Chapter 23
Shortly after noon, as Hyuk Dojin had mentioned, a group carrying the ceremonial attire arrived. Surprisingly, a large number of people poured into the room, filling it, and brought in the ceremonial attire that had been placed on a wooden mannequin.
The colorful white fabric and various embroidered patterns captivated my eyes.
Was this the outfit I had to wear for the wedding ceremony?
It was elaborate, but quite different from what I had seen at the Moyong clan. The wedding ceremonies held at the Moyong clan mostly featured red fabric.
However, the ceremonial attire I was looking at was primarily composed of white cloth.
As I examined the attire, a young woman approached me and bowed her head.
“My name is Cho Hong. I’m the tailor in charge of the wedding dress you’ll be wearing, young lady.”
She was a neatly groomed woman with an elaborately styled updo, a beautiful and radiant complexion. The red dress she wore suited her remarkably well, making her resemble a rose.
“My name is Moyong Sowol.”
After I briefly introduced myself, Cho Hong straightened her back and gave a bewitching smile, snapping her fingers. The men who had been standing behind her then approached and placed the ceremonial attire near me.
Cho Hong pointed at the attire and slowly opened her mouth.
“The Young Cult Leader only instructed me to hurry and not delay, so I was flustered, but fortunately, I was able to meet the deadline. However, since I didn’t have your exact measurements, I left the final adjustments, so why don’t you try it on?”
At Cho Hong’s composed words, I turned my head. I silently studied the ceremonial attire she was gesturing towards, narrowing my brow.
Would I be able to wear this?
It seemed like it would take an enormous amount of time to put on and take off. As I bit my lip slightly, Cho Hong let out a laugh.
“Like you, many are startled at first. But they say once you try it on, you’ll be so captivated by its beauty that you’ll want to keep wearing it, so take your time. I’ll assist you.”
After speaking, she turned and instructed the unnecessary personnel and men to leave the room. Despite her slender appearance, she seemed very accustomed to managing people.
Once the interior was somewhat organized, Cho Hong called the maidservants over and instructed them to remove the ceremonial attire from the mannequin, then turned her attention back to me.
“Shall we start by undressing?”
“…”
To wear the ceremonial attire, I would need to remove my current clothes, which was understandable, but something about her phrasing sounded peculiar. Perhaps it was Cho Hong’s alluring demeanor that gave me that impression – each of her actions felt slightly different from the other maidservants.
I took the hand she offered and slowly rose to my feet. Cho Hong lifted her seductive lips in a slight smile. Then, she reached out and slowly pulled down the shoulder line of my robe.
“…?”
Strangely, even though it wasn’t a robe that could be easily removed, it slid off effortlessly in Cho Hong’s hands, like a piece of rice paper being torn.
Taken aback, I tried to step back, but Cho Hong took a step forward, loosely grasping my waist and pulling me closer, letting out a soft chuckle as if claiming, ‘You’re already mine.’
With a casual air, Cho Hong proceeded to undress me of my remaining clothes. Soon, with her hands, I was stripped down to only my thin undergarments. Cho Hong then withdrew her hands from me.
Taking a step back, she smiled at me before slowly hardening her expression, contrary to the relaxed laughter she had shown moments ago as she spoke.
I followed her gaze and looked down at my thin arms and shoulders revealed between the undergarments, letting out a wry smile. I knew why she had that expression.
Even Joo Hwarin had been startled enough to freeze her expression when she first saw me. It was a familiar reaction, so I wasn’t particularly moved, but Cho Hong seemed to have momentarily lost her composure and hurriedly bowed her head.
“My apologies. I had heard about it, but…”
She trailed off, fidgeting uncomfortably. I smiled faintly at her.
“It’s alright. You don’t need to worry about it.”
“…”
Cho Hong pursed her lips, and I tried to put on a smiling expression as I spoke.
“Don’t worry about it. You didn’t mean any harm, and you didn’t have ill intentions either. If you feel too guilty, I’ll end up feeling more apologetic, won’t I? So raise your head.”
At my gentle words, Cho Hong slowly lifted her head to face me. She gazed at me with wavering eyes, took a deep breath, and then stepped back.
Cho Hong regained her composure. Then, with a bright expression like before, she faced me and spoke.
“Thank you.”
I responded to her words with a smile. Cho Hong looked towards the maidservants she had brought, and they immediately approached me with the clothes.
“It may be uncomfortable, but you’ll need to stay still. The seams are still weak and could tear.”
Cho Hong scrutinized the clothes being put on me with sharp eyes, as if she had never been gloomy before. She gave the maidservants detailed instructions, diligently rolling her eyes as if checking something.
Perhaps due to the maidservants’ skill, I was able to put on all the clothes much faster than I had expected it would take. Cho Hong stepped back to take in my full appearance.
Her very serious gaze carefully studied my entire body before she finally nodded her head.
“How does it feel? Are there any particularly uncomfortable or heavy areas?”
“Um… I don’t really know. It just has an overall heavy feel, but not to an uncomfortable degree.”
“Is it bearable? Since there are so many layers, it’s bound to feel a bit weighty.”
It wasn’t significantly uncomfortable, just a sense of weight covering my body. Cho Hong nodded her head and raised her hand.
“Take my hands and try moving around?”
I lifted my arms and lightly grasped her hands. Cho Hong took a few steps back, slowly leading me, and I cautiously moved my legs, worried the clothes might tear.
After following her lead to circle the room and return to the original spot, Cho Hong smiled with satisfaction.
“It looks fine. How about you, young lady? Do you like it?”
She smiled and gestured for a maid to bring a mirror. The maid carried over a mirror that had been standing against the wall and handed it to Cho Hong. Cho Hong held up the mirror, reflecting me precisely, and smiled.
“In my opinion, you look absolutely beautiful, but I’m not sure how you’ll find it yourself.”
The mirror in front of me showed a woman wearing ceremonial attire, with long white hair reaching down to her waist. My gaze slowly swept from the swaying hem of the dress upwards.
“How is it?” came a voice from beside me.
I turned my head to see Cho Hong smiling at me with bright eyes. Meeting her gaze, I smiled softly in return.
“I think I understand what Cho Hong meant.”
I could understand being so captivated by its beauty that you’d want to keep wearing it once you try it on.
I had also once dreamed of my future self wearing a wedding dress. Of course, I knew it was an impossible dream, but still.
Even after becoming Moyong Sowol and being sold off from my clan like merchandise, I never imagined I would be able to wear such a wedding dress.
I had thought it would be a political marriage with a perfunctory ceremony that I could just get through casually. But the wedding dress I was currently wearing was incredibly beautiful, and I wanted to wear it every day, even if it meant enduring the discomfort.
If possible, I wished I could be buried in this dress after dying – it was that breathtakingly sublime. I examined my reflection in the mirror once more. In the mirror, I was giving a faint smile.
It was all thanks to these people that I, who had always looked at those around me with a lifeless expression, could now manage a small smile.
“Thank you.”
For giving me beautiful memories. For leaving me with such wonderful memories, instead of letting me face death in this place filled only with misery, as I had expected.
* * *
Time passed quickly. While everyone around me seemed to be moving about busily, my daily routine remained quiet without much change.
Aside from the occasional person who would come to check on something with me, there were no notable occurrences.
When I asked if everything was proceeding properly, Hyuk Dojin would assure me there were no issues, and Joo Hwarin would fill me in on external matters.
Then, as each day passed and night fell again, I would realize the wedding ceremony was drawing near and feel a twinge of guilt.
Looking at Hyuk Dojin’s sleeping face beside me, I would have to inwardly let out the sigh I couldn’t release.
Despite having so much truth I had concealed from him, I still couldn’t muster the courage, admonishing my cowardly self and hoping I would find courage the next day.
However, day after day passed, and when the wedding ceremony approached, I still hadn’t found the courage.
I thought that if another day went by like this, deceiving him about everything, there would be no opportunity left to speak to him.
So I had to make a decision.
* * *
I undressed in the moonlight filtering in through the window. The cold night breeze ruffled my hair. I scanned the landscape outside, bathed in moonlight, and waited quietly.
Before long, the door opened, and Hyuk Dojin, whose face I hadn’t seen much lately, appeared. Seeing me sitting in a chair and catching the breeze instead of lying in bed as I should have been, he opened his eyes wide in surprise.
I lightly smiled as I neatly smoothed my windblown hair at the timely gust of wind.
“You’ve worked hard today again.”
At my gently flowing words, the frozen Hyuk Dojin let out a laugh. He slowly approached and sat across from me, nodding his head.
“Sowol has also worked hard today.”
“What hardship is there? I just had to sit still.”
“I say that because I know it’s quite difficult for you.”
“…”
His affectionate voice made me unable to face Hyuk Dojin, so I turned my head away. He was too upright a man. A man who saw me for who I was without any suspicion. That’s why I couldn’t look at him.
I could feel his gaze fixed on me as I averted my eyes. Then his gaze shifted away, and he looked outside with me. One thing I had realized since coming here was that the scenery of the Demon Cult bathed in moonlight was quite beautiful. The pavilion’s elevation was high, allowing the surrounding landscape to come into full view. Thanks to this, gazing outside from here, whether morning or evening, became my only hobby.
Silence settled quietly around us. Within it, I waited for the moment I would have to open my mouth, as if counting numbers. Selfishly, I was still conflicted.
My selfish instincts were telling me that since I had already deceived him until now, wouldn’t it be okay to deceive him further? To an extent that even surprised myself.
But I knew. I knew I could no longer deceive him.
Even if this peace were shattered, it wouldn’t be right to cause him harm. No matter how oblivious or foolish a person was, anyone who saw Hyuk Dojin’s actions would realize it.
That he harbored deeper feelings for me, beyond a mere ethical responsibility.
I was grateful. Grateful and overwhelmed that someone would have such feelings for me. It felt like a dream to receive such warmth from a man I could never hold onto. But precisely because of that, I had to sever it.
“Dojin.”
I spoke his name briefly. At my resolute tone, Hyuk Dojin’s gaze turned towards me. His face, smiling in the moonlight, felt like it was pounding my heart, but I could no longer retreat.
Calmly meeting his eyes that were focused on me, I opened my mouth.
“What would you do if you only had six months left with me?”
“Six months?”
“Yes. Six months. No more, no less, exactly six months.”
I bit my lip and continued.
“If this coming winter was your last season with me, what would you do?”
“Why are you asking that?” came his questioning voice.
It felt like my breath was catching. Suppressing my pounding heart, I tried to maintain a calm expression.
“Please answer. If our time together was limited to only six months, what would you do?”
Ripples appeared on the previously tranquil surface of his expression. His eyes seemed to question why I would ask such a thing, filled with bewilderment as he looked at me.
“If I couldn’t even stay by your side for six months…”
Meeting his widening eyes, I finally uttered the last words.
“…Would you abandon me?”
Like my family had, it wouldn’t matter to me if he abandoned me as well. It would just ache my heart a little more. Perhaps I would bury my face in a pillow and shed tears. I might not be able to see Hyuk Dojin again after tomorrow’s wedding ceremony.
But it was fine. I could endure that much.
So I only thought the trembling at the corners of my lips was an illusion.