The Broken Prince's Love

Lucille had only done two things for the past two weeks. Firstly, she had written letters to Fiona and received some in return. Secondly, she had spent time with Cedar. A lot of time. And for once, she didn't just do that because she wanted to.

Obviously, the prince didn't tell her what was wrong, but she could tell that he was upset because of something. She suspected that it had something to do with the fact that his brother forced him to maintain a specific routine.

At the moment, Cedar had to work for at least an hour before he and Lucille would come to visit the royal couple and Aurora. The empress made sure that the prince held the baby at least once during every meeting, even if Cedar always tried to avoid that. In the end, he was the most careful one with the little Aurora, but he still seemed to be worried. Much like he seemed discontent with the royal couple inviting them over to eat dinner once every few days.

Lucille found it easy to see when he smiled more to remind himself to hide his annoyance, so she quickly recognized patterns.

Cedar disliked it when his brother said that he trusted him. He also disliked being told that his mother was at fault for everything and not him. And he despised being pitied more than anything else. At least that seemed to be the case. This had caused him to be in a pretty bad mood at some points.

But right now, it was fine, even if he was still visibly annoyed. Cedar closed the door behind him while Lucille already waited in the hallway and gave her a bright smile. “That was it for today then. I apologize for taking so long.”

Lucille returned a little smile. “It's fine. Aurora is very cute, so I like seeing her. She seems to be fond of you. She always sleeps so calmly in your arms, and when anyone else takes her, she looks at them like she is angry.” That might be related to the fact that Cedar seemed to be able to hold his hands so steady that the little girl didn't even notice anything changing when she was handed over. But still, it was impressive.

Cedar didn't seem to be convinced of that though. “I think she is just sleepy, and I'm disturbing her because Her Majesty keeps asking me to hold her. I just hope that Theodore doesn't think that I will function as their nursemaid when the both of them can't keep their hands off each other.” That the royal couple would expect that was unlikely, but it was also questionable whether Cedar would just refuse. He probably would watch over the child just because he was worried about something bad happening if no one was there. No matter how much he wanted to hide it, it was obvious that he worried about Aurora. Most likely, because he feared that his mother would do something to her.

Lucille didn't say that though. “I don't think they will give away their child for longer than they have to.” Lucille also felt like she would do anything for her baby, so it wasn't surprising that the parents were so enamored.

Cedar shrugged when they walked down the stairs, naturally without either of them questioning that they would go somewhere together now. “I know that they love their angel, but they might want to give Aurora a sister or brother at some point. And to be honest, they probably won't even need a reason to be together. I almost can't imagine that they will wait too long with that. That is just one example of when their daughter can't be with them.”

Lucille immediately turned her eyes to the floor. “Ah. Yes. That makes sense.”

For a moment, the both of them were silent. They climbed down the stairs and arrived in the entrance hall, from which they left the palace to go into the garden.

Lucille only spoke up here when she was sure that no one was close enough to hear. “I want to ask something. Is that fine? It's about you and His and Her Majesty.”

Cedar steered toward the main path while replying. “Sure. I will answer it if you don't expect me to guess what they are thinking. Because I don't understand them at all.”

Lucille quickly resumed. “It's not about what they are thinking.” For a second, she considered stopping herself from voicing this, but in the end, her curiosity was too big. Still, she tried her best to be careful. “Do you dislike it when your brother and Her Majesty treat you like this? You always seem to be taken aback when they ask you to spend time with them. You don't like it very much when they make you hold your niece, and if someone tells you that they trust you in some way, you don't seem to believe them.” She slowly lifted her gaze to check whether Cedar would be angry if she said this. Yet, she didn't expect wrath, and she didn't get it either.

Cedar wasn't even annoyed. He spoke with a calm voice while seeming like he was just talking about facts. “My brother and I were raised to be enemies. You know that my mother always wanted me to overcome him. It's strange to suddenly act like I'm a part of the family, isn't it? He can't trust me out of nowhere. Needless to say, I'm taken aback by that. Because of his wife too. She used to hate me and openly showed that. Now she seems to have decided that I'm the uncle of her daughter and that I need to take care of her too. I have no idea why.”

Lucille scanned Cedar from the corner of her eyes. “I see.” She had barely witnessed anything but how the relationship of the members of the royal family had been portrayed in public, so she didn't have the details. She had no way to judge what was going on or how this had developed in any way. But she knew that Theodore wanted to allow his brother to get used to living in the palace without Camille disturbing him. She wasn't certain whether she wanted to say that the emperor had good intentions or whether she wanted to be silent to give Cedar a chance to deal with this himself. In the end, she wasn't forced to decide since the prince already spoke up.

“I don't get what is going on in my brother's head. I think letting me roam around here is stupid and dangerous, but well. I can't tell him what to do. So, I won't try to understand him. We should forget about that and take a look at something else. Specifically, the surprise.”

Lucille was taken aback when she heard that. She glanced at Cedar with confusion. “A surprise? Are we doing something special?”

A bright grin grew on Cedar's face. “Maybe. Didn't you notice that we are going to a special place by now? We have been there a few times already, but this time, it's probably a bit more pleasant. We are currently at the end of autumn, you know? The seasons in Artias don't do much, but there is a specific flower that only blooms for about two weeks a year, and it's currently in its best form. I checked on them yesterday, and they were quite beautiful. I thought you might want to see them.”

Lucille only noticed that they weren't on the main path anymore now. They had passed by the labyrinth and reached the winter garden. She had to admit that she was curious about what Cedar had promised.

When she reached the winter garden and stood in front of the entrance, she didn't get her answer yet. She had to be patient for a bit longer.

Of course, Cedar made her wait. He kept his eyes on her face while he slowly opened the door at such a leisure pace that it took way too long. When he was finally done, he just stepped inside and walked a few steps before turning around to watch her reaction. He probably wasn't disappointed.

Lucille was used to a beautiful sight inside, so she hadn't expected to find anything extraordinary. But that immediately changed when she caught a glimpse of the special flowers Cedar had spoken about. She couldn't help but stare at the scenery in awe. She had never seen those flowers in bloom. Lucille could be certain about that. After all, those were so beautiful and striking that she could never miss them.

She had no idea what those flowers were called, but they were dark red with elongated petals and stood out more than most other plants. They were everywhere, grew up on some pillars and tinted the entire scenery in a new color. If those just bloomed for two weeks, it was a shame.

Lucille gave herself a moment to look around before she turned and took in how different the winter garden seemed just because of this one sort of flower. When she had scanned her surroundings for long enough, she met Cedar's gaze.

The prince already looked at her with a smirk. “They're as red as your hair. I had to think about you immediately when I saw this. That's why it would be nice if we could sit here for a while to enjoy them properly. I asked for a picnic to be delivered. Apparently, the servants didn't ignore me this time since everything is standing here. Would you grant me the honor of accompanying me to the table?”

Lucille ignored the way her heart skipped a beat and just nodded. “Gladly.” She followed him to the center of the tiled plaza and sat down when he pulled back the chair for her. She expected him to walk to the other side, but he stood behind her for a moment longer. For a few seconds, nothing happened, so she looked up at him. Before she could even understand what was going on, he already finished.

“The cake isn't the only gift I prepared.” Cedar moved one hand on the side of her head to keep her steady and carefully put something into her hair with the other one. He didn't seem to notice how her brain stopped working at that and how her skin began tingling where he had touched her. When he was done a few seconds later, he stepped back to gaze at her. “As I thought, it fits you. It's not the exact same color, so it's perfect. Now you only need the rest.” Cedar spun around without giving her a chance to respond. He only took a few steps until he was at the pillar and reached behind it. He pulled out a small bouquet and came back to her with a smile on his face. “There you go.” He handed the bouquet to her while watching her every movement.

Lucille was momentarily stunned. She wasn't sure what to say when she received the flowers. She looked at the beautiful bouquet before gazing at the man in front of her. What was she supposed to say when he had gifted her something so beautiful without even being embarrassed about it? Weren't flowers a romantic gesture? She already felt the blood rush to her cheeks so that she feared that she would be as red as these flowers soon.

“You...” Lucille lowered her gaze before looking up again. She wanted to thank him, even if she almost didn't want to make eye contact. “Thank you very much. They are truly pretty. I don't...” She didn't remember ever receiving flowers from anyone. She could barely force her voice to reach the necessary volume when she continued. “I will put them in a vase in my room so that I can look at them the whole time. They are really beautiful. Thank you for giving those to me.”

Cedar's smile was probably a just as great gift as the flowers. “I'm glad to hear that. I almost didn't want to ask anyone to cut off these rare flowers, but it was worth it.” He still didn't go to the other side to sit down but stayed right next to her while he spoke.

Lucille looked up at him before glancing down. She allowed herself to enjoy the fragrance of the flowers for a moment before she met his gaze again and replied. “But...why? Did something special happen?” Had she done something he wanted to thank her for? She couldn't remember anything being different from before. Except for her overthinking every little thing since her father's visit, but that was it.

Cedar smirked down at her, which made it seem like she had overlooked something. “No reason. Can't I just give you a present like this without waiting for a special occurrence? But I have to admit that there is a small thing that gave me the idea. I noticed something. For the past two weeks, you've been a bit...more on edge around me. At first, I was worried, but it wasn't in a bad way. Instead, you always seemed to look at me strangely before quickly averting your eyes. And when we met servants, you always acted like you were worried about them seeing us.”

Had she done that? No way. Had she made it that obvious? Lucille had to admit that she had been lost in thought ever since the meeting with her father. She couldn't help thinking about what her and Cedar's relationship meant.

For a while, she hadn't been certain about whether she would even dare to call what she was feeling love. Maybe not yet. After all, they hadn't done anything romantic yet and were only friends. But she was probably in the middle of falling in love.

And her father's words had reminded her how serious this topic was. After all, Lucille would have to marry at some point, and she would have to prepare for that. Right now, the thought of being forced to wed a stranger was awful, and the idea of marrying someone like Cedar instead was tempting. They got along well and would definitely be able to spend enjoyable times together. If she had a husband like him, she might even fall in love with him at some point.

There was no denying that she had actually thought about what it would be like to become Cedar's wife. But there was a little issue here.

Lucille was still Lucille Valerian. She was merely the daughter of a viscount and not more. Her family didn't have too much political influence, and nothing about her was special enough to draw in an extraordinary person either.

And Cedar certainly was an extraordinary person. It was almost ridiculous how perfect he was in comparison. His rank, personality and pretty much everything else couldn't be said to be on a remotely similar level to Lucille's.

So, them actually getting together was impossible. At least unless Cedar was really serious about this too. But she could barely believe that something about her was striking enough to make him consider putting in that effort.

Lucille only snapped out of her thoughts when Cedar gently poked her cheek.

The prince seemed far too smug upon seeing her nervous reaction. “You were distracted again. Were you thinking about me?” Yes. In fact, she had thought about whether it would be possible for them to marry.

Lucille almost bit her tongue out of fear of spilling this on accident. She took a deep breath before replying. “I...apologize for that. What were you saying?”

Cedar beamed at her. “I said that this gift may also have been for me too. I wanted to do something special for once. Your reaction was a fitting reward, so I guess it was a good idea.” He couldn't hide how he relished in seeing the slight blush on her face, which only served to make her even redder.

Lucille slowly averted her eyes while muttering her response. “It was a good idea. If you had told me, I would have brought something too.”

“There is no need. You already gave me a present, remember? I have the handkerchief with me still. So, you don't have to gift me anything else until I bring you something that will last longer than a flower too. Unfortunately, those will wither in a few days.” The fact that Cedar still had her present was enough to satisfy her.

Lucille couldn't help but smile at that. “It's fine. We can just come to look at the flowers here again in the future. I am very happy about the bouquet. It's the first time someone gifted me flowers.” There she had said it despite not wanting to do it.

Cedar seemed to find his chance to tease her more immediately. “Are you sure? I'm pretty certain that you have to be lying. You are such a charming young lady. There have to be dozens of suitors waiting to capture your heart.” Lucille already had enough here, but he added another comment in a whisper. “You really are beautiful. You should know that.”

This served to completely knock all air out of her lungs. Lucille could only look at Cedar and open and close her mouth like a fish on land. She felt how her cheeks burned up and immediately lowered her gaze. She almost wanted to hide her face, but she had to hold her bouquet, so she had no way to shield herself from his piercing gaze.

Cedar shamelessly used that to keep watching her. He seemed rather content and only added another bit to his long list of compliments. “No one told you that you are adorable when you get embarrassed, have they?”

Lucille felt like her heart might give in if he went on like this. She already heard the beating of her heart so loudly that she feared that he might hear it too. She forced herself to meet Cedar's gaze for a moment and immediately regretted it. Those eyes could probably make her confess anything. And so, her mouth opened on its own. “I usually never...am this...affected. That's...” She looked away and pressed out the rest in a tone that almost sounded like she was sulking. “Only if you are here.” That was embarrassing. She had just admitted it outright. Lucille lowered her head and lifted the flowers to shield at least a part of her face.

Cedar still didn't release her despite that. He just smirked at her and brought his face closer to hers. “If I'm the only one that can see you like this, that is a special honor. Then it seems like I earned a wonderful privilege. It's only mine now, right? Then I will have to come up with some ways to use it.” He couldn't know what he made her body do, or he wouldn't dare to act like this.

Lucille's heart pounded so loudly. She could barely ignore it anymore. Still, she forced herself to reply in a quiet voice. “You are already teasing me enough. You're...doing it on purpose, right?” He couldn't just be doing this without noticing it.

Cedar let out a small chuckle. “Of course.” He slowly moved his hand so that she could see it from the corner of her eyes. He lifted a strand of her hair between two fingers and wrapped it around one. When he carefully unrolled it again, he brought it to his lips and placed a small kiss on her hair. Then he gave her a smile that made her stomach churn and her breath hitch before he whispered to her. “Does it look like I am unaware of what I'm doing?” It didn't look like that at all. In fact, he could easily have told her that he was used to seducing women and that he had managed to get a hundred of them to fall for him already, and she would believe him.

Lucille opened her mouth and closed it again.

Cedar still just looked at her. “Well?”

So, she had to respond. “It...doesn't look like you...are doing it coincidentally.”

Cedar was so close in front of her, but he still managed to come a bit closer. “Did you really question that for a moment? What did you expect of me? That I'm like this around everyone? I can assure you that that's not the case. I never even had the desire to hug anyone before I met you. I didn't feel the need to console others nor did I imagine that spending time with someone and talking to them could be so wonderful. It seems like you truly came into my world and turned it over completely.” He kept staring into her eyes while he said that.

Lucille couldn't help but swallow. Her whole body felt hot all of a sudden. As if she had a fever. The tingling in her stomach made her being sick seem much more likely, but she knew that this wasn't it. Her body was reacting to Cedar. Just hearing him whisper to her like this while he was so close opened strange doors in her mind.

It was just a little thought at first.

He was so close that the tips of their noses could touch if they just moved a bit. Why would someone lean over like this if they didn't have any hidden intentions? Maybe, just maybe, he wanted to kiss her.

And as soon as Lucille thought that, it was over. A part of her told her to wait for that kiss and to enjoy it while the other part scolded her for being so stupid. If one approached this logically, there was no reason for Cedar to kiss her. But her body didn't listen to logic. Right now, it seemed like her feelings had the upper hand by far. So, it wasn't surprising that she licked her lips without even wanting to do it.

That only drew his attention downwards. For a moment, Cedar seemed to look at her lips. Was he thinking about it?

She had no idea. She couldn't focus on his expression even if she wanted to. Her brain was in an uproar, so there was no way for her to think clearly.

And then, all of a sudden, Cedar pulled away and straightened his posture again. “This is a horrible idea.” It was like the bubble of the dream that had built itself up was destroyed with just this little sentence.

That hurt. More than Lucille wanted to admit.

It felt like a bucket of icy water had been poured over her head. She blinked a few times and tried to ignore how her heart ached as if it had been pierced by a needle. Of course, this was a horrible idea. There was no way that Cedar truly saw her similarly to what she saw him as. Obviously, he wouldn't cross any boundaries like this. It should have been clear from the very beginning.

And yet, it hurt.

Lucille quickly averted her gaze. She wanted to swallow all of her bitterness, she really did. The logical thing to do now was to accept it. She should quickly run away to get a vase and put the flowers inside. In the meantime, she would calm down, and then everything should be fine. But she didn't even manage to propose that. As soon as her lips parted, something she hadn't wanted to voice came out. “If you are doing things like this, it's obvious that I would misunderstand.” She immediately lowered her gaze after she said that. She stared at the floor while stiffening.

Had she messed up? She had revealed that she had hoped for a kiss. Now Cedar would think that she was strange and wouldn't see her anymore. How wonderful. It seemed like she truly was too careless when it came to him.

Only a few seconds passed before Cedar spoke. “I think you really misunderstood, but the issue is not...” His voice trailed off. For a moment, he just stared at her before something similar to a sigh came out of his mouth. Cedar came closer again and leaned down. Before she could ask what he was doing, he brought a hand to her head and brushed over her forehead before placing his lips on that very spot.

It was just a small peck, but that was enough to make Lucille feel like she turned to stone. She barely managed to open her mouth and look at Cedar while her thoughts made a mess in her brain.

He wasn't smiling at the moment. He just had a neutral expression with slight traces of concern. Even his voice sounded less cheerful than normal when he spoke. “I like you. And that is the problem. This won't do you any good. In fact, I will only cause you more problems than I can give good things in return. You don't want to be this close to a person like me. I should have paid more attention before. I'm sorry.” He took a step back again.

Lucille lifted her head and stared at him. What was he saying? That was his reasoning for why he couldn't kiss her? But he hadn't said that he didn't want to do it. Instead, he had worried about her. He hadn't said much, but that was enough to understand the general idea of what he was thinking. And for some reason, she immediately wanted to refute that. “But you never caused any problems for me until now. You only made my life much more pleasant by spending time with me. And what do you mean by ‘a person like you’? You are wonderful. There are few others as nice as you are.”

Of course, Cedar still didn't like being told that he wasn't the bad one. His smile immediately returned, even though his eyes held some sort of regret. “Does anyone aside from you think that too?”

Lucille's reply came immediately. “Does that matter? I like you, and this...” Whatever this was. “Only concerns us.” That wasn't quite true since the relationships of the royal family were important for all nobles and even for all citizens of Artias. But still.

Cedar remained silent for a short moment. He seemed to be unsure of what to say, which was rare for him. But of course, he found something a moment later. “You are awfully confident all of a sudden. You get louder and speak with more emphasis when you get emotional. Is this really so...important to you?” He probably had meant to change the topic, but in the end, his voice had gotten a bit weaker, and he stuck to the matter at hand. Good.

Because Lucille had an obvious answer here. Even if embarrassment flushed her cheeks and made her feel like ice was rushing through her veins, she nodded vigorously. “Of course. You're...” She had no words to describe it, but she didn't want to stop now. “One of the most important people in my life. I would even say that you are...you are...” She cared about Fiona with her whole heart. But what she felt for Cedar was different from that. “I care for you deeply as a friend, but...” She almost didn't want to say it. She would end up embarrassing herself if she was wrong about this. But she had already shown him how vulnerable she seemed to be when it came to him. She couldn't do much more wrong. She had the feeling that not speaking up here could result in Cedar cutting himself off from her entirely. Lucille hated that thought, so she would have to speak. “I think it's more than that.” She almost began crying while she said that.

Seconds passed in silence. She was already sure that Cedar would just turn around and leave because she had misinterpreted all signals and he felt offended now.

But he stayed.

Cedar's voice was much quieter than normal when he spoke. “More than...friendship?”

Lucille was glad that he had said it because she could barely speak anymore. She was scared of the response, so she squeezed her eyes shut when she nodded.

Again, seconds passed without them saying anything.