The Broken Prince's Love

When none of the guards moved despite her order, Camille narrowed her eyes and spoke in a sharper tone. “You aren't listening to me? I'm the dowager empress. Get out. I understand it when you watch while I'm talking to that wench, but I wouldn't hurt my own son.” That was wrong on so many levels.

Cedar let out a snort and could practically see how some of the guards looked at him in surprise. He ignored them and focused on his mother's aghast expression. Why was she shocked about him assuming that she would definitely hurt her children? “I would argue about that statement. But let's not begin here. I want the guards to stay inside since there is nothing I need to hide. If you make them go out, I will be accused of working together with you tomorrow, and I have no desire to be beheaded. So, I would like to leave all of them inside. If you have something you can't say here, I don't want to hear it.”

The dowager empress pressed her lips together, being much angrier than she cared to admit. She balled her hands into fists before forcing herself to relax. Then she immediately spoke up about what she wanted to get out of the way. “I thought about this. We don't have to get rid of her if you like her that much. You can keep her as a mistress if you really want to. I don't mind.” So, she was talking about Lucille first? Then Lucille's presence had to bother her even more than anyone could have thought. Cedar had been sure that him working with Theodore would have been more frustrating to her, but seemingly, that wasn't it.

He replied without skipping a beat. “Really? Because the last time, it seemed like you did mind a lot. Didn't you send the assassins to kill her because you found out that I talked to her for a few weeks in succession? If that is enough to make you target her, it should be obvious that your goal isn't too kind.”

Camille's indignation quickly returned. “I never sent assassins! Why would I do something that horrible?” She was still in denial.

Cedar hid his growing annoyance under a faint smile and glanced to the side. “Ah. I see. Then the assassins, who happened to look like some of your men, coincidentally let themselves in that evening. That makes sense. Really. It does. Even if they talked about killing Lucille specifically. I mean, there are probably countless other families that would want to target a viscount's daughter for no apparent reason. You couldn't have come up with a more logical solution, Mother.”

The dowager empress' face scrunched up even more. “Cedar.” Her voice had a warning undertone now. “That's not the important part. What is important is that we talk about that girl.”

Some of the guards looked rather concerned. But none of them even stepped aside to stop eavesdropping at one second. Apparently, the prince arguing against his mother was interesting in some way.

Cedar almost sighed at that, but he was glad not to be alone now. “I don't think we need to talk about that. She's Her Majesty's lady-in-waiting, so she will stay at the palace, and I'm here too. I don't understand why I shouldn't be able to spend time with her. If you have a problem with that, I don't really care. I like Lucille, so I won't stop seeing her because of some vague comments by a person who has no logical arguments.” He knew that he was maybe being a bit too direct, but if he didn't do that, his mother would probably discuss with him until he finally got too weak to refute her. It was better if he pushed her away as much as possible from the very beginning.

As expected, the result wasn't too good.

Camille slammed her balled fist onto the armrest and raised her voice. “Don't be ridiculous! What is so special about her? You can't even name a single thing, can you? She isn't even an exceptional beauty! More striking women were interested in you, and you never cared.”

Cedar would have liked to give a snarky response here but held back. “Maybe it's because Lucille is actually a pleasant person while some of the people you named are unbearable. But I would argue that we have different tastes too. After all, I would say that Lucille is very pretty. Did you ever look at her?” Lucille might not seem special to many others because she didn't have a lot of confidence and never put herself in the spotlight, but that didn't mean that she wasn't beautiful.

Camille narrowed her eyes and opened her hand to dig her fingernails into the sofa. “I did look at her. Did you? Seemingly not because then you wouldn't stay with such a loose woman. She's nothing but-” The longer she would talk, the more insulting she would become.

So, Cedar cut her off here already. “I would appreciate it if you stopped insulting Lucille for no apparent reason. If you don't have anything important to tell me, I will leave.” His voice had probably been a bit too cold since his mother immediately picked up on his anger.

Camille glared at him and spoke in a voice that sounded like she was holding herself back from yelling. “What do you mean? Why are you so sensitive when it comes to her?” She was the one to say that. “I know that are used to fooling her, but you can drop the act when you aren't around her. You obviously don't love or care for anyone aside from me. You could never be interested in someone that normal. What do you want with her?”

Cedar leaned his elbow on the armrest and massaged his temples. Hopefully, Theodore would come soon, or this conversation would be a nightmare. “Don't tell me anything about love, Mother. It's very obvious that you have a lot of issues with that topic.” He froze when those words left his mouth. He hadn't attempted to address the topic that Camille would react sensitively to.

Luckily, it seemed like the dowager empress was only in stage one of her growing anger and didn't break down instantly. She looked at him with wide eyes full of fury as she spoke. “I love you, and I love your Father. That should be more than enough.”

Cedar scanned his mother's expression to make sure that he wouldn't push her too hard before replying. “You have a particular way of showing said love.” After all, he had experienced all of her ‘love’ often enough. It had been rather painful in some cases, and his mental health didn't make it seem like Camille had done a good job raising him either.

Still, she didn't seem to agree. She narrowed her eyes at him, and her voice was dripping with fury as she continued. “If we accepted your assumption and said that I am unable to love, what does that tell us about you? Do you think you are really in love with that girl? I doubt it. You are completely unable to care about anyone but me. If you don't count that either, there is no way that you could ever love anyone.” It almost looked like she was content when she finished saying that, even if she was still fuming.

Cedar let his head roll backward. Was she trying to test his triggers again? He had no motivation to do this now. “Aren't you a little too excited about this topic? I never even claimed to love her.” Even though he suspected that this might be the closest to falling in love he had ever gotten. “I said that she is nice, and I like spending time with her. Is that a problem?”

That short bit had been enough to completely erase Camille's satisfaction and bury it under pure anger. She looked like she almost jumped up when she raised her voice again. “Stop fooling yourself! You don't like her! You are just imagining this!”

Cedar's desire to leave got greater with every second. He didn't need to listen to that again and again. “What exactly do you mean?” He didn't even hide his annoyance when he spoke.

Camille was still raging, but she forced herself to explain everything in a calm voice. “You want what Theodore has. You always did. You yourself know that more than anyone else. And as you know, he suddenly picked up some woman he claims to love her, and they cling to each other like glue. The only reason you allow a viscount's daughter to get closer to you is that you want to imitate what Theodore has. You want a relationship like he does too. Because you are naturally jealous of everything he possesses.”

That...

Cedar stared at his mother after hearing that, just letting the words resonate in his head while he thought about them. That wasn't it, right?

He felt so different around Lucille. He was content being with her and liked hugging her. He loved seeing her laugh and blush and hated seeing her cry. He had almost felt like dying when she had been shot because she had saved him.

Was all of that just something his brain had come up with because of his messed-up childhood? Just because he wanted to imitate Theodore and pretend to be normal?

No way.

Right?

But even as Cedar was panically thinking about that, he didn't show it. The prince just laughed. “Even if that was the case, which it certainly isn't, wouldn't I try to impress Her Majesty instead of a random woman Theodore has no relationship with? And one way or the other, why would that be your problem? I told you that I wouldn't have any contact with you. Whether I am with Lucille or not, whether I am on Theodore's side, whether I marry at some point and have children. Does any of this concern you? It doesn't.” He stood up. He hoped that he didn't show the anger that bubbled in his stomach by now too much. “And then I would like to remind you that you have no idea what my relationship with Lucille is. You have never even seen us interact in private. Stop making assumptions about my emotions. You were never good at reading me. Otherwise, you wouldn't keep bothering me when I clearly told you that I'm upset. Is that all you can tell me?”

Camille stood up as well. “Cedar.” She walked around the table toward him. “Cedar, you have to-” Maybe it had been good that she had done her best to annoy him before.

Cedar had no issue walking around the other end of the table to avoid her, even though he was used to returning any physical affection he got from her. He was so angry that he ignored her fully and steered toward the door. “Theoretically, you should be the one to clean up this mess.” He gestured toward the broken cup on the floor. “But I will tell a servant to deal with it if you leave now. You should attend the tea party instead of sitting here.”

Camille finally seemed to get that she might have been a bit too careless with her words now. “Cedar!” She came the last few steps toward him. She had been too quick since she collided with her son's arm. Yet, she didn't care as she threw her arms around his and held him in place. “Cedar, you can't leave in the middle of the conversation. We aren't done yet! I won't let you do the same thing again!”

Cedar sighed and halfheartedly pulled his arm up. Unsurprisingly, he couldn't move at all. He would have to use more force. “Mother, you know that I'm stronger than you. If I get you off, you will stumble. So, please let go.”

Camille hurriedly shook her head. “I refuse! You will sit back down now, and we'll talk this out!” She almost sounded hysteric while speaking. And with this, the dignified dowager empress had disappeared again.

Cedar was about to turn to the guards to ask one of them to step in, but the door opened before he could speak. He was both relieved and annoyed to see his brother here.

The emperor scanned the scene with a slight smile on his lips. “It seems like I came a bit too late. I apologize for that. May I hear what happened here?”

Cedar scanned his brother for a moment before coming to the only logical conclusion. If Theodore was this relaxed, he had known about it from the very beginning. Cedar showed him a bright smile as he responded. “Don't act so innocent. There is no way that none of the guards told you. You also don't have to ask me at all. Some of the men here can recount the whole conversation to you. I have to admit that I'm a bit too distracted to explain that now.”

Theodore let out a huff. “I believe that. Your conversation partner isn't very pleasant after all. I have to admit that I did know about the general situation. That's why I told the guards to keep an eye on her. Ah, by the way. Something is clinging to your arm. Did you notice?” His eyes fell onto Camille, who glared at him with more hatred than a single person should possess.

Cedar couldn't even bring himself to pretend to laugh. “You're funny, Theodore. As you can imagine, I did notice. And to be honest, I would like to deal with that for a moment before we begin talking about anything that happened here.” He turned his head to the dowager empress. “Mother, would you be kind enough to let go so that we can talk to the emperor in a normal manner?”

Camille narrowed her eyes at him. “It's normal for you to be next to me while we talk to him. You always escort me to balls, so this isn't much different. If I let go, you will try to run away again. Unfortunately, I still have to recover after the incident with Lord Astame, so my leg will not allow me to chase after you.” Now she was trying to guilt-trip him into staying.

Cedar let out a louder sigh. “I wouldn't run away if you had something important to tell me. If you want something, say it, and I won't leave during that time. There is no need to hold my arm.” Especially not in the iron-like grasp that she held it with. Didn't she notice that she was cutting off his circulation and digging her nails into his arm?

Camille only seemed to tighten her hold when she spoke and hissed at him. “Naturally, I cannot speak up when we aren't alone! Now we have unwanted company. How am I supposed to say it?”

Theodore watched her with a mocking smile that didn't disappear even when she glared at him. He probably found the dowager empress' distress funny.

Cedar tried to tear his arm away again. “Mother, I told you that already. If you can't say it in front of others, the odds are high that I don't want to hear it.” He didn't want to listen to her naming his triggers nor did he want to hear her empty affirmations of love. He also didn't want to hear her insulting Lucille a couple more times. So, he might as well just leave immediately. He could only thank the gods that Theodore was here to give him that chance.

Camille glared up at her son. “Cedar, you know that this is important. You can't just keep me at a distance forever. You will cave in at some point. I know that, and you know it as well. So, you can just drop the act and stop ignoring me now. You will only make it much harder for the both of us if you keep delaying this.”

That was odd.

It didn't make sense for Camille to reveal that they were fighting this openly. She should try to make Theodore believe that Cedar was going to betray him. Instead, she only made the prince seem more trustworthy.

That thought made Cedar pause. Doing this would only make sense if Camille still continued their act. Their little play of them fighting and Cedar changing sides while gaining sympathy because his mother suddenly hated him. But they should have ended that act as soon as he told her that he was going to support Theodore.

And the only reason for Camille to continue it would be because she hoped that the prince would still be on her side after this. She was certain that she would lull Cedar back into joining her, wasn't she?

Cedar almost let out a bitter laugh at that. He abruptly used more force and wrenched his arm away from her while taking a step to the side.

Camille was forced to let go to regain her balance. She stumbled forward a little but quickly stabilized herself. “Cedar!” She spun around to him and came toward him. She almost lunged at him to press her hand on both sides of her son's face and pull him down to her.

That was a dangerous gesture. She only did that when she wanted to hug him.

Cedar would probably freeze in an impulse if she managed to wrap her arms around his neck. So, he had to get away before that happened. Thankfully, he was much faster than his mother was. He had already taken a step back and moved around her when she came to a halt. He hurried to stand next to his brother and averted his eyes from Camille's expression. Even now, he hated seeing her upset. Yet, the fact that she didn't even seem to believe that he was able to stay away for longer than a few weeks made him angry enough to ignore it.

Theodore scanned the scene before speaking up. “It seems like the situation is quite unpleasant. Isn't Lady Valerian without a companion now? You may leave and take care of her.” Thank the gods. If the emperor sent someone away, they had to obey.

Cedar showed him a bright smile. “Of course. I will go there immediately.” He turned back to Camille. “Did you hear that, Mother? I fear you will have to be without me now. Goodbye. I hope that you have a nice afternoon.”

The dowager empress showed a strange expression that was a mixture of fury and despair. “Cedar, if you leave now, I will-”

The fact that he wasn't sure whether she was serious or just wanted to continue the act that should have ended already annoyed him enough to make him reply in a snarky tone for once. “Send assassins to kill me? I'm expecting that, don't worry. I know exactly what kinds of methods you would use, so I don't need to ponder this at all. I'm more prepared than anyone else, don't you think?”

Camille almost seemed to drop her facade at that. For a moment, she looked so desperate that Cedar felt a pang of guilt.

Then Cedar remembered everything she had done and how she had reacted to others crying for help and immediately forgot feeling bad. Instead, he just showed her a radiant smile as he left the room. He hadn't planned on bothering Lucille so soon after doing something strange, but it seemed like he would have to. He felt horrible, and only one person could help him now.

The prince ignored how the guards stepped aside when he passed by and climbed up the stairs with the full intention of using the fact that Lucille trusted him despite the things she heard to his advantage. If she didn't agree to hug him now, he probably would need to train for hours to vent. But being with her was by far the much easier and more pleasant method.