Chapter 24: +Adventure?+
Well, I do have to admit it isn't really that heavy, but it's the principle of things! I'm currently at the entrance, piled high with ridiculous amounts of gear... Can I even fit out the door?
I look up to gauge the height, tilting back slightly... Which almost sends me toppling over. It took all my effort to right myself. I feel like I'm some sort of Hideo whatevermacallits character. There was one who carried so much stuff he kept tipping over! I didn't really get the content of the rest of the story though... Hero stories are weird.
Okay, it's still really hard to balance even though it's not that hard to carry. I- oh. I'm being poked. I refuse to acknowledge the presence of any human being though, as is my right as a-
"AGH!" I can't help but yelp and fall over. The heroine just stuck a wet finger into my ear! What the fuck was that for?! Rubbing my ear, I glare at her, taking a dozen seconds to stand up once again.
"I know you've spent the entire time spacing out, but if you ever space out on the road I'm putting a leash on you, do you understand? I'll explain what I JUST explained on the way again so you can hear it." I give a half hearted nod after she speaks, looking away from her, muttering profanities under my breath as I follow them out the door, barely clearing the large doorways.
Trudging along, I'm lead to a classical human military vehicle... I... Were they fucking with me this whole time about... Making me carry everything?
"Oh, and before you get any ideas, you're walking." I almost lunged at the heroine right there, but the bubbly voice of the new girl stopped me.
"C'mon, isn't that a little too far for a prank?" Her words confuse me, but don't extinguish the hatred bubbling up in me, fanning the flames even more with frustration nearly boiling over.
"Fine, prank's over, toss the shit in the back. It'll be a few days until we reach demon territory, and we'll be making a couple stops on the way." The heroine doesn't sound particularly happy that her 'prank' was ruined.
I guess I like you bubbly girl, new slave target acquired. I throw the backpack into the back of the Humvee where it seems like there was stuff packed up anyway... Was all of this literally just to prank me?
"If you're wondering about why we packed a backpack, that's for our travels through the demon land since we can't bring the truck past that point," Fluffy tells me, okay, a third person has gained mind reading, and this one I like.
Yes, I've decided to call her Fluffy. Humans don't need names anyway. Still not going to respond to her, though.
I open one of the doors, pondering a bit to myself. Why do they call them Humvees anyway? I get hum, 'cause of 'human' but vee? Vee... Vee... Velociraptor? Human Velociraptor? That's a really cool name for such a boring car.
I get hit upside the head again, causing me to jolt back to reality. "Get in there!" The heroine hisses at me. Oh, I just opened the door and didn't get in. ... But...
Why am I in the middle? This is really awkward. Fluffy is in the front passenger seat while I'm stuck between Killa and Julia.
Couldn't you have put me with Fluffy?!
I sit in the middle awkwardly while the two look at me with unpleasant gazes. This is really uncomfortable. I attempt to get lost in thought to escape the awkward situation, but the heroine begins talking, forcing me to listen in.
"So, 3 days until the edge of the demon lands. We'll stop by a few towns along the way to hand out any necessary relief aid, as well as sometimes resting for the night. If there are significant issues in any towns, we may have to delay our continued trip to help," she rattles on, leaving me no time to tune her out before continuing, "Your job is to never leave this car under any circumstances unless we let you, do you understand? The tinted windows will keep people from seeing in. I will come to get you nightly to take you for a bath and bathroom breaks."
So wait, she said all of that... Just to tell me I'm basically imprisoned in this truck until further notice?
"Oh, and this car has child locks on it, so you aren't leaving unless we let you anyway." Why does a military vehicle have child locks on it? Huh?
And as if on queue, Fluffy answers. "The reason this car has child locks on it is 'cause it's meant for personal transport for the heroine... Including children." Okay, I think she's firmly a mind reader. Still, that doesn't answer all my questions!
Can't I just crawl over the center bit and-
"You won't." The heroine says, causing me to look at her confused. "You won't crawl over that console because you value your life."
Okay, true but what the fuck is her problem?! Aagh, I know I'm saying this a lot, but she's really the worst! I knew the heroes were all trash, the only thing good about her is her appearance!
I lean back into the seat, grumbling... To which Killa immediately reaches around me and buckles me in with something.
Oh, so now I'm stuck here bound as well?! This just keeps getting worse... I grumble in annoyance, fiddling with the straps running across my body. These wouldn't even hold someone that well! Are they enchanted?
I examine them a bit, only to find out that no, they are not enchanted. I am even more baffled. At the very least the car seems to be silent now, so I'm gonna just ignore everyone.
...
I really hate this, it's been hours of just SITTING HERE. I'm so fucking bored! Why won't anyone talk?! Is this really how humans travel? At least with demons you get to punish them for whatever reason you can think of for fun.
I can feel my mood plummet more and more as the ride goes on and on. This doesn't feel like an adventure at all! Why did the heroine say we were going on an 'adventure?!' Lies from the heroine as usual!
I grumble, kicking at the heroines seat, earning a couple strange looks from the surrounding people. I do this for about half an hour before the heroine suddenly stops the car, turning back to me.
I suddenly sit up as straight as possible, professing my innocence with my posture. "Okay, I change my mind, maybe you do have a death-wish."
I furrow my brow intensely, my body tensing up, ready for her to strike. If I'm going down, I'm gonna mortally wound her!
I'm hit in the face with a bag of some sort. I look down at it as it lands in my laps. It's labeled "Chips for Sips", I look at her with a sense of amazement and anger as she starts driving again.
"Just eat that and stop acting like a child, or else." I've lost count how many times she's threatened me, but she hasn't followed up on them either. Maybe she's all bark and no bite? Not that I'm eager to find out.
I just silently eat the salty chips, the crinkling noise at least more tolerable than the constant silence from before besides the hum of the car.
These are kind of tasty. I space out while eating the 'Chips for Sips', even if they are poisoned at least that would be more fun to deal with than the alternative.
Why isn't Fluffy saying anything at least? She chatted my ear off for so long earlier, but now she's saying nothing! I don't want to talk to any of them, but maybe I'll make an exception.
"Fluffy, why so silent after being so talkative earlier?" It seems I've earned some strange looks again, this is becoming a commonplace thing, isn't it?
"Who's Fluffy?" Fluffy asks. You, obviously? You're the only fluffy person here. I point at her, not wanting to speak more than necessary.
"You... Huh? You're calling me Fluffy?" The stares become even more painful. I regret trying to speak, these humans are too awkward!
"You're the one who is fluffy, so obviously you would become Fluffy." She looks a bit conflicted, looking like she's wondering what to think about it.
"My name is Lisle. As in Carlisle." Too bad, your name is Fluffy now, and since you're gonna be my slave when we're done, what I say goes.
"Okay, Fluffy." She helplessly shrugs after I speak, turning back forward before answering my question.
"We have four silent people in a car, and one person who talks. I can't talk for both sides in a conversation, you know?" You can't? You literally did that for like 20 solid minutes earlier.
After that short conversation, awkward silence returns for several hours before we finally arrive at a town! Hooray! Civilization!
Dusk is just now starting, signaling night coming soon. Looks like there weren't any stops this day, well, besides a couple bathroom breaks for one or two of the occupants.
I tried to go out once, but they wouldn't allow it. They silently leave the car, closing the door on me, though at least Fluffy says a 'Good night' to me.
They're really just gonna leave me here? That wasn't a joke, too? I remove my bindings with a button and curiously test the doors. Nadda.
The heroine is really a demon, I'm not sure how much more of this I can take.
+This chapter feels more like a punishment for me... I feel embarrassed for how bad I treated you back then.+
(Well, we've got a lot of it to go, so don't worry! You've made your bed, and now you must lay in it.)
+To be fair, I did have my reasons. You taking human lives so lightly in that you would happily cause their deaths and gloat about it rubbed me the wrong way a lot.+
(Well, sorry, I guess?)
+It's fine, I know you all are kind of just hardwired like that now.+
(Also, why is it called a Humvee?)
+I dunno, but I kind of like the 'Human Velociraptor' idea, you're really cute.+
(Am not, it's a valid possibility!)
+I don't think it is.+
(True, it's the only possibility!)
+Sure.+
Author's Note:
Thank you to whoever dropped the story and then undropped it. I appreciate the second chance. :)
Thank you for almost 100 in the 'reading' stats.