The Broken Prince's Love

In all honesty, Cedar should have expected it. He knew his mother better than anyone else, so he should have known that something would happen during the next few days. Unfortunately, he had felt too safe in the palace to think about that.

At first, the whole day had been calm. Cedar had woken up normally and trained for a few hours. Then he had been called to his brother to have tea, which had annoyed him. This annoyance had quickly died down when he had noticed Lucille there. So, the meeting had merely been a bit uncomfortable in the beginning, but it got better quickly.

Blanche happily chatted about random topics, including that her baby would probably be born in two weeks. She seemed to love talking about her preparations and what she planned on doing as soon as her little angel was there.

Lucille listened to that in awe and was intrigued by that topic.

Normally, Cedar would have loved watching her face and seeing her little reactions, but he was focused on the chess board. Theodore and Cedar had been in the middle of a game for the past two hours, and it quickly became clear that both had studied strategic battles for years. Nothing seemed to move forward, even though they both did their best.

Theodore stared at the game and seemed to note that almost all options for him to attack would hurt him more. He slowly shook his head and then looked up to Cedar. “You know, maybe this was really a bad idea. I should have known that playing a board game with you wouldn't end with a quick round.”

Cedar shrugged. “Well, it's chess. That was to be expected. I just didn't think that we would begin to shuffle around all the figurines and still not move forward. We've played a while now, and neither of us runs out of moves. This will take a bit if you insist on finishing.”

Blanche chimed in at that. “I'm not going to let you discuss that. It's boring if you keep focusing on that game as if your life depended on it. We're trying to drink tea here. I'm saying that you should end it now and say that you both won. That's a fair result, isn't it?”

As expected, Theodore immediately listened to his wife. “Definitely. I don't want to spend the next weeks continuing this same game. That would drive me mad. No matter what I try, Cedar always seems to have three different ways to avoid me.”

The prince showed his brother the arrogant smile that Theodore hated so much. “Three? I would say I prepared even more than that. But, yes, we can call it a tie here.” After all, it was obvious that Theodore was just as good at saving his troupes as his brother. That was a bit frustrating since the perfect emperor was skilled at yet another thing, but that should have been expected.

At least Cedar hadn't been crushed and lost miserably, but he was too cautious to be happy about that. He was a bit worried about his brother holding back on purpose. Even though it looked like Theodore had given his best, the little voice in Cedar's head asked him whether he could really compare to what his brother was doing, which was rather frustrating.

Blanche seemed relieved upon hearing that they agreed and hurried to pull the board away, most likely to keep them from continuing in secret. Then she leaned against the backrest again and continued from where she had left off. “In any case, I would like to make sure that no one aside from our closest acquaintances interacts with our baby unless one of us is there. No maids except for mine will be allowed to touch our angel, and I won't hire any nursemaid, especially not that woman.” For a moment, her expression darkened before her bright smile returned.

Theodore nodded. “Definitely. I will make sure that the most promising guards stand by the door at all times. And no one without our trust will get anywhere close to our child. Naturally, no nursemaid is needed.”

Lucille seemed a bit relieved at that. She continued to sip her tea and stayed as quiet as always. She just scanned the conversation in front of her without adding her own comments.

Cedar glanced at her, which he seemed to be doing much too often at the current time, while grabbing his own cup as well. His head was still full of chess strategies, and he would need a moment to get them out again. So, listening to this calm conversation was the best thing imaginable thing. Even if he had to admit that the royal couple acted so novelettish that one could choke on it. It was no wonder that Leon kept joking about them being sickeningly sweet.

Cedar had only looked away for one second, and when he turned back, he already saw how Theodore pressed kisses all over his wife's face. He averted his eyes again and glanced to the side to find Lucille lowering her gaze with slight embarrassment. If that much was enough to make her feel like she was disturbing them, then she probably hadn't been there while the royal couple started eating each other's faces. Cedar had made the mistake of entering Theodore's office while Blanche had been there once and had immediately excused himself again, which had caused Leonard to follow him out a second later.

The prince drank his tea and was silent for a moment longer until he decided that it was enough. He put his cup away and turned to Lucille to give her a bright smile. “How about we talk about something while those two are...busy. How do you feel about being Her Majesty's lady-in-waiting? You officially have the title now, right?”

Lucille lowered her cup and looked to the side. “Well... To be honest I didn't do much. I just sit here and drink tea. I haven't done even one thing that would help Her Majesty with anything. I only made her maids carry more dishware.” She seemed a bit dejected at that.

Blanche actually stopped kissing her husband and hurried to correct the other woman. “No, no. It's perfectly fine. You are a guest of the palace, so it's only natural for them to bring food for you. And it's quite obvious that you will stay here for a while, so they can get used to that already. After all, even a blind person can see that-”

Theodore cut her off. “Don't be like that. Not everyone is as fast as we were. You will make them feel uncomfortable.” He said that, but his comment in itself made the intention even more obvious.

Cedar just hoped that he wouldn't get any tips about how to use contraceptives again. He smiled back at the other man. “I am a bit uncertain as to why you are voicing such ominous comments. After all, there is absolutely no need for you to think about whether Lucille will stay here at the moment. The situation won't be resolved within the next weeks anyway. That means that she has to stay until you finally get it over with.”

The emperor shrugged this time. “I told you. It will take a year at most. But until then, this will have developed much further, so I doubt that we need to prepare for Lady Valerian to move out at all.”

Lucille's mouth fell open, but she didn't get to speak.

Blanche chimed in before anyone could say anything. “I agree. Taking her in as my lady-in-waiting already made it rather obvious, and by now, all of noble society should understand. In any case, that makes it clearer that we need to change one crucial thing.” She resumed before Cedar could address what she had said. “I don't want us to sit here in a year with two people calling me by my title. It's bad enough that my maids do it, and I can assure you that I'm in the middle of convincing them to drop it. So, I will have to ask the same of you once more.” She glanced at Lucille, who seemed worried, and at Cedar while narrowing her eyes. She scanned the prince's smile and added something. “I feel like you are using my title on purpose just to upset me. When I want you to use it, you ignore that, and when I tell you to refrain from using it, you say it as often as possible.”

Cedar continued to beam. “I have no idea what you could be referring to, Your Majesty.” Maybe she hadn't noticed, but he had only ever called her by her first name because it had upset her and provoking her had been his goal back then. Now he didn't need to simulate closeness when there wasn't anything there. Both Theodore and Blanche should hate him, so it would be strange to suddenly assume the opposite. But he quickly changed the subject before complaints came. “I would like to return to the original topic though. Why exactly is it special if Lucille is a lady-in-waiting for the empress? That is a normal position, and it's mostly temporary, is it not? Usually, young ladies take that spot before they marry, and then they leave. There shouldn't be an issue with Lucille becoming one.”

But maybe there was an issue. After all, Camille had reacted rather sensitively when Cedar had told her that Lucille was the empress lady-in-waiting for the first time. Surely, there was something more to this.

Cedar pondered this for another moment while trying to remember the history of that position. He was rather certain that there hadn't been anything special during the past century at least. Unless someone would seriously focus on that little custom from multiple generations ago, which unfortunately just came to his mind now. “Please don't tell me it's because of what used to be done two hundred years ago.”

Lucille clearly wouldn't know about such old customs of the royal family, but she heard Cedar's tone and assumed the worst. “What used to be done then? Did we do something wrong?”

Theodore and Blanche exchanged a short look, which only proved Cedar's assumption to be true. The emperor began in a voice that already betrayed that he was slowly approaching the topic with care. “We didn't. You don't need to worry about anything. But Cedar is right about the indication. Currently, that position holds no special meaning since few ladies-in-waiting have been appointed for a while now. But in the past, I mean about four or five generations ago, that position was often...held by people who would stay in the palace anyway. People who wouldn't leave since they had another reason to be here and could quickly become friends with the empress that way. They were usually the partners of members of royalty. For example, the wives...or fiancées. And sometimes, that position might have been used to carefully introduce someone's-” Theodore was cut off in the middle of his sentence.

The sound of glass shattering sounded through the air. It sounded like a vase or something similar had been broken.

Cedar immediately tensed. He was already in the middle of jumping up and wanted to search for what had caused this noise but was stopped.

Theodore lifted his hand and showed his brother his palm. “There they are. We already expected them, so it's fine. Those were our men, and they probably just arrested whoever was sent here.”

Cedar relaxed a bit, but annoyance grew inside him at the same time. “You should have told me so that I could prepare. I was already worried.” He plopped down on his armchair again. “What happened?”

Theodore was completely calm as he responded. “Your mother planned something for Lady Valerian and you. We caught the men while they were preparing their attack. The dowager empress, unfortunately, must have used some people to convey the message, so she didn't voice it directly. In fact, it seems like she never met with anyone to discuss what she planned.”

That was to be expected. After all, Camille had known that she would be under observation within the palace. It was just questionable how she had managed to send this message then. It was annoying that no one had a clue.

But Cedar was much more annoyed with himself for not expecting anything. He had thought that his mother would wait a month before acting, like she always did to avoid raising suspicion. But it seemed like her patience was running thin when her personal pacifier wasn't there to calm her. Cedar should have known that. Damn it. He wanted to ask about the specifics, but he was already stopped.

Theodore addressed Lucille first. “To be honest, she has to have been pretty upset to move so quickly. Since your conversation happened just four days ago, I would assume that this was the reason. It seems like you made the dowager empress rather angry. What did you say?”

Lucille shrank in herself. She averted her eyes while she stammered her response. “She...she repeatedly told me that Cedar was a bad person and that I was just using him. I then told her that-”

Cedar interrupted her in a calm voice. “You don't need to answer that. Theodore already heard the whole conversation from the present guards. He knows every word you said. There is no need for you to repeat it.” He glanced at his brother, who just gave him a little smile.

Lucille seemed less comfortable with that thought though. She lowered her gaze and barely dared to lift it again when she voiced something in a barely audible volume. “I'm sorry.”

Cedar replied before anyone else could. “What for? She bothered you, and you were forced to talk to her. If someone has to apologize, it's me for not stepping in first.”

Lucille shook her head. She fiddled with her hands and then made eye contact with him. “I insulted her. I said that she was insane.” She sounded so meek while saying that, as if she truly felt bad.

Cedar was immediately relieved and also a bit uncertain as to why she thought that this was a problem. “That wasn't an insult though. That was the truth. She said much worse things to you, so she can't complain. And I doubt that the emperor will put you on trial for slandering royalty. You can get away with everything when it comes to Mother.”

Lucille seemed to be a bit less tense after hearing that. But before she could speak up, a knock sounded from the door.

Theodore immediately turned to the entrance. “You may enter and bring them in.”

The door opened, and a group of royal guards came in. They dragged three men with tied-up hands behind them and let them fall to the floor in front of the fireplace.

Leonard seemed to lead this group and immediately began his report after Theodore nodded. “They were found near the expected spot. They assumed that the hole in the wall was still present and were shocked to find it closed. They climbed up a tree, and we quickly arrested them. I already interrogated them. Their goal was harming or possibly abducting Lady Valerian, depending on whoever you ask. So, we can assume that the dowager empress wasn't really explicit in her instructions. She did, however, ask them to put this box in His Royal Highness' room. It doesn't seem to be dangerous, and we cannot determine whether this item has some sort of special meaning. It might be used as a weapon, but it would be rather impractical for that.” He gestured to the guard next to him who held a small wooden box in his hands and carefully placed it on the table in front of the emperor.

Theodore scanned it for a moment before reaching for it to open the top. He stared at the contents before making eye contact with his brother.

Cedar smiled at him while nausea bubbled in his stomach. He was ready to throw up because he knew that this wouldn't be good. “I can assume that I don't necessarily wish to receive this gift.”

Theodore weakly nodded. “I assume that too. The only problem is that I cannot see any correlation with this item. I have no idea why she would send you this. So...maybe it would be good for you to look at this for a moment. Maybe when everyone is gone.”

Cedar declined that by shaking his head. He stood up. “It can't be that bad.” He said that, but every fiber of his being told him not to look. Still, he walked the few steps over and picked up the box. He scanned it for a while, definitely not to stall for time, and then finally gathered the courage. It couldn't be anything dangerous since Leonard would never have brought that, so it should be fine, right?

He opened the box knowing that he wouldn't be happy about the result. But in the end, he found something that was much worse than he could have imagined. The drops of honey candy inside the box didn't bother him much, but his gaze was drawn to the second item inside.

He was greeted by something that resembled a little skewer with a golden handle, a fireplace poker. The one that had lain in Cedar's room next to the fireplace and was normally used to clean it. At least that had been what it was supposed to be used for. Another purpose had been much more important in this case.

To others, this little piece of metal probably didn't mean much. How could it when it was just a little utensil to them? They hadn't seen it glow in the fireplace while the dowager empress stood there to watch her son with more insanity glittering in her eyes than ever before. They hadn't been the ones to feel how it burned one's skin while being reminded that leaving would only cause pain.

Just a second passed, but the memories of when Cedar had been fourteen flooded his mind. The prince had just been stupid enough to go out once. He immediately remembered how excited he had been to sneak away without being caught. He remembered how that excitement had died down as soon as he had come home to see Camille in his room. Her face had been so full of wrath that it had been easy to see that she had lost her mind. He should have run away at that moment. But of course, he had just stayed and accepted that she wished to punish him for trying to leave.

That had been the worst day of his life.

Cedar hadn't been hit with her hand or a vase, which would have been much more pleasant. Instead, he had lived through the most pain he had ever felt. It had hurt more than when his arm had been broken.

And while it had happened, Cedar had held still despite knowing that he could easily push away his mother, who was much weaker than him. But she had asked him whether he would leave her, and that had made him think that he needed to prove that he wouldn't ever do that. That he wouldn't ever leave her behind and turn away like his brother had.

So, he had done what she had asked. He had fallen to his knees and sworn that he would never leave on his life while telling her that he deserved a punishment. And then, he had endured it all, only to be reminded that his mother would pamper him with affection if she thought that his whole life revolved around her.

The two weeks after that day had been wonderful since Camille had hugged her son so often and had told him that she loved him countless times. But had that made up for the punishment?

No.

Cedar still felt the burning stinging of that metal on his skin. And now, his mother was sending him this? Did she want to promise him affection when he came back? Did she want to threaten him with pain if he didn't come? Did she want to remind him that he would do anything for her? He didn't know what it was. And he didn't care either.

It had been years since he lost his composure completely, but recently, it seemed like he was getting closer to the edge again. It felt like a switch was flipped.

Cedar let the box fall to the floor, where it landed with a loud crash, and turned to one of the men on the ground. He had lost his smile completely in that moment. For just a second, his expression was blank, and then the most terrifying version of his bright grin came back with full force. He probably looked like he was in the middle of snapping right now.

It was no wonder that the assassin cowered and tried to get away despite the prince only taking a few steps toward him.

Oh, how much Cedar would have liked to use that man to vent his frustration now. Training a bit during a more serious fight would be perfect, but he would definitely kill the other man. That wasn't good. Not when everyone here was watching him. It had been a while since he had been this close to hitting someone outside a fight, and he needed to hold back. But that didn't stop him from raising his voice. “And this is supposed to make me come back? I don't think she understands what this means at all. Maybe she will have to try it herself to know how it felt.” He hadn't yelled, but his cold, wrathful tone had been enough to make the people in front of him flinch.

The assassin managed to bring himself backward a bit, probably because the royal guards had loosened their hold on him for a moment upon being surprised by the prince.

Cedar considered stepping forward to interrogate that assassin himself, but he knew that he had no restraint now. So, he turned away and went to the other side of the room before he committed a murder right here.

Theodore scanned the whole scene while instructing the guard who had held the box. “Bring that away immediately, and put those men in a cell.” He waited for the guards, who still seemed a bit shaken, to leave before turning around. “Cedar, are you alright?”

Cedar almost would have laughed and described what he felt before asking whether that sounded like it would be alright. But he didn't do that and just met his brother's gaze while forcing his smile to be a bit less scary. “You sound awfully worried, Theodore. Don't bother. It's...fine. I won't break down. I won't hurt anyone, so you don't have to be on edge.” He might hurt the people who attacked him if he got really angry, but his self-control wasn't so small that he would injure anyone innocent.

Theodore didn't seem calmed by that. “I know. That's not what this is about at all. You should sit down and drink a bit of the water.” Then he turned to Lucille. “Lady Valerian. We will leave you alone now, and it would be good if you can...offer him some company.”

Cedar would have liked to decline. After all, he would admit how much this stupid piece of metal upset him otherwise. But he could only grit his teeth and stare at one of the flower pots with so much hatred that it wouldn't have been surprising if the rose suddenly withered. He only turned around when the people behind him moved.

Theodore led his wife out of the room.

Blanche's expression was horrible. She looked at Cedar with so much pity that it almost looked like she had a general idea of how much pain he was in. She couldn't know that.

There was no way that anyone but his mother, who had stroked over his head while he cried, and maybe a few servants who had heard his yells could know. The prince had never talked about this after all.

Cedar looked away again and heard how the door closed. He didn't know what to do. He wanted to go hug Lucille. And at the same time, he almost wanted her to leave. She shouldn't see him when he was this close to losing his dignity. He didn't want to show her what he looked like when he forgot himself. That part of him was so ugly that she shouldn't ever be forced to meet it. So, he kept his back turned to her and stared at the wall.

Then he heard footsteps.

Lucille was walking slowly and barely dared to move. But she came closer every few seconds and carefully approached him. He expected her to stop with some distance to offer him help so that she could be sure that he wouldn't lash out at her.

But Lucille came closer than that. She only stopped when she was directly behind him. She stopped there, and for a moment, they were just quiet. Then she moved ever so slowly and wrapped her arms around him while leaning her forehand against his back.

It was a meaningless gesture in itself. It was something that everyone could do in an instant, and still, it had more of an effect on Cedar than he wanted to admit. He felt like crying for the first time in a while. Maybe that was because that horrible memory reminded him of the important part.

The only reason his mother hadn't snapped yet was because she was certain that he would return to her. If she became sure that he wouldn't, she would lose the last remaining bit of her sanity. Then she would drag him down to her grave, even if it was the last thing she did.

And he couldn't guarantee that anyone around him would stay safe in the meantime.