LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 37
The only way to soothe a child who constantly craves affection is to keep giving it to them until they are satisfied. Until they say it’s okay. Give them such sweet affection that it melts their brain.
“And then, when the time comes, take it away—”
Then the child will stand up on their own strength.
When I was young, there was a time when my feet got stuck deep in the tidal flats. No matter how much I struggled, my feet showed no sign of coming out, and instead, my body was being pulled in harder. What I thought was an action to escape actually pulled me deeper in.
Right. Gradually getting pulled into an irremediable situation. Exactly what I’m experiencing now.
“…Alice, how can I die without pain?”
“Sia Unnie, do you know you’ve been saying that for a week?”
“I do.”
“Then that’s a relief.”
I threw a fabric over myself and screamed. Uwaaaah, the sound echoed deep in the mountains like a fading cry.
Uwaaaaah
Uwaah
Eeh
I was trying to shake off the embarrassment, guilt, and regret inside me, but those emotions kept generating endlessly like an infinite power source, as if they were violating the first law of thermodynamics. Emotion must be the true eco-friendly energy, I couldn’t help but think.
Arghhh!!!
When I closed my eyes, the scene from that time came rushing back, and when I looked at the scenery around me, the words from that moment surfaced anew.
Why do such embarrassing memories stick in my head so well? The things I memorized with desperation during school never stayed in my mind, but these incidents torturously lingered without missing a single word.
Bang bang, mysterious sounds rang out every night from my bed.
I won’t mention the identity for personal protection.
Because of that, my straw blanket has become so worn that it’s hard to recognize its shape.
And I got scolded by the owner.
Hmph.
At this point, I’d rather be dead…..
“Um…’You too, in front of people, will eventually abandon me,’ right…”
Chough!? A-Alice?
“‘—Don’t lie!!!'”
Cough!!
My outburst began suddenly, but Alice, who was next to me, continued picking flowers as if it were just another day.
Of course, she didn’t stop revealing my dark history intermittently.
In response, I cleared my throat and jumped up.
But the fact that I could casually joke about those times meant our bond had grown closer.
The child speaking playfully like this was probably all to alleviate my guilt.
Really.
Everything is just… too much for me.
That child was good, to that extent.
“Don’t just stand there, let’s go together!”
“…Okay..”
Swish swish, the cheerful sound of crushed fallen leaves follows.
My arm held by hers and her long sleeves flapping as we walked through the forest looked so magical, it could be a scene from a movie.
However, noticing the slight imbalance in her arm, I couldn’t simply enjoy the scenery.
It’s covered by long sleeves, but if you look closely, you can tell that in the gap of her clothes, there’s nothing where there should be something.
Below the upper arm, that start of the wrist. In place of a wrist, there were marks that looked as if a beast had bitten.
What happened to her?
I had never asked directly.
But that day, I was reminded once again that this world is truly cruel.
“Here it is!”
“….I’m coming.”
I held back the rising nausea and smiled as I followed her hand.
I can’t show this ugly face to the child.
Ta-da~!
“…….”
As I looked at the bouquet she showed me, I fell into a small reverie.
Hmm.
So, it’s been exactly a week today.
—The day Alice and I became friends.
After her declaration of friendship, I, trying to find my sanity, wished to apologize for my karma by banging my head.
No matter what, I knew better than anyone that nothing could repay a scar once etched.
Still, I couldn’t hold back my apology.
I’m sorry.
I apologize.
No matter how hard it was, no matter if I was pushed to the brink, it was no excuse to say that to a young child I’d never had any relationship with.
In front of a child who might have lived a more difficult life than I did, I simply vented my own hardships in foolish whining.
But Alice, rather than getting angry, introduced herself and asked me to become friends instead.
Just because someone else suffers more doesn’t mean she doesn’t suffer.
So, my pain was natural.
She wanted to share it as friends together.
With an adorable smile, she told me to be her first friend.
Though I was a sinner not even allowed to raise my head, I couldn’t help but grasp that small hand at her sweet words.
After that, while we didn’t set a promise, the child waited every day for me to come, and I would climb the mountain after quickly finishing my assigned tasks to find her.
A newly added routine to my hamster-wheel-like life.
We talked about each other’s stories, picked flowers, collected funny-looking stones, and when we got sleepy, we would lean on each other and nap.
And that routine naturally became the time I looked forward to the most each day.
The reason is—
…it’s embarrassing, so I won’t say it.
“Now… let’s do it like this….”
“Umm… this is hard…”
“Hang in there!”
Like braiding hair, I combined about three flowers and tied them long.
Choosing the arrangement of flowers step by step as the child instructed, I was amidst a process I’d never done before—a flower crown.
In my past life, I was a city girl who preferred playing with dolls rather than outdoor activities, and in this life, I’ve been busy just trying to survive, so I had never made one.
I was making a small flower crown with flowers she picked.
“This is…. hard.”
“You’re doing great~!”
This all started when Alice wanted to make a flower crown as a gift for her sister.
Though the child didn’t express it, I knew her circumstances well, so I instantly understood her troubles.
—With her body, she couldn’t properly make a crown.
Seeing the child in despair looking at the scattered flowers, I couldn’t bear it and sighed, deciding to join in her gift-making.
Well, if it’s her sister, I can’t say I’m just any stranger.
A few minutes later—
“…..There, it’s done.”
“Wow!! Thank you so much!! You really are Sia Unnie!”
I matched the flower stems to the length Alice indicated and tied them in a circle.
As I handed it to her, she spun around happily, dancing between the flowers.
Wearing the crown around her neck, she was joyous.
And naturally, my hands had nothing left.
The sight of the child blushing with joy murmuring the name of someone unknown to me, “Elli Unnie,” was all there was.
“……..”
“Heeheehee!!”
Seeing the child look so thrilled, as if I didn’t even exist—
I couldn’t help but spark a small ugly emotion.
—Tap, tap, tap.
My nails clashed, creating an unbearable noise.
It was only then that I realized I was tapping my nails together.
But in my heart, thoughts much harder to bear than that noise were igniting.
What if the child doesn’t like me?
What if she wants to throw me away?
In the bright smile of the child, am I not even a thought—
—Tap.
Right.
Perhaps it was an obvious conclusion.
Someone like me, who hasn’t even been around long enough and only brings trouble, would be less preferable than a caring sister like her.
So, this is just… inevitable—
“—Sia Unnie, sleep!”
“…..Huh?”
Swish.
Something colorful suddenly entered my sight.
A few seconds later, I realized it was something made of flowers.
“I made this secretly for Sia Unnie… but I’m sorry…”
“…….”
“Hehe, it’s a little messy, right?”
It was a rather small crown, too small to wear around the neck.
Trying it on my wrist, it seemed to fit perfectly.
The combination of flowers was so beautiful, it could easily fetch a high price in the market, but there were visible mistakes at the parts where the stems intertwined, even an amateur like me could see.
Much inferior compared to what we made together—
“Do you not like it?”
“……”
“Ugh…! I-I’ll make a new one later—”
“—No.”
No need to make a new one.
I whispered softly and carefully brought the one on my wrist to my chest.
Thump, thump.
As my heart moved, the flowers danced lightly.
The flames that had been fiercely ignited moments ago had practically burnt out, leaving only embers.
Alice kept watching my expression, seeming flustered about something.
As I looked at her, the worries I had felt until now seemed foolish, and a laugh escaped me.
Really.
This child is.
“…Haha.”
“…..Huh?”
“Hahahaha—!!”
What began as a small laugh grew increasingly.
When she tilted her head, confused about why I was laughing, I finally burst into a fit of laughter.
Alice puffed her cheeks and pestered me for an explanation, but I only smiled and didn’t tell her why.
I simply pressed those chubby cheeks, deflating them, and quickly ran away.
“—Eh!?!”
Hahahaha-!!
Tomorrow, or the day after.
Perhaps every day.
I’d clearly be subjected to mental attacks with my own quotes by the child, but I could only think that would be alright, laughing to myself.
Being teased means I’d still get to meet the child going forward.
It means our connection would continue.
“This is great.”
On the chilly day winter was quietly beginning to freeze the lake.
And the day all my hatred melted away like snow melting.
It was a cold yet warm day.
Rustle.
“……The witch said things have been suspicious lately.”
Behind the thick oak tree.
A man was watching two girls, stepping on fallen leaves stacked up to his knees.
The sight of a black-haired girl rolling around with a silver-haired girl on the dirt ground was a picturesque and heartwarming scene that would make anyone smile.
Yet in that man’s eyes, only hatred resided.
“I should tell the village chief.”
With those words, the man hurriedly left the forest.
He was a suspicious man who could sense that even those who think everyone in the world is good might be plotting something untoward.
A great evil was lurking, targeting the two girls in the forest.
But unfortunately, the two were just passing a peaceful moment, unaware of the darkness surrounding them.
Heeheehee!
No, perhaps
There was one person who had realized it.