The Broken Prince's Love

“I hope that you won't get too angry because I refused that offer of yours twice in a row. I may have to take you up on that now.” As per usual, Cedar's lie was accepted flawlessly.

“You don't...mean the contraceptives, right?” Theodore almost sounded a bit panicked.

Cedar seriously considered playing that game for a bit. His brother would be quick to react to news about a possible rival for his daughter, so it would be easy to lead Theodore on for a short moment. But he glanced at the emperor and quickly decided that the possible consequences were too problematic. He couldn't risk making that man believe that Lucille might be pregnant in the near future. So, he returned his usual mocking smile as he replied. “You're a bit naive, aren't you? You once said that you didn't believe a word out of my mouth, and you should stick to that.”

Theodore wasn't even annoyed. He visibly relaxed. “Don't scare me like this. Normally, I'm cautious when it comes to believing you, but this wouldn't have been surprising. It's obvious that this is only a matter of time, so I would really suggest just agreeing to the doctor's offer. And please tell me if something ends up happening. I don't suddenly want to wake up to another child being born. We need to prepare in that case.”

Cedar considered commenting on how he wouldn't have any children who could cause trouble for Aurora later anyway, but he kept quiet. “That won't happen any time soon. You can believe me when it comes to this topic, even if I understand that that's difficult for you. I'd appreciate it if you reminded the doctor that he doesn't have to offer contraceptives each time he sees me.”

The emperor shrugged. “We'll see. Depending on how many nights you spend in Lady Valerian's room, I might need to ask her to accept them soon.” Lucille would die of embarrassment if someone told her that.

Cedar refuted that immediately. “Don't bother her with your strange comments, please. She would not like that very much. If you have the desire to trouble one person, annoy me. Even if I doubt that this is really logical.” Cedar ignored the little thought that grew in the back of his mind when he thought about Lucille and focused on reality. He glanced to the side and stopped when he saw how the empress watched them with a bright smile. He tried to ignore that for a moment, but then he didn't manage to hold back and turned to her. “It seems like you are rather content with something, Your Maj-”

Blanche abruptly stopped him. “No title in private. And even in public, I would favor going without it. I will remind you with more vigor from now on. And how could I not be content? You and Theo are finally getting along, and it looks like you are in the middle of finding a wife too. That is wonderful.”

Did it look like Cedar and Theodore got along? The emperor probably still hated his brother for what had happened during the past twenty years, and the prince couldn't blame him. And did it really look like Lucille liked Cedar enough to marry him? Did he show that he cared about her so openly? That wasn't good.

Cedar didn't say any of that though. “If you say that, then it has to be true. I will remind you of that if it doesn't end well.”

Blanche didn't seem to get the joke here. “Everything will end well. We are making sure of that, and our unfair advantage helps us. Say, Cedar. I never asked you about this. What do you think about second chances?” What kind of question was that?

Cedar didn't even get a second to respond.

Theodore already looked over at his wife with a serious expression. “Blanche.”

She moved over to him and leaned against her husband while gazing down at their daughter in his arms. “It's fine. He obviously doesn't remember. We checked multiple times.” For a moment, the couple just made eye contact before he stiffly nodded, and she turned back to the prince. “So?”

Cedar scanned the two of them with skepticism. He had no idea what this was supposed to do now. Did they want to get him to spill some secret? He didn't really hide much, but he would play along for the moment. “Second chances? What kind of second chances? I'm obviously using mine here because Theodore didn't put me in prison despite me breaking into the palace with a bunch of mercenaries.” It almost seemed like his brother relaxed at that.

Blanche shook her head and continued in a much too serious voice. “That's not exactly what we mean.”

Theodore took over at that point. “It's rather a hypothetical question. Like if the gods, or whatever is controlling this world, allowed you to start over from a specific point in your life. So that you could, for example, avoid making the stupidest thing you could ever imagine. Of course, that isn't really possible. We just found that concept interesting and wanted to know what you think about it.”

By now, Cedar was dumbfounded. Why was he supposed to argue about a hypothetical scenario that was impossible? He had no idea. He wasn't even sure what he would say now. Cedar leaned back in his chair and pretended to think for a moment. What would he do differently if he had his current memories?

The answer came way too quickly. He would prevent Althea's death.

Aside from that, he would avoid all the horrible things that had happened while embracing the positive ones. For example, he would still let that royal guard slit his side open just so that he could go meet Lucille. But this topic was rather complex if one thought about it logically. Since that wasn't necessary, he didn't do it for long though.

Cedar just gave a quick response to make it seem like he didn't care much. “Well, isn't it rather obvious? If I am able to do a whole part of my life again, the original thing wasn't what I was supposed to do. If I'm forced to do something over, I will have to make it better. Naturally, that would include erasing things like the ‘stupidest thing you could ever imagine’ you mentioned. And even if you didn't do much wrong, you could still do better with memories of the future. In any case, this can only gain you advantages.”

Blanche seemed much too happy about this choice. “Right? Because you could change everything and make the world better for everyone around you too.” Her smile faded a bit after she said that. “So, you think that the second version is the better one? Even if some nice things didn't happen because of that?”

Cedar was about to say that he had no idea why he should reply to such strange inquiries, but her expression made him reconsider. He just responded. “Of course, that version is better. Because this obviously allows you to avoid the same bad things twice. And if you need to sacrifice some pleasant things to take care of that first, it's not a big issue. You just have to use everything at your disposal to regain those things later. After all, you could practically remember the future, right? Such an advantage should be used properly You can create the perfect life for you easily.” Well, maybe it wasn't that easy. But since this topic was unimportant anyway, exaggerating wasn't an issue. The prince gazed at the other's reactions, only to wonder what was going on inside their heads.

The royal spouses were silent for a moment and exchanged a few looks. They were definitely too insistent on this. It wasn't logical for them to suddenly want a discussion about such matters with him.

Cedar seriously considered excusing himself when the silence went on for much longer.

But at some point, Theodore spoke up in a faint voice. “Naturally, one should live to the fullest in that second world. But one shouldn't forget the mistakes in the first one since one still has to make up for those. And one should live every single day to ask for forgiveness.” That was awfully harsh, wasn't it?

Blanche didn't seem to like that comment very much. She cuddled against her lover and whispered to him. “Don't say that. Everyone makes mistakes. At some point, those have to be forgotten if the other person said that it was fine. There is no need to cling to something that was a nightmare and will never come back.” They were awfully serious about this, it was almost funny.

Cedar just sat there and wanted to vanish into thin air. He felt like he was intruding on an important conversation even if he had been invited. Technically, he had held Aurora, so his job here was done, right? He didn't need to listen to them for much longer. Cedar opened his mouth, but seeing how the couple whispered to each other made him refrain from interrupting them. He kept quiet and waited for a moment until a pause followed. Then he spoke up. “I can leave the two of you alone if you want me to step out. I do not wish to-”

Blanche cut him off. “I apologize. We did not mean to make you feel ignored. We will stop. That was just a very...an interesting topic. What do you think about forgiveness and regret? Isn't there a limit to how long one has to torture oneself?”

It was almost ironic that she asked Cedar this when he regretted too many things in his life.

He regretted not being able to save Althea. He regretted going along with everything his mother said and only noticing that he could help others too late. He regretted going out that day when he was fourteen, and he regretted begging for a punishment to calm his mother. He regretted not being closer to his brother and not being allowed to live with Althea. He regretted coming up with a plan that had ended up hurting Lucille.

Cedar regretted more than he was content with. It was almost laughable, really. He hated this topic and would like to avoid it. So, he just gave some answer to distract the others. “In regard to having a second chance at life and going back in time, right? Do you see it as some sort of chance to repent? Maybe. But isn't it more about moving on? I mean, if whatever gave someone this second chance wanted them to regret and suffer, there would be a different way. You could make those people go through the same thing again and again. Like a time loop. So that you see your mistakes over and over until you slowly crack under the pressure. That would be what forces people to repent quicker and with more emphasis. So, I think that clinging to that old version would be stupid since you are rather supposed to focus on change in the new version.”

Cedar had just gone along with it while saying something that he didn't really care about. He hadn't expected the couple in front of him to look at him in utter shock. He hadn't proposed something horrible, had he? Seemingly, he had said something they disliked without wanting it. Great.

Theodore almost seemed a bit paler when he muttered his response. “That would be torture. That would have... Hypothetically, I mean. That's a horrifying concept.”

Blanche quickly leaned her head against his arm and spoke to him in a soft voice. “It truly is. But of course, that didn't happen.”

Cedar had to admit that he felt a little bad, so he quickly added his response too. “You don't have to take that personally and be so dejected. I just said that to underline that a second chance should be used to make a change. Even though I have to admit that your hypothetical scenario is awfully unrealistic.” Time travel would be way too convenient to prevent some issues from happening.

The couple was quiet for a second before Theodore put on a bright smile. “Of course. It was just a hypothetical question. Thank you for playing along. But we have different things to talk about. I heard the dowager empress bothered you for the past few days. Should I do something about that?” Since this was about Camille, that offer was probably a threat.

Cedar was tempted to accept, but he shook his head. “It's fine. She is just protesting. Today, I accidentally ran into her while bringing Luciano out of the building. I spoke to her for a minute, and that sated my desire to see her for the next year. I suppose the servants got rid of her already.”

Theodore's smile faded. “I have to disappoint you in that regard. I already heard that she is still standing at the entrance. Apparently, no one dares to drag her out by her hair, even though I gave them explicit permission. I almost fear that the servants are scared of her.” How come he already knew about that? Did he really have someone that told him what Camille was doing at all times? If so, that was helpful and relieving.

Cedar shrugged while doing his best to sound indifferent when it came to his mother. “She doesn't treat the staff members with too much kindness. That's why the guards should deal with her. Is it too harsh if I say that they can hit her back if she slaps them? If you allow them that, there shouldn't be any issues, right?”

The emperor sighed at that. “No. Then she'll insist on a trial. I'm frankly too fed up at the moment. I already considered just throwing her into a carriage myself since she can't really charge me with anything. But I refuse to touch her, so that's an issue.”

Well, Cedar surely wouldn't carry Camille home either. “I see. You should tell the guards that they can be a bit more direct with her anyway. She is too prideful to believe that someone will hurt her, which they definitely should avoid. But they can tie her hands and carry her to the mansion if she causes problems. I, for my part, won't go talk to her again. She isn't even listening, so seeing her is completely unnecessary.”

Blanche nodded. “We wouldn't demand that of you anyway. You aren't responsible for her. She will deal with her problems by herself now. She will have to pay for what she did, and no one else will be held accountable.” Blanche sounded so determined while speaking that it felt strange. She normally didn't act like this.

Cedar had to admit that he wasn't quite sure about why the empress tried to ease his worry about being sent out to deal with Camille. But he just showed her a smile. “Thank you very much. I don't have the desire to argue with her. I assume that no one does. So, this topic won't help us much unless you want to bond about how horrible she is.” He had expected to get some strange looks for that. Instead, he was only greeted by the same infuriating amount of pity he had faced after Theodore had dragged him to his office. He stayed quiet for a moment before speaking up. “It seems like I ruined the mood with that. I already told you enough about that topic. How about-”

Theodore replied before his brother could even suggest leaving. “Wait. Don't run away now. I feel like this is a good chance to continue the conversation you interrupted last time. Cedar, regarding the fireplace incident. We-” So, it was about the time they had met in Theodore's office.

Cedar usually listened to the emperor's orders unless he had a good reason to ignore them. This time, he had a very good reason. He stood up and showed the couple the most radiant smile he could muster. “I have no idea what you are referring to. I told you that thrice now.” Last time, he had acted like he didn't remember that occurrence too. Of course, Theodore hadn't believed his brother for a single second, but Cedar wouldn't change his strategy here.

He refused to talk about this matter specifically. Cedar might be willing to explain what had happened during most incidents of his childhood and even give a general summary of this one. He might even have told his brother everything if he hadn't been forced to see Theodore's expression full of pity in the meantime. But he surely wouldn't go into any detail when it came to what exactly Camille had done. Admitting that Cedar had never been forced to accept such a punishment and had even begged for one after his mother had yelled at him for a while was too humiliating. He wouldn't ever give anyone the full story.

Theodore only looked at his brother with the same infuriating worried expression. “Cedar, you don't have to lie. We know what happened. You don't have to talk about it, but please admit it at least. The doctor told me about the burn scars on your back. Did that woman seriously-”

Cedar could just beam at that and cut his brother off in a tone that was much too cheerful. “I would admit it if there was anything to admit. But I fear that I do not remember anything remotely similar to what you said. Maybe my memory will be refreshed if I hear who else would know about this and how they were supposed to guess what happened, and in fact did not happen, inside that room. I asked for a name last time, and you never replied.”

For a moment, it was silent.

That was all that Cedar needed. “As I thought. If you have no witnesses or reasons to believe in that story, we can agree that that incident never happened. For now, I take-”

Blanche was the one who spoke up. “I was the one that told Theo about it. After that...box came.” She remained quiet for a few seconds while the prince stared at her while trying to hold back his irritation. She bit her lip for a moment before speaking. “It's impossible to explain. As I said, you wouldn't understand. But you told me about that. Not everything, of course. Just the main part about you trying to leave the palace for a day and then coming back. But that was enough to know what happened. So, I told Theodore after we saw that...that horrible thing in the box.” She sounded like she was being honest, and that only made it worse.

Because she was lying to his face.

Cedar crossed his arms and smiled at her, even though he could guess that everyone saw that his mood was horrible. “That's odd, Your Majesty. Because I am pretty sure that I'd rather bite off my tongue than tell anyone about something that didn't happen. I don't remember speaking about that with you either. Why would I when we never were especially close?”

Blanche met his gaze, seemingly without even the slightest bit of guilt. “I'm not lying. You are good at reading people. That's why you should see that I'm not being dishonest. I already told you that I know more about you than you can imagine. I also said that you wouldn't remember no matter how hard you tried. I know so many things that I can assure you that there is no way that I gained that information through anyone else. You have to believe me. I know about your nightmares too. No one knows that you have them, right? So, how could I lie to you when I tell you that you are the one who explained all of that to me?”

That was even worse. The nightmares were another part of Cedar's mind he never admitted to anyone.

Cedar had no idea why Blanche knew and why she claimed that he had shared it with her. Surely, any other explanation wouldn't be possible, but this one didn't make sense either. He was slowly but surely getting frustrated. Had he accidentally blurted out some hints about this at some point? Maybe after he had upset Blanche and tried to calm her down again? No way.

There was no way that he would address the topic that was so important to him. He would never mention the fireplace nor would he ever talk about his dreams. No one except for him would be able to know about his nightmares about Althea. Surely, Blanche had to be bluffing.

Cedar didn't need to deal with that. “I would like to ask for permission to leave.”

Theodore responded this time. “You don't have to retreat immediately because of that. We will drop the subject if it's that uncomfortable for you. I only want to-”

Blanche lifted her hand to stop him. She showed Cedar a faint smile before responding. “He isn't doing this because he wants to remind you of your bad times. We wouldn't use such filthy tricks. He isn't pitying you either. He is angry. Very much so, and I'm the same too. You can rest assured that the person who caused you so much pain will get back what she deserves. We won't make you talk. Just know that we are on your side and will help you to the best of our abilities. That woman won't ever hurt you again. You may leave if you want to, but we would favor it if you stayed.”

Cedar wasn't sure what to do about that now. Surely, he could leave, but he would feel like he was running away then. Wouldn't he admit that this memory was painful to him then? He had already reacted too sensitively to seeing the skewer. This meant that he had to cover up the rest, or he would lose all of his dignity.

Slowly sitting down on the chair again, he scanned the people in front of him with something unreadable in his gaze. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do with Blanche's confusing words. He would have to think about that later to find out whether he had been careless at some point. But he actually didn't want to do that at all. Now his mood was effectively ruined, and he would like to lock himself in his room while avoiding bad thoughts that could only make this worse.

Still, there might be one person that could cheer him up again.

The only problem was that Cedar would have to wait a few minutes before seeing her. First, he would have to listen to an enamored couple gushing about how cute their daughter, who peacefully slept through the whole conversation, was.