“This Tragic Pizza of Exam Humiliations” (49.2)
To get a passing grade on the fake void monster dissection dealie, we each had to make at least one incision and remove an organ. Dr. Diast told us the creation was made mostly of corn starch, but that didn’t help the gross factor, especially for me having had one splatter all over myself. Each of the organs looked like little gummy candies.
“I have practiced this lab extensively with the help of my older sister,” Lillia explained when we were all a bit blown away by her perfect cuts of the fake monster. “The rest should be fairly direct.”
“As long as nobody drops it again,” Kalei said. I elbowed her, but she just laughed it off.
“Thanks for the help, Lillia,” Oka said. “I fear how this would go if you weren’t here.”
“It’s a group effort,” Lillia said. “As long as you gain some knowledge from this, and accomplish the required tasks, I don’t mind handling the rest. It’s…rather fun. In its own way.” She blushed a bit at that.
Oka went next, cutting out an organ and placing it on a paper plate. She used three different eye droppers on it, noting any effects on our worksheet. Then she got to use a toothpick sized bloodsaber to poke it, which deflated the organ and left it in a gross puddle.
“You think Diast would let us use some of these for our movie?” Kalei asked during her turn.
"I don't know if a camera would pick up something this small." Oka said, holding up one of the tiny little bloodsaber needles.
"Not those, the gummy!" Kalei said.
“Would we even want to?” Lillia asked.
“Sure, if we’re fighting void monsters and want some guys to smash up.”
“As long as I am far enough away from them going splat all over me again, sure.” I said.
I had the last round, my tail nervously flicking about as I imagined all the ways pulling a nebulous goopy sphere out of what looked to be a pillow shaped bug made of corn starch would result in it falling over and messing up another set of clothes.
“Nurse, hand me the scalpel,” I said as I passed a little knife from hand to hand. I chuckled to myself, picturing how the mysterious River Kathron said the same thing to her adorable little dino pet in that vision.
I couldn’t help but think about River a lot. I didn’t want to assume she was a family member that was a big hero; I’d already been burned daydreaming too much about my parents being heroes after learning my first bit of info about them. The rest of the info I had learned about my parents obviously soured that initial image.
To play it safe, I allowed myself to think that River seemed really cool jumping off that big statue, and that her pet Rewen was super cute. That way, if River turned out to be a ginormous jerk like my parents, at least I didn’t get too invested. And thinking about River’s elegant dive off of a giant statue weirdly helped me focus. I didn’t have a cute plastic looking dinosaur pet with me, but I did have my girlfriend and some of my closest friends with me.
“Great work,” Diast said as she approached our area. Everyone’s lab looked like a watercolor painting project had gone horribly awry. “Just a couple of questions then you guys are all set.”
“Bring it!” Oka said. “That was maybe a bit too aggressive, sorry.”
“No, I like the enthusiasm.” Diast said. “First up, can you describe the process here?”
“We removed the organs of the artificial void monster,” Lillia said. “Then tested the reactions of each individual part to the three solvents to show the effects of various weather conditions and other possible substances that can affect a monster. Additionally, we utilized a miniature bloodsaber to see which organ would react quickest to the damage, as void monsters typically have a weak point that takes out the entire beast.”
“Well, dang,” Diast said. “That…covered all my questions. Does the rest of the group get it or was it just Lillia?”
“I made sure they understood, but feel free to ask them as well.” Lillia said, brushing a hand through her hair to put a slightly dramatic stamp on her statement.
Once we had all proved we did understand our lab, Diast asked if we had any questions.
“Has anyone ever fought with one of these?” Kalei said, holding up the mini bloodsaber of sorts.
“Probably, but I wouldn’t recommend it.” Diast said.
Thinking back to that class mainly just reminded me of the clothes incident, so as we descended the stairwell, I felt my face get warm and my tail was flicking around again.
“There should be six monsters on the first floor,” Diast said through our wristbands.
“That ‘should’ is doing a lot of carrying there.” Kalei said.
“Fine, there are six, I just checked. They should look fairly familiar.” Diast said.
The first stage of the battle exam took place in a room that looked oddly like Diast’s lab. But with no furniture and a wider floor, it looked like if her classroom was stretched out and turned into a combat arena. As Diast said, six void monsters got up from the counters surrounding us.
“I’m pretty proud of the presentation here, gonna be honest.” Diast said.
They all looked like the fake ones we dissected. All except one.
“Hey, what the heck!” I said, as the one approaching me looked like my inked up uniform, crawling towards me as though my entire outfit had gained sentience. “Dr. Diast, why do I have to fight my clothes?”
“It was supposed to be the little guys you dissected last week,” Diast said. “But this whole area is pretty imagination node-y, so your thoughts could have influenced their appearance.”
“So I got so freaking embarrassed I made a void monster?” I asked.
“To be clear, I didn’t program that one, so don’t include that in me saying I was proud of the presentation, I don’t wanna make fun of anyone.”
“But that’s the best part,” Kalei said.
“More like the, uh, the worst!” I said.
“The rest of us didn’t make a big scene and turn our void monsters into our past mishaps.” Kalei said. “Zates must really need the attention.”
“Shut up,” I said. “Whatever, I’ll fight it.”
We all ignited our bloodsabers. Our wristbands projected how many void monsters we needed to defeat to complete that part of the Benta scholarship. Oka and I were both around 93%. Iris and Maia were in the high 80’s. Lillia was at 98%. Kalei, curiously, was at 100%.
“How the heck are you at full void monsters already?” I asked.
Kalei shrugged. “I’m better at this than you, I guess?”
“That may be true, but just on a time level, how’d you find time to fight more than us?” I asked.
“Maybe because you talk the whole time you should be monster slaying.” Kalei said. She sighed longingly as she sliced at the monster that approached her. “I was really hoping we’d fight that pizza box monster one more time.”
“Why? I never want to see that thing again.” Oka said.
“For old time’s sake? Wouldn’t it be nostalgic?” Kalei asked.
“It wouldn’t for me.” I said.
Everyone else made quick work of their targets, using the tactics from our lab to easily incapacitate and goopify the monsters. I didn’t have such an easy time, as each time I tried to slash the wrecked outfit monster, it went flat. Poking it with my bloodsaber didn’t work either.
“C’mon Zeta, I’m even done before you on this,” Iris said.
“Don’t rush her, she’s doing her best!” Oka said.
“You need to make a precise cut.” Lillia said.
“What kind of precise cut can I make on this thing?” I asked. “What guts are cut-able here?”
“The tag, maybe?” Oka suggested.
“Oh!” I said, stomping on the monster imitating my outfit. I found the tag and cut it off with my bloodsaber. I leapt back just in time for it to join its brethren in the goop.
“You’re a lifesaver.” I said.
“Anytime!” Oka said. “When I get stuck, I hope you have the answer for me.”
“I’ll do my best!” I said.
“Enough flirting, can we move to the next one?” Kalei asked.
“That’s one floor down, and, er,” Iris counted on her hands. “Some more to go?”
“Iris is probably gonna need all our help when we get to math.” Kalei said.