Chapter 22
I stared silently at Hyuk Dojin, who had nonchalantly asked if it wasn’t enough, before pushing the paper aside.
“Sowol?”
“It’s excessive.”
I shook my head as I tapped the paper with my finger.
“It’s too excessive. I’ve never heard of sending so many ceremonial gifts. Even though wedding ceremony rituals are important virtues, this number of gifts is at a level that would only be expected for an imperial wedding.”
And originally, I wasn’t worth that much. I was just an expendable woman from the Moyong clan with a limited lifespan. No matter how extravagant the gifts, there was nothing I could offer Hyuk Dojin in return.
As Hyuk Dojin quietly listened to me, I spoke insistently, but my words weren’t actually directed at him. It was to myself.
This was a result of my not telling him the truth. The thought that this happened because I kept my mouth shut made one side of my chest ache.
I also didn’t want to benefit my clan, which was trying to make a profit by selling me off.
“This is just a matter of maintaining formalities. So there’s no need to prepare so excessively.”
I pointed to the lost martial arts manuals and spoke again.
“Just these alone would be enough. They’re what the Moyong clan has been desperately searching for. So…”
“No, I’ll send them all.”
“Dojin…!”
I called out his name sternly as he insisted. Hyuk Dojin calmly shook his head, ignoring my words.
As I bit my lip and stared at him, unable to understand why he was being so stubborn about this, his lips parted slowly.
“I don’t understand why you can’t send the items listed.”
“That’s…”
“I’ve heard that in other sects, the more ceremonial gifts a man sends, the more they consider it a reflection of how much he values that woman. So sending too little is seen as disappointing, even if formalities are removed. This is a wedding ceremony with witnesses, so it’s better to show the utmost courtesy… Why are you refusing that, Sowol?”
I could only purse my lips at his words, unable to give any answer. He wasn’t wrong. If he was sending a huge number of gifts out of consideration for me, I should actually welcome it from my perspective.
That was the rule, culture, and etiquette of this world.
But this was akin to fraud. I hadn’t revealed my remaining lifespan, and the Moyong clan had also kept silent about it. Although our intentions weren’t the same, the result was essentially deceiving him.
I was deceiving Hyuk Dojin. That was the truth.
I averted my gaze from Hyuk Dojin, who was staring at me intently. I should tell him. I should speak up now. Tell him that I have little time left, so he shouldn’t send such things and just maintain a basic appearance.
I should have said that. But whenever I thought about how he would react if I told the truth, my body instinctively shrank.
I was receiving an excessive amount of love, attention, and care. I thought it didn’t suit me and tried to draw a line, but in reality, I was becoming accustomed to the kindness shown by Hyuk Dojin and those around him.
If they knew I had deceived them, they would be shocked. They would be angry. And they might even distance themselves from me.
The thought of losing the warm morning meals, the refreshing breezes that woke me, and the soft bed made my lips feel heavy.
In the end, the words that had been swirling in my mouth scattered like water, as if shackled inside.
As I maintained my silence, Hyuk Dojin tilted his head and studied my expression. Within the silence, Hyuk Dojin’s lips parted slowly.
“Is it too burdensome?”
It wasn’t burdensome. I just felt apologetic. And guilty.
“Then I’ll reduce it. I have no intention of sending ceremonial gifts against your wishes.”
His gently approaching voice was affectionate. A warm man, a kind man.
He was too generous towards me. I, a mere pretender, lacked the courage to tell the truth to someone who cared for me. That was me.
Hyuk Dojin, who shone so brightly, was a pity for someone like me. That’s why, even though I knew I shouldn’t leave any room for Hyuk Dojin, I didn’t want to shatter this peace.
But if my selfishness caused him harm, I could no longer be greedy.
If I lacked the courage, I would force the words out. I parted my shackled lips and opened my mouth towards Hyuk Dojin, who was staring intently at me.
“Hyuk…”
“You don’t have to force yourself to say it.”
But then, Hyuk Dojin’s voice overlapped mine.
“I think there are still things neither of us can say to each other. It’s only natural, considering it hasn’t even been a month since we met. So if you don’t want to say it, you don’t have to.”
“…”
He picked up the bundle of papers in front of me, examined it, and nodded his head.
“I should reduce the ceremonial gifts. I’ll keep the silver coins, but remove the jewelry and wine. And as for the treasured sword and various elixirs, I’ll exclude those and send the lost martial arts manual as you suggested. How’s that?”
Looking at Hyuk Dojin, who was asking for my opinion, I calmly nodded. I could sense that he had conceded a lot. The man who had stubbornly insisted just moments ago had taken a step back, so I couldn’t remain as stubborn either.
Although the gifts still seemed excessive, I couldn’t ignore Hyuk Dojin’s suggestions. Just as he respected me, I respected him.
Seeing my acquiescence, Hyuk Dojin smiled softly, put away the papers, and spoke.
“The atmosphere suddenly became heavy… Well, isn’t that how it usually goes? They say couples argue the most before their wedding, so we can just think of it that way.”
I responded with a smile to his lighthearted remark aimed at dispelling the mood. After nodding, I tried to push aside my complicated thoughts for the time being. Even if it was selfish, I wanted to cling to this false daily life a little longer.
Hyuk Dojin put down his half-empty teacup and turned his head. Geum Baekcheon, who had been waiting by the side for us to finish our meal, immediately came over and cleared the table at Hyuk Dojin’s glance.
As the table was being cleared with the help of the maidservant, Hyuk Dojin rose from his seat.
“The ceremonial attire is supposed to arrive in the afternoon, so I have something to check on in the meantime.”
“Check?”
Hyuk Dojin nodded as he changed into an outer robe.
“Actually, it’s not something you necessarily need, but I thought it would be meaningful for you to have it, so I prepared it.”
“What is it?”
“Celestial…”
Knock, knock.
In the middle of Hyuk Dojin’s words, there was a knock at the door, and he turned his head. ‘They’re here,’ he muttered softly, clearing his throat.
At his signal, Joo Hwarin, who had been standing by the door, opened it, revealing a burly man.
As soon as the man entered, he prostrated himself on the floor. Hyuk Dojin looked at him and spoke.
“Where is it?”
“The guards protecting the pavilion said we can’t carry weapons, so…”
The man trailed off, sounding perplexed, and Hyuk Dojin let out a sigh. After a moment, he exhaled and instructed Joo Hwarin to go and return, before speaking again.
“Did you make it as I described?”
“I did make it according to the Young Cult Leader’s instructions, but…”
“Is there a problem?”
The man hesitated at Hyuk Dojin’s question, rolling his eyes briefly to glance at me before slowly opening his mouth.
“Young Cult Leader, forgive my insolence, but while I made it according to your instructions, it seems too long for the young lady to use comfortably.”
Me? I turned to Hyuk Dojin with a puzzled look, surprised to be mentioned. He glanced at me before speaking again.
“There’s no need to worry. She won’t be using it directly.”
As soon as he finished speaking, Joo Hwarin, who had disappeared earlier, returned. In her bare hands was a long sword. Joo Hwarin entered and handed the sword to Hyuk Dojin.
As soon as Hyuk Dojin received the sword, he skillfully drew it out. From within the black scabbard, a silvery blade emerged, reflecting the light. Hyuk Dojin ran his eyes over the sword from top to bottom before smiling faintly.
“It’s well-forged.”
“Well, since it’s a sword made of Celestial Steel, extensive hammering was inevitable.” (tl/n: kind of metal, extremely valuable and hard to obtain. It is often mentioned when describing powerful/precious swords or the gifts/dowries exchanged during marriages of prominent martial artists.)
Hyuk Dojin shifted his gaze from the sword to me. As I quietly looked at him, he slowly approached, placed the sword and scabbard on the table, and sat across from me before speaking.
“A gift for you, Sowol.”
“This… for me?”
I was momentarily speechless as he smiled and nodded. I rubbed the teacup in my hand with my fingers, pondered for a moment, and then slowly opened my mouth.
“Thank you for the gift, but I don’t think I’ll have a use for this sword.”
“I know.”
“But why…”
Instead of answering, he simply smiled. I lowered my sullen gaze to the sword. Lifting my hand, I lightly stroked the blade. A cool, chilly sensation traveled through my fingertips.
How long had it been since I last touched a sword?
“It’s not bad to have one, is it?”
“But…”
“Even if it’s just for decoration, something good might happen.”
The Hyuk Dojin I knew wasn’t someone who would give such a vague reason for a gift like this. Giving a sword that couldn’t even be used for decoration? And one made of Celestial Steel, no less?
Even if I didn’t know much, I was aware that Celestial Steel was far stronger and more valuable than ordinary steel.
If he wanted to give a gift, he could have given a sword made of regular steel instead of going out of his way to…
As I stared at him intently, Hyuk Dojin calmly opened his mouth with a tranquil expression.
“Well, won’t there be a day when you’re healthy enough to use that sword?”
Unfortunately, that day would never come.
“You can think of it as an early gift for that day, Sowol.”
After finishing his words, he rose from his seat. I urgently tried to open my mouth, not wanting him to continue evading a direct answer, but Hyuk Dojin’s voice flowed first.
“I have something to check on, so I’ll take my leave first. You only need to examine the ceremonial attire that will arrive later, so you can rest until then.”
As soon as he finished speaking, Hyuk Dojin hurriedly turned around. The man who had been prostrated on the floor also seemed flustered, rolling his eyes repeatedly before finally bowing and quickly disappearing.
I narrowed my brow as I surveyed the empty space, as if a gust of wind had just blown through.
What was that just now…?
As I stood frozen in bewilderment, Joo Hwarin approached me with a smile and spoke.
“It seems the Young Cult Leader was embarrassed to explain.”
“Explain what?”
I turned to Joo Hwarin’s words. With a thin smile, she gestured towards the sword.
“Gifting a Celestial Steel sword before a wedding carries a special meaning.”
“Special meaning?”
“Yes. Celestial Steel is a precious material with a light and sturdy hardness. Making a sword out of it means cherishing the recipient, and furthermore, it signifies a desire to never let them leave your side. Interpreted differently, it means a lifelong commitment… Well, something along those lines.”
She looked at the Celestial Steel sword with a perplexed expression.
“Since the Demon Cult values strength, gifting swords has become more commonplace than offering flowers or other gifts. That’s why you might not understand it, but he didn’t give it with ill intent, so there’s no need to be flustered.”
As I listened to Joo Hwarin’s words, I examined the sword again. The blade, quietly containing its edge, flickered.
“Of course, even if it’s not that, it could simply mean he wants you to quickly recover your health and be able to wield a sword… It’s probably better not to read too deeply into it.”
“…”
Even if she said not to read too deeply into it, I couldn’t help but do so.
Haah, I let out a long sigh.
“…What should I give in return?”
I felt uneasy, as if I had only been receiving without giving anything back.