The Broken Prince's Love

“This might...might be the dowager empress' doing.” Jenna had admitted it outright.

Theodore didn't show any signs of sympathy because of the confession though. He still glared at her with so much hatred that any normal person would shiver. “And what is your proof? Why would the dowager empress go out of her way to use your home to drug her own son?”

Jenna was quiet for a moment, and that was understandable. She couldn't say a single wrong word now, or she would seriously get hurt. This wasn't just about her giving up half of her business anymore, so she had to be careful. “Her Majesty...wrote me letters.” She paused for a few seconds before trying to explain it in a manner that wouldn't incriminate her. She folded her hands and put on the most pitiful expression she could muster. “I swear on my life and my family name that I never wished to position myself on her side in any way. I merely exchanged letters with her because I worried about her mental health.” She looked at the emperor in an attempt to read his mood.

Theodore kept a wrathful expression that didn't allow her to guess much.

So, Lady Peril had to continue without being able to confirm whether her story worked. “Her Majesty has always been rather sensitive when it comes to certain matters. And now that His Royal Highness isn't with her anymore, I guessed that she would break down. So, I wished to help her a bit and contacted her. Sometimes, she mentioned strange things. Like some sort of code that is based on flowerpots being arranged in a specific way or other confusing things. And just two days ago, she wrote that she wants to do something to keep Lady Valerian away from His Royal Highness.”

Of course, that was Camille's goal. Using a drug like this was the simplest way for her. After all, this could have either ended up with Cedar losing his temper and hurting Jenna, which could have terrified Lucille. Or it could have ended even worse, which wouldn't have been a surprise if Cedar had actually been drugged. The only question was why Camille was convinced that her son was stupid enough to drink something that came from Lady Peril. Even if Cedar was fairly sure that Jenna was too intelligent to do something that would put her on trial for treason, he would have never taken a risk.

And that Camille couldn't guess that probably meant that she wasn't thinking too clearly right now. The angrier she got, the less deliberate her actions were. Maybe she slowly understood that Cedar would leave her. The near future would probably hold even more surprises then. But that his guess regarding the flowerpots had proven to be correct could help him find out what his mother planned.

Cedar had watched the scene in front of him in silence for a while before he commented on it. “You are giving in quickly for someone who has Mother's trust.” After all, it seemed like Camille had intended to use Lady Peril against Lucille. That was why she had told the other woman about Cedar's triggers too. She had wanted him to break down in front of Lucille so that she would be scared of him.

Jenna still showed the same panicked expression, and by now, she had even managed to fake some tears. “I am not sure what you could be referring to. Her Majesty, the dowager empress sent me these letters, but I never knew what those flowerpots were supposed to mean. I never visited her, so I would not even know whether she has some of those at home or whether they exist at all. Also, I would never have guessed that she would seriously do something so vile. I believed that she was a bit unstable because she is convinced that Lady Valerian made you break off all contact with her. But to think she would use such methods and frame me...” She held her hand to her mouth and allowed a few tears to drip down her cheeks. As always, her performance was flawless.

It seemed like some of Jenna's fear had disappeared, probably because the others were aware that she wasn't at fault. The new emotion that she had to hide beneath her facade was wrath though. After all, Camille had wanted to sacrifice her for something like this. It shouldn't have been surprising, but Jenna was upset anyway.

Theodore was way more upset though. That wasn't a pretty sight. The fact that Blanche next to him had a similar expression probably didn't make this more pleasant for Jenna either. Certainly, the emperor's and the empress' hatred wouldn't do that woman any good.

Cedar couldn't say that he pitied her. Lady Peril deserved this for being stupid enough to conspire with the emperor's enemies. In the end, Theodore wouldn't kill her for this, but her future might not look too bright either. Cedar didn't care, and he wouldn't get involved. He just took a short moment to smile at his lover.

Lucille looked like she was absolutely petrified. She didn't know what exactly was going on, but she had pieced together everything important. And the conclusion both scared her and filled her with anger. She stared at Lady Peril in disbelief before lifting her head to look at her lover.

Cedar used that chance to pat her head for a moment. They wouldn't have to sit here for much longer.

Theodore would use this chance to order a thorough investigation of the Peril household. Every crime they might have committed would be found out and drag them down a bit more. Even if they hadn't done anything, Theodore wouldn't give up this chance to eliminate one of the dowager empress' allies. However, right now, the emperor didn't look like he was too pleased about being able to use this incident to harm his enemies. He only seemed to be fuming.

Theodore watched Lady Peril until she got uncomfortable again. “I hope this is the truth. If something else is found out during the investigation, you will not like the result. My advisor will deal with this matter, and I can assure you that it will be in your best interest that he is convinced of your innocence by the end of this. Until you are proven to be innocent, you will be under surveillance, and all of your servants will be questioned as well. We need to find the person who put that drug inside the glass. A group of royal guards will stay here to ensure that no evidence disappears. Starting from tomorrow, a real investigation will take place.”

Most nobles would have complained because they refused to let an outsider into their homes, feared for their reputation or wished to hide their crimes.

But Lady Peril just hurriedly nodded. “Of course, Your Majesty! Please investigate as thoroughly as possible so that I can be cleared of these accusations. Because I, as a devoted subject of the royal family, would never have dared to drug any of my guests, especially not His Royal Highness. Please forgive me for not being able to prevent this incident. I cannot make up for it, but I will support you as much as possible during the investigation. I will do my best to help you find the perpetrator!”

Theodore just stood up. “It would be beneficial for you if we manage to find a servant who can tell us who ordered them to do it. If not, you will not like what the court has in store for you. Lady Peril, you are under house arrest until the situation is resolved. Try to find evidence that will make me believe that the dowager empress got involved here.” In other words, there would be guards to prevent any assassins from slipping in while Jenna revealed everything she knew about Camille's crimes. She would be left unharmed as long as she managed to incriminate the dowager empress.

Lady Peril nodded again and wiped away some of her tears. “I will find evidence to prove my innocence. You can rely on me, Your Majesty.” She sobbed quietly before turning her gaze toward the prince. “Your Royal Highness, I know that it is hard to believe me. But I swear that I never had the intention to harm you in any way. I would never give you something as horrible as that. I would never! Please believe me. I'm so sorry that something this terrible happened in my house. I should have been more careful. But I wasn't the person that did this!” Did she still try to gain sympathy by crying and apologizing like this? Or did she really not want to be known as someone who would use such methods?

Cedar didn't care much. He knew that his mother was responsible, and to be honest, he was already fuming because of that. But he wouldn't get angry while Lucille was sitting next to him. He would rather leave the investigation to his brother and Leon and focus on staying out of trouble. As long as he knew that his mother hadn't given up on drugging him, he needed to remain cautious. “The investigation will show everything, Lady Peril. Whether you are guilty or not will be confirmed quickly. I don't doubt that you are aware of what this will mean for you. I am specifically referring to you being acquainted with the responsible person. You do remember the former Duke of Vasquez, correct? Think about his demise and then think twice about whether you should trust specific people. We will take our leave now.” He stood up slowly after giving Lucille a chance to let go of him.

Lucille jumped to her feet a moment later. Her face showed a mix of resignation and anger. She couldn't even keep herself from glaring at Jenna, who was still crying, for a moment.

Cedar quickly wrapped an arm around his lover and carefully guided her out of the room. He ignored the quiet sobbing in the background and choked down the anger that was bubbling in his stomach. He didn't want to think about what could have happened if this stupid plan had succeeded at all. If, for some reason, he had been careless enough to drink this, there would have been a corpse in the room with him a moment later. That would not have ended prettily.

Lucille definitely wouldn't have seen him as the kind man she viewed him as now anymore. And then his mother would have won.

Cedar didn't doubt that he would lose his mind if Lucille suddenly hated him after he finally fell in love. It was scary to know how much he depended on her. So, he was more than relieved to have spared her some ugly sight because he lost his temper. And he definitely would have lost his temper if he had realized that he had been drugged.

Imagining a sensation that kept him from thinking clearly and overcame all of his emotions was horrifying. Not only because it would remind him of his past breakdowns but mainly because of that. It was good that he hadn't drunk that liquid. Otherwise, he would have hurt Lady Peril for sure.

They left the room, and a moment later, some royal guards went inside, most likely to protect any evidence.

Theodore and Blanche were waiting in the hallway and were already busy cuddling. The emperor held his wife so tightly in his arms that it looked like he was almost crushing her. She desperately tried to calm him down, but he was too furious to listen to her.

Cedar considered staying quiet, but he couldn't help it. He needed to ask one thing. “I'm surprised you recognized that drug immediately. You aren't the type to deal with things like this at all.” Theodore had only needed the smell to find out what it was, so he had to have some kind of experience with it.

Blanche was the one who responded instead though. “Cedar, please don't ask about that. It's...a long story. He recognized it, and that is all we need to discuss.” She sounded like she was actually worried, and that made the prince give up.

Cedar quickly replied. “I understand. I won't mention it again, I apologize.” He was pretty sure that his brother was busy with other matters now, so he focused on Lucille. She still seemed to be speechless, so he offered her his hand. She immediately took it and squeezed him so tightly that it seemed odd in comparison to her usual gentle touch. But Cedar didn't get the chance to address that.

Theodore already spoke while trying to hold back the rising anger in his voice. “You're awfully quiet today. Shouldn't you have threatened her already? You normally are so good at intimidating people.”

Cedar met his brother's gaze and shrugged. “I could stay silent because it seems like you are angrier than I am. You are intimidating enough, believe me.” And he might have been a bit too upset about the prospect of someone making Lucille hate him. He hadn't wanted to risk showing her how panicked he was when he worried about her leaving him.

Theodore gritted his teeth and glared at the wall. “You should be much angrier. That damned woman wanted to drug you. That disgusting...”

Cedar replied with a bright smile, which probably betrayed that he was, in fact, rather upset. “I would never have consumed anything Lady Peril offered to me in private. There was no threat. And you should know that I'm rather quick to notice if something clouds my mind. I am used to trying to pick up any kind of emotional instability, so I would run away immediately if I had been stupid enough to drink it.” After all, he had trained himself to hold back his emotions because he had needed to keep his breakdowns in check. “I was never in danger here. And this was just the same plot she tried a while ago. She already wanted someone to give me some drug before, remember?”

Theodore only got more angry while he averted his eyes. He muttered some things, which most likely weren't kind words, under his breath.

Cedar didn't listen to that though. He was already focused on something else.

Lucille moved all of a sudden and threw her arms around him. She used much more force than normal and held onto him as if she was scared that he would run away. She sniffled a bit while hiding her face by resting her forehead against his chest. Even her voice sounded like she was crying. “Why would she do that? Something so horrible?”

Cedar quickly returned the hug and gently stroked over her back. “Everything is fine. I didn't drink it, and Lady Peril wasn't the one to plan it. She didn't know about that drug. She is a good actress but not this good. I presume Mother arranged this, as Lady Peril said.”

Lucille's fingers dug into the fabric of his attire while she nuzzled her face into him. “I heard that. But why? If Lady Peril did that because you keep on rejecting her, it would make sense. But why would your own mother want this to happen?” She was too innocent. She really didn't understand how Camille could wish to harm her son.

But Cedar was used to his mother's vile plots. He could come up with a hundred different outcomes that all could have helped Camille. “It could be like when she asked Reeve to drug me. Of course, I can't guess what she is thinking. Her mind is too complex for a sane person to understand. But if I had to tell you what she might think, I would assume that she wanted me to blame Lady Peril. If that woman had truly drugged me, I wouldn't have reacted kindly to finding it out afterward. It might have...gotten rather ugly. And I guess that Mother wanted you to see that. She wants you to leave me because you are scared of me.” Or Camille would have liked him to drink it before being alone with Lucille in hopes that he would lose his temper and hurt her, just so that his lover would hate him after that too. For that reason, Lady Peril could have offered them to stay. That would have been the most vile option.

Lucille lifted her head and looked up at him with an expression that hurt to see. She was crying quietly with some tears running down her reddened face. She seemed so uncertain that her voice cracked, and yet, she spoke with so much rage when she opened her mouth. “She wants me to be scared of you so that I'd turn away? She still tries to use that stupid plot? Does she really believe that I would hate you because of something she caused?” It wouldn't be strange for her to hate a person who hurt her, even if that person's mind had been influenced by some medicine.

Cedar rested his forehead against hers while he did his best to console her. “Yes. Maybe because she could remind me that only she can deal with my ugly side or something like that. When I snap, it's never pretty.”

Lucille pressed her lips into a line and held back the first thoughts in her mind. She just focused on breathing calmly a few times and holding on to her lover. She didn't want to cry, but she seemed to find it hard to stop at the moment. So, she took a few seconds before she responded. “But it wouldn't be your fault. If someone drugs you, that gives you the right to become really upset.” She could only say that because she didn't know what becoming upset had meant to Cedar in the past.

He still remembered how he had lost all self-control because of some of his stupid triggers. Then it had felt like a haze overcame his mind and took over all of his thoughts until he couldn't focus on anything else while the desire to destroy filled him. There was only one reason Cedar could deal with that anger now. He had spent a lot of time, especially the first months in confinement, meditating while purposefully reminding himself of some of his weaknesses. After a while, he had been able to control his fury completely so that he didn't have to be scared of harming innocent people around him anymore.

At the same time, it had also helped Cedar improve his self-control in general. That had led to him being better at acting, which he had already learned as a child to please his mother, and being able to ignore his feelings almost completely. It had taken months and hours of training each day to reach that level. So, he hoped that a simple drug wouldn't be enough to ruin all of that.

Cedar smiled at his lover as he turned his head to look at her from a more pleasant angle. “I didn't drink it, so it's fine. But even if I did, I would have managed, I presume. I am good at holding back my emotions. I would have ignored the drug for a few minutes to get away to a private spot. Or I would have been able to control myself despite something like this. I can take some-”

Theodore cut him off with way too much bitterness in his voice. “Not that. That drug would have knocked you out within five minutes. You would only have woken up the next morning with absolutely no memory of what happened that night. I can't believe that disgusting woman...” He choked down some insults and buried his face in his wife's shoulder.

Blanche tried her best to distract him by stroking over his head. She held him close and whispered to him for a moment. Then she spoke up in a louder voice. “It would be best if we leave now. The carriage is prepared. We will quickly instruct the guards, and then we will follow you. Will you go downstairs already?” She asked for privacy, so there was no way that they could deny it.

Cedar nodded. “Take your time. Lucille and I will go ahead already.” He carefully put a hand on his lover's cheek to caress her skin. “Let's go to the carriage. We can continue to talk there.”

Lucille didn't seem like she wanted to loosen her embrace, but she nodded. She forced herself to let go, but she still insisted on clinging to his arm. She seemed to have gotten used to doing that instead of being embarrassed by now. And if it was her, it was completely fine.

Cedar liked escorting her. He would have liked it more if the situation was calmer and if she wasn't crying, but he couldn't do anything but try to console her now. And he would rather do that when they were alone. So, he led her downstairs.

He gave his best to shield her from the guests' inquiring looks without making it too obvious. They crossed the ballroom and quickly reached the other side, where the exit was. They left and entered the carriage. Cedar informed the guards that the royal couple would follow in a short moment before closing the door. Now he and Lucille were alone and could talk for a moment.

Lucille immediately used that chance to hug him again. She was silent for a minute before she spoke in a weak voice. “You can rely on me not turning away from you. If she drugged you and you did something bad, I would know that it isn't your fault.” So, she was still trying to reassure him. It was almost like she could guess that her rejection could easily crush him.

Cedar carefully ran his fingers through her hair. He would have liked to end the conversation here, but she deserved a clear response. “But that doesn't mean that you would be able to forgive me for hurting you. I don't want to know what kind of sadistic plan my mother could come up with. But in any case, I will stay clear of any drugs that could cloud my judgment. I don't want to hurt you nor do I want to hurt anyone else and make you see that. I will find a way to get you out of harm's way, even if I end up being drugged.”

Lucille nodded but still rested her head against his shoulder. “I know. But if something really bad ever happens, I will know that it's not because you wanted to do it. I will know that it was because of that drug. So, I wouldn't be upset or hurt or turn away from you. Because I care about you with my whole heart.” Even at this moment, she seemed to know exactly what he needed to hear.

Cedar already cared too much. If Lucille looked at him with fear or disgust, it wouldn't be good for his mental health at all. He knew that he had danced around the border to insanity thanks to his lovely mother quite a few times, and sometimes, he had probably crossed it already. But being without Lucille after he had tasted how wonderful his life could be might really tip him over to the wrong side soon. And yet, she said such innocent things to him without knowing what he was capable of. “You think too kindly of me. I already did horrible things while being aware of what I was doing.” After all, helping his mother for years had hurt so many people.

Lucille couldn't know the extent of that, but she should have a general idea. And still, she leaned against him like this and wrapped her arms around him tightly. “You are a good person, Cedar. Even if you can't see it, I can. You don't have to worry about me ever leaving you because that horrible woman wants to bring us apart. I love you.” There those words were again.

This time, they didn't make Cedar feel like he would faint, but they still made his breath hitch. He felt his heart skip a beat and tightened his hold on Lucille while leaning forward to kiss her forehead. He wanted to say it back. But his past connection with that sentence and his uncertainty about someone like him even being able to love made it hard. Not yet. He couldn't quite do it yet. But he could say it back in his way. “You are the most important person in my life. I will do everything I can to protect you. Everything.”