizashi as he trips over another rock and continues to run, ignoring the fact that he nearly just faceplanted, eventually we come across a crowd in front of the Hokage tower, and against my deepest prayers, Kizashi doesn't then stop, instead he starts squeezing between peoples' legs to get even closer.

I chase after him, not wanting to lose him in the crowd, and using the fact that I am actually trained and he is three, I catch up to him and pick him up in a hug.

"Where are you going you little shit?"

He turns to face me with a big smile on his face and waves his arms around excitedly as he talks, hitting the people next to us who pretend not to be eavesdropping.

"I wanna get a spot so I can see what happening!"

"You realise the Hokage is going to be all the way up there, you won't get a better view by being closer."

Kizashi follows my finger and cranes his neck up to look at the top of the tower.

"So high!"

Seeing that he might not get a good view of the announcement, Kizashi's eyes start to water, and he looks at me with hope.

*Sigh*

"Come on, let's get ourselves a good spot."

Saying so, I put Kizashi on my shoulders and ignored his delighted squeals as I then jumped up to the nearest rooftop.

Turns out, the surrounding rooftops are rather crowded with other shinobi, ANBU included though I don't head over, even though I do recognise some of them, after all that would be rather exposing for my identity, at least I'm tall enough now that no one is really going to question me being able to jump to the rooftops.

Thankfully Kizashi has been taught to respect shinobi and not bother them, so he stays relatively quiet instead of talking to the people around us like I half thought he would.

After a bit more waiting, the Hokage finally makes his appearance, causing the crowd to go wild, dude really is popular.

Hiruzen calms the crowd down after some smiling and waving before he starts speaking, somehow projecting his voice to carry over everyone without being louder for those closest, probably with chakra. What am I saying probably? He clearly used chakra, since we don't have microphones yet.

"People of Konoha! I know you have all been experiencing difficult times as of late, but today! Today I bring grand news! Today I call an end to this barbaric war! No more, will your family have to fight just to keep you safe! No more, will you have to fight these invaders! No more, will we be at war! Today! I declare Konoha to be at peace!"

With his words the crowd goes even wilder than before, Kizashi doesn't really understand what everyone is so excited about but he's just happy to be involved.

I see shinobi crying and hugging each other and even some of the ANBU look relieved, though a few of them look noticeably disappointed with this development.

Myself, I am somewhat pleased that the war is finally ending, it is rather hectic being at war, and I would like more time for my projects and more importantly I want to do some proper infiltration missions, not just 'go there and break shit'.

The rest of the speech was mostly boring flowery language that could be surmised to 'We definitely didn't start the war. We are the good guys who wanted the war to end. They wanted to keep fighting but we convinced them of peace. Now we are all totally best friends.'

Really, we did start the war and the only reason we are now at peace is because none of us have the resources left to continue fighting, also we aren't at peace, we are just no longer at war. A cease fire, if you will.

Before the speech was even over Kizashi was already bored and half asleep so, since I didn't really care for speeches, I decide to leave and look for something to eat.

So, with Kizashi still on my shoulders I start jumping roofs looking or rather, following my nose for some food, since not everyone came to the announcement, not like they need to, I imagine the gossip wheel will work fast enough that everyone will know by tomorrow.

Eventually I could smell something tasty on the wind, cartoon style, I follow my nose and end up in front of a small stall called 'Ramen Ichiraku', so a new ramen place, I guess? I could go for some ramen, and it 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 smell good.

Opening the flaps and ducking as I enter so as to not hit Kizashi on the doorframe, I'm greeted by a small, empty stall with an empty counter and the smell of good ramen coming from the back.

I take a seat on one of the counters stalls and set Kizashi on the stall next to me.

"Hello! Anyone home!?"

"I'll be with you in a minute!"

True to his word, the presumed owner arrives shortly.

He is a young man probably less than a decade older than me, with a strong jaw and a square-like face and a perpetual smile that causes his eyes to squint almost shut, with black hair mostly hidden under his chef's hat.

"Hello! My name is Teuchi and welcome to Ramen Ichiraku, what can I get my first costumers?"

"Your first costumers? In that case I will have your specialty, what about you, Kiza-kun?"

"Me too! Me too!"

"Alright then! Two Miso ramen with char siu and boiled eggs coming up!"

Saying so, Teuchi heads to the back to start preparing our meals while Kizashi talks about whatever it is he talks about while I just nod my head and say 'woah' every now and then until my attention is stolen away by a wonderful scent.

Turning to behind the counter, I see Teuchi returning with two bowls of ramen in his hands.

"Two bowls of miso ramen, served with a topping of char siu and boiled eggs."

""Itadakimasu!""

Digging in I am introduced to the tastiest ramen that I have ever eaten. I still prefer sweets and cakes, but this is definitely the best ramen I've ever had.

Quickly slurping down my ramen, I see that Kizashi still has half his bowl and turn to Teuchi.

"So Teuchi-san, didn't feel like going to the Hokage's announcement?"

He jumps a little at suddenly being addressed from where he was, making more noodles, before responding, still focused on his noodles.

"Ah, well, I figured if the Hokage is making an announcement, then a lot of people will be wanting to eat out, either to celebrate or mourn, depending on the announcement, and with so many costumers, I don't doubt I'll hear what it was about soon enough, that is, if I actually do get a lot of costumers."

"Don't worry Teuchi-san, your ramen is great, you will be full of costumers by the end of the day for sure."

"That's nice of you to say kid, though I wonder, how come you aren't at the announcement?"

"I was, then it got boring, speeches are like that, so we decided to leave and look for some food."

"Well, that's fair enough I suppose."

After that we lapsed into silence as we waited for Kizashi to finish his meal, which doesn't take too long.

"Ahhh, that was the best ramen ever!!!"

"Aha, thank you, little guy, a happy costumer is a happy day!"

He says that but Kizashi was already ignoring him and looking around instead. Kids.

With a shake of my head, I address Kizashi one last time.

"Thank you for the food, Teuchi-san, I'll be sure to spread word to my friends about your place."

"That is most kind of you, have a good day!"

With a wave over the back of my head, I leave, once more carrying Kizashi on my shoulders, like I'm some kind of pack mule.

Now, what to do, what to do, I suppose I should leave Kiza with our parents, because I have the feeling that my friends will want to go and celebrate in some form of child unfriendly manner.

Plan decided, I head back to the Hokage tower, where Hiruzens speech is still going strong and somehow the civilians aren't looking bored out of their minds, I note that a few of the regular shinobi have already left and I can't spot a single ANBU around anymore.

Finding my parents chakra signals wasn't very difficult, since I live with them, I am rather accustomed to it by now.

"Hey mum, dad, here, take Kiza-kun would you? I gotta go see some friends, also I might not be back home today, or I'll just be late."

"Ah! There you two are, we had wondered where you'd gone off too, and sure honey, you go have fun!"

"See ya."

Now I head to ANBU HQ, since that is most likely where they will be gathering before they head out, and in one of the lounge rooms that we frequent I do find most of my friends and friendly acquaintances, there is Hawk and her squad, Horse, Goat and Dove, there is also Mantis and Fox and even the recent additions, Raven, Crow and Sparrow, who I befriended of the sky mission via our shared belief that we will never lose a gamble.

"and he finally shows up! what, were you too busy getting your diaper changed?"

"shut the fuck up crow, so what's the plan then? i assume you group of miscreants wish to instil bad hobbies upon my poor innocent form?"

Hawk speaks up next.

"don't wax poetic you little fuck, we're going to somers roc for drinks, nothing too exciting, be there in half an hour, and make sure to wear your other face."

I wave away her concerns and head back out, as everyone else also leaves to change into civvy clothes, as for my 'other face' well, Somers Roc is a bar that is, although not explicitly stated, an ANBU bar, since all the patrons are pretty much always off duty ANBU in civvies, which means I needed a new face, after all, if you see someone in Somers Roc, then you know they are probably ANBU but just because you know that, doesn't mean you know their mask, 𝘸𝘩𝘰 in ANBU they are.

Now, if you see someone barely making five foot tall in Somers Roc, then it wouldn't be that hard to figure out which ANBU member that is now, would it? Then it wouldn't be hard to figure out who the people with them are, and so, Hawk insisted that I wear a full henge to seem like an adult if I ever want her squad to join us when we hang out.

Of course, just to fuck with her, I made sure that my fake identity looks incredibly similar to her, so that people think we're brother and sister, then I spend the night trying to introduce random men to my 'shy little nee-chan who really wants a husband'.

Honestly, it's really funny because she generally isn't really interested in anything sexual, either with men or women, so it always pisses her off until, that is, she has had a good few drinks, then she suddenly discovers horniness all at once and actually takes whatever guy I introduced to her home for a night they surely won't forget.

I really am such a great wingman and I know she can use the stress relief every now and then, she just doesn't usually find the idea appealing for stress relief.

Either way, I head over to Somers Roc, putting my henge in place on the way, and wait for the others to arrive, telling anyone who asks that I'm waiting for my sister who's looking for a boyfriend and some other friends.

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A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!

My muscles hurt so much, I had to move all the heavy furniture with the help of one old lady and two middle aged ladies, since my flatmate is a middle-aged lady and she's the one with friends.

Also, I can't even listen to music, because I used a family plan on Spotify that let me leech of of my step sister, but for some reason since a few days ago i no longer have premium. It's enough to make a grown man cry.

And it's only now that i am without that i realise how much you guys motivated me to write with your comments, even just seeing zetso's daily thanks for the chaps always makes me feel better :<

But I'm going to go back to the old place today to get more stuff, and the wifi there is still on, so I will have a few minutes to go through all the comments :>

and of course if you wish to support me feel free below, though if money is tight then please consider yourself first :)

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