Synth

“I hate how scared you look,” Avery said, “So I’ll make this clear as I possibly can since you end up being a giant dummy half the time. I can’t believe I have to say this…” Avery sighed as they looked over TO, watching their ears and the way their wings tightened around their arms. “TO, there’s nothing you could ever do that would make me want you out of the pod.”

TO’s ears flushed, and they stammered out potentialities that might drive Avery to do so, but DH interrupted them, “Honestly TO, why didn’t you tell me you were worried about that? I’d have told you that Avery wouldn’t want you gone. None of us would!” They scoffed. “You think I’d even let that happen?”

“That was half the problem!” TO protested. “I know that if anything like that ever happened, you wouldn’t ‘let’ it happen! You’d fight against it and if I had to leave, you’d leave with me, and then you’d be all alone except for me. I didn’t want to risk you losing everyone else.”

“Oh, but you think I’d be just fine losing you?” DH huffed and looked away. “Avery’s right. You are a giant dummy.” They frowned, “no, that’s not strong enough.” They frowned, their ears flicking back in concentration.

“DH, that’s really not important right now,” TO said, their ears flicking parallel.

“Hmm,. I think it is. TO me anyway.” DH said, “I think I want to go with ‘black hole brain’. See, I know you’re really smart, but I suppose sometimes there’s a black hole in your head, which sucks in all your intelligence and makes you an idiot.”

“And that’s all irrelevant, anyway.” Avery said as they struggled not to laugh. “Nobody wants you gone.”

The only response that TO could come up with for that was “Well… GiDi might.”

DH huffed and crossed their arms, their wings puffing out slightly. “Honestly, I don’t know why they’re acting like this.”

“Because I-“

“Yes, yes,” DH said, waving away what TO was going to say, “All the so-called awful things you’ve done.”

“Hey! You said that what I did to Mark-“

“You didn’t do anything to Mark.” DH interjected.

“Changed how you looked at me-“

“I didn’t mean it like that!” DH said as their ears flicked back, now flushing as well. “Yes, it changed how I thought about you because I didn’t think you could go for someone like that! I didn’t think you’d ever go to draw blood-“

“Oh, I did,” Avery said as they nursed another sip of juice. “You should have seen them back when we were heading into the underground to rescue you. I think if they had the opportunity, they’d have torn apart any insurgent between you and them with their bare hands.”

TO’s eyes went big, their ears low, “That’s different, I thought that they were going to hurt-“

“And you knew that Kei would have hurt GiDi. They were going to.” Avery looked aside. “I’m just… I’m sorry I froze. Back then, I mean. When we first went into the sewers to find DH. I’m sorry I didn’t stop them.”

“That’s not important.” TO said.

“It is! It’s-“ Avery gave a huff, and shook their head. “Ok. Just stop, and let me talk, ok?”

The beeping on the machines increased, and DH looked over them with their ears flicked back with concern. “Maybe we should wait.” DH said, “I don’t want you getting over-excited right now.”

“No!” Avery said, the beeping increasing further, “I’m going to deal with this now!” Avery’s eyes were open wide in panic, their ears twitching rapidly as they clutched at the thin blanket which lay draped over their lap.

“… Alright.” DH said after a moment, sitting down next to them. “Go ahead. Tell us what you need to.”

Avery nodded and took a few breaths to calm themself. Slowly, the beeping gained its steady pace and DH’s anxious gaze softened.

“Alright.” They said. They looked up at TO, “TO. First: I’d never want you out of the pod. I don’t know if I should be offended that you’d actually worry that, or flattered that you think I could kick you out even if I wanted to.”

“You’re the Ankyra.” TO said, “You-“

“I said to let me talk!” Avery snapped. “Look… yes, I am. That makes sense, I think. And I’m happy to know that I am, that I might be. I’m glad to know why I don’t…” They glanced at DH, then looked down, “Why I don’t have feelings for anyone like you do for DH, or GiDi does for Pearla. When I found out that all our brains are unaltered… I doubted it, since I don’t have those feelings for anyone. I figured there must be something done to my mind, but Flit and Snout gave me the books, and said I was probably something called an Ankyra.” They looked back up at TO, “But I don’t know anything about that. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I mean, I can tell the two of you when you’re being idiots, but aside from that…”

“As though calling TO out for being an idiot isn't an important duty.” DH said.

“Well, from what I understand, you were twice the idiot back in training. The only difference was that you talked to GiDi about it, not me.” they shook their head, “I don’t know if someone is born to be an Ankyra, or not. I don’t know if someone is just born asexual, and that makes them the Ankyra, or if they’re asexual because they’re an Ankyra. I don’t even know if I’m actually asexual, but I don’t have any interest in people like that, and I have no idea what I’m supposed to do as an Ankyra!” The beeping quickened again, and once more Avery took several long breaths, falling silent until the beeping slowed again. When it did, they looked up to TO again. “You’re a better Ankyra than I am. You’re the one who’s always fixing things, always looking out for everyone. You worked so hard to keep everyone together in training, even though it was impossible.”

TO wanted to protest, and the words were on their tongue just as both Avery and DH gave them a stern look, making them swallow the words quietly.

“…And besides all that.” They said, “Everything that happened, everything with Mark and Kei, that’s not your fault.”

“I know it’s not my fault.” TO muttered, “But I could have done better.”

“I could have done better.” DH hissed, “So could GiDi, and Tham... It’s not your fault, it’s Kei’s.”

“Kei’s… and mine.” Avery said, their ears dropping. “When you told me everything that was going on, with you and GiDi, and when you told me about Mark, I wasn’t sure then if it was a weird dream or not, but it didn’t matter. I wanted to tell you what happened. I wanted to tell you that none of it was your fault!” the beeping increased, and their grip tightened on the blankets, “All of it was my fault.”

“No, it was Kei’s fault!” DH said, groaning. “What is it with the two of you? First TO blames themself for it all, and now you’re saying it’s your fault.” they sighed, “What, because you begged us to bring them with us? Because you didn’t want them killed?”

“You’re not to blame for that.” TO said as they sat down on the edge of the bed. “You were being kind. Far kinder than Kei deserved, and they turned around and attacked you for it. That’s not your fault, It’s there’s.” They huffed, “Well, theirs, and Outis’”

“Wait, who?” Avery asked, their ears twitching outwards, “Outis?”

“I met them in the indebted center.” TO said, “When I got to Kei’s room, I saw that the cameras were covered in this black slime, and it’s one that Outis had used before to escape from us back on Arkane. They used that to disable half the cameras in the sewers, so we couldn’t track where Kei was. Once Kei took off their chip, we couldn’t track them at all.”

“Exactly.” DH said, “The worst thing you did was go and see them, but that’s not a bad thing, you know?” They took Avery’s hand in their own. “That was you being kind.”

“And they used that to throw us all into disarray.” TO huffed, “They attacked you, nearly killed you for the crime of just visiting them, then tried to kill me, DH, GiDi…“ DH made a motion with their hand, trying to tell TO to stop. As TO looked at Avery, they saw how low their ears were sinking. “But.. that’s not your fault!” TO said, “That’s entirely on them. What did you do that was so bad that you’d blame yourself, anyway? You tried to keep them alive! You’re not to blame for that.”

“You know.” DH said, their ears twitching in slight amusement, “It’s absolutely fascinating how you can be so clear-minded when it comes to others, but so dense when it comes to yourself.”

“We’re not talking about me right now!” TO tried to ignore the sudden burn of their ears, “We’re talking about Avery, and Avery did nothing wrong!”

“I should have listened to you from the start,” they said, “About Kei.”

“You just wanted to protect them!” TO insisted. “And that makes sense, especially with the whole Ankyra bonding thing.” They glanced aside. “You spent enough time with them. You’d have felt something for them.” They groaned, rubbing their forehead, “And as much as I despise them, if their brain wasn’t altered as it was, I bet they would have softened towards you after being on the ship for so long.”

“But they didn’t.” Avery said. “They had an altered mind, were loyal to King Decon, and stayed loyal even after the procedure.” They shook their head and looked down at the blanket in their hands, and seemed surprised to see claw marks in the fabric. Flexing their hands to force the muscles to relax, they continued, “I should have seen that or at least I should have believed you, TO.” They shook their head. “I wanted them to change. We gave them a chance, and they almost killed the two of you for it. And what did I do? I wanted to give them another chance.”

“Again, you were kind.” DH said, We’re not blaming you for that. And besides, we all agreed to bringing them with us in the end. Besides, the alternative was killing them.” They shrugged, their wings tightening against their arms. “I didn’t even want that.”

“I know.” Avery said, “But that’s not why I’m at fault.” they took a deep breath, and without looking up from the invisible spot on the blanket which they stared at with an impressive ferocity they said, “It’s my fault because I set them free.”