LIGHTNOVELONLINE Chapter 60
Early in the morning, Eliya left the house, resting her chin on her hand as she gazed out the window.
The train’s window served as a canvas, with the scenery changing moment by moment.
Once a year.
It was the day she allowed herself to be weak.
She skipped breakfast and decided to skip dinner as well.
Today, nothing could enter her stomach.
She simply stared blankly outside as if time was flowing rapidly.
It has already been five years.
Ria, sitting across from her, silently watched Eliya.
There were no special guards.
In the past, she would take anyone with her, but now it was unnecessary.
To attack Eliya, who had become a complete wizard, would require great sacrifices.
The destination was within teleportation distance.
She could just use consecutive teleports.
However, Eliya did not do that.
She chose a cumbersome and difficult way.
Today had to be that kind of day.
A day to allow herself to be weak while also mentally fortifying herself.
For her, this road was no different from a path of suffering.
She mustn’t be comfortable.
During the journey, her mind wandered aimlessly.
Among her thoughts was Judas.
It was a pity that they couldn’t have dinner together tonight.
In truth, she hoped for it a little, but she wouldn’t allow herself.
The train came to a stop at its destination.
Gethsemane.
A quiet and desolate village.
A place not fit for someone like Eliya.
Yet Eliya walked there with familiarity.
It was a place she visited once a year without fail.
As she left the village and entered the fields, a gentle hill emerged.
A hill without a path.
Eliya moved forward, sending the wind ahead of her.
The blade-like wind cut through the grass, clearing a path.
At the end of it.
On what seemed like a barren slope.
A tombstone stood.
Her mother’s tombstone.
Originally, she was going to place it in her mansion, but Eliya refused.
That place was a dangerous location where bloodshed could one day sweep through.
It might be engulfed in war with the Bevel family.
So she hid it here.
In a small hill not far from where her mother died.
It was already five years since her mother passed away.
Today was the anniversary.
Dust and grass had settled on the slightly worn grave.
Eliya cleared the grass and wiped away the dust with her handkerchief.
After cleaning it, she quietly embraced the tombstone.
It was still too large for her to fit into comfortably.
But Eliya paid no heed.
As if trying to warm it from the cold, she held it dearly.
Tears flowed from her eyes without her realizing it.
Today, she didn’t blame herself.
She didn’t whip herself to tell her she mustn’t be weak.
It was the one day a year she was granted that privilege.
“Mom….”
She murmured against the tombstone.
“It’s just the beginning… I’ll take them all down….”
The Bevel family.
The Assassin Guild.
And anyone else who is after her.
“I’ve got my side now… So don’t worry….”
She would eliminate all her enemies and come back here again.
When she returns, she would be different, and she would move the tombstone to the mansion.
“I’ll kill them all, so watch….”
Finally, Eliya kissed the tombstone.
The cold, rough stone received the warmth of her small lips.
She remained there for a long time, holding the tombstone close, her eyes closed.
She shared her warmth with the cold grave.
Because it would be cold and lonely here alone.
After a while, she opened her eyes.
“I’ll come again. Goodbye.”
Eliya gently stroked the tombstone and turned back.
Wiping away her tears, her expression hardened.
“Let’s go.”
Ria, who had been waiting behind, quietly followed her.
Before leaving, Ria glanced back.
The name was inscribed on the tombstone.
The name of Eliya’s biological mother.
The tombstone inscribed with ‘Maria’ bid them farewell.
Today marked the fifth year already.
*
When Eliya returned to the mansion, it was around dinner time.
It was just about time for her to have dinner with Judas, but today she had no appetite at all.
But she had to prepare food for Judas.
So she went to find him….
“…He hasn’t returned?”
Anna lowered her head apologetically.
“Yes, Miss. He should have returned by now, but it seems his training has gone a bit longer….”
There was a possibility that it was so.
But Eliya calculated a different possibility.
‘Right now, my kin are coming here.’
Direct descendants, including Balak.
They were on their way to formally complain about how she had tied up Narcissi without consent.
She couldn’t blame them for coming close to her mother’s anniversary.
They weren’t the type to be considerate of such things.
They were likely to arrive tomorrow or the day after.
However.
‘Someone among them might have approached Judas.’
The news that Judas was favored was well known even among the main household.
Unable to touch him directly, they might have taken their chances with Judas.
There were some likely candidates that came to mind.
The most reckless runt among Balak’s children.
‘Sara….’
“Ah, Miss?”
Anna called out as Eliya’s eyes gleamed with golden determination.
Without responding, Eliya immediately vanished.
She used teleportation to head straight to the training grounds, where Judas was likely to be last.
*
“Hey! This won’t do! Since I can’t go, you have to come here!”
Sara slumped down before a shouting Judas.
“Ugh….”
“Sara, dear!”
“The hell are these guys doing…!”
Approaching her were the two knights she had brought, one of whom was the one who had decided to pick a fight with that commoner.
Sara quickly gathered her thoughts.
She had brought two knights with her.
There was no need to be scared.
Just as she was about to stand up, someone abruptly popped in.
“What business do you have here?”
Gawain, the loyal sword of Balak.
The commander of the Bevel Knights.
“I did not receive any prior notice of your visit.”
Gawain stepped in front of them, positioning himself as if facing Sara.
Sara knew well that Gawain was on Balak’s side.
She hurriedly got to her feet.
“Sir Gawain! What perfect timing!”
Now pumped up, she pointed at Judas, who was fuming.
“…….”
Then she lowered her hand.
Because Judas was glaring at her fiercely.
“D-did you see that?! Look at what he did to me! How dare he humiliate me!”
“Judas. This is Sara de Bevel, the fifth daughter of Duke Balak.”
“I heard it?!”
“Yes, I heard it earlier. But that’s not really a significant issue. That man disrespected my lord first.”
“Umm….”
Gawain stroked his chin, seemingly troubled.
To Sara, Eliya was a dirty bastard, but Judas was different.
He was precious enough to risk his life to save and a noble lord, even if his feelings were just a youthful crush.
Gawain wasn’t sure about Judas’s intentions, but regardless, disrespecting Eliya in front of him was no small matter.
“How about this? Since we cannot back down, let’s settle this through a duel….”
“I’m all for it!”
Sara shouted with unwavering confidence.
She immediately pushed one of the knights forward.
“Let me introduce my opponent.”
The boy bowed graciously.
“I am Mizereum Horn, honored to serve Lady Sara. I shall announce my name….”
The boy suddenly stopped mid-sentence, looking behind Judas.
A crowd of people was approaching from that direction.
Judas turned around.
“Judas? What are you doing here instead of leaving?”
Richard.
“Why is Sir Gawain here….”
Dillon.
“Who are these people?”
Lindell.
“Trouble seems to follow you everywhere, doesn’t it?”
Argon.
The group from Room 13 had gathered, having heard the commotion.
They saw Judas facing off against Sara.
Sara instinctively inhaled.
The group of boys approaching with rugged demeanor was somehow intimidating.
Even if they were of similar age.
Gawain briefly explained the situation to them.
Room 13 seemed to settle down like they were watching a show.
“Judas, you’re going to win, right?”
“It’s been a while since I’ve seen something fun.”
“Really, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you seriously fight.”
“But is it okay for us to watch?”
Dillon asked, but Gawain looked at Sara and Judas.
“Of course.”
Judas replied nonchalantly.
Sara wasn’t one to back down either.
“Of course! Watch me as I claim victory!”
Sara could have refused entry, but she didn’t.
She was confident she would win.
Gawain nodded, indicating his acceptance.
Room 13 settled in comfortably, relieved.
Judas bluntly introduced himself.
“Judas Defecit.”
A short and arrogant introduction.
He quickly assessed Mizereum.
‘Left-handed. A little taller than me. Slim build. No idea about mana, but I can definitely win in a strength contest.’
Gawain sought Sara’s permission.
“Let the duel begin.”
“Bring it on!”
He dropped his gloves.
That was the starting signal.
Mizereum charged in immediately.
Closing the distance in no time, he loaded the momentum into his punch.
In that moment, Judas was sure.
‘I’ve won.’
He distinctly realized how much he had grown.
The opponent wasn’t just some nobody despite their young age.
His punches were pretty intense.
But it was still crystal clear.
He had just been getting hit by Gawain and hadn’t had the chance to realize it.
He felt hot ever since a while ago.
He released that force.
[Mana Release (Lv.28)]
Judas collided with Mizereum.
His punch just barely missed.
Likewise, Mizereum, using mana, wouldn’t fall down.
A close-combat power struggle began.
Naturally, Mizereum’s hand grabbed onto Judas’s collar.
Put another way, Judas had pulled Mizereum close enough to be able to snag him.
What happened next was incredibly quick.
Even with Mizereum being on the verge of defeat, Sara was caught in a trance at the unfolding scene.
It was almost beautiful.
Judas caught the sleeve of Mizereum, and in the blink of an eye, turned his body backward.
Mizereum’s body seemed to be pulled into Judas’s until he floated up slightly, then slammed down.
Judas used his full strength to drive him into the ground.
Using only the sleeve to hit.
‘Sleeve Pinch.’
Thud! With a heavy sound, Mizereum exhaled harshly.
“Cough-!”
It felt like a heavy and robust blunt object hit his back.
The fallen Mizereum trembled, unable to regain his composure.
The spectators from Room 13 jumped up and cheered.
“Whoa-!”
“Wow!”
“This is what I’m talking about!”
Judas waved casually at them.
Gawain observed quietly, clearly satisfied.
He stroked his chin, nodding slightly and smiling faintly.
Mhm. This is how it should be.
With the passionate support of Room 13, Judas smiled at Sara.
“Next is you?”
“Y-y-you…!”
Sara trembled her fist, but suddenly, someone appeared among them.
The first to identify her was Judas.
“Ah, Miss?!”
It was Eliya.
Eliya, having arrived, slowly scanned the surroundings with a blazing gaze.
First, she looked right at Judas.
He seemed fine.
Next to him was the fallen young knight.
And then there was trembling Sara.
That was enough to piece together the situation.
She knew well of Sara’s childish antics.
Eliya approached Sara, taking one step at a time.
“Sara.”
Her voice was cold and sharp.
Judas took a step back and reached for some water from Richard.
His heart tightened even though he wasn’t the one being called out.
“E-Eliya…!”
“I have many questions, but I’m tired today. I won’t bother you with the details. Just leave right now.”
“Y-y-you! How can you manage your subordinates like this?!”
“Don’t make me say it twice.”
“Why are you protecting him so much? Are you betrothed to that commoner or something?!”
What she said was a jab, but Eliya calmly shot back.
“What if I am?”
Puhuh-!
Judas spewed water like a whale.
Caught by surprise, he was unable to stop coughing, while Eliya remained composed.
Richard patted Judas’s back.
“What if you were, and what if you weren’t? Shouldn’t you be hoping I don’t? If it were true, I would be even angrier than now.”
“Y-you…!”
“Hurry and return to your safe family. If you had no background, don’t roam around carelessly.”
Eliya stepped right next to Sara.
Shadows draped over her face as she leaned closer to whisper in her ear.
Sara froze like a frog in front of a snake.
Her piercing gaze seemed ready to devour.
“If you step awry, you might just disappear without anyone knowing.”
“…….”
Sara crumpled to the ground as if she had crumbled away.
She lost strength in her legs again.
Having sobbed like a hiccup, she started wailing.
“Wah, wahhh! Mom, give me back my mom-!”
“My ears….”
Eliya gazed down at the childish girl.
Then she gestured to the knight standing behind her, as if finding her bothersome.
To hurry and take her away.
The knight, intimidated by Eliya’s presence, hurriedly took the fainted squire and the crying noble girl away.
Eliya pressed her eyes shut.
Why did she have to be troubled on a day like this?
When she turned around, she found Judas with a reddened face.
“…Judas? Are you okay?”
“No, no, I’m fine.”
“Did they do something to you? Should I bring them in for questioning?”
“No, no! I’m really fine!”
If she had to be honest, it was because of Eliya.
He almost choked when she said something absurd while drinking.
“Uh, I just swallowed wrong while drinking water. I’m fine.”
“Really?”
Eliya looked around slowly.
The Room 13 candidates, who had been gathered closely laughing, were now on edge.
They seemed overly excited when she arrived.
It was easy to guess why.
They were there to cheer for Judas and respond to him.
That wasn’t too bad either.
Gawain casually asked.
“Miss? What brought you here?”
“To take him home. He hadn’t come back.”
That ‘him’, Judas awkwardly pulled up the corners of his mouth and rolled his eyes.
Saying that she came to pick him up since he didn’t come home sounded a bit… odd.
“And I thought Sara might be here, so I came by.”
With the business over, Eliya looked around casually.
“Well then, I’ll be off.”
She suddenly grabbed Judas’s hand.
Just as she was about to teleport, she made eye contact with Hermis.
Hermis was the one who was supposed to escort Judas.
She should take him with her.
But for some reason, she didn’t want to.
“Uh… Miss?”
Hermis called out with a sense of disbelief.
That disbelief was warranted.
Eliya took Judas and vanished without another word.
“…….”
Hermis, left behind, blinked in confusion.
Fortunately, the carriage was here, so she could go back.
The rest of the group awkwardly saw her off.
*
“Whew….”
As soon as they returned to the mansion, Eliya clung to Judas.
Her heart began to feel somewhat at ease.
Judas was too stunned to embrace her in return; he just froze.
Just then, the door burst open.
“Miss?!”
Ria rushed in.
“Where did you suddenly….”
She stopped when she saw Eliya clinging to Judas.
As her gaze slowly turned cold, Judas rapidly shook his head.
He meant to convey he had nothing to do with this.
Eliya, still wrapped around Judas, spoke.
Burying her face, her voice came out muffled.
“I went to pick him up.”
Hmm.
Did it really have to be expressed that way?
Judas thought inwardly.
‘It sounds like I went to catch a run-away husband… Aah. I might be losing it….’
Eliya pressed at the corners of her eyes and winced.
Today, she looked exhausted and worn out.
She seemed busy, so it made him wonder if something had happened.
Judas tentatively asked.
“You seem a bit tired.”
“A little….”
As Eliya answered, she lifted her head.
Looking at him while still holding on to him.
The emotion reflected in her close-up face was strange.
Strange, but something he had seen in Judas several times before.
Now, Eliya thought she grasped the name of that emotion.
“Judas. Right now… are you ‘worried’ about me?”
Judas couldn’t answer right away.
‘Did I do something wrong? Am I not supposed to be worried?’
He couldn’t discern the intention behind the question.
Saying no felt ridiculous, so he simply admitted it.
“Yes, that’s correct.”
“Why?”
“Umm… Just because?”
There wasn’t much of a reason.
People can worry about others sometimes.
But it was different for Eliya.
It just meant that there were no costs or conditions attached to the act.
Somehow, he had become an unconditionally important person to her.
…Was that alright?
Unbeknownst to Judas, he stared blankly, rolling his eyes.
Seeing such a foolish sight, Eliya smiled unwittingly.
It felt as if all her troubles from the day were floating away.
When Eliya smiled, Judas was relieved.
At least she had enough strength left to smile.
“Judas.”
“Yes, Miss.”
“I’m hungry.”
Despite trying to skip a meal, it seemed impossible now.
Eliya felt an appetite she hadn’t had.
“Please feed me tonight.”
Judas smiled weakly, not knowing whether to find it funny or to simply be glad she wasn’t starving.
“Of course, why would there be any choice?”
*
“…Ugh!”
Eliya suddenly jolted awake with a sharp gasp.
She had an unsettling dream for the first time in ages.
A black shadow danced flamboyantly in the burning flames.
The phantom of her mother, who should have been burning to death.
Even though she had never seen her directly, she often manifested in her dreams to torment her.
Eliya quietly tried to reach for the doll she had been holding only to halt.
She had not yet returned it to Judas.
Just before dozing off, she had been in a pleasant mood, but then a nightmare hit her as soon as she fell asleep.
Every year on her mother’s anniversary, the intensity of the nightmares had been particularly harsh.
But lately, nightmares had become rare, making it even harder to endure.
“Ugh….”
Eliya hugged her knees and stifled her breath.
It wasn’t just her mother that had appeared in the dream.
The day she was first brought back to the main household.
The moment she had killed someone for the first time haunted her nightmare.
On that day, Eliya had indeed taken a life.
Though she didn’t directly kill, it was almost the same.
The scenery and the sounds from that day were vivid.
Narcissi shouting for her to sign.
Herself, crying and pleading.
But ultimately, she ended up signing that document under the scourge.
As a sign of consent.
That was a form of psychological leverage.
Murder without purpose or intent.
Due to that document, the village near where she had been hiding….
“Ugh, ugh….”
Eliya, unable to contain herself, finally burst into tears.
Sadness mixed with a feeling of rage began to rise within her.
She wanted to kill Narcissi, who was now locked in the basement immediately.
Her heart wouldn’t settle at all.
The one person she needed to visit during such a time was predetermined.
She cautiously cast a spell.
Teleport.
Her sight shifted instantly.
To the room right next door.
To Judas’s bedroom.
Judas lay sprawled like a rag doll beneath a rumpled blanket.
Just as she was about to approach, Eliya suddenly paused.
‘I can’t depend on him…. I mustn’t be weak….’
The words she always repeated to herself.
She carved that into her heart like a brand.
If she relied on anyone, it would become a weakness.
If she had any weakness, she would become weak.
However.
‘Just for today….’
Today was a day she was allowing herself to be weak.
That meant she could cry in front of her mother’s grave.
But it was also a day to hone her mind.
That ultimately meant she had to conduct herself as usual in front of others.
Yet Eliya disregarded those rules.
She couldn’t suppress the impulse to hold him.
‘Just a little, since it’s a special day….’
She tiptoed closer.
Carefully climbed onto the bed and crawled toward him.
She laid her head on his arm.
Snuggling close, she nuzzled further into him.
Pulling his other arm over, she made him wrap around her.
The warmth enveloped her.
It felt like a protective embrace.
The coldness within her began to calm down.
Slowly blinking her eyes, she observed Judas’s face.
He was peacefully asleep.
It was fascinating.
Today was the first time she closely observed his sleeping face.
Normally, he seemed to wear a frown, either discontent with society or slightly tense.
How he could show such expressions too.
Perhaps, she alone would know this side of Judas.
Hermis wouldn’t know.
Keeping a rare side of him hidden away, for some reason, made her glad.
‘He’s mine….’
Her possession.
There were plenty of things around him to be wary of.
She didn’t even know if it was necessary to be cautious, but Eliya was sharp around everything concerning him.
Especially today when Sara and Judas had crossed paths.
The look in Sara’s eyes as she gazed at Judas was one of unadulterated horror.
What if that emotion morphed into curiosity?
What if the free-spirited Sara coveted this precious child?
She would never allow that, but the mere thought of Sara entertaining such feelings sent a shiver down her spine.
Her heart thumped painfully as her stomach twisted.
Meanwhile, the parties involved, Sara and Judas, had completely erased the thought of each other.
Neither showed any interest.
It was just Eliya who couldn’t figure out their true inner feelings.
‘He’s mine….’
Eliya clutched him tighter.
There was one question she had.
Did Judas have a realization of being her possession?
‘They must never take him away from me again….’
Losing him once was enough.
In that moment, fear popped up.
She had allowed herself to be weak by hugging him, but she mustn’t depend on him.
But this feeling was slowly resembling dependence.
‘This is, therefore….’
Though not relying directly, she decided to acknowledge it.
She needed him.
For the most practical reason.
‘This is just… using him.’
He was the only one who could soothe the fire within her, thus she needed to keep him close.
There was no other purpose or reason. Absolutely not.
It was a concession to conceal her true feelings, but Eliya feigned ignorance.
Just as she was about to fully nestle into him, something blocked her.
It was the doll that lay between them.
The doll she had ordered to be held tightly and snuggled with.
She hadn’t adorned her neck with a scarf nor wrapped it in a blanket.
That sight was quite pleasant.
Eliya gently brushed the doll aside before pressing herself closer.
‘He’s mine.’
She closed her eyes peacefully within the warmth.
The nightmare had vanished.
She fell into a deep, comfortable sleep.
*
Eliya dreamed.
“Mom?”
For her, who had been tormented by nightmares for five years, this dream was the first of its kind.
Color filled the surroundings.
Her mother, living and breathing, welcomed her with a smile.
She had never before seen her mother appear in such a stable state in her dreams.
Every other time had either been dark shadows or horrific forms clinging to her.
“Mom!”
Eliya ran towards her mother with unfiltered joy.
Her mother looked just as she remembered, alive and well.
With black hair and black eyes.
Her mother opened her arms wide and hugged her tightly.
Even if she were to crumble, it was a painful yet joyous embrace.
“Mom….”
Eliya laughed while crying.
Her soft hands wiped away her tears.
The tender touch of care was delightful, causing Eliya to whine even more.
She forgot about the urge to act tough.
As her mom affectionately patted and hugged her, she placed a kiss on her cheek.
The pleasant sound of a kiss.
Eliya wiped her tears and beamed with delight.
Then she wrapped her arms around her mother’s neck and clung to her.
Just like before, she reciprocated the affection.
Smooch, pressing her lips against her mother’s cheek.
A small yet cozy wooden house.
Living a simple life amidst the forest, occasionally receiving help from villagers from the nearby town.
A vibrant place filled with colors.
A rare fantasy she hadn’t witnessed in five years.
The ivory moon hanging in the night sky appeared beautiful and bright.
*
‘…What the heck is this again?’
Her arm felt heavy, prompting her to open her eyes.
As she expected.
Nothing unusual.
‘Ugh, it’s Eliya….’
Before she realized it, Eliya had cuddled up to her in her sleep.
‘Oh geez…. Do whatever you want. Go ahead.’
As she tucked the blanket around her, she noticed that Eliya was smiling.
Lighting up her face with a comforting smile in her sleep.
In the past, she had always cried or whined.
…Even if it was only two times, to be exact.
Yet this was a new side of Eliya.
It contrasted with the face she showed while awake.
Warm yet somehow tinged with nostalgia.
Tears glistened at the corners of her smiling eyes.
‘Looks like our dear master doesn’t neglect her weeping.’
He brushed that glistening tear away gently.
‘It seems you’re smiling as you sleep; now you’re crying again.’
Yet she looked better than usual.
What that meant, he couldn’t say for sure.
‘Crying or being expressionless is worse; smiling is definitely better.’
For now, let’s sleep.
He turned his head back while letting Eliya keep his arm.
‘Eliya, the source of my demise. The sun that must absorb me. Eliya, with the power of the sun. And me, who seems to hold the power of the moon….’
Random thoughts flickered as he closed his eyes.
Eliya’s arm gradually crawled up over him, hugging him around the neck.
‘Do as you like…. Just do whatever you want….’
Smooch.
‘…What?’
A short sound passed through the room, heavy with silence.
It was a sound that seemed out of place here.
Not just a sound.
Something touched his cheek before it fell away.
It felt slightly moist, warm, and soft, and that was….
‘W-what, wh-what, what the…!’
He trembled, turning his head cautiously.
He cautiously checked on Eliya.
She still appeared to be asleep.
Yet suddenly, Eliya’s face inched closer to his again.
‘N-no, no, no-!’