The Girl Wants to Be M*rdered

Maybe I never truly accepted this world.
This world is a lie.
What I’m feeling right now is just a one-night dream.

“Wow!! What is this!?”
“It’s called an igloo… uh, I guess it’s a house made of snow?”
“Sia unnie is amazing!!”

Nation. Gender. Ego. Ethnicity. Religion. Knowledge. Belief. Language. Values.
No matter what exists, my essence limited to ‘a Sia’ will never change.
It has transcended the world and has been with my soul.

That’s why it was unavoidable.
Unless I let go of my slowly built identity from my past life, I could never blend into this world.

If the world denies my essence, then I shall deny this world.
For someone like me, who has lived with that notion, this world was a place I couldn’t get accustomed to.

“Ugh! Sled—!!”
“Kyaaahhh!!”
“Hold on tight—!!”

The choice made by the parents of this world, who had abandoned me and now I can’t even remember their names or faces, might have been the right one.
I could never consider them my real parents, no matter what happened.
They abandoned me before I could abandon them.
That was just a boring story.

Yeah.
How nice it would be if everything was settled like that.
How nice it would be if it was the end of my new life!

But, comically enough.
Even I think it’s pathetic.

I wanted a little bit of affection.

swish, swish.
“Get in! Get in! Get in—!!”
“…This kid, has some unusual talent in curling!?”
“It went in!!! Hehe!”

Now our promised place is covered in pure white snow.
The chilly wind blows gently from the mountainside.
Alice waited for me with a beaming smile every day, unfazed by the biting cold.

And today was no different.
The child with silvery hair and fair skin couldn’t be hidden by the pure white world.
I thought it funny to say Alice looked like a snow fairy from a fantasy world.
Well, it really seemed plausible.

“Today was fun.”
“It was so much fun~!!”

Even with the different appearance than others,
Even with new knowledge and games that had no origin,
She was the friend who accepted all of me.
My one and only Alice.

“Hehe~!!”
“Hahaha!!”
We hugged each other, sharing our warmth.
Though our warm bodies might not have been felt through our thick clothing,
The warmth rising deep within our hearts said our actions mattered.

Yeah.
This was it.
This was it.

I always hoped.
Affection, love, caring.
I wanted what we commonly call love.

A life abandoned by parents, where no warm neighbors existed.
Crawling on the ground to avoid being abandoned by them.
In such a rotten world, I thought it was my rightful claim for trying so hard.

“Ah. Really, it feels great.”
But I was wrong.
Love wasn’t simply an object one receives from someone.

Right.
From the beginning, I had thought wrong.

“Sia unnie—I missed you!!!”
“Alice!!”
To understand and help others, and to yearn for them.
“Ew? Unnie, are you hurt!? Let me see!!”
“Uweeeh… H-help me… Alice..”
“Hooh… Huh? Why are you smiling, Unnie?”

To treasure someone and hold them more precious than life itself.
“Ta-da!! I found a heart-shaped stone while thinking of you, I’ll give it to you!!”
“…….”
“Hm? Unnie, are you crying?”
“No… no, I’m….”

And to genuinely enjoy all of that.

No one defines love as something one receives.
Of course not.
If you want to be loved, then love.
Just like that, love is about giving, not receiving.

Autumn and winter.
Two seasons that passed faster than ever.
Snow fell heavily, as if wanting to dye the world in its color.

While savoring that sweet chill, I prayed.
For the affection received from the child standing before me like a painting.
That which has an immeasurable worth.
Though I have nothing to boast about, I wanted to return at least a fraction of it to this child.

So—
‘This hand…’
When I heard Alice’s small answer to my question about her wound,
It was like a joyful event, a happy memory, spoken in a voice free of any darkness—when I heard such a confession from a child that I found so sad, ugly, and wished to turn away from.
“I see, huh.”

I was wrapped in terrible emotions but at the same time, tiny happiness.
I could finally repay the child.
Not just receiving, but also being able to give.
Even someone like me could love.

That’s what I thought.

“Uh—what’s going on…!!”
“…Ugh… Huh?”
Thump, thump, thump.

A frantic knocking echoed in the ears of me, who had been deep in sleep.
Rolling on a pile of straw, I moved to greet my annoying visitor calling my name.

Maybe because I moved quickly? Some straw fell onto the ground. Ugh, I’ll have to clean that up later.

“Yeah~ I’m coming, I’m coming.”
Despite my words, the banging only grew louder.
“—Hahn!! Wake up, hurry!!”
“…Uh… Rumié?”
The moment I heard her voice, I knew who the visitor was.
No one would bother coming to this small shed just to see me, and I’d heard that voice too many times before.

Rumié.
But that only made my curiosity grow.
Her voice was frantic and urgent.
It hardly seemed like the calm, composed Rumié.

“…What’s going on?”
First, I quickly tidied up my messy hair and put on some clothes to meet her.
I didn’t know what was happening, but Rumié kept calling my name and insisting I open the door without waiting a moment.
Ugh…
I’ll be out.

Less than a minute later, the door of the shed swung open.
Click.
“—So slow!!”
The sound of the locked door opening was a faint, dispiriting noise compared to the banging from outside.
And just like that, Rumié burst into the shed, breathing heavily as if she had been waiting.

I was startled at her sweaty appearance, but Rumié wasted no time and began speaking.
And her words were enough to send my mind spiraling to Andromeda.

“Hahn, quickly leave this village!!”
“…Huh…?”
“Stop talking! Don’t bother gathering anything, just get out fast!!”

Really?
I couldn’t keep up with what was happening, stammering confusedly.
Rumié grasped my collar tightly.
My body, still weak from just waking up, was dragged along by her strong hands.
I wanted to solve this rationally with conversation, but Rumié, with her bloodshot eyes, ignored my opinion.
I was too scared to resist.
sigh…

Rumié didn’t answer my questions about the situation, only issuing pointed commands.
What’s happening?
Get out of the village.
Why?
You don’t need to know the reason.
What should I do…?
Just quickly try to run away.

It felt like talking to a wall.
My heart was… well, it was a wall, but cough.
There was no explanation, no hints in her story to indicate what was happening in the village.
Still, propelled by the bond of trust with Rumié, the person I relied on most in this village, I stepped out of my hideout without grabbing even the simplest of supplies.

Well, she probably wouldn’t do anything harmful to me.

That trust made it possible.

Tap, tap, patter.
In the early morning before the sun had risen.
The sound of our footsteps echoed through the empty village.
“…..Is there no one? Where did everyone go?”
“……..”
Though it should have been the busiest time of day, the streets were deserted, as if foreshadowing what was about to happen.
Countless eyes had stared at me with a chilling gaze yesterday.
No, it felt even stronger now, a huge sense of unease.

With that prickling sensation in my head, I ran quickly after Rumié while questioning her about what was happening.
At least, couldn’t I get some reason or context?

“…..Hah.”
Her firmly shut mouth showed no sign of opening, but my continual nagging finally led her to wave the white flag.
Having a goalkeeper doesn’t mean a ball won’t enter the goal.

“So, what’s going on? You can at least tell me why—”
I seized the moment, breaking through her defenses.
That effort could be considered an effort.
The answer that came was one that transcended all my expectations.

“—Witch trial.”
“Eh?”
“Or maybe, hunting.”
What, hunting?
The word echoed in my mind.
Despite having heard it with my ears, my brain couldn’t process it all.
What does a trial, hunting have to do with the situation now?
Is there a witch?
Is that witch the one I know?
Is it related to me?

I struggled to understand the words I heard, but I just stood there, blank.
“Listen carefully, Hahn. Right now, the villagers suspect you of being a ‘witch.’”
“Me…?”
A witch…
…Who?
…Me?
“Anyway, there’s a rough way to resolve this, so you—”

The more I listened to Rumié’s words, the more my head spun.
I felt short of breath, and the edges of my vision began to darken.
What exactly is she saying?
What’s happening to me?
Rumié’s urgent and composed words were too confusing for a fool like me to fully comprehend, but—
I realized one thing.
This situation was very bad.
The worst of my life.

About to experience something as terrible as the horrendous death I faced in my first life.
And now something just as horrific is about to unfold in this second life.
And—

“Now you must run—”

That was—

“—Found you. There’s the witch!!!”

“……!!”
It has now come.