The Misadventures of a Terrestrial Anomaly

Navara walked in with a small green woman next to her. Her proportions were normal, but she looked as if someone had shrunk her to a quarter of her size. Gabby’s dark green braid brushed the floor as she walked. She wore bobbins and fabrics of clashing colors and patterns all over her dress and apron. Pins as large as herself rested in her large, frumpy hat. Gabby stood barely knee high to Charlie as she approached with an extended hand.

“Good morning. This is Seamstress Gabby,” The lioness nodded, “She is here to make you some clothes.”

“Yes, yes,” The woman’s voice high pitched voice sounded damaged from years of chain-smoking, “Much shorter than I expected. Have you briefed the client?

“We just woke up,” Piper pulled the glasses off her face and cleaned them, “She had business with Puddles first. Now that its settled, I can retrieve your items.”

“Perrrrfect,” Gabby drummed her fingers against themselves, “Pants, dress, bag, scarf—”

Charlie could not stop looking at the tiny woman in amazement. She knelt down to get a closer look. Gabby pulled one pin from her hat and held it towards the bed.

“Piper, my supplies. Jonah, blood sample.”

“Blood sample?” She leaned back enough that she sat, “Why?”

“Piper, explain!”

Gabby waited a moment before she turned around and looked for the woman.

“Seamstress, you sent her to get supplies,” Davon cleared his throat, “I can, if you’d like?”

“No. No! You’d get it wrong,” The woman groaned and handed the slowly emerging bird the sewing pin, “Jonah, make a note to get more of you when I can.”

He meekly chirped in reply. As he skittered toward Charlie, Squirt sprayed water at Jonah. He anxiously cawed and snorted.

“Squirt, be nice. He’s just trying to do his job. Though, I have a –ouch!” Charlie jerked when the sewing pin punctured her hand, “What is going on?”

Gabby pulled the pin from her hand and shook it as she untied fabrics from her, “Yes, yes. Turtle familiar, Squirt? Come here and give me a boost.”

He snorted and tucked in his shell.

“Do you not want to help your mother? I’m going to be very close. You don’t want to be involved? You wouldn’t be a good boy and help?”

“Mother?” Navara, Davon, and Charlie asked.

“Yes. I speak creature?” She scoffed, “What goblin doesn’t speak creature?”

“Goblin?” Charlie asked.

“Charlie probably hasn't seen a fae before,” Puddles said.

“Oh! Yes. First fae. Big responsibility – quit it!” The goblin smacked Squirt’s head, “Do the big form so I can use you as a stool.”

He croaked as water surrounded him and he grew. The large tortoise squirt knelt down for the green goblin to draw up him. She stood on top of Squirt’s shell and snapped at Jonah.

“Grab my—ah, Piper! Grab my tape measure and toss it to your brother. Then—” She hummed, “The blue. Yes. Blue would look best.”

As if she was in a children’s film, Jonah grabbed one end of the tape measure and flew around Charlie’s waist. After he chirped, Gabby would look to Piper to write down what he said. After measuring keen areas, the goblin eagerly clapped.

“Okay! Ready to start.”

“Can we take, like, three minutes to tell Charlie what’s going on?” She sighed, “I’m confused. I just woke up and I’m hung over.”

“Seamstress Gabby is a goblin. I pay her to come here once or twice a year to do some outfits for me. Because many of our townsfolk knew you need clothes, they paid her,” Navara grinned, “The twins are her assistants.”

“Why the blood sample?” She grumbled.

“Some of her items are mana infused and need the wearer’s mana when created,” Piper opened a large trunk and pulled out a stiff blue bundle of fabric, “Seamstress, which blue?”

“Hmmm. What blue?” The goblin hummed, “What does my muse want to wear first?”

“Muse? You tease,” Charlie laughed wryly, “I would love pants. Do you have denim? Jeans would be great.”

“Denim? Never heard of it,” The goblin smeared, “Pants, good. Jonah, scissors!”

The bird chirped and hopped to the trunk to dig out scissors. Gabby furiously threw fabric up to Charlie and held it against her legs while murmuring nonsensical things to herself. Squirt reached his head up and pulled at one dark blue and purple swirls littered with golden flecks.

“This one? Too nice for pants. Pants are worn when travelling,” The goblin patted his head, “Dress or shirt?”

“Raw!”

“Dress it is.”

Squirt happily tapped his front feet on the ground. Gabby grabbed onto his neck as he danced to not fall off. Charlie scratched under her his chin and helped her back onto his shell. She looked up to see a heated discussion between the Leonie son and mother with Puddles arbitrating the pair.

“I won’t allow it!”

“Navara, he has to go sometime. He will be with Gabby and me. He’ll be safe.”

“My other children were safe too!” The lioness growled, “I refuse.”

“You would defy your goddess just to keep me here?” Davon scoffed, “The one you said to follow no matter silly the request?”

“I would defy every god to keep my son safe!”

Puddles sighed, “Ocean herself approved. That’s why he got the bow.”

“No. I would have to sign any contracts as his parent because he hasn’t gone on his pilgrimage. Only someone with higher authority in our pride would be able to go above me,” She held her hands up as he protested, “Puddles is not in our pride. I am the highest ranking and I refuse.”

“I will demote you if you don’t allow it.”

“Fine. Do it,” Navara threw her hands in the air, “No priest or priestess in this temple will allow him to go. You won’t find anyone else with—”

“Mother, I understand you’re upset but I’m a grown man!” He grabbed her wrist as she tried to storm off, “I am the only adult Leonie in thousands of miles that hasn’t gone on pilgrimage.”

“Do not touch me!” She threw his hand down.

“What am I supposed to do then? I am supposed to become a hermit and live in your house as dad’s replacement?”

Charlie tried to ignore the heated debate as the goblin in front of her measured without a care in the world. It still felt like an odd dream that she hadn’t woken up from. Only instead of an adventure, it was a fantasy setting.

“You would be a great man if you had even an ounce of your father’s attitude!”

“Every single Leonie talks about me because they think I’m too weak to leave. If I don’t go, when will I?” He sneered, “If I never go on pilgrimage, I won’t be able to get my own house. I can’t even find a mate! What am I supposed to do? Pretend I’m happy being stuck here my whole life?!”

“Quince would have never spoken to me like this!”

“Well maybe I should’ve gone in perfect little Quince’s place then. At least I’d be dead and not stuck in this hellhole!”

Navara smacked him with a clawed hand. Charlie gasped and covered her mouth. The scene affected everyone in the room, except the little green goblin that hummed to herself as she held up different fabrics.

“All of my family is dead besides you and the youngest litter,” She spoke calmly, “I cannot lose you too. I’m done discussing this. Go home immediately, Davonathan, and think about your disrespectful attitude towards your mother and the alpha of this pride.”

Davon touched the bleeding wound on his face. Blood smeared into the red dye along his snout. He blinked before he looked at his mother one last time.

“Actually, disobeying me disqualifies you from being the alpha of this pride Navara,” Puddles sighed dramatically, “So, until I find a new one, you are both on house arrest it seems.”

The lioness’s head snapped to look at the small watery girl. Puddles completely ignored the anger and pretended to clean under nonexistent fingernails.

“Puddles, I don’t think—” Charlie tried to pull away from the goblin seamstress wrapping fabric around her legs.

“Very well,” Navara bowed, “Announce the next alpha and I will seek punishment then. Davonathan will not be joining you under any circumstances.”

“Puddles, let me talk to her,” She shook the Piper’s pinned fabric off of her, “I can—”

“Stay out of it, Charlie!” He growled and stalked off.

“I would have to agree with my son on this. I will see you another time,” The lioness turned and left the room without another word.

Puddles rolled her eyes and walked over to the clothes fitting in the center of the room. Piper clicked her tongue as she put the sleeves back over her arms.

“Stop moving,” The woman grunted, “Your first outfit will be done soon.”

“Yes, then we can take a break for whatever drama you have,” Gabby picked up a sewing needle, “Be still as stone.”

Charlie held her breath as Gabby aligned the fabric against her. She held her hand out and Jonah placed the bloody pin in it. The goblin flicked it like a maestro’s wand and murmured to herself. With a few slow movements, the outfit shook to life. Creamy, tan pants slithered along her legs as the odd wand moved. Bobbins of thread unraveled and fed into a sewing needle that danced through the fabric to hold it against her skin. Piper moved small buttons into position as Jonah fanned Charlie’s hair from her face with his wings. The entire fairy godmother like sequence ended with Gabby stabbing into her client’s ankle with a simple spell.

“Transverse and mutate to the needs of the wearer,” The goblin sat plopped down on Squirt’s shell and gasped for air, “Phew, that took a bit out of me. What next?”

“Perhaps a break, Seamstress?” Piper raised an eyebrow, “You smell like you are sweating wine.”

“After. I had a whole glass yesterday,” The goblin slid to the floor, “I will come up with my next design. Jonah, make sure she does not stray far.”

Charlie walked up to the mirror and looked at herself. The cream-colored pants accented her curves more than anything she ever found back home. It felt like a second skin as she walked. The only thing she didn’t like was the lack of pockets. Though, with a backpack and no phone to carry, it might be just fine. With that thought, a line in the pants formed. Charlie reached her hands into it and discovered a pocket.

“What the fuck?” She looked at Piper.

“Did you not hear the spell? Once you finalize the outfit, it will stay like that,” She chuckled, “You’re getting four today, so choose wisely.”

“Well, if that’s the case…”

Jonah perched on Charlie’s shoulder and moved her hair out of the way. With a shy chirp, he lightly pecked at the top. The blue and purple swirls danced about as she thought of different forms for the shirt to take. It tucked itself into the pants and a belt of the same material slithered around the high waist until it formed a stylish bow. The sleeves fell away to show a tank top against the pants. A high, flow collar fell to a v neck as Charlie pulled her hair up.

“Damn, that’s beautiful,” Piper grinned, “I’ll have to try that style myself.”

“It’s a pretty popular and easy look where I come from,” She shrugged, “When I say I’m done, is that it?”

“Step into these,” Gabby snapped.

Jonah flew to the trunk. The bird pulled out to foot shaped pads and set them in front of her. She stepped onto them and looked at her feet.

“What do I—”

“Boots!” Puddles yelled, “Don’t let her get away with no boots.”

Knee high boots appeared over her calves and shrunk against her feet.

“Something’s missing,” The goblin hummed, “Hat! What hat?”

“I mean, if it’s this sunny everywhere, wouldn’t one with a wide brim work?”

Gabby snapped again and Piper grabbed a discarded sleeve. She handed it to the goblin. The tiny green woman quickly folded it into a bow and stabbed the pin through it. As she tossed the bundle of fabric back to Piper, it grew into a witch’s hat. Charlie tucked it onto her head and looked at herself in the mirror. The purples and blues in her hair matched her new hat and shirt. Squirt chirped happily to approve.

“This looks fantastic!” She squealed happily and turned around in the mirror.

“Yes. Now,” Gabby trotted over to the trunk and bent over the edge to reach inside, “Hold on. Need to – Piper!”

“Back inner pocket,” The woman called as she brushed stray threads off of Charlie’s shoulder, “I think the spot in the bow would be best.”

“Jonah!”

The small crow hopped into the trunk and threw a thumb-sized blue sequin. Gabby snatched the sequin and stabbed the bloody pin through it. She javelined the pin towards Charlie. It stabbed through the bow at her hip. Her entire outfit disappeared as the blue sequin turned into centered around an opal and fell to the floor. Gabby removed the pin from the gemstone and turned to look at more of her fabrics.

“There, one done,” Piper handed Charlie the bow, “Go talk to your Leonie people now.”

“How does it become an outfit again?” She looked between the bow and the woman in shock.

She rolled her eyes, “Hold it where your outfits bow was and say the phrase ‘on’. Easy magic.”

She held it up to her hip and hummed, “On.”

Blue and purple lights swirled around her as if she had her own magical anime protagonist transformation. It ended with the bow at her hip tying the lights to end the outfit change.

“That’s awesome!” She tipped her hat.

“Yes, yes. Now,” Puddles grabbed her shoulders, “Let’s go see Navara.”

They left the temple and rushed towards their home. Intelligible roars rang out through the block around them. The four cubs sat outside with sour looks on their faces. Charlie knelt in front of them. They surrounded her in a hug and clung onto her limbs as if their lives depended on it.

“Mama and Davon are fighting!”

“Davon doesn’t wanna be our big brother anymore!”

“He wants to leave like everyone else!”

“No, no he doesn’t want that,” She shushed them, “Davon just wants to make sure Auntie Charlie is safe.”

“We don’t want you to go either!” One sniffled into her shoulder, “Stay here with us.”

“Aw, you guys. That’s so sweet, but I’ve got to,” She squeezed them one more time before she stood, “But we will come back. I promise.”

“Can you make them stop fighting?”

“That’s what Puddles and I are here to do. Just be good little kittens and wait for us to be done, okay?”

The four of them nodded. Puddles and Charlie walked into the house to Navara throwing a plate across the front room. Puddles threw a splash of water to keep it from breaking against a wall.

“Why don’t you just rip my heart out?!”

“I’m not listening to you!” Davon yelled from the other side of the house.

“Listen. That is enough!” Charlie yelled loud enough that her voice shook the walls.

Puddles and Navara looked at her in bewilderment. Charlie covered her mouth with her hands and shook her head.

You discovered new spell: Command. Current level does not support complete spell.

Command: Your domineering voice causes those around you to obey your words. This spell is vocal and only reactive with strong emotions.

“Davon, come out here. We are going to sit down and talk!” She yelled down the hall.

“Don’t use a spell against—”

“I don’t know how it works yet,” She held up a hand, “Just, everyone take a deep breath and relax.”

The lion flinched as he walked into the living room. He struggled against her command as she pointed at a couch. Davon sat and lowered his head. She pointed to another section and Navara sat down.

“We are going to talk. Got it?”

“Are you going to keep them under that spell?” Puddles raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t know exactly how I’m doing it, so we’ll see,” Charlie sighed, “Now, Navara, you’ve said how you feel. Davon said how he felt. You were both yelling. That’s not constructive. So, we are at a stalemate. We are going to have family meeting to come up with compromises.”

“Compromise? I don’t need to compromise! I’m his mother!”

“And, Davon is his own person. How would you like it if your mother forced you to do something?”

“She did. She told me to be a priestess and it turned out fantastic for me,” The lioness threw her hands up and crossed her legs, “Davon would be perfectly happy here.”

“You’re worried he won’t want to come back?” Puddles asked.

“Of course I am! What if—what if they just didn’t want to come back?”

“Mother, of course I would want to come back!” Davon scoffed, “Why would you think that? I’m not going to abandon you. Dad would not have just abandoned you.”

The lions reached out to each other and held hands. Navara wiped tears from her eyes. Both of them visibly relaxed as Charlie took a deep breath.

You have released the Command spell.

“Navi, I asked Davon to come with us,” Charlie sat next to her, “I didn’t think about how that would make you feel. I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you about it first.”

“Why would you ask him to do that?”

“There’s not many people I trust around here. You, Davon, and Puddles are the only people that know what exactly is… ‘wrong’ with me,” She smiled softly, “I didn’t feel comfortable going with just Puddles and a bunch of people I don’t know. Davon’s been a good friend. It would make me feel safer.”

“You asked him? I thought Puddles just—” The lioness closed her eyes and rubbed her face down her snout.

“Charlie asked me. Puddles thought it was a good idea,” He frowned, “I tried to tell you that.”

“Davon told me about what happened to your family,” She grabbed her hand and squeezed lightly, “I promise I won’t let the same to happen to him.”

“How could you possibly promise that? You don’t know what your powers are!” Puddles snorted, “It would be all on me. I assure –”

“I threw myself in front of a godbeast to protect him, Navi,” Charlie laughed, “If I can’t bring him back, then he didn’t want to come back. There’s another reason I want him to come with me.”

“Why?” She raised an eyebrow.

“I promised to look into them: Tartus, Deli, Ragnar, and Quince. I plan to find them and bring them home,” She cupped the lioness’s snout in her hands, “I can’t do that unless I know someone who knows them. I doubt they would just come back with me.”

“Mother, let me go. At least to escort Charlie to Vlaminer and come back with Puddles,” He pleaded one last time.

“Once we get to Vlaminer, I will take them both to the assessment center and have him tested with her. He could get an attunement from one of the… better gods,” Puddles looked towards the floor.

“You are a great goddess, Puddles!” Navara said, “I’m sorry I tried to defy you earlier. I just… he’s my son. You know how I treasure my children. Especially after…”

“I know.”

“Okay. Davonthan, I… will allow this to be your pilgrimage – as long as you promise to return. Only to the attunement center and back.”

“Of course!” He threw his arms around his mother, “I want to come back for you, and for… Strixa.”

“I knew you had a thing for her!” Navi grinned slyly, “I’ll see what I can do while you’re gone.”

Charlie laughed, “Now that that is settled, we can finish packing and start our journey tomorrow.”