The Human From a Dungeon

Emperor Jak Norev I

Adventurer Level: N/A

Dwarf - Calkutin

Rayzun's introduction took nearly ten minutes to complete, and most of that was because of my propensity for collecting titles. Ulurmak and Olmira had nearly as many, but I guess that makes sense for the ruler of another nation and a multi-centuries old vampire. Olmira looked the same as the last time I'd laid eyes on her, nearly thirty years prior.

Liath had a decent number of titles, which is to be expected of his exploits. Conversely, the orcs from the Alta family hard barely any titles, and the human didn't have a single one. I struggled not to stare at him for the entire introduction, and succeeded for the most part. A couple of glances here and there managed to wiggle past my self-control, though.

The human's an odd lookin' thing, his hands and general shape are similar to what I imagine a tall gnome might look like. But that's where the similarities to gnomes end. It has a jawline nearly identical to that of an elf and some of its teeth look like a drow's. On top of that, it's musculature is similar to an orcs, though orcs tend to be a bit larger. The most shocking detail to me, though, is that it also has the round earlobes that you only see in dwarves.

I would easily believe that he's an amalgamation of the various races, were it not for the roundness of the top of his ears and his alleged origin. An alien from another world, magically teleported here parts unknown. Despite his earlier evasiveness, a little pressing had caused Ulurmak to practically gush various facts about the human. A refreshing bit of candor from High Chief 'see-for-yourself' Ulurmak.

The human eats both meat and vegetables, which is odd enough. Though, I could have guessed at this fact by its teeth. Even odder, though, is that it has thus far leveled up far faster than normal. This could be indicative of either an advanced education, or the Curaguard showing favoritism outside of a royal line for the first time in history.

Finally, it had killed a monster that nearly destroyed a team of over-twenties. A monster that may have been a corrupted version of its own race. The look on my face at hearing that last fact had caused Ulurmak's caginess to return.

I glanced at Liath, who was also studying the human. He had met it before, but desperately wanted to know how it awoke King Yssinirath. The dwarven not-quite-spy had practically begged me to allow him to accompany me. In exchange for an unnamed future favor, I had allowed it.

Once Rayzun finished his overly-long introduction, the four in front of us began their debriefing. I listened in disbelief as they recounted their travels. The story was primarily told by the Alta brothers and the human, Olmira had joined their party on the latter portion of the journey.

The human spoke with an eloquence that could rival that of a duke, but with far less profanity than is typical in my empire. This lent credence to the idea that he had been educated, but by whom? What kind of teacher would educate a being like this without simultaneously turning him into a research project?

Despite his eloquence and formalities, though, his story was full of holes and time-skips that indicated it was likely trying to hide something. This was further evidenced by Nick wringing his hands when an obvious omission occurred during the narrative. I could tell by the tension slowly creeping into Ulurmak's shoulders that I wasn't the only one who noticed.

"Once the translators arrived, we made our way back here to report to you, High Chief," the human said.

"Hmm..." Ulurmak crossed his arms. "I confess that I do not know you well, Nick, but I suspect that the events you just elucidated have been heavily redacted."

"There were some happenings that were not relevant to the mission, your greatness," Yulk said, bowing his head. "Happenings that are rather... sensitive to our charge, I'm afraid."

"And how am I to know for certain these happenings are irrelevant when I am not to know of what they are?"

"Teasing does not befit one of your station, High Chief," Olmira the Eternal said, crossing her arms to match Ulurmak's posture. "Consider the likelihood that the Alta's would endanger the United Chiefdoms."

The massive orc and domineering vampire stared at one another for a few moments. I'd argued with the both of them before, but hadn't seen them argue among themselves. I absentmindedly rubbed the thick golden hoop in my left earlobe as I tried to guess who would give ground first. Everyone else in the room looked as if they'd been shown their graves, though. After a few seemingly tense moments, Ulurmak laughed uproariously, which caused a few flinches.

"I knew you'd spoil my fun the moment you walked in, Olmira. She's right, boys. I'm having a bit of levity at your expense," he explained. "I am content to let you have your secrets so long as they don't come back to bite me on the rump."

"They won't, sir..." Nick trailed off. "Wait, you don't plan to attack the fair folk any time soon, do you?"

"I... What? No!" Ulurmak answered incredulously. "First of all, the only fair folk we're aware of are on good terms with us. Second, it would be a damned foolish thing to do, regardless of our relationship with them. They help keep the monster population manageable. Third, how in the hells do you know about the fair folk?"

The Alta brothers sighed simultaneously whilst the human attempted to fabricate a plausible explanation. The explanation carefully dodged the reasons that the group had met with the fair folk, as well as some of the crucial details that had been discussed during that meeting. The only real detail he gave were the names of the fair folk involved, which caused me to involuntarily snort.

Ulurmak looked over his shoulder at me. Once he met my gaze, he smirked and rolled his eyes. Then he turned back to Nick and the orcs with a much sterner expression.

"Well, I've never heard of Algebrun or... Tits... But Mumuldobran is a name that I know well. It is a representative of the fair-folk of the Deepwyld Forest, most of which is within the domain of the Unified Chiefdoms," Ulurmak explained. "We have a great many agreements with the fair-folk of the Deepwyld Forest. It would not be an exaggeration to say that a threat to them is a threat to us."

"W-well, High Chief, they seemed confident that they have the situation under control," Nick said.

"That is not for you to decide, but I can see you are determined to keep this secret. Well then, let's try this," Ulurmak clapped his massive hands. "Yulk Alta, by the authority of the Office of the High Chief of the United Chiefdoms, I hereby order you to tell me of your journey in full, unadulterated detail. Failure to comply will result in your arrest and a punishment of up to fifteen years in prison."

"What about his mom?" Liath asked.

"Oh, she'll understand," Ulurmak said. "The Alta clan is mostly law-abiding and very honorable. By refusing this order, Yulk will be breaking the law. She may protest, perhaps even smack me upside the head, but she'll take no action to prevent his incarceration."

"I understand, sir," Yulk said calmly. "I invoke the right of confidence."

The right of confidence is an orc law passed by Ulurmak's grandfather. It allows one to refuse to answer questions that may compromise the security of the Unified Chiefdoms in the presence of one who may reveal those secrets to an enemy. My rage was immediate and blinding.

"What in the hells is that supposed to mean?" I demanded. "You think I can't be trusted with your little secrets? I'm an emperor! I know secrets that would cause the hair to flee from your head, boy!"

"My apologies for the insult, Emperor. Your highness is not the reason for my invocation, though."

My temper cooled as Yulk looked pointedly at the dwarf to my left. Liath chuckled and stood up, brushing off his pants.

"Fair enough," he said. "I'll see myself out."

"Hold on," Ulurmak said, holding up a hand. "The right of confidence is non-applicable. Liath is an official friend of the Unified Chiefdoms. If what you're about to say can be said in front of the emperor, it can be said in front of Liath. No offense, emperor."

"Some taken," I growled.

"But he sells information," Nash argued before realizing his blunder.

Before Ulurmak could chastise him, Liath laughed.

"That I do, Nash, but I've got honor. Of a sort. If a friend swears me to secrecy, it will be a secret that I keep."

There was a moment of silence as Yulk contemplated how to proceed.

"Understood," he finally said.

As Liath sat down, Yulk began to tell us what actually happened during their journey. We listened intently to the entirety of the tale of gods and fae in shock. A spark of paranoia lit within me when I learned that Nick is a touched, but I quickly quelled it.

It isn't as if there's much harm in the gods watching us, and the only methods of trying to prevent their surveillance would only guarantee their ire. The ire of the gods is obviously best avoided at all costs. Still, I didn't feel happy about it.

"And once the messengers left, we made our way here," Yulk said.

"Well, I can see why you decided to keep that a secret," Ulurmak uncrossed his arms. "However, it is a good thing you told me. I've got an inkling as to who may attack the fair folk, and there might be something we can actually do about it."

The Night Kingdom is the most likely culprit. Lofin's dumb enough to try a sneak attack against the fair folk, but he'd likely fail due to the typical incompetency of his armies. The vampires, on the other hand, are crafty enough to succeed, and are likely desperate.

"There might be, indeed," I said, rubbing my chin.

"Alright, I think that's enough," Ulurmak said. "You four are on your way to Calkuti now, right?"

"Yes, High Chief," Yulk said.

"Liath, did you come by hnarse or cart?"

"He came by cart. Since I was expecting a fight, I came by hnarse," I answered, glaring at the spoiled dwarf.

"I only know how to drive a hnarse, your eminence," Liath held up his hands defensively. "I've never ridden one before."

"So you say."

"It is good that you arrived by cart," Ulurmak interrupted. "You can depart the same way, and give these four a ride into Calkuti. Unless the emperor has an objection?"

"No objections from me. Just keep your noses clean while you're in my country," I said with a wave of my hand.

A knock came from the door, and Rayzun poked his head in. Ulurmak nodded at him.

"The elves have arrived. General Makiv is waiting to see you."

"He'll not have to wait long. Yulk, Nash, Olmira, Nick, and Liath, you're dismissed. Safe journeys."

Liath raised an eyebrow, but followed the rest out of the room. I sighed, having figured out what's coming next. Simple math, really. We have one dwarven army, an orcish army, an elven army, and a mutual enemy to the north.

Rayzun entered the office with General Makiv in tow. It had been a long time since I'd seen the elven general, and unlike Olmira he had aged. His hair was a lighter color and there was a slight crinkle around his eyes. It reminded me of my own forthcoming golden years.

"Introductions won't be necessary this time, Rayzun," Ulurmak said with a wave of his hand. "How are you, Makiv?"

"I'm great. It's been a while since I was on the road," the general said as Rayzun left. "Wish you'd let him do the intro, though. I've got a new title."

"Oh?"

"Dragon's General, on account of King Yssinirath's awakening. I only just learned about it the other day," Makiv laughed.

"An excellent title. Well, I assume my messenger told you of the fate of the drow invasion?"

"Indeed he did," Makiv took a seat. "However, my men need fed and watered, so we finished our trek regardless. And since we're here, I had an idea."

"Lead an invasion into the Night Kingdom and force Lofin into a lasting treaty?" I asked with a smirk.

"Y-yes, emperor. I take it you're of a similar mind?"

"No, I'd rather raze that damned country to the ground and split the land evenly amongst us."

"We can decide what to do with the Night Kingdom's holdings once we beat it," Ulurmak chuckled. "But first, we have an invasion to plan."