The Broken Prince's Love

Cedar could only watch as Lucille stormed out of the room as if she was being chased by a bloodthirsty beast. She had said that she would only need to be at her friend's house in two hours, but apparently, she was worried about being too late anyway. It only took a second before she disappeared, and all that was left behind was the faint trace of her perfume. Normally, Cedar hated perfume, but he was actually able to endure this one. It wasn't as strong as the one his mother and her friends used. But of course, that didn't matter.

The prince counted until sixty and finished his meal in the meantime. As soon as he was done, he put down the plate and stood up.

He didn't know how much time he had today, but a few hours should be enough. After all, he had slacked off for too long. He changed into the servant clothes that Lucille had left for him and walked over to the far end of the room, which he had already cleaned before. There, he knelt down and tried to ignore how much his side ached while he did that. He pulled out his sword from behind a chest and carefully unsheathed it.

Apparently, Lucille was trusting enough not to have exchanged it. She had just left it by his side despite not having a clue about his intentions. He wasn't sure whether that made her kind or just naive. Most likely, it was the latter one.

Cedar took the sword and grabbed a towel from the chest. Then he walked into the corridor and went downstairs. He normally trained outside and would favor doing so now too, but he couldn't risk anyone seeing him. No servant would suddenly begin swinging a sword around, so he couldn't even depend on people not recognizing his face. He would have to settle for using the entrance hall of the annex.

He reached the grand room and quickly looked around to make sure that he was alone. As Lucille had said, the whole building aside from the room he slept in was full of dust. No one seemed to care enough to clean it except for the young lady of the house herself, who had apparently done this for the past decade or so. This was rather unusual, but the fact that she ate here daily was just as strange. It seemed like this house held some sentimental value to her. This was none of Cedar's business though, so he wouldn't pry for now, even if he could imagine whom it was related to.

The prince pushed aside some crates to make space while gritting his teeth. His side hurt much more than he had anticipated. A part of him almost considered taking a longer break until he was better again, but he obviously wouldn't do that. He hadn't trained for two weeks, and that was the most he had gone without using his sword ever since he had been four or five. Unless one counted the two short breaks he had taken after he had injured himself more severely.

Normally, Cedar might admit that he should count the current event as such a severe injury as well, but his motivation to train was much too big since he was out of confinement after all this time. Now that he could finally use a real sword instead of a wooden stick, which would usually be taken away by some guard too, he would get as much out of it as possible. He needed to make sure that he didn't get weaker just because he sat around here the whole day. It should be fine as long as he didn't overdo it. He couldn't run his rounds either, so he would just practice swinging for a bit. Unfortunately, he didn't have a target, but he could work with attacking the air too.

Cedar began stretching and did his best to ignore how his side burned while warming up his muscles. He would only need a bit of time, and then he should be fine. He would manage to train a bit if he just forced himself. But after the first few swings, he quickly noticed that his body didn't agree with him. He let out a sigh and paused while pressing his hand against his side.

His arm was fine. The gash there had burned a bit for the past weeks, but it had already healed by now. His upper body still hurt as much as before though.

Maybe training now was a bad idea, but he wouldn't let that stop him. Cedar needed to improve as much as possible, no matter whether he was a bit sensitive right now. He couldn't keep acting like a child that kept on whining because of a small paper cut. He had already had two weeks to recover. It should be fine to start moving now. He began again and used a bit less energy this time. Still, his side felt like his skin would tear open soon again.

Cedar gave himself another half an hour to warm up, but it still wasn't better. So, he just forced himself to take a few swings while pausing in between. But again, it didn't get less painful with time. At some point, he was getting pretty annoyed with himself. He lowered his arm in frustration and stared straight ahead.

Then he probably didn't have much of a choice. If he wanted to train but his self-control wasn't strong enough, there was a simple way to give himself some motivation. What was the best emotion to grant you the energy to train your body?

Pure rage.

That was easy enough to induce. If it was strong enough, one didn't even feel the pain anymore, so it was perfect.

Cedar took a few deep breaths before closing his eyes. He had enough triggers, so this was easy. What was the thing that infuriated him most? His family, without a doubt.

His father. The cold emperor that had never even looked at his second son. He had only cared for an heir, and the second child had been a bother to him, much like his wife. Yet, this damn coward had never acted and only shown his indifference, seemingly without caring whether his dearest ones, his beloved first son and his mistress, were suffering because of this.

Cedar's mother was even worse though. She couldn't even ignore her child despite not being able to raise him properly. Instead, she forced Cedar to deal with her mood swings. On some days, she clung to him as if he was an anchor that kept her on the ground, and on some days, when her plans had failed, she only told him how incapable he was. Or she spent more time raging about his brother than reacting to her second son.

And that person had to be the worst of all.

Theodore Estien, the emperor of Artias and Cedar's older brother by five years. The golden son. The best ruler that had existed for a few decades. He excelled in every field of study, and the gods seemed to adore him. After all, he had been lucky enough to be adopted by a loving mother while Cedar had been left to rot. And now, Theodore even had the nerve to act like he wanted his brother to have a second chance. Cedar's life had been in shambles because of him. Didn't he know that?

Thinking about that much was already enough to ruin the prince's mood, and he felt how the well-known fury slowly came creeping in. What else could give him the motivation to train now?

Certainly, the fact that he was much better than Theodore when it came to sword-fighting. The only times that Cedar had ever won had been during duels with his brother. This had caused quite a few interesting scenes back when the prince hadn't been able to control his anger. For example, when he had threatened his beloved older brother with their father's sword. What had been the reason for that fight? He wasn't sure anymore.

Maybe Theodore had accidentally touched the prince. Maybe he had just told his brother to stop complaining because the prince wouldn't give up on the music box that Althea had gifted Theodore. Cedar hadn't cared about that little item much, even if it was odd to see that a concubine was able to give her son a gift while the empress hadn't been able to pick out something thoughtful. What he had cared about was being told that he didn't have a much harder life than anyone else and that he should stop whining about it.

Surely, there had been more to that fight, but Cedar didn't need that much. The only thing he concentrated on was the deep-rooted hatred he felt for his brother. Finally wiping that confident expression off Theodore's face had been so satisfying back then, but it hadn't changed much about the situation. His brother was still everyone's favorite, and the whole world seemed to revolve around Theodore. In fact, even Cedar's life had revolved around him since their mother had raised her second son with the expectation of him surpassing Theodore.

It always came down to Theodore.

Theodore, the perfect emperor, who lived the perfect life with a loving wife and soon a child.

Theodore, who had never been forced to face his father's indifference and the full extent of his mother's rage.

Cedar didn't need much more than that. A single reminder of one of his countless triggers was enough. He just needed to tell himself that there wasn't a single person out there that cared about him unless he could grant them some benefit. Even his own mother wasn't different.

And those thoughts were sufficient to make the familiar feeling of twisted resentment come back. It was much easier to deal with than when he had been a child, but he still needed to vent his anger now.

That was exactly what he had hoped for.

A wide grin spread on Cedar's lips as he stared at the air in front of him with nothing but fury. If he imagined that Theodore was right here, training quickly became a treat. So, he began.

He noticed the faint aching of his wound, but it wasn't bad. At least it wasn't bad enough to get through to his hazy mind. He could finally practice without needing to fight against his own body. It was perfect. He took one swing after the other and waited for his muscles to get used to the familiar movements again. Two weeks of taking a break certainly had made his desire to use up all of his power grow. He would definitely continue for a while.

After a few moments, Cedar tried different attacks and moved around a bit while imagining a somewhat realistic fight. It suddenly felt much more satisfying to hit his nonexistent enemy, and Cedar got lost in his training.

He only snapped out of it when a loud noise echoed through the building. He immediately reacted on impulse and jumped to the side to face the source of the noise while preparing to defend himself. But then he saw who the other person was.

Lucille looked as pale as a ghost as she rushed into the room and stared at him. “What are you doing? You...you...”

Cedar scolded himself for forgetting the time. He slowly lowered his right arm and put the sword back into the sheath. “I was training. I apologize for surprising you.” He held his breath when the pain at his side came back with full force. It was definitely worse than before, but this had been worth it. He took a small moment to choke down the pain and just smiled at the woman in front of him. “I made sure that no one saw me. I will wash the clothes and the towel, so there is no need for you to worry.”

Lucille vigorously shook her head as she spoke up in an almost accusatory tone. “That's not what I meant! You're hurt! You can't just run around and do stuff like that. You will make it worse and injure yourself. What if your wounds open up? For how long have you been doing that?”

Cedar had just planned on beginning with two hours, but he hadn't actually looked at a clock. Since Lucille was back by now, he had at least spent four hours, if not more, with training. But judging by her expression, she wouldn't like to hear that. “Half an hour at most. I just wanted to begin with some light training. That should actually help me regain my strength.” Apparently, his lie had been a bit too obvious this time.

Lucille rushed over to him and helplessly pointed at his chest. “You are good at fighting, aren't you? You train often. And now you're all red and exhausted. You did this for much longer than half an hour, didn't you? Why aren't you paying attention to your health? What would getting worse again gain you? You should wait until you recovered fully, and then you can train again!”

Cedar had to admit that it was interesting to see that the shy woman who normally barely dared to talk back suddenly ordered him around. Of course, even that wouldn't get him to listen to her. “I see. It seems like I must have forgotten the time.” He turned to the crates and picked up the towel. He wiped over his face and only noticed that he was full of sweat now. Apparently, he had used more energy than he had planned on putting into this.

That might be why his side hurt as if the wound was fresh. Hopefully, it wouldn't bleed again.

Cedar gave Lucille a bright smile as he faced her anyway. “I am touched by your concern, but I am really doing well. I would not have trained otherwise, would I? Believe it or not, I know what my body can handle.” At least he had been rather sure that he knew. Right now, it seemed like his plan had backfired though. He had motivated himself too much, and now he would regret it. Still, it wasn't as bad as Lucille made it out to be. He wouldn't die because of this. He looked at her concerned expression for a moment before adding something else to calm her. “I'm still alive. There is no need to worry about me. I definitely won't cause you problems by dying here.”

Lucille balled her hands into fists and met his gaze while acting like this was the most serious topic in the whole world. “That had nothing to do with you over-exhausting yourself when you are clearly not in the state to move around at all. Do you value your own health this little? You need to stop hurting yourself, or you won't ever get better. Of course, I don't want you to die, but there is no reason for you to torture yourself either.” The look in her eyes was so earnest that it was almost concerning.

The prince stared at her for a few seconds before sighing. “I see. You are correct. Then I should probably listen to you. I won't train anymore.” Not as long as she was here, at least. He didn't need her to complain each time. He wasn't sure why she even cared, but he wouldn't waste time discussing with her. If she didn't see him train, all of their problems were solved.

Lucille narrowed her eyes at him. “I don't believe you. You don't seem to understand why this is bad for you at all. You-” She cut herself off and gritted her teeth for a moment. Then she continued in a calmer tone. “I know that I can't order you around. But please be careful. It would be bad if you got hurt. I'm not saying that you can't move around at all. You can take walks and such. But you can't do anything that makes your wound ache even a little. I know that this isn't my place to interfere, but this is too serious for me to ignore it. What if you get an infection?” At least she seemed to be self-conscious about this not being her business.

Cedar still found it odd that she even took it upon herself to discuss with him. He could easily stop her with just a few words, but like before, he didn't see the need to do so. What he found much more interesting right now was how differently she was acting. He grinned at her and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “This is the first time that you didn't avert your eyes during the whole conversation. And you didn't hesitate while speaking once. You even scolded me without worrying about me getting. That's a first too. Am I that important to you?”

It had clearly been supposed to be a joke, but apparently, Lucille hadn't heard his sarcastic tone. She got extremely embarrassed in an instant. “We're...not... I haven't known you for long. But I don't want you to get hurt. That much should be obvious. That's why it would be better for you to return to your room now. You need to rest... If you want to.” Her shock upon seeing him here slowly ebbed away, and she was getting more and more uncertain again.

Cedar almost found that a bit dejecting, but right now, his aching side was worse than anything else. He would love to lie down and let himself recover, but then he would admit that he had actually overdone it. So, he would rather propose something else. Something that wasn't too exhausting but gave him an excuse to look around the building more. “I will go rest in a few minutes. But first, I would like to take a walk. I haven't seen all the rooms in the annex, and if someone does end up coming here, I need to know where to hide. Would it be fine for you to give me a short tour?”

Lucille played with her hands again and looked quite uncomfortable. She looked to the side and scanned the room before speaking up in a soft voice. “No one is here, so...it should be fine. But are you really alright with that? Your wound-”

“Is completely fine.” The prince beamed at her and moved around his arm to prove it. He didn't say that it hurt much more than before though. “Besides, I'm using my legs to walk around and not my arm. I will be fine if I don't run anywhere.” He definitely wouldn't be able to sprint now. But since he was accompanied by a young lady with shoes with high heels, which weren't really made to run, he should be able to keep up with her.

Still, Lucille seemed extremely doubtful. “Then...alright. But you need to tell me when it hurts. Then we will bring you back to your room immediately. You can also have some more medicine later.” That sounded good, but it seemed like that would have to be delayed for a while since the prince would never take medicine in front of her.

Cedar just smiled at her while doing his best to keep his arm from pressing against his wound. “That is fine. Shall we leave then? I'm curious about the annex. I haven't seen many different buildings in the past few months.” He waited for Lucille to nod before he let her lead the way.

Apparently, there had never been many people in this building. There were two floors, and most of the rooms were guest bedrooms. There was a small kitchen, a living room and a storage area too, but the room Cedar slept in was definitely the most luxurious one, if one could even call that simple design luxurious. He had to admit that the building had some charm, but since no one took care of it, it was slowly falling apart. It wasn't surprising that an empty building decayed, but it was still a shame. At the same time, it was also strange.

The prince only lasted a few minutes before he asked the question that had bothered him the whole time. “Say, Lucille. This annex belongs to your father too, doesn't it? Why isn't it being taken care of? Normally, all buildings are cleaned, even if they aren't being used.”

The young woman kept her gaze on the hallway in front of them as she replied. “I guess so. We just don't need it, and...my father connects bad memories with it. So, he never enters. The servants are probably supposed to clean it, but no one instructs them. And my father doesn't care enough to control them. Do you have any unused buildings within the royal property?” So, her father hated this place while she loved it? It was truly connected to her mother then, wasn't it?

Cedar was a bit curious, but he wouldn't ask something so personal yet. Instead, he just answered the question to allow her to change the topic. “The royal palace has at least five dozen guest rooms, of which most are empty the whole time. We also have three mansions that are within the royal estate, and they are empty too. Everything is being taken care of though. I think I've never even seen a speck of dust anywhere close to the palace. But that might be because we have so many servants that they are getting bored enough to start cleaning in their free time.” He gave Lucille a smile before focusing on looking around again.

There was nothing special here, but at least he had found a few spots at which he could hide in case some stupid royal guard showed up here.

Lucille seemed relieved upon not needing to talk about the history of the building and focused on guiding him again. “As expected of the royal palace. It is a little unfair to compare that to any other house though. Of course, the palace would be taken care of.” She stopped at a small window and glanced out before gesturing to the prince. “If you look out here, you can see the biggest part of the estate. If you want to, you can get a quick overview. But...it's not that impressive. Especially not in comparison to your home.”

Cedar smiled at her as he stepped closer to the window. “I am pretty sure that your estate is gorgeous. Everything I've seen until now was very pleasant, so there is no need to be shy.” He pretended to take in the environment outside and did his best to seem like he didn't know all of this. He actually didn't need to look around again since he had seen numerous maps and had already walked around to orient himself a bit, but he couldn't admit that now. So, he would just compliment Lucille and tell her how wonderful her home was.

But he froze as soon as his eyes fell onto the two figures that walked toward the annex.

The prince leaned forward and let out a quiet huff when he recognized one of the men. “You said that your father never comes here, right? Apparently, we really aren't being favored by the gods. If I didn't mistake him for someone else, he is entering the building right now.”

Lucille's eyes widened at that. “What?” She jumped forward and pressed her hands against the window while looking down. “Where is he? I can't-” Before she could finish, the loud noise from the entrance hall proved that someone had entered the house. Lucille began to pale immediately and took a step back. “Are you sure that this was him?”

Cedar nodded. “I saw Lord Valerian at events a few times, so I will naturally recognize him. I'm very sure.” He scanned the panicking Lucille for a moment while leaning his back against the window sill. Why was she so nervous? Her father was on the first floor, and they were on the second. It would be no issue to avoid that man. But apparently, she didn't even think about that and just feared being caught. “Lucille?” He didn't receive a response, so he spoke up again after a few seconds. “Lucille. I can just hide in one of the rooms. Then you can greet him and act like you came back to take your plate to the kitchen. There is absolutely no need to worry about this.”

Lucille vigorously shook her head. “No, this is a huge problem. I'm not allowed to enter any rooms here except for the one you live in. I'm not even supposed to be there, but he... If he finds me next to the library, he might...” She didn't finish that sentence either and grabbed a strand of her hair while hectically looking around. “If he's coming here, he probably wants to scold me. I really don't-”

Cedar watched that for a moment before he had enough. “Lucille. It's fine. If you don't want him to find you, the both of us will hide. Come.” He took a step forward to stand behind her and gently pushed her shoulders. He ushered her toward the small door that led to a tiny storage room and opened it for her. “If we just go inside there, everything will be fine. They will pass by and go back when they don't find you.”

He gestured toward the room, but Lucille still seemed reluctant. “What if he finds your things? Your clothes or...or what if he sees the candles and...”

Cedar just beamed at her and carefully grabbed her shoulders to guide her inside. He would like to take his time to tell her that he had hidden everything before going to train, but he already heard people by the staircase. If they didn't hide now, they could forget staying here in secret. He wasn't sure why Lucille needed to prevent others from knowing that she was here, but he definitely couldn't let anyone find him. So, he pushed her into the storage room before closing the door behind them.

Now it was almost completely dark inside, and only a small ray of light came in from the doorway, which allowed them to see each other's silhouette. It was a little tighter than he had anticipated, but they would have to deal with it for now. The prince leaned against the wall at the side while making sure that he didn't hurt his stomach. The wound still felt like it would tear open, but it was already a bit better again.

So, he tried to make as much space for Lucille as possible, but it still didn't help much. Judging by how stiff she was, this didn't make her too happy, but now it was already too late to change their decision.

Cedar leaned down to her and whispered a small apology. “I fear that this is a bit uncomfortable, but we will have to ignore that. Please hold on for a while. We only need to wait until your father is gone.”

Lucille slowly nodded while still refusing to move even a single bit. Apparently, she really didn't like being inside such a tight space with a stranger, which was understandable.

The prince considered trying to cheer her up again, but the approaching footsteps made him stay quiet.

Two men discussed something as they walked through the hallway next to the storage room. Lucille only got even tenser and almost held her breath as if she was terrified of being found.

Cedar swallowed a sigh at that. If she continued like this, she might accidentally end up being too loud as soon as she noticed that she had to breathe properly. He gently put his hand on her shoulder. He hoped that this would remind her that she only needed to stay calm so that they could leave this room without being found. But seemingly, his touch had the opposite effect.