The Butcher of Gadobhra

Golems and golem parts were scattered about the courtyard as each was tested, found broken, and disassembled. Charred crystals, melted wire coils and rusted joints had left them all in a sad state where they may have technically still been capable of moving, but the long bumpy ride from the undead city had shaken and stirred their components.

A moldy instruction manual had been sent along, which Damien referred to often. The language was incomprehensible to the others, but the pictures were helpful. One by one, they made a list of the bad parts and set about fixing or replacing them, using parts from the shrinking pile provided by Damien and Milo. Some things couldn't be replaced, and so new parts were created, often with 'improvements'.

None of the four crazed technicians noticed that the large statue in the courtyard had swiveled so it could get a better look at what they were doing. It was boring here, and this was top-notch entertainment.

Vladimir was looking at the serial numbers. "Damien, have you noticed that all of these are from the s-Series of golems?"

The elder Franklin looked up from where he was testing installing a new elbow joint, "I notice everything Vladimir, I just have a bad habit of not sharing. Please explain to me what you think the significance of the serial numbers means, and I'll judge if you are correct."

"You don't have a clue, do you?"

"This is another Engineer secret, isn't it?"

Vladimir shook his head. "No, actually. The book you're holding lists the series of golems that were produced, and the serial numbers given to each based on their behavior and designs. So far, I've looked at seven of them, and noted all of them are s-series golems."

"Is that good?"

"Hmm, depends on your perspective. the 's' in this case stands for 'sloth'. Even when fully charged they will not act without explicit instructions from their owner and when done, they return to their charging stands. They take daily care because they like to 'forget' their instructions."

"I see. That reminds me of many of my minions before I recycled them all. But I have a question, if instead of an 's', the number started with an 'S', would that change anything?"

"Quite a bit, actually. The Slaughter series of golems are bloodthirsty marauders who go far beyond their orders when defending their lord or attacking opponents. They'll stay on a battlefield for days, killing anything that comes near, including their own side. Very dedicated to their work."

"My, my, I guess it's lucky we only have the Sloth Series here." He looked down at the disassembled golem, noting the differences between it and the others. There was a red spark deep in the gem-like eyes. "Don't you worry, little one. Uncle Damien is going to get you fixed up just like new. In fact, Better than New. I have some interesting ideas of how to increase the speed of those whirling blades." He started whistling, happy to be working on such a fun project.

Milo was working on the charging stations. These were large copper plates with indentations the size of the golems' feet. When low on power, they could be ordered to stand at their station for recharging. Depending on how mana was gathered by the central charging unit, this could take a very long time. The central unit absorbed mana from the area, or from another source supplied to it. Even in an area like Gadobhra, the process was slow. There were huge pools of dark mana in the cursed city, that swirled and flowed to the front gates. Even immersing the central unit in a flowing stream of dark mana was sufficient to charge even one golem in less than a week, and that assumed they stood and did nothing.

The Senior Engineer was not happy. "This is so inefficient. how do these things even function with such an inefficient charging unit? We need to make a better one!"

Damien held up a hand. "Careful, that unit is carefully calibrated to work with the eight charging stations. I imagine the process was similar to how Vladimir managed to link those six crystals together. It was six, wasn't it? Or eight? Possible 17?" He looked at Milo with narrowed eyes. "What has it gots in its pocketses?"

Milo reached into one pocket, "Lint, a piece of gouda, three mice skulls with explosive runes, and a wand that channels the Rune of Force."

Vladimir's ears twitched. "A rune of pure force projection? Is there such a rune? Wouldn't that invoke the Law of Equal and Opposite Reactions and send the caster flying away in the other direction?"

Milo shrugged. "There's usually a wall to stop me."

Damien laughed. "Sounds painful."

The Engineer said seriously, "It was for science, I needed to know. And I also need to know how to charge these golems. If we can't change the absorption rate of the central charging unit, we need another source of power. And yes, I have another crystal and can link the central unit to the Hermetic Shield and the rest of the mana channels in this area, but the damned things would be draining power continuously. That could drain the entire system."

Milo continued to gnaw at the problem of the charging units while the others worked on replacing broken parts and assembling the Bloodstone golems. Damien finished his first, excitement and coffee lending him speed. Ben helped him get the framework standing in one of the eight copper charging units now bolted to the stone in front of the ACME building, four to each side of the main doors. The heavy Bloodstone armor was attached to the framework one piece at a time. "These things need a good polishing. That's the problem with Liches; even the best of them are lousy housekeepers and never notice how their Necropolis is rotting around them."

Milo grimaced, "The little this unit had absorbed just got sucked into that golem, and it's at less than .01% charged. How the hell did the Liche get any use out of these?"

The specter cleared his throat, "Ahem, yes, they do indeed take quite a bit of mana to operate, but the Baron assured my master that he had plenty. Something about workers charging them. Not a viable option for my master, since the undead need mana, and don't generate it themselves, except for those few who are both intelligent and spell casters. But they really are wondrous killing machines when charged. I remember one dark and stormy night when we were holding off an army of Elven relic hunters looking for the lost crown of the first king. They'd just gotten to the main gates when the storm hit, and the lightning accumulators were struck, charging all of the golems to full. It was such a wonderful slaughter. The elves had no idea we had such forces. Why, we hadn't known what these things could do until then. Body parts went flying everywhere. That one over there with the glowing red eyes? It led the charge and killed half the elves by itself. We'd have gotten the other half, but the rest of them refused to chase the fleeing elves and went back to their charging station. That one chased them out of the city until it ran out of energy."

All four of the people working in the courtyard were silent.

Ben looked up at the top of the tower. "Lightning you say?"

The specter nodded, "Yes, but it's so unreliable. A massive amount of energy and only a small bit is usable and the rest wasted."

Vladimir looked at Milo, "Unless you had a way of transferring and storing it."

Damien began digging through the pile of parts. "Drat! I know I had a broken lightning accumulator in here somewhere. Ah, here it is. Now we just need to improve on my design, make it work, construct a suitably large copper or silver aerial, and attach it to the top of a large tower, along with the central charging unit." All eyes went to the top of the ACME building, and a moment later they got to work.

Their theoretical discussion was interrupted by Volminus and AC/DC entering the city. The two professors were anxious to look over the foundations of their old academy and talk to the Baron upon his return to collect the debt owed to them. Upon seeing the golems standing mostly assembled at the end of the courtyard, the AC/DC twins broke into a run while Volminus did his best to manage a fast walk. The twins were overjoyed to find everyone working on a project to collect storm mana.

"We have so many ideas! Have you considered a triple copper coil at the base of the arial? Very efficient. And a Storm Attractor would make things so much more fun."

Damien frowned; that was not something he was familiar with. "Storm attractor?"

The twins nodded in unison and were now speaking at the same time, their voices in harmony as their over-excited minds ran in parallel. "Lightning can be shy, it likes to hide in the clouds, but you can coax it to come down to play with you by creating an environment that it craves. We have a method for generating a cloud of negative Storm Mana around an ariel that increases the chance of attracting bolts of lightning from the sky."

Damien cracked his knuckles. "Tell us what you need Professor, and use your best shouty science voice. You have several people willing to make your Theories into reality."

They looked at each other and smiled. "That would be wonderful. We have trouble with reality at times. Our best inventions stay in our heads and we forget we haven't built the apparatus. Embarrassing when you invite the rest of the faculty for a demonstration."

With Damien spearheading the new project and the twin Professors getting their theories out of their heads and into the hands of capable madmen, the apparatus was quickly assembled, trashed, redesigned, tested, taken apart, and finally declared a success. All that remained was attaching the tall copper aerial, the Lightning Attractor, the Central Processing unit, and a small crystal to the top of the ACME building. If all worked as they theorized, the attracted bolts of lightning would both give an instant charge to the golems, as well and boost the stored mana in the Hermetic Shield, allowing the Central Charging Station to draw on the stored mana when needed.

The ACME building was locked tight, which stopped Vladimir for only two seconds. The lock fell to the floor in pieces and the great double doors swung open. "I'll have to offer my services to help the Baron with his security problem. Just anyone can walk in here." The six of them walked up the long stairways to the top of the tower and emerged on the rooftop where the Baron liked to drink wine and look out over his domain. They set up their arcane machinery on the other side of the roof, working quickly.

Damien looked at the machinery. "Sadly, there is no way to know if it's working properly."

Benjamin pointed upward. "I have a suspicion we did a good job. Were those clouds there earlier?"

The Professors looked up and smiled, "What a lovely formation of Cumulonimbus, and more are rushing in at an alarming pace. We think you should all observe from the ground while we stand here and soak in the glory of the storm." Nothing anyone could say would budge the twin professors from their storm-watching. Frankly, little was even said. Milo scampered downstairs as soon as he saw the clouds. He didn't trust the open sky at all, especially when it started behaving like this. Everyone else understood that moments like this were to be savored, they just preferred to savor them from a safe distance.

Dark clouds filled the sky and began to swirl counter-clockwise with the ACME building in the center. Bolts of lightning were tossed from cloud to cloud like children playing a game of ball. And then a stroke of brilliance lanced down from the sky, striking the building. Cackling laughter, in stereo, let them know that Professor Tommaso and Professor Tommaso were alive and enjoying themselves. The charging stations under the golem's feet glowed with power and the machines began charging.

A second bolt struck a minute later, followed by a third and then a dozen in rapid succession, with thunder punching down at the puny creatures on the ground, making them cover their ears. Except Damien, who had produced a pair of pink fuzzy earmuffs. He was dancing a jig and shouting at the sky, enjoying the spectacle. All of the golems were now fully charged, with seven of them standing at attention, fully intending to do nothing at all since they had no orders. The last one was looking around for targets since it hadn't been told NOT to kill anyone. It spied Damien, Vladimir, and Ben, but they were the lowest priority. Even murder machines knew enough to save the mechanics for last. Milo was out of sight, hiding in a hole in the ground. Volminous was still in the tower, assessing the state of the Baron's larder and making himself a small snack.

Just as it was trying to decide whether Ben or Vladimir would be its first target, it saw movement at the gates. A small party of humans were entering Gadobhra. With a mechanical scream of rage, the S-Series Bloostone Golem started lumbering towards them, picking up steam, and deploying whirling sawblades at the end of each hand.

The three humans noticed that someone was coming to greet them. Themis put herself in front of the Baron and Baroness and readied herself for a fight. The golem saw her and adjusted its path, the ground shaking with each footstep. Just as it was about to clash with the General, Billy stepped forward and yelled, "Stop!". His voice was deep and held an echo of authority.

To Themis and Layla's astonishment, the golem did just that, skidding to a halt, quivering with rage, its sawblades screaming as they rotated. Billy walked up to it, just out of reach. "You're beautiful. Just what I've always wanted. You got a name?"

The confused golem shook its head. Billy looked at it. "Let's see, what would work. Does anyone know the Latin word for slaughter or slay?"

Themis was staying on her guard, but replied, "The old language? Caedis would work for both."

Billy took a step forward. "I'm the Baron, and I name you Caedis, head of my Baronial Guard. How's that work for you?" The golem considered and then nodded its head. "Good, you're hired. Don't kill anyone unless they attack me, I tell you to, or a ghoul gets within a hundred feet of me." He looked at the other seven golems, standing at attention.

"What's their problem, Caedis?"

The golem's blades spun as it looked over its shoulder at them and a mechanical voice said one word, "Sloth."

"Right, then let's go sort that out. You can precede me by thirty feet and keep a lookout for ghouls." Caedis saluted and happily began searching for ghouls to dismember.

Themis looked at him. "How did you stop that thing?"

Billy stopped to light a cigar and enjoy it. The day was getting better and better. "I bought and paid for them, they belong to me. We are in my lands, and I'm the Baron." The last three words were said with authority.

"You've grown."

"Yep, I have. And I'm going to keep growing. All to serve the Emperor better, of course. And make myself and my lovely Baroness filthy rich and indispensable while serving him."

Themis made a rude sound. "At least you're open about it. I prefer that to the mealy-mouthed sycophants that surround the throne."

Layla added, "Oh, don't worry. We'll help you clear out that rabble."

Caedis took off running and pulled something from under a rock, raising a ghoul high in the air before simultaneously crushing its skull and slashing it in half. Sadly, the other ghouls were better at hiding and they arrived at the ACME building with no further incidents. The only people in sight were Professor Volminus sitting on the steps eating a large sandwich made from two loaves of bread with an entire roast chicken between them, and Benjamin standing relaxed but at attention. He saluted the General, which she returned.

Billy looked at the other golems. "Good job getting these set up and working, Ben. Did the delivery man already leave?"

"Yes sir. He wanted to get started before the storm moved in. He got his wagons underway, followed later by his rearguard. The gate closed behind him. Professors Tommaso are upstairs on the roof, and I think still alive. They wanted to make adjustments to the golem charging apparatus we installed. It worked splendidly, and will give the city protection against thunderstorms." As he said this, another bolt of lightning struck the tower.

All the golems glowed brightly. Billy looked at the other seven, then pointed to Caedis. "I'm putting Caedis in charge, he gets a name. When the rest of you do as good as he does, you get a cool name. Until then I'm calling you Eenie, Meenie, Miny, Moe, Tiny, Teeny, and Limpy. Runes appeared on the other golems. Mechanical laughter came from Caedis.

Billy pointed to the graveyard. "Take them on a tour of the graveyard, Caedis, and whip these slackers into shape. I want to see ghoul blood on every one of them when you come back to charge." Caedis thundered away, the others slowly stirred themselves.

Ben said, "We could always use some spare parts. I can disassemble any of them that don't please you, Your Excellency." With a jolt, the seven s-series golems started moving in the direction of the graveyard, complaining all the way.