Natasha the Halve

“I’m getting hungry,” Yolin groaned after an hour of waiting.

The ceiling of the dungeon had glowing stones similar to the stalactites found in higher dungeon floors, illuminating the space. I checked my new pocket watch: It was a quarter past three.

I felt my stomach growl at her words.

“We could roast the Uger meat,” Natasha offered.

“You don’t roast Uger meat,” I commented. “Can you take the refrigerator out, please?”

Natasha did a weird pose and out came the refrigerator.

“Do you have a table I could use?” I asked the two.

Natasha shook her head and I turned to Yolin, who nodded.

“I got you,” she said with a smile.

A low table materialized in front of her, which she picked up and placed next to me. Natasha put a big chunk of meat on it while licking her lips.

“Okay,” I nodded. “Natasha, could you bring the rocks from the campfire? Also, do you have a knife you could lend me?”

“On it,” she answered with a nod.

She offered me a long dagger. It had a wavy, silver blade with orange details on the center while the handle was pitch black. It was the same dagger she used to cut the cheese back at my place.

[+50 Sleepy Keris (Unique)]
(Sharpness SS+)(Durability S)

-STR+ 200
-DEX+ 150
-CON+ 100

After handing me another treasure, albeit less impressive than the staff, she walked off to the camp. The rest were still deep in meditation, sitting on the ground close to each other.

Fortunately, the ground was flat so the refrigerator was in no danger of falling down. Dungeons are just weird like that. Taking out a pot from my storage, I put a few ingredients in it from the appliance, then turned to the table.

Yolin quietly observed me chopping vegetables and cutting the fat off the meat.

“Oh, you’re making stew?” she asked.

I nodded.

“Fatty meat is best in stew,” I answered as I put the fat on the pot. “I don’t have that much experience with meat like this, but I’ll manage to make something edible at the very least.”

“Hoooh…” she was impressed. “I’m liking you more and more, Lapia. A woman that can cook is very attractive.”

I blushed at her words, and almost chopped my thumb off as I cut the meat. She closed in on me and we shared a kiss.

“I’m happy to hear that, thank you,” I said with a smile.

I turned as I heard Natasha singing, she was slowly walking towards us wearing a black dress.

“L’amour est un oiseau rebelle~” she sang, looking at us with a cheeky smile. “Que nul ne peut apprivoiser~”

Her voice made my ears pleasantly ring a little. The harmony was enviable to say the least. If that’s the name, I can’t sing even to save my life.

As she came closer, she put the stones in a circle on the ground.

“What?!” Yolin whispered in shock. “You can even sing?!”

I chuckled as I put more fat on the pot, locked it in position one meter above ground with Space Manipulation and lit a fire right below it with Pyro Manipulation.

“Et c’est bien en vain qu’on l’apelle~” she continued, and walked up to Yolin. “S’il lui convient de refuser~”

Natasha placed a golden leg around Yolin’s waist, then leaned on her and put her head on her neck. My eyes widened at the sight. Sometimes, Natasha can be pretty bold.

“Rien n’y fait, menace ou prière~” she sang into Yolin’s neck. “L’un parle bien, l’autre se tait~”

The receiving woman closed her eyes and made a pleased expression. Getting such an attack from up close like that would leave even the experienced tank melting like butter in summer.

“Et c’est l’autre que je préfère~ Il n’a rien dit, mais il me plait~”

Yolin tried hugging her but Natasha disentangled herself and spun a few times, distancing herself and making the dress flip up, revealing her legs in full.

“By the Gods,” Yolin whispered as she grabbed her chest. “This is bad for my heart.”

“Hahaha!” I covered my face.

Natasha stopped her antics and replaced the dress with a shirt and a skirt, then squatted down and stared at us with a smile.

“So, Natasha,” I began as I waited for the fat to melt. “Where did you learn Kator?”

Her eyes widened, then let out a long sigh.

“You can’t just drop that bomb out of nowhere, Lapia,” she groaned, then answered. “In school.”

“How many languages do you know, anyway?” Yolin asked, eyeing the pot with unshakable attention.

“Eight, not counting the two from Hell,” she answered. “Orkish, Earthen Tongue, Common, Low Tongue for some reason, Kator, and I don’t know how you call the others.”

“Well, speak. We might have heard them,” I offered as I stirred the fat with a wooden spoon. “Say ‘Hi, I’m Natasha. Nice to meet you’.”

“Ciao, sono Natasha. Piacere di conoscerti,” she said.

“That’s Twisted Verse,” I commented. “Bromisnar will be elated.”

“Cześć, jestem Natasha. Miło mi was poznać,” she said next.

“No clue,” I admitted. “Is that ‘chesh’, or what?”

“You write it as c-z-e-s-c. They have little accents on the s and c, and there’s a diagonal line on the l,” she explained.

“That’s the Centaur Language. I don’t recall the name right now, though,” Yolin added.

“It’s Tunir,” I supplied.

“So centaurs… at least something stays the same,” Natasha said with a smirk.

“What does?” Yolin asked.

“Big dicks,” she said, gesturing with both hands at something long.

We laughed and I heard the sizzling of the fat. I put seasoning and the meat in the pot, then prepared the vegetables in another pot.

“And why did you learn them?” I asked.

“Well… it’s embarrassing to say,” she mumbled while covering her face. “I have the habit of really wanting to learn the languages of my partners. You know… to eventually tell them I love them in their native language.”

“That’s cute,” Yolin chuckled.

She tried to put a finger in the pot, but I slapped it with the wooden spoon.

“What about the last one?” I asked as I glared at the cheeky Oni.

She smiled and took a step back.

Natasha put her hands down and I noticed her face glowing brighter. A blushing Halve is cute.

“Hallo, ich heisse Natasha. Sehr erfreut,” she said.

“Uh… dunno,” I shrugged.

“That’s the Merfolk’s, Severed Fin,” a lovely deep voice said from where the rest of the party sat.

“You done?” Natasha asked as she stood up. “How did it go?”

Alyssa walked over to us and hugged Natasha.

“Pretty good,” she yawned and eyed the pot. “Nice, what are we having?”

“Uger stew,” Yolin answered with a big smile.

“What classes did you two go for, anyway? Or is it rude to ask?” Natasha asked as Alyssa let go.

“Storm Ruler,” I answered. “It’s okay to ask, but if anyone refuses to answer, then that’s it.”

“I went for Soul Warden,” Alyssa said as she fixed her dress. “Now I can deal with curses and such.”

“Oohh!” Natasha exclaimed as she clapped. “You may help the King with that.”

“I doubt the King is suffering from a curse,” Alyssa said with a small smile. “The Royal Guard has powerful healers, so it might be a spell as the Prince said.”

The meat had a healthy brown color, so I took out another pot and put it there. Then, I put the vegetables that took longer to cook in the pot with the meat juices.

“Are curses not spells?” Natasha asked.

Alyssa giggled.

“They aren’t,” Yolin shook her head. “Curses belong to the Laws of Life.”

“Haaa…” Natasha sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “I see.”

I chuckled and continued cooking. I hoped she understood the difference between a spell and a pulse of life force. I could explain later, anyway.

“Do the three of you know how to behave in front of a King?” I asked just in case.

The three shook their heads, and I sighed.

“First of all, Natasha,” I looked her in the eye. “You bow before none. Is that clear?”

She nodded, a little surprised at my words.

“If word gets out that a Halve bowed to a King, people might think you favor their country. I don’t think I need to explain why that’s not good,” I explained, and she nodded again. “You address him and his wife with ‘Your Majesty’, and anyone else from the Royal Family with ‘Your Highness’. Naturally, they’ll address you with ‘Your Excellency’, please don’t cringe.”

She groaned.

“Didn’t you say people called us Halves ‘Your Highness’?” Natasha asked.

“That was when the first Kingdoms were founded,” Alyssa explained. “To signify you were as important as the ruler of a nation. Then it became confusing when Halves met Kings and Queens.”

“What about ‘Your Divinity’?” she asked again.

“That… was suggested by the Gods, actually,” I sighed. “To differentiate you from the rest of the species. You are mortal like us, however. And yet you live more than twice as long, and are many times stronger. So, it changed again to the current title.”

“Pretty complicated,” Natasha chuckled. “And do people pray to us as well?”

“Naturally,” the three of us said at the same time.

Natasha recoiled and winced.

“What would you do if there’s a species out there that can kill a Wild Dragon after breakfast and destroy an island before lunch?” I asked her. “Pray to them and ask for protection.”

“Ah,” she uttered. “Doesn’t make much sense to me, honestly.”

“Halves make no sense,” I chuckled.

“True that,” she said with a nod.

“So, like…” Yolin hesitated. “I don’t really like using titles. People have names for a reason.”

“Says the woman who called me ‘Halve’ when we first met,” Natasha teased her.

“Yeah, but that’s the name of your species,” Yolin pointed out.

“You lost, Natasha,” Alyssa giggled.

I looked at Yolin for a few seconds while Natasha grumbled something about puny mortals.

“You can always… not talk to them,” I said with a shrug. “It’s not mandatory to speak to them, really. And I doubt we’ll all be invited to his chambers if he’s bedridden.”

Yolin let out a relieved sigh.

“Next,” I said as I put the meat into the pot with the vegetables and stirred. “Here in Lumin Kingdom, they bow while crossing a leg and putting an arm on the chest.”

“Like Lady Dabrak did?” Natasha asked.

I nodded.

“Just like her,” I confirmed.

“How?” Yolin asked with a displeased expression.

“Like this?” Natasha bowed, crossing her left leg behind the right one, and placing her left arm on her chest.

“You remember pretty well,” Alyssa nodded.

“It’s branded on my memory,” she shivered. “The first time someone bowed to me while actually meaning it.”

“Ayo, that smells really good!” a high pitched male voice came from the camp.

Bonte stood up, and shifted behind Natasha.

“Oy!” she gaped. “That’s awesome!”

“Hehehe…” he nodded with a satisfied smile. “The perks of being a Dusk Blade.”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…”

The sound of the fire and the bubbling pot were the only sounds in the area.

“What?” he asked, genuinely confused with our silence.

“The name’s… a little edgy,” Natasha managed to say as she fought back laughter.

“I know, right?!” he raised a hand in victory. “Pretty sweet, isn’t it?”

I looked away, not wanting to kill his mood. Even ‘Storm Ruler’ was cringe. I returned my attention to the pot and let the flavors get to know each other with the help of water from a bottle. Then, I added polupi juice for color and extra flavor.

“How does the skill work?” Natasha asked.

“Glad you asked, Lady Natasha,” he snickered as he stood next to the table.

“Uh, just Natasha is fine,” she corrected him with a tight smile.

“Ah, I was joking,” he chuckled. “I read on your form you don’t like that.”

Natasha turned to Alyssa with a surprised face. The woman just smiled and winked.

“I shift through shadows, you see,” he explained. “As long as there’s a shadow, I can shift there.”

“Cool,” Yolin joined the conversation, disconnecting her sight from the pot. “Pretty useful during the night.”

The Tigea nodded.

“Haaa…” a loud sigh came from the last member in the camp.

Bromisnar stood up and stretched with a groan.

Natasha greeted the man in Twisted Verse as he walked to us.

“Quite the surprise, I admit,” he said with wide eyes.

“What did you go for?” Alyssa asked him.

“Maestro,” he answered while doing a flowery gesture and inclining his head.

I put the rest of the vegetables in the pot and covered it with a lid.

“Good class," I gave him a thumbs up. "Okay, the food will be finished in around thirty minutes,” I announced.

“Nice. We eat and then keep going,” Natasha declared without mercy.

We all sighed.