The Broken Prince's Love

Lucille had trouble sleeping that night. It might have been because of the whirlwind of thoughts in her head or because she knew that Cedar wasn't as unaffected as he pretended to be. Her lover's bright smile and how tightly he had held her as soon as they went to bed had betrayed him.

And she knew that his main fear hadn't been possibly being drugged. It had been worrying about hurting her or making her hate him because he lost his temper. That had made her upset in return. She had only been able to sleep at all because her lover had been next to her.

That didn't mean that Lucille wasn't exhausted the next morning though. She felt like she had only slept for an hour, so she refused to stand up. She just stayed in that position and held still while hoping that she would fall asleep again. But of course, she wasn't that blessed. The light fell onto her face, and she quickly got less tired. At some point, she opened her eyes and gazed at Cedar.

Her lover's eyes were closed, so it looked like he was still asleep. Lucille couldn't move too much, or she might wake him up. That gave her a good chance to admire him.

While Cedar was sleeping, his smile wasn't visible. For once, his face was completely relaxed. Even now, he looked like an angel without doing anything special. He was just beautiful. There was no way to deny it. He was the most attractive person in this whole world and acted like he was used to seducing others whenever he began teasing his lover. And at the same time, he looked so ethereal that no one would believe he could have ulterior motives.

Lucille loved both sides of him. Whether he was an angel or the opposite didn't matter when he was with her. She truly loved him, and confessing that had been the best idea she had ever had. Now she could enjoy all of this for as long as possible.

She tried to stay still, but it got uncomfortable with time. But she couldn't even think about whether to move before the choice was taken from her.

Cedar just opened his eyes at some point. He was a bit drowsy for a moment before a soft and genuine smile appeared on his face. He lifted his head, and then their daily routine followed. He leaned over to her and gave her a small kiss on her forehead. “Good morning, Lucille.”

When he acted so soft around her, her heart only melted more. “Good morning.” Lucille extended her arm toward him and carefully stroked over his head. She relished in the way that he closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. She should really do this more often.

Cedar let his head sink onto the pillow again and opened his eyes a moment later. “You seem a bit tired. Did you sleep, or did you lie awake until the middle of the night?” He knew that well. He had been awake until then too.

“I fear that I didn't sleep as much as I would have liked to. But it's fine.” Lucille might go to bed a bit earlier today so that she could at least make up for the hours that she had lost because of her constant worrying.

Cedar hummed while she still drew circles into his scalp and kept his eyes on her face. “We should make sure not to do anything too exciting today then. You need to preserve energy. But I am not sure whether staying in bed is an option. We will have to stand up at some point, no matter how nice it is to lie around here.” As if someone wanted to underline that statement, a knock sounded from the door. Cedar let out a low sigh and sat up. He glanced at the clock before looking at Lucille. “Should I go hide? If we let a servant in now, everyone will know tomorrow.”

Lucille quickly shook her head. “It's fine.” There were rumors already, and more than enough people had seen how the prince spent his time in her room too. Everyone knew that he came in the evening to sleep here and only left in the morning when they went out to eat breakfast. He didn't need to hide now for no reason. “We will...just get dressed quickly.” She turned her head to the door and replied more loudly. “Please wait a moment!”

Cedar already put his feet on the floor. “Dressing now takes too long. I will give you your coat. If you put that on, it should be fine, and my clothes are acceptable as well.” He reached the clothing rack and took off the coat he had mentioned before bringing it to her.

Lucille shot up and allowed her lover to help her put it on. He used that chance to press a kiss on her neck, and immediately, a jolt ran down her skin from the spot his lips had touched. Her reaction earned her a little chuckle, which made her happy and embarrassed at the same time. She would have liked to calm down or to get a real kiss before greeting the servant, but she shouldn't let that person wait. So, she turned to the door. “You may enter.”

The door opened, and Darlene came in with a wide grin, which only became more radiant when her eyes fell on Cedar. She smirked at Lucille before bowing to them.

Lucille tried to ignore what kinds of thoughts that maid had to have and quickly spoke. “Good morning.”

Cedar recognized the empress' maid and gave up on protecting his lover's reputation in that regard. Darlene knew, so he didn't need to hide that he had in fact shared the bed with Lucille. He sat down on the mattress again. “Good morning. It looks like Her Majesty felt the need to send us some news early in the morning.”

Darlene lifted her head and beamed at them. “Good morning. What a surprise to see you here, Your Royal Highness. Her Majesty told me that you would be hiding here, but I was skeptical. It seems like she was right though. In any case, Her Majesty wants to see you. She wishes for you to eat breakfast with her.”

Cedar ignored the comment about him being here and just focused on the later part. “How surprising. It seems like she wants us to go admire Aurora again.”

Darlene quickly nodded. “Naturally. Not doing that would be a crime. You are aware of how cute that little angel is. Anyway. You have half an hour to get ready before coming to His Majesty's chambers.” That was enough time.

Lucille still would have liked to have some minutes extra, but it should be fine if they hurried. “I see. We will be there.” Even if she was sure that she would be a bit tense upon eating with the royal couple again.

Darlene looked like she was content with that, but her mood quickly deteriorated again. “Ah. There was something else I needed to bring you.” Her expression darkened as she pulled out two envelopes from behind her back. She walked over to the couple and handed each of them an envelope. “These arrived yesterday evening. His and Her Majesty received one too.”

Lucille looked down at the envelope and scanned it. The paper was white, and the only line that was written on it was her full name. She turned it around and froze when she saw the seal on the other side. “An invitation? We just had an event yesterday.” The fact that this event happened wasn't even the worst part. The seal was dark blue with a golden outline, which were the royal colors. It was broken, so it had been opened already. Only the letters of one person would be deemed dangerous enough to justify opening them before the addressee received them.

Cedar had noticed that already too. “Just because Lady Peril's party ended badly, that doesn't keep others from having an event. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be a pleasant one. I heard Mother wants to have a birthday banquet soon to celebrate her late birthday.” He pulled the letter out and skimmed through it. It only took a few seconds before he could affirm his guess. “That's what this is. An invitation for her birthday banquet in a week. That will be fun.” He eyed a specific line on the letter before putting it on the nightstand.

Lucille opened her letter too. There was nothing special. It was just the typical phrasing for an invitation to someone's event. She lifted her head again and gave her lover a questioning look. “Why did she invite me? She hates me.” She had a bad feeling about this.

Cedar's bright smile revealed that he wasn't too happy either. “She probably invited every single noble within the capital. After all, she can't just leave out a family that always attends. She might try to use this to harm your reputation in some way too. She could act like you brought her a bad gift or something like that. It would be better if I escort you and present a gift for both of us. Just to be safe.”

Lucille couldn't admit how much pressure that took off her. She would have been extremely stressed if she had been forced to find a present for the dowager empress. She quickly nodded and lowered her gaze again. It felt strange to know that she would have to congratulate the woman she hated so much. She stared at the paper for a moment before making eye contact with Darlene. “Thank you for bringing this to us.”

The maid showed her a forced smile. “I wish that I didn't have to send anyone there, but it seems like His and Her Majesty will go too. They weren't too happy, but they will attend to keep an eye on everything. His Majesty said that it won't take long anymore.” That was probably referring to him wanting to get rid of Camille.

Lucille swallowed and glanced to the side.

Cedar wasn't very affected. In fact, he seemed like that wasn't new to him.

Darlene bowed for a moment before she spoke. “In any case, there won't be much of a choice but to go. His Majesty said that he won't force you but that it might be good to face that woman. I will take my leave now, and we will see each other for breakfast.” When no complaints came, she left.

For a moment, it was silent until Cedar let out a deep breath. “My brother still wants me to confront her, huh? That's why he added the hint out about us needing to face her.”

Lucille was happy to put the letter to the side and sat down on the bed as well. She scanned Cedar's face for a couple of seconds before speaking. “What do you mean?”

Cedar responded without meeting her gaze. “I hoped that avoiding my mother would be the most helpful thing when it comes to dealing with her. Theodore is convinced that I need to get close to her occasionally though. He wants me to say no to her and to push her away with my own force. He isn't wrong. But I still hate seeing her. It will be especially strange because this here is...” Cedar's voice trailed off. He stared straight ahead for a moment before shaking his head to himself.

Lucille kept his eyes on him and waited for something to come, but he didn't say anything. So, she spoke a moment later. “Is something wrong?”

Cedar remained silent for a few more seconds before he replied. “This is the first time I wasn't with my mother during her birthday. It feels weird. I completely forgot to congratulate her, even though I was used to doing it every year.” His smile was a bit more uncertain than normal.

Lucille felt her heart skip a beat when she saw that. He didn't hide behind that facade right now, and he addressed a topic that he was unsure about. This was an important moment. She pulled her legs onto the bed and turned her whole body to him. She waited a bit to give him a chance to speak and only opened her mouth when he didn't say anything. “You don't have to congratulate her. She's...” She wasn't sure how to phrase this. Camille was still his mother and the person he had cared about most for the last two decades. So, Lucille had to show some tact here instead of cursing that woman. “She doesn't necessarily deserve it.” She almost expected to have overdone it with that.

But Cedar just showed her a bright smile. “You're right. I know that she doesn't deserve most of the things I did for her. But I never questioned that when I was younger. I just did what I was told to do. And she justified me doing all of that because she claimed that I...cared for her and needed to prove it. Because she said that she loved me and had given me so much. I was always supposed to show my gratitude for that.”

Lucille felt a pang of anger and resignation when she heard that. Camille had manipulated a small child ever since his birth, and now that he freed himself from her chains, she refused to let him be happy. Lucille didn't even have a hint of sympathy for that woman left. “You don't have to show gratitude for your mother when she treats you like this. Loving your children should be normal.” Even if her own mother didn't seem to be of that conviction either. “And you don't have to do everything for someone you love either. Your own life is still most important. It's your own decisions that matter.”

Cedar was silent and just looked at her for a moment. His smile was so warm that it immediately made her want to hug him. But of course, she couldn't do that when he was in the middle of pondering something. He turned his gaze away after a few seconds and stared at the ground in front of him. “It's nice to hear that. Until a few months ago, I never saw it that way though. My whole life revolved around her. I was supposed to do what my mother wanted, and seeing her happy would have made me happy too. So, I might not have been thinking about such a matter as many others would have done it.”

Lucille came a little closer while trying to make sure that she didn't move too suddenly. “But you understand that now, right?”

Cedar let out a little noise that sounded like a mix of a huff and a chuckle. “Maybe. I still hate upsetting her. But I can endure it now because I felt what real satisfaction feels like. When she praised me after I did something for her, it was just a temporary reward. It didn't really make me happy. I found other things that are much more worthwhile.” He turned his head to his lover and smiled at her.

Lucille's heart clenched at that thought. She still reacted to him way too sensitively. Even now, it felt like she could just faint because he had smiled at her. “I... Hearing that makes me happy.”

Cedar chuckled again. He moved his hand to hers and carefully interlocked their fingers. Then he focused his gaze on her face and scanned her for a moment. He whispered the next part. “It's still weird to know that she spent her birthday all alone. I was so used to doing everything for her that day. It was the same each year.”

Lucille stroked her thumb over the backside of his hand. It almost sounded like he wanted to talk about this despite those times not being the most joyful ones of his life. So, she wanted to give him a chance. “What did you do for her birthday?”

Cedar still looked at her, but it seemed like his eyes were fixated on something behind her. He got lost in memories while he explained. “As I said, my priority was always Mother. So, obviously, her birthday would consist of me clinging to her the whole time, whether that had been in the palace or in confinement. I would wake her up in the morning with a tray of her favorite food. Then I would wish her the best for the next year and bring her a mountain of gifts. The servants all had to congratulate her too, so I had to ensure that everyone remembered it. We would usually visit the kitchen so that I could order a cake for the afternoon while she waited outside. I had to come up with a new flavor each year, but she still had extremely specific ideas for what she wanted, so it was a bit hard. During the years in which Father was still alive, we visited his office before noon. If Father decided to acknowledge her, she was in a good mood after that. If not, she would be upset until the ball began, and it would be my task to console her.”

Lucille still found it strange how different the dowager empress had looked in public. Hadn't Camille always seemed like a cold and much too perfect empress? Lucille had probably just seen her while that woman had still been empress four times or so. And yet, she remembered being as scared of Camille as she had been of the previous emperor. It was horrible for a child to grow up with two such cold people as parents. And it was even worse if the mother was actually a controlling monster behind closed doors.

Cedar still seemed to remember the past in front of his inner eye while he spoke to her. “Of course, I also had to help her with preparing for the ball. Mother had maids to dress her and brush her hair, but as you know, her temper is pretty explosive. If she didn't like something, I had to be there to keep the situation from getting unfavorable. That often ended in me needing to brush her hair because the maids allegedly hurt her, which I don't believe for one second since they were always so careful. The evening usually was a bit more relaxed then. You saw how the balls for the empress usually are. Nobles visit and bring their gifts. Then they present their presents to the thrones and talk about how wonderful the birthday child is. I had to stand there most of the time while trying to ignore how my mother glared at Theodore or Althea when they spoke. The rest was usually rather calm. Unless Mother began causing trouble for Althea in public or fumed because of that poor woman afterward.” He let out a little huff before he focused on reality again. “To be honest, I don't know why Althea even came there anymore when she only got insulted. But I assume she wanted to be polite. As you can hear, that didn't keep Mother from hating her.”

Lucille didn't know how complicated the relationships between the different members of the royal family had been, but even she understood that Camille had resented Althea. Apparently, the dowager empress hadn't let go of the grudge even after the other woman's death. “I see. It's...unpleasant that you had to go through such stressful times.”

Cedar's smile was already the typical one he showed at all times again. His moment of confusion about his own feelings was over. “Oh, you don't have to worry about that. Her birthdays usually raised her mood. Those were some of the best days.” That didn't sound very calming. After all, Camille had still caused trouble on those days. What had her bad days looked like? Cedar didn't talk about that anymore though. “In any case, we should get up now, shouldn't we? We can't sit in bed all day.” He stood up and walked the few steps to the nightstand. He pulled the hairbrush out of the drawer before he returned to her side and plopped down next to her. “Should I brush your hair?”

Lucille blinked at him when she heard that. She hadn't expected that offer. Her hair was straight and rather easy to brush, so she didn't really need help. But that wasn't why she was reluctant to accept. She was a bit worried about Cedar feeling like he needed to do something for her so that she would like him, and that wasn't what she wanted him to think. “You don't have to do that. Especially not because...you know.” Because he had brushed his mother's hair in the past.

Cedar just grinned at her. “No, that's not it, Silly. For you, I would like to do it. I mean, I even asked on my own. To be honest, it's just an excuse for me to touch your hair a bit. Will you let me abuse that excuse for a bit? Please?” If he wanted to do it, she had no problem giving him permission.

Lucille scanned his face for a moment to make sure before she turned her back to him.

This shouldn't be a very special moment, but to Lucille, it felt weird. Only her mother and Mathilda had ever done this for her. One had left her behind and one was dead. The empress' maids had helped her a few times as well, but that had never been quite the same.

So, it felt a bit strange when Cedar began touching her hair. He was very careful while he tried to estimate how sensitive she was. He quickly noticed how easily the few knots disappeared thanks to her straight hair, but he still took his time brushing her. Cedar made slow and deliberate movements while going from the top to the bottom. He probably planned on combing every single strand, so this would take much longer than doing it alone would have.

But Lucille didn't complain. She just held still. After a few seconds of silence, she decided to continue the conversation though. “What do you think will happen during her banquet?”

“This will be worse than the party yesterday. Mother will come up with some kind of plot to cause trouble for us. I'd rather not eat anything close to her, but I doubt that we will have a choice. Theodore will probably exchange the food for us anyway. He wouldn't let her put her fingers near anything his wife will consume. So, my mother can either just start yelling, or she can throw things at us and insult us. I don't know. Or she will accuse Theodore of killing our father again.”

Lucille closed her eyes while enjoying the soft motion of the bush, which felt a little like a massage at the same time. “Well, it won't be pretty. But your brother is there, right? And even without him, she can't do whatever she wants. The guests will keep an eye on her.”

Cedar began speaking but changed his mind a moment later. “I wanted to calm you, but I would rather have you be prepared. I wouldn't be so sure about others helping us much. Mother has always done whatever she wanted. If people opposed her, she got rid of them, so no one else dared to voice their dismay. That was the case while she was empress, and it's still the same. Of course, that applied to servants, who she threw out of the palace as she saw it fit, and to nobles, who she could ruin in illegal ways. Even now, no one will want to make her their enemy. They just hope that Theodore will finish her off soon.”

It was a bit odd to hear how someone spoke about his mother like this. But Cedar was well aware of the fact that the dowager empress wouldn't last. Since he knew her vilest plots, he was able to judge whether his mother deserved another chance. His verdict was ‘no’ here. Of course, he understood the consequences of that.