Maybe a Fake Gintama

One morning in Yoshiwara.

"Huh? No patrol today?"

Kawaki, in his pajamas, opened his door to see Tsukuyo holding a fruit basket in the hallway, and he asked in surprise.

"Ah, I heard Sarutobi was hospitalized, so I'm going to visit her," Tsukuyo casually replied.

"You... since when did you become friends with that natto woman?" Kawaki said with a look of disgust.

"No, it's just a normal visit," Tsukuyo replied casually, "It's sort of a thank-you for inviting the Hyakka to a ninja lecture she arranged before."

"I see; well, goodbye then," Kawaki said as he turned back inside.

However, before he could close the door, a kunai struck him right in the back of the head.

He fell forward from the impact, bleeding profusely from the back of his skull.

"The patrol for Yoshiwara has been arranged already. Come with me today," Tsukuyo turned away, coughing awkwardly and embarrassed.

"Are you some kind of middle schooler?" Kawaki, picking himself up and pulling the kunai out of his head, retorted flatly, "Why would you be embarrassed just to visit someone in the hospital? And isn't that person a woman? Why would a woman be embarrassed to visit another woman?"

"There's a new game release today that you wanted..." Tsukuyo muttered softly, "Today... well, on the way back, that thing..."

"Alright! Let's get going!" Kawaki, now fully dressed, stood at the door, ready to leave.

...

I was in the hospital in Edo later that morning.

"It's rare to see you guys together..." Kawaki entered the hospital room, surprised to see the Yorozuya trio and Zenzou gathered around the bed.

"It's even rarer for you, Little Uncle, to come to visit someone sick-aru," Kagura, sitting on a chair beside the bed, turned to look at Kawaki and commented mercilessly.

"No, I didn't plan to visit this natto-smelling woman." Kawaki shrugged and stepped aside to let Tsukuyo through to the bed, leaning against the wall, "I was just on my way to buy a game. The person who wanted to visit this natto woman is someone else."

"Tsukki!" Kagura exclaimed happily, seeing Tsukuyo with the fruit basket.

"Are you two on a date?" Shinpachi pushed up his glasses and teased with a smile.

"What are you talking about?" Kawaki scoffed, waving his hand dismissively, "My head isn't screwed up. How could I possibly date a woman who made me lose several liters of blood this morning?"

"Isn't shopping together just like a date?" Shinpachi smiled.

[Is this what Hinowa meant by a date?!] Tsukuyo thought, blushing.

"Stop it; I won't feel like buying the game anymore..." Kawaki raised his hand to stop them, then glanced casually at Sacchan lying unconscious on the bed, "But seriously, what's up with her? Isn't she supposed to be a capable ninja?"

"Yes... it's not a date! How could I possibly date this man!" Tsukuyo quickly interjected, awkwardly approached, and placed the fruit basket in Kagura's lap, stammering, "What... what exactly happened to Sarutobi?"

"Tsukki, are you alright-aru? Your face is so red, you don't have a fever, do you?" Kagura asked, puzzled.

"It's not red at all! I just walked here a bit fast!" Tsukuyo hurriedly retorted.

"Ah, I see..."

"But it's unlikely Sarutobi would be taken down so easily, right?" Tsukuyo cleared her throat and tried to appear calm as she spoke again, "Did she run into some troublesome enemy?"

"Yes, why did Miss Sarutobi turn out like this?" Shinpachi also asked, looking towards Zenzou for answers.

"Look at this..." Zenzo pulled out a pair of thick glasses with a cracked lens and sighed slightly. He reluctantly explained, "She insisted on wearing these inappropriate glasses, messed up her job, and got targeted."

Holding the glasses, Zenzou glanced at Sacchan, "When we found her barely alive, she was still clutching these glasses like a treasure. It's just so typical of a foolish woman."

Then, handing the glasses to Gintoki, he continued, "You take care of these. They'll realize this location soon enough, and she won't be able to do anything with these glasses here."

With that, Zenzou headed towards the TV, opened a pink glasses case revealing Sacchan's actual glasses, and commented, "But, that being said, if she still refuses to wear these, it means that this woman is nothing more than that."

After saying that, Zenzou turned and walked towards the door where Kawaki was standing.

"Hey, hemorrhoid ninja!" Kagura stood up quickly and called out to Zenzou, who was about to leave, "Are you going to leave Sacchan alone here like this-aru?"

"Sorry," Zenzou stopped and responded without turning around, "We ninjas don't share your samurai's strong sense of companionship. It's better for you if you stay away from her; she probably wants it that way."

With a wave, Zenzou left the hospital room without hesitation.

"Well, we should be going too," Kawaki said, turning to leave and casually bidding farewell, "Goodbye then, you guys."

"Little Uncle, you too..."

"Sorry, compared to the limited-time game coming up, this woman is worthless to me," Kawaki shrugged and replied casually, "Of course, I don't know about that naturally wavy hair over there, but as far as I'm concerned, that's how it feels. Let's go, Tsukki."

"So, you're concerned about that woman?" Walking down the street, Kawaki asked Tsukuyo beside him.

"No, at a time like this, the last person Sarutobi would want to care about her is me," Tsukuyo replied softly, "It should be the man who sent her those glasses. But what about you? Aren't you worried Kagura might be in danger?"

"Of course I'm worried," Kawaki replied matter-of-factly, smiling slightly, "But there's that naturally wavy hair, right? As long as he's there, it'll be fine. Besides... it wouldn't be appropriate for us to get involved when a woman is endangered because of him. Let's not dwell on it; the game release time is almost here! We need to hurry, or we'll miss it."

...

After over an hour in line that afternoon, Kawaki finally got the game he wanted.

Seeing Kawaki's satisfied expression while holding the game, Tsukuyo shook her head helplessly.

"Thank you so much for today!" Kawaki, a game in hand, was visibly overjoyed.

"No, it's... it's nothing..."

"But I didn't expect you to remember today was the release day for this game," Kawaki clutched his game tightly, deeply moved, "I almost forgot about it myself."

"Because you... you've been talking about it daily for the past month when eating..." Tsukuyo tried to sound casual.

"Anyway, thank you so much!" Kawaki said gratefully, paused as if remembering something, stopped walking, and said, "To show my appreciation, let me buy you something too. Is there anything you want?"

"Ah!" Tsukuyo suddenly froze, then fidgeted on the spot, "That... no, that, I... that..."

"What's wrong? Why are you acting so twitchy?" Kawaki looked at Tsukuyo expressionlessly, "You wouldn't be... needing the restroom, would you?"

"No... not at all!" Tsukuyo denied loudly, blushing, "That... can... can..."

"Huh? Can what?" Kawaki squinted, puzzled.

"The gift... the gift... gift... gift..." Tsukuyo's eyes started to resemble mosquito coils.

"Then, let's go. There's a store that's perfect for you," Kawaki said, turning and leading the way.