The Misadventures of a Terrestrial Anomaly

Charlie carefully unwrapped the cotton sack and pulled out the dark blue dress. She pointed to the lion and twirled her finger to signal him to turn around. He simply rolled his eyes and did so. She pulled the dress over her shoulders and was immediately annoyed with how long one sleeve was when there wasn’t another one. She stood and turned as the awkwardly outlined dress had a slit up to her waist at the side that was much higher than it needed to be. The plunging neckline she could get behind if she was going to a party, but she needed something to wear every day. The sunburn alone would make it difficult to keep.

“What the hell is this?”

“She said it was from a famous design in Filigor.”

“Maybe for a clubbing dress. How am I supposed to walk in this?” Charlie pulled at the four feet of trail behind her as she walked towards him, “Do you have scissors?”

Davon held up a hand and extended the claws from his fingernails. She turned him around and slid the razor-sharp talons along the fabric where she wanted it. The awkwardly long sleeve wrapped around her other side to look like a saree. The trail of fabric behind her was slit away at her calves to allow a bit freer movement. Squirt blew a bubble of water to float on until it brought him to her shoulder, where he shuffled against the fabric like a large broach. He sucked back in the water beneath him and purred happily when she scratched his head.

Charlie picked up the extra cloth and handed it to Davon. The lion furrowed his brow.

“Why are you handing me this?”

“To put back at your house. I assume I’m sleeping there again?”

“You stayed the night once and think you live there?” He laughed, “No. My mother gave you this room. You’ll stay here until you leave.”

“In that case, throw that back on the bed and I’ll deal with it later,” She waited for him to, “Let’s go get food.”

The temple, exhaustedly named “The Greater Ferigor Temple of Water Deities”, was an understated building compared to what she expected. It reminded Charlie of a log cabin with a singular room large enough for worship and a few offset for an infirmary, sleeping quarters, and so on. Most of the decals were beautiful blues and boring greys. Pastel paintings decorated walls and a white isle runner led them to the front of the temple.

The crowd that gathered outside was something she didn’t expect.

It had been a long time since Charlie found herself in front of a crowd like that. The last time, a tragedy struck and she had to react accordingly. Right now, everyone cheered as she waved. Squirt barked angrily as people approached and sprayed water. She tried hard not to laugh at the naughty behavior but admitted it was cute to see the little guy so protective of her.

“I see you made alterations to the dress I prepared for you,” The leopard bowed politely, “I apologize that it wasn’t up to your standards.”

Before she could speak, her new bodyguard stepped in.

“I believe Miss Charlie said she wanted to make her own dress,” Davon turned to give her a wink, “It is a shame we cannot see what she would have done with all the fabric available.”

“I am deeply sorry. Forgive me,” Veila placed her hands together in prayer, “I will send my son by later with more fabrics for you to use as much as you want of!”

Before she could say anything, he gripped her arm to keep her moving. A few other Leonie tried to hand her gifts, but Davon simply told them it wasn’t the time. Charlie appreciated that he did that, because Squirt threatened to use his breath more than once if she couldn’t make it through more than a few sentences with a person.

Once the unlikely trio made it to the market square, Charlie understood exactly why everyone treated her that way. Split down the side of the fountain, the earth caved in to a bottomless pit of sand. The triumphant, squirting duck precariously stood at the edge of the steep cut off to sand below. She whistled as they stepped into the healing mist.

You are under the effects of Fountain of Healing. Regeneration amplified due to blessing

“I get it now,” She looked at the crumbled building pieces in the sand, “And that’s the only fountain that can do the healing thing?”

“Yes. Puddles is enchanting another, but it takes a lot of energy and time for the ritual to cast properly. The goddess has to make a reservoir of purified water for it to draw from. It was apparently connected to the underground lake, but because of the wererabbits, she has to repurify all of it.”

“So, it’s completely okay to accept all the gifts and food that people are waiting to give me?” She slyly pointed out towards the awkward stalkers that waited for her to notice them, “Because I’m starving.”

“I’m fine with it. We’ll have to eat somewhere else. Nobody is supposed to be around here,” He looked into the giant pit of sand on the other side of the cliff, “We’re still figuring out if it’s safe.”

Charlie looked around to see if someone looked least likely to maul another Leonie if she asked for them for food. Then, she saw a familiar face.

“Hey Strixa!” She waved eagerly, “Nice to see you again.”

The tigress blinked in surprise and pointed at herself. The dumbfounded woman looked around before she walked towards them. Davon jerked his head to glare at Charlie as the woman approached them.

“What are you doing?” His angry whisper barely cared.

“Wanting to hang out with someone who you wouldn’t mind tagging along,” She winked and switched to a friendlier tone as the tigress approached, “Hey girl! We’re going to get some lunch. Want to join?”

“Ye-yes!” She nodded, “I don’t have much else going on.”

“How’s the—” Charlie paused as the realization of where the woman’s store now no longer existed, “How’s it going?”

“Well, I had to move back in with my parents,” She sighed.

“What happens to all your dyed fur?” She motioned to her arms, “You had big Lisa Frank vibes. It was cool.”

Davon furrowed his brow, “Lisa Frank?”

“Never mind,” She shook her head.

“My mother wouldn’t let me redye it after it washed out,” Strixa rolled her baby blue eyes, “So until I move out again, I’m stuck as a boring white tiger.”

A rascally grin spread across Charlie’s face. So much so, that Davon worried about what she would say next.

“Where do you get the dye?”

“I make it from fruits and things,” She shrugged, “It helps with the toys, too. Most cubs like to chew on flavored things.”

“Well, I’m hungry. Why don’t we get food?” Her stomach growled, “Feels like I haven’t eaten in a year.”

Squirt chirped in agreement. Strixa noticed the tiny turtle and cooed at him.

“Aw, look at this cute little guy,” She wiggled a finger at him, “Has he shocked anyone recently?”

“Shocked?” Charlie squinted her eyes at the creature, “He… he’s a turtle?”

Davon laughed, “You thought a godbeast just gave you a regular turtle?”

“Squirt, were you a bad boy?”

“Fraaaaaaw!” He cawed with an innocent tone that mimicked a sheepish no.

“What did you do?”

“Go on, show your master,” He circled his hand.

Squirt growled at Davon and reached his neck out to snap at him. A watery bubble formed around the turtle as he floated away from Charlie’s shoulder. With a little squeak from the adorably small creature, he grew to the size of a large dog and barked at Davon. Both versions of her new familiar had blue-grey skin with dark blue scales and a rusty brown shell. The most notable difference was Squirt changed from a sea turtle with fins to a land roaming tortoise.

“Squirt! I didn’t know you could change shape too!” Charlie laughed and patted his head, “Look at you! So versatile.”

He purred and closed his eyes in a big, animated smile. She ran her fingers along his shell. Odd, hidden runes glowed across each scute. Then, his throat bulged with a building blue light. Charlie remembered the crystals from the underground cave and her eyes grew.

“Holy shit.”

Squirt cawed and zapped Davon with an electric breath. He rolled onto his shell and barked in a way that sounded like demonic laughter. Strixa and Charlie cackled until the lion got back on his feet and scolded the turtle.

“What the hell? I didn’t even do anything!”

“You told him to show me!” She pounded a hand against her chest to stifle the cough, “Squirt, don’t do that unless I tell you to, okay?”

The turtle sadly whined before he walked over and head-butted Davon in a way Charlie only ever saw a cat do.

“Look! He’s saying he’s sorry,” Strixa snickered, “Forgive the little guy.”

Davon scrunched his face, “I’ll think about it.”

“Come in, Big Squirt. Let’s go back to Little Squirt now,” Charlie patted her shoulder.

He chirped happily and shrunk in a burst of water. The bubble floated up to her shoulder and popped as he nuzzled into her dress again.

“He’s so cute,” The tigress said, “Is it true he’s a divine familiar?”

“Apparently!” She said the same time the turtle chirped in agreement.

The group walked around to grab plates of food from the stalls still standing. Charlie and her friends ate free of charge. She carefully chose colorful berries, holding some up to Squirt for him to munch. She ate slowly, and not as much as she expected to before her chest and shoulders ached. After a few hours in the effects of the Healing Fountain, the last level of exhaustion faded.

“So, what’s this about a celebration?” She asked as they walked around the village.

“Oh, they’re planning to throw a party, is all,” Strixa shrugged, “We haven’t had one in a while.”

“But will there be booze?”

“Obviously!” The tigress laughed.

“My mother told everyone you were a bartender, so they’ve been trying to find drinks humans and Leonie can drink.”

“So, I get to get drunk with your mom?” She raised an eyebrow, “I’m in.”

“She was waiting for you to wake up to finish planning it,” He shrugged, “It’ll probably be in a couple of days.”

“Which means we have more than enough time for my next plan,” She chuckled as she tapped her fingers together, “Strixa, where do you live?”

“Just over there,” She said with a curious tone as she pointed, “Why?”

“Well, I kept a couple of these,” Charlie pulled some berries out of a ruffle of her dress, “And I’m, like, a huge hero around here, right?”

Davon looked between the women as the tigress seemed to get what the other said.

“I’m in.”

“You have to get Davon in,” Charlie shrugged, “I think it’d work better.”

“Oh, I’m so in.”

He blushed as Strixa grabbed his hand and pulled him towards her house. She skipped after them and giggled at the lion’s stunned reaction.

“Honestly, I think he should go first,” She said as they entered the house.

Two tigers stood angrily before they saw Charlie. They bowed immediately and mumbled greetings.

“It’s lovely to meet you. Please, you don’t have to bow. You’re Strixa’s parents?” She shook the orange tiger’s hand, “You should be so proud of her. Honestly, one of the kindest Leonie I have ever met. She’s such a sweet woman.”

The other white tiger, her mother, titled her head and looked between the women, “How do you know our daughter, Miss Charlotte?”

“Please, please, just Charlie is fine!” She held up her hands friendly, “I went shopping with Davon and his siblings to her store. Running that place by herself? A miracle, really, that she had any free time to chat with us.”

“We were quite proud of her for that,” The father said, “It’s a shame it fell to that sinkhole.”

“It is,” She held a hand to her chin, “I’m sorry if we’re imposing! The last time I saw Strixa, she had dyed hair. I used to have mine done regularly but it’s been a while since I’ve found someone talented enough. I just thought –”

“Oh, Charlie you should have told me that’s why—” The tigress out her hands over her snout, “My mother and father—”

“You know, I wondered when you were going to dye your hair next. I didn’t know you were waiting for Miss Charlie!” Her mother clapped, “Here, let me set some space up for you all to work.”

“Really, Mom? That’s surprising. Considering—”

“Davon here even wanted some streaks in his mane,” Charlie grabbed a hand full of it, “I’m thinking red?”

It was then that Davon realized the odd telepathic message between them was about him. He simply nodded and accepted that he would have to scrub his mane more thoroughly the next few times he bathed.

“I’m thinking some blue streaks for me,” She twirled her finger in her sandy brown hair, “What about you, Strixa?”

“I wanted some pink and purples!”

“Perhaps I should join as well,” Her mother moved a table into the room.

Strixa squeaked in surprise, “Really?”

“Well, if Miss Charlie thinks it is a valuable asset, perhaps I should partake as well.”