She is the Third Kind of Stunning

Chapter 15 – Ferryman

“Doctor Jane, don’t be angry with me.”

The smell of the hospital is not good. The aunts in the ward clean up very diligently, and there is always a pungent smell of disinfectant in the air.

The distance between them is very close, and there is no clear and cold fragrance on Jian Qing’s body, only a faint smell of alcohol rushing into the nostrils.

Lu Yinxi raised his head slightly, looked straight into Jian Qing’s calm eyes, put his hands behind her waist, and touched the solid white coat with his palms, his body under the white coat froze, and his back tensed instantly.

Jian Qing’s lips moved, but before the words came out, Lu Yinxi let go of his hand voluntarily, as if he had been electrocuted.

The hospital is not a clean environment, and the seemingly clean work clothes may be covered with various germs.

She remembered that Jian Qing was a bit obsessed with cleanliness, afraid of being pushed away mercilessly like last time.

Not only that, Lu Yinxi’s ears felt warm, and a strange feeling suddenly rose in his heart.

The waist hug feels so wrong.

Occasionally, she would hug her friend’s waist and play coquettishly, but she never felt such an electric shock-like feeling. The nerve endings seemed to be countless times more sensitive, and the unfamiliar touch was infinitely magnified, and her heartbeat speeded up.

Jian Qing watched Lu Yinxi withdraw his hand, pursed his lips, his eyes were calm: “I’m not angry.”

After getting along for so long, Lu Yinxi also figured out the temperament of the person in front of him, and retorted softly: “You are not angry and you still ignore him all afternoon?”

There was still a little grievance in his tone.

Jian Qing looked away, not looking at her, and said softly, “Are you a three-year-old? Do you need me to coax you with candy and pay attention to you all the time?”

Lu Yinxi was silent for a moment, moved his footsteps, and brought himself back into Jian Qing’s line of sight: “It’s fine if you don’t want to pay attention to me, I don’t care about it, but there is a patient who needs your special attention.”

In the hospital, Jian Qing paid more attention to work than to individuals, automatically ignored the first half of Lu Yinxi’s sentence, and asked, “Who?”

Before Lu Yinxi could answer, Jian Qing looked around: “Go back to the office and talk.”

Lu Yinxi followed Jian Qing back to the office, sat in the corner, and said in a low voice: “Ms. Zhao has a tendency to commit suicide, so the doctors, nurses and nurses should pay attention to it, don’t put sharp objects in the ward, don’t leave her alone , look closely.”

Jian Qing habitually squeezed the hand sanitizer to wash her hands, rubbed her hands and asked, “When did you find out?”

“Just now, I was chatting with her, and we had a good time. She suddenly said that she wanted to die. When I heard it, my heart skipped a beat, and I didn’t know how to comfort her. I am actively receiving treatment, talking and laughing with everyone, last time I heard her telling the patient in the next bed to look away…”

Jian Qing rubbed the center of her eyebrows, and sighed inaudibly: “I will call everyone’s attention.”

After working in the hospital for a long time, I almost always witness the suicide of patients.

Especially for patients with advanced tumors, there is no hope of cure, and they all tend to be depressed and anxious. Those negative emotions will reduce their compliance, thus affecting the treatment effect. The patient has been depressed and desperate for a long time, fearing that he will become a burden to the family and bring down others, so he easily chooses to commit suicide.

If a patient is directly showing sleep disturbance, bipolar irritability, or prolonged depression, it is easy to spot and intervene.

But some patients can’t see it without in-depth conversations. They talk and laugh happily on the surface, fearless about life and death, giving the family members and medical staff an illusion of active treatment, but in fact they are just forced to smile.

If no one is aware of the inner world of such patients, they may go to self-destruction, jump off a building, cut their wrists, swallow medicine…and end their lives in various painful ways.

Lu Yinxi looked down at his toes.

This kind of death does not solve the problems, it only takes away some problems and creates new ones.

The patient’s choice is complete, thinking that it has lightened the burden on the family, but in fact it will bring another level of shadow that is difficult to get rid of, and even the doctors and nurses in charge will fall into self-blame and defeat, and the sense of dereliction of duty will be firmly lingering in their hearts , forcing people to sleep all night.

Lu Yinxi raised his head, looked at Jian Qing’s face, and asked, “Hey, you seem to be depressed?”

There was no expression on Jian Qing’s face, but Lu Yinxi accurately interpreted her emotional changes.

Lu Yinxi gently tugged at the corner of her clothes, and said comfortingly: “Don’t be depressed, you will pay attention to it when you have experience in the future. Teacher Zhao hides it so well. If she doesn’t say it, it’s really hard for others to see it. Moreover, some Patients will be afraid of doctors, just like students will be nervous when they see their teachers, and they dare not speak much, let alone say what is in their hearts.”

During these days in the oncology department, Lu Yinxi noticed that patients and family members never dared to talk to Jian Qing about their parents.

Jian Qing’s face looks young and beautiful, but it is always cold, and there is no emotion in his eyes, except seriousness.

Some family members were obviously older than Jian Qing by several rounds. During the ward rounds, they saw her standing up obediently and listening to the doctor’s orders like a student seeing a teacher.

Lu Yinxi continued to comfort Jian Qing with a gentle voice: “I’m not a real doctor, so I can be more friendly, make friends with them, and talk about my heart. If doctors are like me, it may be less than two years. I will have a psychological breakdown and quit my job.

One of our experts said that curing diseases and saving lives is like crossing a river with one’s back on one’s back. So I think a doctor can’t be a soft sponge that absorbs negative emotions. If you want to carry someone across the river, you must first ensure that you can’t be drowned, right? “

Keeping a distance from patients is a form of self-protection.

In other departments, doctors can get close to patients and even make friends with patients, but the oncology department is a department that does not have a sense of success in healing. Many patients are destined to die. The deeper the doctor’s affection, the easier it is for the patient to feel Painfully frustrated, powerless.

Lu Yinxi used to be a person who carried people across the river, but was drowned by the river. Now, she doesn’t want to see anyone end up like her.

Jian Qing looked at her, with a faint smile in his eyes, he couldn’t help reaching out and rubbing her head: “You talk a lot.”

Bababa talking non-stop.

Lu Yinxi gently waved Jian Qing’s hand away, and snorted: “I’ll comfort you, but you still think I’m long-winded, so I’ll ignore you.”

She turned her head and stopped talking.

Jian Qing rubbed her head again, without saying anything, turned on the computer in front of her, logged into the doctor’s workstation, and clicked on the patient’s medical records.

Lu Yinxi waited for a while, but before Jian Qing could comfort her, she let out another cold snort in a low voice.

Jian Qing turned her head, glanced at Lu Yinxi, still said nothing, but raised the corners of her lips and smiled slightly.

Accustomed to her coldness, seeing her smile so suddenly, Lu Yinxi couldn’t look away, and couldn’t help but want to imprint her smiling eyebrows and eyes in his heart, and firmly remember them.

After a while, he couldn’t help but whispered fiercely to her: “You’re laughing at me again, why are you laughing? What’s so funny…”

Jian Qing shook her head, held back her faint smile, and started working seriously.

Lu Yinxi didn’t think too much about it, and thought about her smile for a while, unconsciously raised the corners of her lips, covered her heart, wondering if she should take an electrocardiogram, the recent heartbeat frequency seems to be not quite right.

After thinking about it, I realized that it was working time, so my thoughts went back to medical treatment.

From the current point of view, Jian Qing is not a good person in the traditional sense, but she is a good doctor, with good medical ethics and skills.

She couldn’t remember whether the 24-bed Mrs. Zhao had a role in the original book or whether it would affect Jian Qing.

However, based on her experience, it can be inferred that if a patient commits suicide in a hospital, if the doctor in charge does not detect it in advance, there is a high probability that the family members will bring it to the medical department, or directly sue it in court.

Even if the doctor has no medical fault, out of humanitarianism, the hospital will still choose to compensate and apologize, and let the matter go.

If Mr. Zhao really chooses to commit suicide, Mr. Zhou who has been accompanying and taking care of him may not make trouble, but Mr. Zhao’s family members may not be sure.

Severely ill patients without family members are often high-risk factors for doctor-patient disputes. Once such seriously ill patients die in the hospital, those family members who have never met may appear in the ward together, slapping the table, shouting, Grabbing the doctor’s collar for an explanation.

In the real world, sometimes, doctors in some hospitals dare not treat such patients.

Jian Qing took a huge risk in treating such patients.

Lu Yinxi didn’t know if he was interfering with the direction of the plot by doing this, but he couldn’t sit idly by because of emotion and reason.

This virtual world is too real. Those patients are real people, not tool people revolving around the protagonist. In the corners that have not been described by the author, they will also show their emotions and life trajectories.

Even if it’s not for Jian Qing, but just for a sick old man, she will intervene.

Lu Yinxi moved closer to Jian Qing again, and asked, “Doctor Jian, will you tell Teacher Zhou about this?”

“meeting.”

“Ms. Zhao told me not to tell Mr. Zhou, she was afraid that Mr. Zhou would be sad.”

“It has to be said that she is an escort, and she must be informed to accompany her 24 hours a day.”

If the obligation of disclosure is not fulfilled, the doctor shall bear certain responsibilities.

“I know.” Lu Yinxi sighed in a low voice, “I was just thinking, Teacher Zhao doesn’t want to make Teacher Zhou sad, but Teacher Zhou must know, she will be sad if she knows, maybe she doesn’t want Teacher Zhao to know that she is sad , I just pretended not to know that I wasn’t sad, and when I thought about it, I felt embarrassed.”

Jian Qing was a little dizzy from being surrounded by her, and didn’t understand what kind of embarrassment there was, so he said coldly: “Then don’t think about it.”

Lu Yinxi choked for a moment, and was about to refute that some empathy is uncontrollable, but then thought that Jian Qing might already be immune to it.

Medical workers, when they first step into the clinic, are the softest-hearted, full of enthusiasm, want to save lives and heal the wounded, want to treat every patient kindly, have not experienced unreasonable doubts and abuse, have not suffered harm, betrayal, farmers and snakes, and will serve the patients Weep, weep for the misery of the world.

Later, when I got used to the coldness and warmth of human relationships, I lost my innocence, and after a lot of hard work, I learned to guard against, keep a distance, restrain my emotions, and not empathize, and became a serious and indifferent “white coat” in the eyes of others.

I don’t know what Jian Qing was like when she stepped into the clinic? Will the eyes be red for the patient?

Lu Yinxi couldn’t imagine what this ice cube looked like with red eyes, she looked cold and restrained.

But he continued to pick up the topic: “Hey, did you cry when you first got out of the clinic?”

Jian Qing was typing on the computer, and took time to glance at Lu Yinxi: “Crying? You thought I was you.”

Hmph, I was mocked coldly by this man again.

Lu Yinxi turned his head and fell into silence

But it was indeed true. When she was just a trainee, when she heard the family members crying miserably, she couldn’t help but get red eyes.

Her empathy ability is too strong, and she can easily substitute for various emotions.

It is an advantage and sometimes a disadvantage.

She looked up at a red slogan embedded on the office wall—

【Sometimes, to heal; often, to help; always, to comfort. 】

This is the truest portrayal of oncology.

In the field of tumors, the sense of achievement of doctors never comes from the cure of saving lives, but prolonging the life of every cancer patient and relieving the pain of every patient.

She was also full of enthusiasm and devoted herself to it. Later, her dreams were shattered by reality, and all ideals and ambitions became extravagant hopes.

She ran away.

Jian Qing seldom talks and doesn’t like small talk. When chatting with Lu Yinxi, she will be more patient than usual. Seeing Lu Yinxi huddled in a corner and shutting herself up, she thought that the child was unhappy being ridiculed, and explained seriously: “Clinical needs Calm-headed, professional judgement, not emotional, it will affect the diagnosis and treatment work.” Speaking of this, he shook his head slightly, “Wei Mingming’s heart is too soft, and when a patient leaves, he will hide from me and cry.”

Lu Yinxi pulled away from the silence, and personally attacked Jian Qing: “Maybe it’s because I’m afraid that you will scold others, you are so fierce.”

Jian Qing raised her eyebrows slightly: “I’m fierce?”

Lu Yinxi nodded: “Very fierce.”

In fact, she is not fierce, but occasionally she is a bit mean-spirited, teases and ridicules people, and there is a hint of gloom when she is silent. The children cry out of fear when they see her. From the outside, she is definitely not a kind person.

It’s worthy of being the one who takes the script of the villain.

Jian Qing ignored the kid’s naive personal attack, stood up and found a stack of information and threw it to Lu Yinxi: “Wait for me to come back and ask questions.” After speaking, he planned to go to the nurse’s station, ask the head nurse to explain, and pay special attention to the patient’s condition .

Lu Yinxi groaned, and obediently looked down at the information.

When Jian Qing turned to leave, she lowered her head and touched her pocket, and took out some toffee.

Thinking of my cold words before—

“You are a three-year-old child, do you need me to coax you with candy and pay attention to you all the time?”

Jian Qing looked at the toffee, then at Lu Yinxi, who was concentrating on memorizing the materials, and while she was not paying attention, secretly stuffed the toffee into the pocket of her white coat, then turned and left as if nothing had happened.