The Gate of Shadows

Chapter 79: Loss Of Control



From how this silver wolf stared at me, I could tell the last thing he expected to find in these woods. We were surrounded by evergreens that waved with any gust, but luckily, they didn’t have much strength.

"Lilith?" He called out to me, wincing before shaking his head. “Impossible. Is this an illusion?”

"Fenris... I..." I trailed off, failing to find any excuse once I saw his expression.

He closed the gap between us in the blink of an eye, placing his hand on my cheek. The warmth seeped from my cheek into his hand, enough to let him know I was there. Tugging away from me, he took a few steps back as his pupils dilated, and he broke into a cold sweat.

You’re…

"No... No! This can’t be real! You can’t be here!" Fenris panicked, trying to reach for his phone, only to find it wasn’t in his pocket.

He had left it at the hut they stayed at for the festival. As he said in the last message he sent to Melody, which I saw, he hadn't planned to use it until after the moon.

"Fenris, I..." I tried to reach out to him, but he only took more steps back.

"Stay away from me!" my wolf yelled, voice trembling.

Shaking my head, I took a step toward him. "Please, Fenris, let me explain." I continued to pursue him.

He gazed at me like I had lost my marbles, but I hadn’t. I knew how dangerous this was to my health. Articles about Lycans losing it and killing their friends and non-Lycan lovers were all over the news, advertising to everyone who wasn’t a wolf to stay away from the festival grounds.

The outlets suggested locking themselves up in their homes for the night. All the killings usually happened under the full moon, but a blood moon was way more intoxicating to them.

"No, what you need to do is get away from me right this instant, Lilith," Fenris ordered.

I glanced up towards the moon.

It’ll eclipse soon.

"I won’t," I whispered.

"Fuck! What do you mean you won’t?! Lilith, this is serious!" he lashed out.

I tried not to let his words hurt me. He only wanted to push me away, something I couldn’t afford. Luckily, he couldn’t run away from me either—not while we were both in this barrier. Eventually, once he lost his senses to the beast within, he would hunt me either way, as I was the only living thing worth his time in this barrier.

“No, I won’t leave you. I’m not scared of you." I simpered.

If I somehow survive this night the following day, your undying rage won’t be quelled, will it?

"You should be!” Fenris snapped, triggering me to flinch. “I... can fucking hurt you, Lilith. Like, really hurt you. Don’t you understand, I won’t be myself! I’ll be an animal that’ll tear into you!"

His hands were clenched into fists.

"No, you won’t hurt me," I stood firm.

It was apparent he couldn’t fathom why I was there, and if I told him there was no doubt in my mind, he’d destroy the gem, ending my plans instantly.

"Lilith, please, I’m begging you. I don’t know how you got here, but you must leave now!" Fenris continued to push me away.

My heart wouldn’t waver.

"No. I’m not going anywhere." I affirmed, gripping onto the sting that held my robes together.

A soft glow came from him, alerting me that the moon was already influencing him, even though it hadn’t fully eclipsed. His amber eyes slowly turned red, like Alijah's, as his nostrils flared and lips curled downward.

"Lilith, are you fucking serious?! Are you willing to put the world to death because of your selfishness?! Get out of here!" he tried to incite me into running away, but nothing he threw at me would work.

I had already played every scenario that could’ve happened, every word he would use to make me run. There wasn’t a scenario where I expected him to be happy to see me, and probably, what I would do next would disgust him.

But I have no other choice. Mel needs this, and I am the only one willing to do it for her. Not that I’d let anyone else touch you like I’m about to. To help her, I need to hurt you just this night.

Taking a deep breath, I undid my robe, letting it fall onto the floor below and exposing my body to him.

"Fenris... make me yours," I whispered, fully offering myself to the wolf before me.

In response, he covered his mouth, narrowing his eyes before taking another step back. "No!"

He appeared ready to bolt, but before he could, a throbbing sensation radiated through his body, making him grab onto his head. The blood moon was finally on us.

"I know, I’m sorry. There isn’t any other way." I apologized.

"Lilith... please... grrr… I... grrrr…can’t... control... grrr… my—for you!" Fenris declared in a snarl, grabbing his chest as the aura around him expanded.

Even as menacing as you appear, I still am…

I spread my arms, waiting for him to come to me. It was only a matter of time, and I didn’t know if he would eat my flesh or find pleasure within me, making this the stupidest thing I had ever done, but I refused to back down.

"It’s okay. Let go. I accept you in every shape and form, just like you did for me," I reassured him.

Before I knew it, I was on the floor, pinned by him as his transformation began. It was so fast that I barely felt the blow from the floor on my back. He growled, holding me down as I willingly spread my legs to let him in.

I knew this wouldn’t be the loveliest time together, but it had to happen.

"I... will rip into you. Please... get away from me." Fenris pleaded, tears dripping down his cheeks.

Seeing him like this and knowing I caused it stung my heart, which made it unforgivable. Even so, I reached up to his cheek to wipe away from them, smiling at him. His warmth, even in this state, filled me with peace.

I trust you fully.

"You won’t," I whispered before Fenris finally lost it.

The bloodmoon night was upon us, and I was ready for whatever came next.


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