The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

Morning !.... Is something I've forgotten!

No sun. At all. But who cares? Who needs sun when you got a cuddly wolf!

Today is the big day!

I might say that every day, but I always mean it!

I'm going to best the bloodsucking vines!

I've said earlier I have a plan, right?

Any pro gamer would know what I'm about to attempt.

[Wolfie! Time to head for the Fire boar!]

*Tail wagging like a helicopter, saliva dripping on the floor already* (∩❛﹃❛∩)

[No. Not for eating.]

*puppy eyes*

[Ok. We can eat a bit, but then we fight!]

As they say work hard play hard. Or in this case work hard to eat…then work some more.

I swear I'm gonna punch the first one that says the art of barbecue is simple.

It takes proficiency to use a monster as your grill!

****

So here I am grilling away. I let Wolfie eat its fill.

Then time for war plan A!

[Come here little piggy!]

(╬≖∩≖)

I've been reusing that line way too much?

What can I say…it works. ¯_( ツ )_/¯

Now. Dodge it like an absolute fucking boss.

Yes, I'm OP.

Now I get it to chase after me.

Direction vine territory!

GONNA BURN THOSE FUCKERS TO THE GROUND!!!!

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ψ(｀∇ ´ )ψ

I'm a Master Baiter!

Yes, I know what it sounds like.

To be fair I also have some proficiency in that too.

But anyway. The goal is to kite the boar while it burns that part of the forest until only ashes remain.

While its skin won't passively start a fire, its attacks can do the trick.

Albeit not the most efficient method, but the only one I have.

Too radical? Fucking bite me!

A forest that host bloodsucking vines doesn't deserve to exist in my book.

And dodge!

*Woosh* *Sound of bushes burning*

And dodge!

*Some more bushes burning*

I see these things crawl all around the place trying to put the fire out.

Haha! But vines are flammable! What are you gonna do now eh?!

The boar freezes….it has seen the vines. (ﾟ□ﾟ* )

WHY THE FUCK IS IT RUNNING AWAY!!!

Fire type > Grass type

Even primary school kids know that!

C'mon….

Talk about a scaredy-boar.

And now the plants are coming my way.

Yeah. Fuck no!

I'm out!

Seriously this is pissing me off.

RIP my perfect plan. Well my flawed plan it seems.

****

A wise man once said: when you encounter a strong monster that gives you trouble…. go fucking bash a weaker one to vent your anger.

The wise man being myself.

I'm now going to follow my own advice. Direction shadow fox!

Hum I'm almost there.

This time I'll be attentive and figure out how it latches itself onto me.

Apparently instantaneously…or almost.

It just did.

One second my shadow is hard to perceive. A second after it's well defined.

This fox is legit in my shadow.

Last time I just ran. This time I'll keep my cool and deal with it.

Let's see. First, I adopt a meditation posture. ╮（￣﹏￣）╭

Why? It's a prerequisite when training that type of thing.

Not only does it make you look cool and mysterious, but it also….

Actually, maybe that's it? Just that is enough though.

I mean it's not like a posture would suddenly give a magic boost or anything.

That would be ridiculous. Otherwise, kids doing weird Fortnight dances would all be arch-mages by now.

So, I calmly sit in a meditation posture to look cool.

I focus my divine energy.

Then I picture my shadow.

I visualize it being extremely horrible to live in.

As uncomfortable as salt on a wound.

As uncomfortable as having your balls on fire.

As uncomfortable as sitting on a porcupine.

As uncomfortable as trying to make a living as an economy major.

Point is I am making my shadow hell to be in.

*whimpers* *runs out*

AND IT'S FUCKING WORKING!

How? I have no fucking clue. Some divine energy bullshit.

Now that I think about it is there anything, I can't do with that?

Right can't start a fire -_-.

Anyway, who has the best plans here?! That'd be fucking me! (Also only human here but irrelevant)

HAHAHA. This is the best.

[Let me see you run now!]

Ever heard of the expression so cowardly he's even scared of shadows?

Or the expression fight fire with fire?

I'm combining both. I'm chasing this fox with my shadow.

And it's epic!

It's scared alright!

So here I am. Running all over the place.

The fox running all over the place away from me.

Wolfie watching everything happen with vivid interest.

I swear it would be munching on popcorn right now if we had some.

Ultimate tag time!

The way this fox moves from shadow to shadow almost seems like teleportation.

Everything becomes clear once you know the trick, however.

In fact, it's just running away normally while using its special ability.

Keeping up with it is easy after all that speed increase training.

Is it mean of me to bully such a weak rank 2 creature?

Maybe, but so what?

Is there even a PETA in this world?

I wanna see what nutjob of a god is in charge of it.

You know because monsters eat mankind on a regular basis.

Heard there is even such a thing as monster outbreaks from time to time.

Now in front of my eyes is a kneeling fox.

I barely did anything. Honestly, only followed it around with my shadow.

Yet it's already giving up?

Quite pragmatic I'd say.

[Oh. Are you trying to plead for mercy?]

*Nod kon-kon*

[Oh. Who was it that was being mischievous the last time? That kept tripping me.]

*Puppy eyes*

[That would be you. Now why would I let you get away with it so easily…]

*Sound of despair produced by a shadow fox*

*Sound of said fox getting trashed*

*Sound of fox stubbornly begging for forgiveness*

[Fine. I guess that should be enough punishment. However! You need to behave! Or there will be hell to pay! Understood?]

*NOD NOD NOD NOD!!!!*

Alright. I see Wolfie laughing in the background.

Time to go back to camp!

Shadow fox challenge: Fucking cleared! Woot! ✔️

****

Hum let me see. My next target is a teleporting giant mantis. How should I approach it?

I might be fast, but it's not enough obviously.

I might be able to hit pretty hard but I'm nowhere near the level of its blades.

Maybe I should try magic? Yeah no…that's a pointless endeavor for me.

I know! I will get myself a weapon!

Time to get busy!

Goal! Training time until I can bully that mantis too!

Say yes to bullying of random monsters, join the unnamed god sect now!

(•‿•)