The Broken Prince's Love

Lucille kept quiet for a bit before she finally responded. “I'm still unsure, Fiona. I'll think about it. Moving in with you sounds nice, but...” Her voice trailed off before she forced herself to resume. “I have some months left to make my decision regarding this issue, I think. I will tell you when I know. Right now, I have a different problem that is much bigger though.”

Fiona stiffened at that. She set her cup down with a clink and met the other's gaze with a serious expression. “Even bigger? What happened?” As always, she immediately jumped to the rescue and wanted to offer as many solutions as possible. She was truly a god-sent. But even she wouldn't be able to solve this on her own.

Lucille looked down at her lap as she tried to find a way to explain this without revealing the worst first. Maybe she should start with the main part. “Two weeks ago, I went out into the garden after the discussion with my father. I...found a pool of blood and then an injured man.” She carefully glanced up at the other's expression before resuming. “I took him in and got a doctor for him too. That man is now hiding in the annex. I'm...scared of Father finding him. But I can't throw him out either.”

Fiona blinked a few times. She leaned back and twisted the ends of her lilac hair around her finger, which she always did when she got lost in thoughts. A moment later, she was frowning again and made eye contact with the other woman. “Luci, who is that man? You're not the type to go ahead and pick up strangers. Was he in danger? And are you in danger now because of that person?”

Lucille had hoped that her friend would be cheerful and joke about whether the man had been handsome. But unfortunately, Fiona was well aware that Lucille was way too cowardly to go against her father for naught. Lucille would only do it if the matter was truly important to her. So, she would have to talk about this now. The young woman chewed on the inside of her cheek before speaking up. “You have to swear that you won't tell anyone about this. If you talk to someone, I will be in big trouble.”

Fiona only became even more tense at that. “Luci. What happened? Is that person threatening you?”

Lucille quickly shook her head and lifted her hands. “No, no. He isn't...trying to harm me. I'm protecting him, and others are searching for him. The issue is that...they might harm my family if they...” She stopped herself and decided to just be direct. She let her head hang forward and glanced at the other woman from behind her hair. “It's His Royal Highness.”

It took a moment for Fiona to process this. But as soon as she did, she jumped to her feet with wide eyes. “His Royal Highness? The second prince? As in Cedar Estien, the wanted criminal that flew from confinement? The one that tried to kill His Majesty?” Her shock was clearly written on her features. She was definitely upset and not just a little bit. She was panicking and probably already went through all the things that could go wrong in her head.

Lucille hurried to put down her cup and wrung her hands while trying to explain. “It's not like you think. I don't want to go against His Majesty, and I don't want to protect the prince for long either. It's just... He was hurt, and he could have died, and if he went out now...” She knew that her excuses didn't do much. This had been a horrible idea, and she was aware of it.

Who took in a wanted criminal and then acted like it was completely normal to do so? It wasn't good of her to protect Cedar. This didn't just risk her own well-being but also her family's. She might really end up being branded a traitor if this was revealed.

Fiona took a few steps to the side before pacing from one end of the room to the other. She massaged her temples and looked tenser than Lucille had ever seen her. She did that a few times before stopping and turning to the other woman. “Why did you do that? ”

Lucille fiddled with her fingers and avoided the other woman's gaze. “I...wanted to save his life. You didn't see how much blood he lost. He might have died. So...”

“I get that! But you should have informed His Majesty immediately after. That would not only have put a wanted criminal back in confinement so that he can't commit treason again. It would also have prevented you from being dragged to court because of a misunderstanding.” Fiona was rarely as agitated as now. She gestured around wildly. “You might even get convicted for treason because of this! And what will you do now? Are you going to keep him hidden inside your home, or are you going to send him away soon? Please tell me that you will throw him out. Two weeks are enough for him to recover!”

Lucille averted her eyes. “I don't know. Fiona, his whole stomach was slit open. He will take a while. And...I don't think that he even wants to return home. You can imagine that living in confinement...purely because of his circumstances is painful for him.” She was aware that this stance was way too naive, but she couldn't change it all of a sudden.

As expected, Fiona opened her mouth to object before she froze. “It's because of his mother, isn't it? Because you think that...” She walked over to the sofa and plopped down on it. She ignored the creaking of the poor piece of furniture and made eye contact with her friend. “Is that your reason? I am right, aren't I?”

Lucille would have liked to deny it, but she couldn't. To her, Cedar almost was like a mirror. Surely, their situations were very different, but there was a common similarity. Both had been raised as a pawn for their parents and were only supposed to fulfill their family's wishes. The both of them knew well what it felt like to be unhappy while everyone around them barely understood what kind of troubles they were experiencing. Maybe she had also taken Cedar in because this was the first time that she knowingly did something her father would be angry about. This was her choice, and she had decided to go through with it on her own. But she understood that either reasoning didn't make this situation much better.

Fiona saw the other's silence as a response and lowered her head for a moment. Her voice was strained when she spoke. “Lucille, I won't judge you. But this is dangerous. In more than one way. His Royal Highness isn't a good person. You know that. He was involved in multiple crimes and even committed treason. He is only alive thanks to His Majesty's generosity. Surely, the people who search for him could cause problems, but what if he hurts you?”

Lucille interlocked her fingers and played around with her hands to keep herself from getting too emotional. She held back from raising her voice and tried to explain it calmly. “That's not a risk at all. He isn't a bad person. I ate with him every day for two weeks. You know that I'm in the annex for hours at a time, so we talk a lot. And Cedar was always polite and-”

Fiona's face fell at that. “You call him by name?”

Only now, Lucille realized her mistake, but she had no chance to correct herself.

Fiona already spoke up. “Lucille, what are you doing? You can't get so close to that person!” She actually looked scared while she said that.

Lucille hurried to raise her hands in a rejecting gesture as slight panic rose in her too. “I'm not! I'm not close to him. We only talked a bit about some useless things. It was nothing important. I just thought that he was lonely and that he needed some company. So, I sat down with him and talked to him as much as I could. You don't have to read anything into that.”

Fiona narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms. “You plan on hiding him for longer, don't you? And you also call him by his first name and eat with him. Of course, I will read something into that. I worry, Lucille. He isn't like you. That man isn't just a victim of his past. He is a murderer, and his mind is completely twisted. Human lives don't matter to him. He would kill dozens if it got him the throne. It's a miracle that only two guards were hurt while he escaped. He evaluates people by how well he can mobilize them to aid him in reaching his goals. If they are useless, he kills them without hesitation.” She wanted to say more, but she didn't get the chance.

Lucille felt a pang in her heart when she heard all of that and quickly spoke up to defend Cedar. “You don't know that. Rumors aren't the best source of information. And even if he had...psychological problems...” Which he certainly had. “Can you really blame him? His childhood was probably worse than mine. You saw what his mother did at balls. At least my father has some self-restraint, but the dowager empress raised him to harm his older brother. I think Cedar...is doing rather well for that.”

Even though she said all of that, she knew that she had an ulterior motive here. If she blamed Cedar for doing what his mother had raised him to do, she would admit that both his and her actions were based on their own choice. Then she would also have to blame herself for following her father's every demand. She would admit that she had had a choice. But she remembered well that this ‘choice’ only allowed one valid response while the other was connected to much more trouble than it was worth resisting for. For Cedar, it had to have been the same. So, she could never dare to say that he should have acted differently.

But Fiona wasn't convinced. She gazed at her friend with a sad look in her eyes before she spoke up. “Luci, you can't save everyone. Even if you give your best and believe in them, there are some individuals that won't ever move on. It's too late for some people. Cedar Estien is one of them. He has issues, and while I understand why you would compare yourself to him, you shouldn't. His past explains his behavior, but it doesn't justify it. That's why I need you to be careful. Remember that you aren't indebted to him in any way. He might have told you that, and he may talk about his past to gain sympathy-”

Lucille shook her head with vigor. “Cedar never did that. He doesn't talk about himself at all. He also never made me take him in. I offered it, and he wanted to refuse, but then he noticed how bad his wound was. He never tried to manipulate me at all, and he also didn't ask much about my family. I only told him that I didn't eat with my father, and he didn't question it.” That wasn't true. She had actually admitted to their parents being similar directly after he had woken up. But Cedar had truly never tried to get her to do anything else for him.

Fiona refused to believe that though. “Luci, trust me. I already disliked the prince when His Majesty was crowned. His Royal Highness was fourteen then and already an obvious psychopath. You may not have paid attention to that, but he always smiles. And while he grins at you, he plots about how he can use you. Right now, you are his best bet to stay hidden. Of course, he will be nice to you. Don't misunderstand that. You need to think realistically. How long is he supposed to stay with you?”

Lucille didn't know that. She could only say that she wouldn't force Cedar to return to his horrible mother. She averted her eyes for a moment before speaking up. “Fiona, I know that it sounds...bad. But I can imagine how I would feel if I was able to hide somewhere far away. And to be thrown out from that secret hiding space would be a nightmare. I don't plan on doing that to him. He will leave when he is ready to.” After saying it out loud, she felt like this might be ridiculous. So, she hurried to add something. “The annex is empty anyway, so it's fine for him to live there for a while. He doesn't inconvenience anyone.”

Fiona almost seemed to sink into her sofa at that. She buried her face in her hands for a while before slowly lifting her head again. “I won't convince you like this, will I?” She took a deep breath before resuming with a serious expression. “Then let me tell you a story. One of the maids who work here used to be employed in the palace. She happened to witness a few interesting scenes there. She thought that the whole royal family was a bit odd, but especially the younger son worried her. He was always smiling no matter what happened. Even when his father would obviously ignore him, he continued to act as if he was happy. Even when his mother had another hysteric fit, he was there to calm her. Keep in mind that he was maybe eleven at most at that time. Still, he was only focused on learning about politics and economy or training his abilities with a sword.”

Lucille didn't really want to rely on stories of the past and baseless rumors, but this was important to her friend. She kept her mouth shut and listened.

Fiona paused, and her expression became grimmer as she continued. “He wanted to be better than the perfect first son, but he never managed to beat him except for when they were sparring. So, he trained from dusk to dawn whenever his mother didn't ask for his presence. And yet, he would ask for his brother's belongings whenever he saw something. When he received it, he never gave it another glance and just put it in his room. He only took it because he wanted what his brother had after all. But when he didn't get permission to take it, the result wasn't fun.” Fiona narrowed her eyes slightly and gave Lucille a look that underlined that this wasn't just a joke. “I'm sure that this maid didn't lie when she told me about it. There was only one time that she witnessed the prince after he was losing his temper. He was eight then. I'm not sure what it was about, but he had a fight with his older brother in his father's office. The maid walked by the opened door and just saw how the crown prince touched his shoulder from behind very slightly. But all of a sudden, the second prince turned to the wall and pulled off a decorative sword before holding it to his brother's throat. The maid ran away to get help, but when she came back, everything was like it never had happened. The prince smiled as brightly as always, and the sword was on the wall again. His brother looked terrified but wouldn't say what had happened. But the prince knew that the maid had seen him. He ignored her even though she attended him back then, so she thought that it was fine. However, a week later, she was dismissed, allegedly because she made a grave mistake. But in reality, it had to have been because he wouldn't let anyone reveal the truth.”

Lucille listened to all of that and folded her hands. Was she supposed to be angry about that? If an eight-year-old was raised by a mother with hysteric fits, how could one expect him to control himself? Most likely, Cedar had been way too mature for his age, and he may even have more self-control than the dowager empress. After all, he hadn't actually hurt his brother despite having the chance. He probably had known that attacking at that moment would only have caused problems for him, which proved that he had been thinking logically to some extent. And this maid, who had seen him, had apparently been dismissed with a recommendation letter so that she could work in another influential house. Cedar could have done much worse if he had wanted to. There was nothing too bad about this story, and it only made Lucille want to help even more.

But Fiona acted as if she had told the most terrifying thing imaginable. “Do you understand now? He was violent even as a child. If he trained sword-fighting back then, he will probably still be training now. He is way stronger than all the people at your mansion. He could overpower you in an instant.”

Lucille almost felt a bit offended, even though she wasn't the one being insulted. “Why would he do that? I'm helping him. And right now, he is still hurt. A small touch to his side would be very painful, so I doubt that he could fight seriously. Besides, I'm not his brother, who seems to be the person he hates most. If he didn't kill His Majesty, he wouldn't hurt me either. You don't have to worry.” She was aware that she put a ridiculous amount of energy into defending Cedar, but she couldn't help it.

Cedar seemed so pitiful to her, and yet, everyone seemed to ignore him. They merely accepted stories they had heard and never stopped to question his motives. Wasn't that unfair to him? He should at least be able to say something about the incident before being judged.

Maybe Lucille was thinking like this because she had been through similar problematic situations too. She had been forced to act to her father's whims often enough, and no one had ever asked why she had done that. Thanks to her father, she had been forced to cause trouble at multiple events in the past already. There had only been smaller incidents of her needing to act like an arrogant brat, but still, she had been blamed in the end. She was called a vile and stupid witch without being at fault too. So, she would defend Cedar until he was proven guilty.

Maybe that didn't fit together with her goal of not trusting him and not getting too close to him, but she had already made up her mind. She wouldn't let down her guard completely, but she wouldn't act like he could kill her any second either.

Fiona pressed her lips into a thin line and met the other's gaze. A few seconds of silence followed before she sighed. “I should have expected this. You always say that you are weak, but you are actually pretty stubborn. I don't think that anything can change your mind when you decided on how to act.” She lowered her gaze and closed her eyes for a moment. “Then I will have to keep quiet about a wanted criminal hiding at my best friend's house now, huh? You better invite me out for that as a reward at some point.”

Lucille breathed out in relief and showed her friend a small smile. “I will. When you finished your work and proved that you will become the duchess, we can go out more often. I believe that there is a new café close to our favorite one. We can try it out then.”

Fiona returned a sad smile. “Of course. But I can't help but worry, you know? I'm just asking you to keep my words in mind. Be careful. Prevent other people from finding him, and keep your guard up around him.”

“I planned on doing that. Yes, I want to help him, but I know that he did some bad things. I won't trust him just like that. Thank you for staying quiet. I really needed to get this off my chest.”

Fiona still didn't look too happy, but she did her best to cheer up. “I see. Then it's good that I am here to listen to you. I won't tell a single soul. But you need to tell me what's going on at your place. From now, on you should write me a letter every few days. And don't feel bad about asking me for help. I don't want you to get hurt, so I will do my best to assist you. You can ask for anything, and I will gladly take care of any matter. I can even rent a small apartment somewhere outside the capital so that you could send him away, just in case something happens.”

“Thank you. That won't be necessary, but I will approach you if I need some advice.” Lucille probably wouldn't ask for anything more than that. She didn't want her friend to get in trouble because of her reckless decision, so she wouldn't force Fiona to get involved. This was her own responsibility, and she would deal with the consequences.

For the rest of their conversation, both women refrained from talking about complicated topics. They just focused on lighthearted subjects while avoiding mentioning anything that was related to Lucille's big secret.

When the guest prepared to leave in the late afternoon, Fiona hugged her for a long time and reminded her once more. “Be careful around him. You don't know what he is capable of.”

Lucille just nodded at that and then hid her uncertainty behind a smile. She had no idea how she would deal with this. She didn't want to distrust Cedar nor did she want to trust him. This would end up being a dilemma if she ever needed to make a choice. She just hoped that it would never get that far.

That was all she could think about while sitting in the carriage and driving home.