The Broken Prince's Love

“You said that I could enjoy some free time if I wanted to. But it's simply not necessary. It was my left hand that got injured, so I can still write without any issues.”

Theodore scanned his brother's expression for a moment before he replied. “Of course, you'd say that. Very well. You can go through those documents over there. They aren't urgent though. It's just connected to some laws. Since you won't have to read up on any, you should be done quickly. I don't want to work for long today either, so we'll both leave early.” He used his brother's current mood as a reason to return to his wife and daughter earlier. That wasn't surprising at all.

Cedar couldn't even bring himself to be annoyed when it would allow him to see Lucille sooner again. So, he just walked over and plopped onto his chair. “I will do my best to go through it quickly then. I won't get between you and your family, or it will get ugly for me.” He picked up the pen and already wanted to focus on the text he had to read. He didn't get that far.

Theodore didn't look down at his papers and just kept staring at the prince. “You always exclude yourself when you say things like that, but you are my brother. You are part of my family.” Maybe. They were blood-related after all. But that definition wasn't the one that mattered.

Cedar lifted his head again to beam at the emperor. “Well, you are correct. But theoretically, Mother is related to you too, and you won't include her in your family meeting. So, you aren't necessarily relying on the biological definition here.” That was understandable. Cedar had difficulties remembering that his father had been a part of his family too. He had barely spoken with that man, so it was hard to feign sympathy for his father even now.

But even more than that, it felt odd to suddenly see Theodore as someone he got along with. It had been a while since Cedar had changed sides, and he still couldn't get used to this completely. Maybe because his brother suddenly said strange things at times, much like he did now.

Theodore met Cedar's gaze with a completely serious expression while he spoke. “You shouldn't compare yourself with that woman. You know well that you never did the horrible things she did. You only followed her lead after she had manipulated you ever since you were born. You finally managed to cut off her hold on you, and now you are here. Of course, you are a part of the family. Maybe it will take a while until this works completely, but we'll make it happen. We're stubborn. It runs in the family, so we will find a way to leave behind the past.”

Cedar would love to finally close this chapter. The first twenty-two years of his life had been spent serving his mother. He had never been happy during that time. Now he finally managed to do something that allowed him to feel some satisfaction. It was natural for him to cling to the hopes of him being able to leave his past behind. But that would only happen when the biggest fear in the back of his mind finally disappeared. “That will be hard. But maybe it will work once we got rid of this mess here.” Cedar was referring to his mother and the remaining traitors in the capital.

Theodore showed him a faint smile. “It will work. You can be sure of that. I will do my best, and I know that you are also putting in a lot of effort. So, we will succeed. I considered delaying the trial regarding the incident yesterday a bit, but that won't be needed. We have enough witnesses, so we'll just have a small gathering with some important nobles, who are all on my side, of course. Would you mind appearing during that?” So, he would just mimic a trial and use Camille's behavior to show everyone present that she was insane.

Cedar didn't want to see that. In the end, it would only be his mother yelling and insulting him and everyone around them. No one had to witness that. But at the same time, facing her would be necessary. Otherwise, Camille would know that he felt guilty and would use that against him from now on. He had to remain strong here. “You always insisted on me dealing with her in person. I will come. It would be good for Lucille to be there too, right? She was the victim. I don't want her to be involved since this won't be pretty, but it may be better to keep up appearances. After all, this is supposed to seem like a trial, even if everyone will secretly complain about you judging this matter.”

Theodore made a rejecting movement with his hand. “As I said. Their opinions don't matter when someone attempted to kill an inhabitant of the palace. I won't allow anyone to criticize me in this regard. The people who try will only reveal themselves to be traitors. By now, few people support the dowager empress, so it is questionable whether even a single person will speak up for her.” Most likely, no one would do that.

After all, Camille was known to be hated by Theodore. Anyone who took her side would risk the emperor's anger. A dowager empress who had almost lost all of her power wouldn't be able to protect her supporters, so they would leave her behind. Most likely, Theodore wanted to show that to Camille during this little trial as well.

Cedar acted like he didn't imagine how upset his mother would be that day. “I understand. Then it seems like I can leave everything to you. Is there something I can help you with?” It would feel strange to help condemn his mother, but he had chosen his side. He couldn't stand by but needed to show whom he would support.

Theodore paused for a moment before he replied. “I don't think there is anything special. Your testimony is obviously important. You remember what happened, so there isn't much to do aside from recounting the events. You could prepare your words already, but it will be fine as long as you show up and talk like you usually do. Just remember that that woman will be out of her mind when she realizes what is going on.”

Cedar couldn't hold back the sarcastic comment. “Really? I would never have guessed that. Thank you for bringing this to my attention.” Obviously, Camille would be furious. Her reaction upon being arrested had shown that much. As always, she would convince herself that she was innocent. Then she would blame Theodore, Lucille or Cedar and act like they framed her. She wouldn't even listen to the guards' testimonies when it came to this. Cedar let out a sigh. “She will act like the victim.”

Theodore rustled with some documents as he sorted them, but he kept his eyes on his brother. He took in the other's expression before responding. “I already noticed that too. But I do have a question for you. You know her best, so maybe you know.” He put down the papers and rested his chin on his palm. “Does she really believe that she is the victim? I was never quite sure whether she just kept denying everything because it was better for her like this. Because her being vile would damage her reputation and lessen her influence. But sometimes, it almost seemed like she truly is delusional. I remember seeing her lose her mind because of trivialities occasionally, and no matter what happened, she blamed others. I even remember her saying that you were responsible for some of her errors despite you not even being anywhere near her at that time.”

Oh, that was a simple question with a less simple answer.

Cedar had spent years pondering whether his mother truly believed that she was a good person. Whenever he had been yelled at, he had tried to find an explanation for her tantrums and wondered whether it truly had been his fault. In the end, he had never been able to understand her completely. But he had gotten the hang of calming her down, so he seemed to know the basics.

Explaining that was hard, but Cedar gave his best. “She is a very...complex person. But, yes. It seems like she just feels like the world revolves around her and that she can do no wrong. That was fueled by her parents raising her knowing that she would be empress. She was the one who introduced her sister to noble society and picked out friends for Aunt too. She had always had that prominent role in her family and our society. That is why she expects everyone else to listen to her as well and do things exactly like she imagines that they have to be done.”

And why she thought that everyone belonged to her, like puppets in a dollhouse.

Cedar paused for a moment to consider whether he wanted to mention this before he continued. “Just like that, she also doesn't love Father. She just knew that he was her husband and the most powerful man in this nation. So, if everything revolves around her, he certainly would have to become obsessed with her too. But that didn't happen. Since Father was the first person to ignore her and not treat her like the most important thing in this world, Mother hated it. So, she focused on him more and more until she became completely obsessive. Naturally, the people who received Father's attention became her enemies because of that. Whether that may be Althea or you. She hated you for choosing Althea over her, but I think she also hated you because Father spent time with you. That might have been why she sent assassins and such too. Because she wanted to hurt you and Althea. At least I think that that might have been it. She would never have admitted it.” When he was done, he just looked at his brother and waited for the reaction.

Theodore was silent for a bit longer than normal. He seemed to consider whether he should speak up or not. Then he gave in. “I think I finally realized one important part here. I never thought about it like that, but...” He stared into the distance before he made eye contact with his brother again. “Did you hear what you just said? She hated everyone Father cared for. After you were born, she became obsessed with you too. She wanted to monopolize your affection and probably focused on you much more than on Father.”

Cedar had planned on staying quiet, but he couldn't hold back. “I doubt it. She was always thinking about how to please Father. When they fought, she was extremely upset afterward, and she encouraged me to try to impress him too.”

He had barely finished when Theodore already replied. “I don't think so. If she had valued Father more than anything else, she wouldn't have fought with him. She would just have agreed and given in to avoid his anger. But she didn't do that. Of course, I rarely noticed it, but I think most fights they had were connected to you. Everyone could see that the way that woman treated you was far from perfect, and Father addressed that a few times.” That wasn't unlikely. Perhaps the former emperor had been upset because people kept annoying him with stories about what Camille had done, so he would obviously speak up at some point. “And each time they discussed that, the dowager empress refused to change anything no matter whether Father yelled at her. That means that she cared about keeping you dependent on her more than about his opinion. After those fights, she was always even more explosive and much harsher with you.”

Cedar remembered that. He had been the one to pay the price for each fight between his parents after all. Mostly, it hadn't been a physical reminder of his mother's fury, but those had been there too. Either way, Camille had always yelled after fighting with her husband. She had cried and thrown vases while insulting the servants. Then she had pulled her son into her arms and held him tightly while repeating that he wouldn't leave her. She had been really clingy on those days. “Maybe. Mother's mood was always ruined when Father discussed with her. But that doesn't mean much. The man she cared about was angry with her, so she'd obviously be upset.” He wasn't sure about whether Camille had been more dependent on him than on his father, and he didn't want to think about that. The conclusion might make him even more unhappy than him believing that he was a replacement for his father.

Theodore seemed like he was rather careful when he spoke up now. He did his best to dance around the issue without putting salt into the wound. “That's true. But like I said. It proves that she wanted to keep you closer to her than Father. You were the person she seemed to have in her grasp at all times, so she would never have let go. If you cared for others and formed relationships, it would have made her unhappy, right? And you just told me that you think that she might have hated me because Father spent time with me. She never cared about me as much as she cared about you, so I might have been off pretty well despite the incidents in my childhood. It could have been worse than some servants trying to trigger my allergy or someone trying to kidnap me. If you had been involved, the dowager empress would have been much more sensitive. So, let me ask you this. What would have happened if Father had shown you affection? Wouldn't that have caused some serious issues thanks to her mental problems? After all, the two people she claimed to have ownership over suddenly getting along without her would have insulted her in some way.”

Cedar slowly noticed in which direction this conversation went. He didn't like that one bit. He didn't want any dirty excuse for why his father had ignored him. “I doubt that you are thinking right in that regard. That doesn't match with Father's personality. He has always been rather cold with everyone, and Althea was merely half of an exception. He wasn't even really nice to you, was he? So, don't convince yourself of the opposite. To be honest, I don't care about what he thought either. I'm happy with the way everything turned out.” He was content having given up on winning his father's affection after just a few times.

Maybe that had been around the time he had broken his arm and realized that his father hadn't even visited him once. After that, he hadn't cared anymore, so he didn't need to talk himself into believing that the former emperor had seen anything but his work, his heir and Althea.

The prince had no issues announcing that out loud too. “It's not necessary for you to try to read anything into someone else's thoughts. We shouldn't waste our time with that when we clearly have other matters to think about.” He looked down to read his documents. “This is the first draft of a new law that is supposed to control the economy a bit more, right? I will read it and tell you whether there are any problems.”

Theodore barely waited until his brother was done before he spoke. “I know that you might not want to hear this. But maybe Father, for all of his mistakes, realized a big threat. Maybe he saw what she could do to me without being found out. There were quite a few attempts at poisoning me, throwing me down the stairs or shooting arrows at me. I had trouble dealing with that, and she wasn't even serious. But if she had tried to target you, it would have gotten more ugly. I'm not trying to defend Father. I know how useless he was as a parent, but-”

Cedar didn't believe that for one second. He knew that his father had never cared for more than his work and the nation. The former emperor hadn't even shown his lover, Althea, as much affection as he could, and he had treated Theodore like a student instead of a son. Alastair hadn't been someone who valued social connections very much. So, pondering his reasons was unnecessary. Partly, because the result wouldn't change and partly because Cedar truly didn't care. He had already gotten over the fact that his father hadn't liked to act like a family. He was prepared to say just that to finally make his brother stop, but he didn't get to.

The door of the neighboring room flew open, and Leon walked inside while balancing a huge stack of folders. He let all of that slam onto the table next to Cedar and greeted the prince with a smile. “Good day. It seems like Theodore was right about you coming.” He just plopped down next to the prince and began spreading the folders there to sort them. As expected, Leon was fully relaxed. He had completely given up on using titles and paying attention to formalities a while ago, which was rather pleasant since it was much easier like this.

Especially since Leon had come at the perfect moment. He had spared the prince an unpleasant conversation.

Cedar was glad that he was here now, and he quickly used that for his sake and changed the topic. “Good day, Leon. I only came a bit later than normal because some guards stopped me to talk about something. But since I've been here for over five minutes, I was on time anyway.” He showed the other man a bright smile.

Theodore looked a bit more annoyed. “You like interrupting important conversations, don't you? That was a horrible moment.” He knew well that his brother would avoid that topic now, so the chance to talk about it any time soon was lost. But at least he accepted that and didn't insist on discussing it now. He just made eye contact with Cedar, which said that this conversation wasn't over for him.

For the prince, it was over, so they could fight about this in the future.

Leonard glanced at the both of them. Apparently, he noticed that the mood was sour and immediately directed the conversation toward something else. The topic wasn't much more pleasant though. “Regarding what happened yesterday, I still need to tell you something.” He made eye contact with the prince, and a wide grin formed on his lips. “Congratulations. I'm a bit jealous that I wasn't there.” Right. Of course, he would be happy to hear about this. He had been the one almost breaking Camille's leg after Rebecca's baby party. He hadn't been happy about that woman proposing to hurt Blanche at all. That, along with the whole assassination attempt on Theodore, made Camille the person Leon despised most. Thanks to him being a former assassin, that might be connected to him wishing pain on the concerned person.

Cedar couldn't blame him. But he couldn't bring himself to feel good about what had happened either. “I wish I could have gone without breaking her arm though. That wasn't on purpose, but it's still my fault. I used way too much force.”

Leonard just shrugged. “It's her fault for provoking you. I don't think you have to feel bad about that. I took a look at that woman's arm. It was a clean fracture. I don't get why she complained about that. It could have been way messier.” So, he had visited Camille to relish in seeing her suffer.

Cedar fought the urge to ask him how his mother was, but he still said it indirectly. “You went to her cell? I assume you didn't treat her.”

Leon let out a small laugh and looked much more grim than normal despite his smirk. “Obviously not. I just wanted to see how painful it had to be.” He certainly had done worse than that. He probably had added something unpleasant to vent his anger about Camille attacking someone within the palace, but at least he was kind enough to keep quiet about this. Leon made himself comfortable on the chair and pushed the documents aside to pull a mug with his chocolate milk to him. “I think she is off well though. She managed to sleep without medicine, so it wasn't harsh. Well, at least she tried to sleep. I doubt that she had much rest. She was rather...upset. She kept yelling the whole night and demanded to be let out whenever she woke up on the cold floor. Well, she has received what she had sown. I can assure you that I would have done worse if I had been there. Much worse.” He grinned at the prince. Was that his way of trying to make Cedar feel better?

If so, it didn't help much.

Still, Cedar beamed at him. “I would have appreciated it if we could have gone without this whole thing. It would have been better if we had found the weapon before Mother entered. But I guess that it was good that I was there to deal with it.” He had at least won without cutting off Camille's hand or killing her.

Leon didn't seem to be content with that though. “We could have used that incident as a justification to get back at her for some things. So, I am a bit uncertain whether it would not have been better for me to be there. But we can't change that now. There is something else I wanted to ask though.” He suddenly seemed much more serious, but he didn't give Cedar a chance to process that change. “I said that I examined the fracture, right? You should know that I have experience with that kind of...injuries. You said that you used too much force, but you actually used the exact amount to break her bone without hurting her unnecessarily. It was a clean fracture, and seemingly, you did that with a single motion. I haven't seen you do it. But from what I heard and saw when I looked at that fracture, I wondered whether you might have used a specific technique. One that some...colleagues of mine used in the past. Why I know how to do it is obvious. Why you fight like that is more of a riddle. Especially since I watched you train a few times out of curiosity and would claim that you move more than an assassin than a knight. Does that have anything to do with the people your mother made you train with?”

That was an unpleasant question. Cedar could admit the truth here, or he could try to distract. Since two pairs of eyes were already piercing him, he should avoid lying though. He had the suspicion that Theodore might already have guessed what this was about, so he would risk making it even more obvious by twisting the facts. “Well, there isn't much to say about this. Mother wanted me to learn how to fight in earnest. So, she got the strongest instructors she could find.” Including assassins with some questionable background.

A loud noise sounded through the room. One glance at Theodore proved that he had just set down his pen with too much force and was now glaring at his brother. “What?” His voice carried a sharp undertone while he spoke. “She invited assassins into the palace to train you? And those men were the ones that did that damned shock training with you? So, you are telling me that she sent fully grown men who are used to killing anyone they see after a child while ordering them to break your bones if you don't defeat them?” That sounded pretty bad. It hadn't been exactly like that though.

Cedar opened his mouth to refute that immediately. “Wait. It wasn't like that. They weren't supposed to break my bones. That was just a one-time thing. And I didn't have to defeat them in the beginning either. At first, I was just supposed to avoid attacks and react to sounds around me. So that I would never be surprised if someone attacked me.” That was what had created his reflex when it came to being approached from behind.

Seemingly, his response hadn't made the situation much better though.

Leonard, who seemed like he was hiding a bit too much anger beneath his barely persisting facade, narrowed his eyes. “Those bastards actually attacked a child? There are countless rules against that in any group. That's about the only sacrilege among assassins. They just disregarded that for money, didn't they? And they are the ones that did that training Theodore found out about?”

Cedar couldn't add much to that. “Yes. I had multiple instructors, and I believe that about half of them were assassins. I always ended the practice with a duel, and after I won against the last teacher, I proved that I was better than all of them. So, you don't have to worry about that training. It was efficient.”

Theodore had interlocked his fingers in front of his face and now used much more force to hold them together while looking rather grim. “Efficient? You mean traumatizing. That woman always reveals even more disgusting sides of her, and each one is so ugly that it makes me hate her even more. How about we let her train with such people for a while? Let's see whether she learns to fight, and if she reacts too slowly, someone will break her arm.” He glared into the distance and muttered some rather concerning things, which didn't seem to bother Leon at all for some reason. At some point, Theodore directed his gaze to his brother again before he spoke up. “Where are those people now? Do you know anything about their identities?”

It felt like this might end up as a rather long discussion about Cedar's training. Especially since Leon might recognize some names and point out that those people had been extremely dangerous. Surely, Theodore wouldn't like hearing that his brother had defeated those around his fourteenth birthday. It wasn't clear why he was so upset, but it certainly would take a while to distract him again.