The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

We are all sitting around a round table. All 11 of us. Cayden standing behind me, Wolfie at my feet quietly napping.

Time for serious negotiations.

[How much for guiding me all the way there?]

"50 silvers, more if you have known enemies going after your life. It will take about a month to reach there after all."

Hum, I see and in the purse I have a lot of silver coins and a few gold coins. Wait I have gold coins now?! OMG isn't that really amazing.

I feel like a newly rich right now. I should have definitely checked my funds earlier!

Now the only question is how many silvers is 1 gold coin worth?

*Murmurs*

[Psst, Cayden! How many silvers is this thing worth?!]

"That….100 silvers. How can you ignore that?!"

He seems both shocked and confused.

[I never had to use such a thing as gold coins you see.]

I was always poor after all.

For some reason, he seems really amazed at me.

Maybe how I managed to climb my way up from penniless (when summoned) to here. But then again, he knows it was a gift, not really the result of my own efforts.

*hands over a gold coin*

[Here you go! Pleasure doing business with you guys]

"What kind of enemies do you have to pay so much?"

[That should cover the 50 silvers. When are we leaving?]

"Alright, we'll do 50% now and 50% later. Let me get you 75 silvers."

[Oh, it's fine. Keep the change. I'll let you take care of food and accommodations instead.]

*nods*

With that, I still have many silvers and a few gold coins. A cute waitress also comes to serve me some beer. She is wearing a short frilly dress. Some drunkards are not so subtly touching her behind as she busies herself. How tempting! Eh…. I mean how immoral!

But for now, let's focus on the heavenly beverage…not. It's pretty bad. But it's better than most other drinks here.

Honestly how great would it be if I was the protagonist of an isekai novel? They somehow manage to create mayonnaise, soy sauce, and bubbly drinks by like chapter 10. I also miss hot chocolate so much. All of that would go well with my pie Inn idea.

So yeah, I start drinking.

Some beers later Cayden is gone. Where? Not sure to be honest.

I play a few games of strong-arm. Win a few. Lose a few too. I blame the tavern girl for distracting me.

I throw a few darts at some targets. Also a few at the bystanders by mistake. I do apologize properly. One silver coin at a time.

My newly recruited mercenaries don't drink much. Something about having a professional ethic. Guess that's good. They book a room for me.

One even asks if I want one of them to stand guard. Of course not! I'm a big boy! A drunken one but whatever! I'm happy right now.

I want to bring Wolfie to cuddle with, but pets aren't allowed in the rooms. What dogshit …what wolfshit dumbass made that rule. Hehe. HAHAHAHA. Ah. I feel just the perfect kind of tipsy.

Wait I've never seen Wolfie poop. Is it a princess?! No, am joking. Everyone does that…then again fantasy world? Hum, who knows. There might be magic for that hehe.

The ceiling is only swimming a bit in my vision….

I crash heavily on the bed of the small room I'm assigned.

Wait?! No! Can't go to sleep right now!

I reluctantly get up again. I carefully lock the door. Then I go down to the bed and crash again!

Ah, this feels nice. I'm sure the bed is just some regular bed in a basic inn room, but I'm way too wasted to care.

At this point, even the floor would feel heavenly. Ah, maybe I should have slept outside with Wolfie. Then again doesn't matter much. Wolves are wild animals by nature, everything should be chill.

And thus I fall into a deep slumber.

I dream about many things.

About the cultivator dude going after me because he can't forget how handsome I am.

About Wolfie somehow barking at people telling them that I belong to her. Yes her. And that she's a princess cause she doesn't poop.

About the first elder raising an army from who knows where.

About a necromancer cackling about how it's not dead yet and me telling it that it ain't exactly alive either and to shut the fuck up.

About some thieves saying cheesy lines. That I should apologize for looking down on their mercenary company with my wealth and life. And then they proceed to slash me with their swords.

About a rooster that doesn't want to sing and me telling it to do its fucking job.

Weird stuff you know. As usual. Dreams do be like that.

The first rays of the sun shine through the small window in the room. A small bed, a nice little night table, a chest to stores one's belongings. The room would look quite cozy in normal circumstances. Problem is the bed covers are a mess, there are shards of metal on the floor too, seems to be remnants of a sword? Weird.

Wait?! Don't tell me someone would try to assassinate me ?! How is this possible?! My only enemy is a …goddess and her champion. Okay, they might have some ways to organize that.

But wouldn't professional assassins know better than to leave their pray alive?

Maybe my dream wasn't all a dream after all.

Most plausible explanation!

Should be the mercenaries that I dissed yesterday.

WHERE IS MY PURSE!?

NOT HERE!

Fuck. So that was their aim. I can't believe I already got robbed.

Oh well, shit happens. Then again what's with the security of this Inn?! I'm sure I locked my door too!

I make my way downstairs (cause every good inn has its rooms on the second floor). Then I go see the only staff member that is there at the moment.

[Hello, I'd like to report an issue and request compensation!]

0_0 She seems surprised to see me at first, but she quickly regains her composure.

"What can I help you with?"

[I'd like to complain about the bad security of the Inn]

"There is no problem whatsoever with our establishment."

[Someone fucking tried to murder me last night!]

"That's why we ask all our clients to properly lock their doors. If you had done it nothing would have happened."

[I did!]

"I assure you, you did not otherwise no one would have been able to even get near you. It's perfectly understandable that you don't remember much of yesterday since you were dead drunk."

Oh my fucking god. Stay tuned for the next episode.

The lion, the witch, and the audacity of this bitch!