The Girl Wants to Be M*rdered

A friendly family to welcome the girl back.

Warm food waiting for the fatigued adventurer.

Even the lively antics of the animals welcoming their long-lost owner.

Simple, yet everyone could definitely agree it is happiness.

Everything I will make sure to deliver to you.

Because─

“─You deserve to be happy.”

“….Hii?!”

Clap.

Slowly, as Alice trembled and backed away, her back hit the transparent greenhouse wall.

Seeing she had nowhere to retreat, despair marked her face as she looked back, and inhaled sharply at my approach.

Believing that this distance was surely close enough for my feelings to reach Alice, as if to ensure my thoughts would get transmitted without distortion.

I gently enunciated each word.

“No… don’t. Look, look! I can’t even hold anything with this hand now…!”

“I’ll be your ears, your hands, your arms, and legs.”

Alice even revealed the shocking truth.

Stating that she had issues with her hearing and everything I thought she was pretending to be aloof was because of that.

Yet believing that this was a lie of sorts, wishing that it was just a boast to escape the situation—that wasn’t the case.

I genuinely accepted her words.

Yeah, I get it now.

You’ve struggled a lot, Alice.

I will help everyone.

─Step.

“So come with me.”

“Ah… no…! This isn’t right… Unnie… this isn’t it!!”

Yet I couldn’t stop my steps, feeling my heart ache for the secrets Alice had been hiding.

Now so close, to the degree where not even a fist could fit between, I felt our hearts beating in sync.

“That’s the problem, Sia Unnie! My sight… my sight is blurring now! At this rate, I’ll only be a useless child…!!”

“People are not defined by their usefulness.”

I was like that at first.

Really not useful at all, just a being consuming food, as Saelli once described.

But now, look at me!

Just as everyone knows, having succeeded, now I earn my own money, having moved up to a place where I’m respected.

It’s all thanks to you, Alice.

─Clap.

And I finally took that last step.

“Now I can only be a burden to my sisters!”

“──You’re not a burden!!!”

“Huh?!”

Screaming.

I gripped Alice tightly.

Feeling her cool body transmit against my clothing from the warmth of the greenhouse.

Despite her weak protests, pushing at me with one arm, I ignored it and held her tighter.

Don’t run away, Alice.

I still have so much to tell you.

Both good and evil.

Right and wrong.

Good things and bad things.

None of those matter here and now.

To embrace a crying child is to fulfill a need that doesn’t require thought.

It is simply something that one must do as a human.

I started speaking.

“Alice, actually, I’ve died once and come back to life.”

“…..Huh?”

A sudden revelation.

Something I’d never shared with anyone.

Who would believe that when narrated, only to be my private memory?

I quietly and vividly replayed those eighteen films in my mind.

“I was living pretty aimlessly, then suddenly, I met you.”

“…..Why?”

Once, I believed that my second life was merely a curse.

Stuck in a hamster wheel, unable to do this or that, merely following the movement around me.

Unable to find any value in anything, I had put my life up on the scales.

I thought it was a divine curse merely meant to torment me.

“I’d already lived once, with no regrets….”

“……Why?”

“So, I didn’t have anything in particular I wanted, and while chasing only amusement, I ended up here.”

ㅡBut now it’s different.

I have realized why I had to begin this second life in a world whose name I didn’t even know.

If this was the preparation made by the world for us, Alice and me,

I want to boldly shout to the world—Good job!

“I’ll live my second life for you. So you can be happy, to smile and live happily. If that’s not possible, then I’ll share my happiness with you.”

“……Why me…?”

“─Because I like you.”

A second life that seemed like it shouldn’t have a reason.

Yet, everything in the world surely has its reasons for being.

I realized that fact.

A second life.

“It seems this was a blessing meant for me.”

“…….How… how….”

I made a decision.

I firmly gripped the goal of the world.

The value of my life.

The mission I must take on in the future.

All of it.

I will choose.

“Therefore, Alice.”

“………..”

Don’t cry.

Your smiling face is what suits you best.

*

And so, we—the two girls named Sia and Aris Akaia—

Amidst the empty greenhouse, embraced one another, weeping and howling desperately.

Fatigue set in, and we fell asleep atop the flowerbed, holding each other.

Ending our imperfect story, filled with holes without fully knowing each other’s hearts.

Quietly, yet warmly, promising to face whatever future may come.

In front of everyone awaiting our late return.

Neither crying nor smiling, but with the warmest expressions of all.

“Sia Unnie, you’re such a fool.”

“…Haha.”

“…A fool who doesn’t know a person’s heart.”

Hopeful, we were.

*

Nothing had been resolved.

All truths remained beneath the veil, and the darkness created by the eternal cycle of reincarnation lay cloaked below the surface.

Yet with a tiny flickering candle, that could easily be extinguished by a breath, glimmered brightly in the darkness.

In that place where only the number of spirits lied, a new number, one, could be established.

Life being one.

*

Episode 4. Reunion.

The end.

“This conclusion is just too irresponsible; it could neither be happiness nor sadness.”

None had truly been established.

However, as it was so irresponsible that no one knew.

That ending’s name could finally become──hope.

*

Like a mysterious box whose contents remain unknown.

Thus, everything could be imagined to exist within it.

Just like a truly magical box.

*

“The bittersweet tale concludes here.”

Hello, I am the author, Yeosiljeonghaeng.

“Did you enjoy the story of the girl who doesn’t value life and the four girls who once lost their values but regained them?”

I am incredibly pleased to wrap up the novel in this manner.

“What might happen to the children afterward?”

Eighty installments! Four chapters worth of story.

It has been a long and winding time for me, yet perhaps a brief moment for all you readers.

“What will the remaining people do from here on out?”

From the day I posted the first chapter, I never put the novel down. Even on days I didn’t write, I thought of the next story every minute and second.

I let my hands rest, and the novel may have had its shortcomings, but I’m truly grateful to everyone who has been with me so far.

“That, I do not know well either.”

From Aris, Sia, and Elli, to Remi and Anna.

Everyone who appeared in this piece was my persona, and therefore, a piece of me.

“As mentioned in the first endings, maybe everyone could perish, or be temporarily happy like in the second conclusion, or face both as in the last.”

They were born only for me, and in turn, I was born only for them. When they acted, I took it down, and when I wrote, they acted.

What the author of Don Quixote said was truly the case.

I loved them.

“Because they can do anything.”

The plot of this story stems from a simple premise written in the first chapter: What would happen if everyone was reborn with memories of their past lives?

The diminished value of life.

Painting a picture of a person sacrificing their own life to prevent someone else from suffering, as if one were to save another’s life at the cost of their own.

Well, perhaps that reflects how I’ve lived my own life.

“Whether they want to do something or not, they can choose freely. Whatever they choose, that’s their choice.”

To be honest, I never expected so much attention would gather around this. I simply wanted to write what I wanted and capture my own life, thinking that no one would take an interest in such a jumbled and chaotic narrative.

“It may sound irresponsible, but why does it feel more beautiful and genuine than simply ending with ‘happily ever after’?”

However, as the attention, support, encouragement, and advice from readers continued, I noticed my value system began to change.

I learned the simple truth that one can truly write a novel they want to read.

“Perhaps because that’s what real life is.”

The unknown.

It can be the most frightening yet beautiful thing.

“Well.”

Yep.

“Here, the stories of those five come to an end.”

The novel, ends here.

“Aris, Elli, Sia, Remi, and Anna will each walk their own paths.”

There may be epilogues or after-stories in the future, but the tale of the girl ‘Aris’ wraps up here.

So then,

“To every reader who lived through my story.”

To all the readers who’ve supported my novel for so long,

“Thank you very much.”

Thank you, everyone.

*

*

*

Clap Clap.

Above the city now devoid of life, a dark blue twilight settled in.

Scavengers, wandering like hyenas, scavenged, rifling through the trash, while vagabonds, with hungry eyes scavenging in the shadowy alleys, returned to their homes, locking the doors tight like promised.

The time of twilight was upon us, where the world would be cloaked in darkness and humanity would fade away.

The roamers, lacking even the slightest refuge, gathered beneath the streetlights, exuding weak beams of light like moths drawn to a flame, praying with closed eyes for the night to pass.

The old city, devoid of rules and regulations, was once again nearing its end.

But, sadly.

Truly, sadly.

─Clap Clap!

“──Hah, ah.”

My day had hardly even begun.

Each step racked with pain, renewing itself with every move.

How I wished to grow accustomed to it.

The agony was akin to a heated skewer piercing my body, or a hand penetrating my gut and tearing my insides; it was the kind of pain one could never get used to.

Anyone who considered such suffering commonplace had either lost their senses or their mind—it was definitely one or the other.

Ultimately, as the relentless anguish continued to cling, my lips, which had been sealed tightly against uttering a sound, parted, and I couldn’t help but let out a moan.

Hah, escaping my lips like a small scream.

Had someone been listening closely, they wouldn’t have missed the sound that would blend with the whistling wind and fade away.

But, in my misfortune, that subtle noise likely became the best landmark for those who made a living in silence.

─Clap Clap!!

“───They’re close!!”

“……ㅡ,ㅡ.”

Damn, those freaking bastards.

I had only let out a small sound.

Just a faint sound.

With the approach of footsteps resembling zombie hordes, I bit back the curse, gnashing my teeth inside.

What floated in my mind at that moment was that damned boy’s face.
‘…You… You bastard!?’
‘Haha. This is rather effective, isn’t it? Well, you’re human too, right? If you get stabbed, it doesn’t matter if you’re a lady—─you’ll die.’

As he punctured my stomach, the shock left me dumbfounded.

Even when the knife sank in, I was stuck in disbelief.

No, perhaps what I felt was betrayal.

Whether I should be glad about my luck or claim mere occurrence had played me wrong, thankfully, I’d managed to escape that spot with help from a few nearby subordinates, but it seemed that twisted bastard was well-prepared for whatever was cooking.

Just how long had he been preparing for this?

A year ago? Two years ago? Or maybe it even started from my first meeting with him?

As time passed, instead of diminishing, the number of those chasing me increased.

Damn it.

“…..ㅡ….ㅡ.”

Rumors suggested something fishy, but still, since he had performed well as a capo beside my father for the past ten years, the suspicions faded with time.

However, it was just after my father passed that he decided to stir up some shit.

Should have caught on when he wore that smirk. ─

─Clap!

“…..!?”

Oh.

─Thud!

In an instant, I stumbled over a rock and lost my balance, collapsing to the ground.

The wild grass towering over me reached to the waist of an adult, densely growled in the park’s outskirts.

Fortunately, the ground was made of a rubbery material, so I suffered no major injury, but even a small shock like that felt monumental against my body.

Naturally, the pain from the wound I had been stuffing my hand into to stop the bleeding in my stomach returned with strength.

─Twist, Twist.

“…..ㅡ….ㅡㅡ!!”

I writhed on the ground, just like a worm underfoot, in agony, unsuccessfully trying to keep quiet.

Damn it.

When I get back, they’re all dead.

When I return… everyone!?

“……ㅡ!…ㅡ!”

─Gwaaaak.

I bit my tongue in an effort to suppress the pain, attempting to remain silent.

And slowly, wondering if my fall would be heard and lead them here, I crawled into the flowerbed.(which had grown abundantly) to hide.

This pitch-black darkness would momentarily conceal my form.

Sadly, I had no cell phone or any reliable means of summoning help.

The guy had asked for phones at the entrance, “hand it over,” he said.

Though it seemed a bit suspicious, as he didn’t take any weapons, I dismissed it thinking it was just for security.

How foolish.

Well, knowing even if I had one, would I be able to communicate at this moment?

“………”

My hands were covered in blood, trembling wildly.

Only faint moans escaped my lips.

Trying to grip something was beyond my capacity.

I gazed down at my stomach.

My white dress shirt had already torn in several places, with blood gushing forth and mingling with dirt that came from rolling around.

While it hadn’t pierced any vital organs, with a wound like this, I probably wouldn’t last much longer.

And in those back alley clinics that could save my life, his minions were surely lying in wait.

The man had a good head on him.

Damn it, he’s crafty.

“……..”

I accepted death in my mind.

I calmly came to terms with my impending mortality.

Knowing this was what true defeat felt like, I had no choice but to resign myself.

Though I wasn’t born a certified genius, I wasn’t a complete dimwit either.

No matter how I thought about it, I saw no way to resolve this situation.

Even if I burned with anger, moved my body with hatred, I accepted there was no solving this.

“…Stars twinkle brightly, damn it.”

Thus, instead of regret, I lifted my head to stare at the sky.

Now, as the evening glow had faded, without any illumination, I gazed across the star-speckled expanse.

In my heart, I pledged, waiting patiently in hell for that bastard.

I promised I would reserve the best view and hottest spot.

I thought of each constellation, envisioning their mark, chuckling softly to find release.

“…..Hah.”

So.

I waited slowly for death to come to me.

And then, to me.

“──Unnie, what are you doing over there?”

“─?!”

A voice, slightly childish.

A girl’s voice that should not be heard in this place echoed.

What would follow would begin our first encounter.

[“Hey…! Ugh!! This place isn’t, a hospital, is it!? Ah, damn it, it hurts!! Well, at least you did well keeping me out of the hospital..!!”]
[“…..Huh? Isn’t this a hospital?”]
[“This is an ‘animal hospital’…! Ugh, damn it..! Did I even know places like this existed…?”]

Once, calling herself ‘Aris’—though currently without a name—told me.
[“…Aris. What did you pick up this time?”]
[“Hehe, Mi-hyang Unnie~ I brought a hurt animal!”]
[“The wildcat the day before, the boar yesterday, and now… a human. I wonder what you’ll bring tomorrow… Hah, let’s at least get this person inside.”]
[“Okay~”]
[“…don’t, even ask for my opinion──Ugh!?”]

An oddly unique girl with a strange, if not disjointed, mind.
[“Unnie~!” “Aris Unnie~!” “Sis, are you hurt anywhere!? I brought a strange unnie with me~!” “Next to her… what kind of person is that…?”]
[“──This is my treasure.”]
[“…..You.”]
[“It’s my very own ‘orphanage’ for abandoned and forsaken children!”]

And that was the beginning.