Chapter 23: +You Wouldn’t Like Ilvia When She’s Angry+
Anyhow, she's convinced me to go along with her. Shocker, right?
(Look, even the meta side of my brain was getting tired of you!)
+But the physical side was getting addicted, I'm sure.+
(... Nobody is gonna see you wink.)
+You did.+
So here I am, once again on my way being dragged through this godforsaken boring maze, step... after step... after step... after step... after... I seriously hate this place with every fiber of my being.
At least I get to watch the heroine's butt wiggle this time, but also I hate this maze. I groan in frustration, grumbling a bit unhappily.
"Sorry, babe~, we'll get there soon, I promise." I perk up a bit, hopeful about the coming end to the maze.
The heroine lied, of course, we're still walking. I'm not even surprised anymore, just disappointed. I mean seriously, who the hell builds a maze like this.
EXIT! I almost screamed 'FREEDOM!', but I once again hold myself back, no good girl? thoughts this time, I just don't want to make a shameful display in front of the heroine.
I wonder when she's gonna tell me where we're going... Ask? No way, I'm not letting her get a single iota of fun out of me after handing me to that tentacle monster librarian! I pout to myself, continuing to follow her.
Occasionally she has to stop me from wandering off while I'm thinking, but that's not my fault! It's her fault for being boring, okay?
What's the adventure for, anyway? I mean, I can hazard a guess, but the heroine can be pretty unpredictable sometimes... Oh, this is awkward.
Silence...
Standing watching us is Julia, Killa, and someone else I don't really know. She has fluffy brown hair that matches what appears to be an equally fluffy personality. What's a fluffy personality? I dunno! It just looks like it, okay?!
Julia doesn't seem happy, Killa seems annoyed, and the other girl, well... She seems pretty happy, at least? At least I have two friends here!
"So, what is all this?" Julia asks, crossing her arms. She doesn't seem particularly happy to see me, but hey, I'm happy to see she's up and walking! Good slave.
"Mmm. We're going on an adventure!" The heroine says, earning a furrowed brow from Killa and Julia.
"Yes, but where and why?" I am amused by their question, seems the heroine is annoying them with not telling them as well! It's not just me! My allies!
"This psycho talked about her slaves being still alive. So we're gonna go rescue em and then probably punish her for a bit." She glanced over to me while saying that. What? What did I do to deserve a punishment! I'm innocent!
Also wait what? I expected something but not... That. How the fuck does she think we're gonna just walk into the demon lands with a bunch of humans in tow to rescue slaves?
"We're gonna walk right in!" Okay, I knew it, she's crazy, even the three of them are looking at her skeptically!
"Okay, okay, don't look at me like that. Only this person is allowed to be an idiot." Hey, wait, why is she looking at me when she says that?! I furrow my brow in annoyance, earning a faint snicker from Julia and Killa.
"We're gonna go in, pretend to be her 'new slaves', capitalize off her 'return' to maybe rescue some other slaves who may have been taken." She thinks I'm gonna just go along with this?! Fuck that!
"And you think she's just gonna go along with this?" Did Killa develop mind reading too since I last saw her? No, but more importantly, there's no way I'm gonna-.
"Because if she doesn't, instead of my harem member, I'll be making her into my bitch slave, worshiping every cock and pussy in the entire army." Oh, the heroine is making this sound pretty good.
"And I won't be letting her cum ever again." The heroine's follow up makes me freeze, returning to furrowing my brow in frustration. This will give me an opportunity to escape later anyway, so I'll just have to play along.
"I'll, uh... I'll help." I try to put on my most stern face, not letting my evil intentions get pa-
"And if she tries to escape one more time, I'll be executing her on the spot." I shiver in horror. This girl is absolutely crazy! What the fuck is her malfunction?! I didn't even do anything to earn this kind of treatment! I knew it, the heroine has to be a demon in disguise!
Psychopathic mind reader, shitty human, trash of the world! I glare at her with everything I can muster...
The only issue is she really can just kill me in a heartbeat... She's really the worst! I need to get Wrath to help me! Wrath will save me if I ask her! Get me away from this psycho heroine!
Concocting yet another plan, I will do my best to escape! I internally pump myself up, trying to pull my glaring visage away from the heroine, grumbling unhappily as I do.
At the very least these three idiots seem convinced. Why are you convinced?! Don't you see I'm a victim here?! Where's your supposed human 'morality?!' I want to scream in frustration, but I don't want to give these four anymore than I already have.
I'm gonna kill this heroine if it's the last thing I do, I swear. Well, Wrath will, but still! I'll be the one telling Wrath! I'll be the person directly responsible! Trying to ignore the welling feelings of hatred and anger, I watch as the four start commissioning some other people who just arrived, presumably some sort of unit quartermaster by what they're saying, for gear for the trip.
I sit there in silence, continuing to grumble to myself. It's not pouting! It's legitimate vitriol and hatred! I won't let her get away with this, mark my words!
+And that's why I said 'don't threaten their lives', notice how the moment I did, she immediately turned from 'well, it's fine, I guess.' to 'I'm gonna murder you the next chance I get.'+
(It feels weird seeing me react like this.)
+Not to me, you're scary when you're angry.+
(Hey, I don't get angry much anymore!)
+No, but when you do I have to hide somewhere I'm not telling you.+
(... is that why whenever I get angry you stop appearing in front of me? Because you go hide? Coward.)
+I value my life.+
(Oh, and you don't value the life of anyone else?)
+Let's be real, the only person you'd ever hurt if you got angry is me.+
(That's because you're usually the cause when I get angry!)
+Jeez, I can't help it if I get hurt! If I get hurt more every time I get hurt it's a never ending cycle!+
(I wouldn't hurt you if you're hurt!)
+So you would hurt me.+
(... okay maybe a little, but you deserve it sometimes! Your teasing goes too far!)
+But it's so fun to tease you until you look like you're ready to explode.+
(... I'm gonna give you 10 seconds to run.)
+Oop!+
(Okay, she's gone so we can keep going.)
I brood for a while before noticing fluffy hair is staring at me, I look to her and tilt my head slightly. She's currently wearing some casual clothes, she's got a small chest and hips but she definitely looks like a bubbly person no matter the scenario.
She looks like the kind of person who takes good care of her skin and is proud of it, good for her! I'm still not gonna talk though, not gonna give the heroine anything. It's not pouting, okay?
"How do you wear foundation?" I look back to her curiously after she speaks, tilting my head.
"Like... You're wearing makeup, right? How do you yenno... Get that color? She taps her cheek a bit." Oh, that's a surprisingly cute question. The answer is I don't wear makeup, this beauty is all natural baby!
"I don't wear makeup though?" When I say that, I see her eyes sparkle and suddenly I feel intimidated all over again.
"How do you get your skin like that? How often do you take showers? How often do you take baths? What kind of soap do you use? Do you use concealer at all? What's your daily skin care routine? How do you get your cheeks so prominent without any contouring? How do you get that natural dark look around your eyes without having them look sunken? How much-" She rattles off incessantly, my brain quickly shutting it out as she continues to talk at me.
Ahh, the safety of my own mind... I knew it, demons are the only sane people in this world. Am I really going to have to travel with dumb, dumber, dumbest, and dumbestest? I stare off into the distance blindly, tuning out everything going on around me.
I've perfected this skill because of Envy, since they never shut up whenever you meet them. I'm glad I have it perfected now... I should thank them after Wrath kills the heroine.
It doesn't seem like the other three have any intention of saving me either, and this girl doesn't seem to realize I've completely tuned her out
I stare off past the fluffy-haired freak, watching as people slowly begin to gather for delivering some goods. We aren't leaving today, are we? I've barely been able to rest since last night! There's no way a human would be that awful, right?
Who am I kidding, that's just wishful thinking by this point. We're definitely gonna be leaving today, otherwise there would be no reason to rush packing up camping kits... Though, why are they packing everything into one backpack?
Unable to suppress my curiosity, I briefly look to the fluffy hair who has yet to stop talking, it appears my faint nods and head shakes every once in a while kept the conversation going!
"Why is there only one large backpack?" I interrupt her long string of rambling with a short query.
"... Hm? Didn't you hear? You're the one carrying all our stuff." Her words make me realize...
I really am gonna kill that dirty heroine.
(Spoilers... Didn't yet.)
(... It's kinda lonely to just be here by myself, I should probably go find her.)
(Uh, thanks for watching I guess? Have a good night! Or day, or... Whatever temporal anomalies your plane has.)
Author's Note:
One of these nights I'll get a good sleep.
But until then, I wish you all a good night instead!