MADMAN APOCALYPSE

“Why does he get to be a Detective, but I’m just a Deputy?” I asked, offended.

“You’re better at dealing with the police brutality part of the job,” Panda explained. “Just leave the crime solving to us!”

Bee nodded, then said, “First, let’s interrogate the witnesses!”

“They just told us what happened,” I said, pointing to the two guards with the large banana in my hand.

The one to the left of the hole into the Healer’s shop stepped forward and slapped my Soul Blade aside with his large claw. “Stop pointing that at me.”

A shudder went through my entire system and I quickly clutched the banana to my chest protectively. “Don’t touch it!”

“Gambit, get rid of the banana and put some clothes on,” Panda told me.

I unsummoned the Soul Blade and then looked down at myself.

“Ah, right, forgot I just came out of the tub like this.”

With a few mental swipes, I had my Carapace Suit and Swan-feather Cloak equipped.

“You still haven’t evolved,” I told Bee. “If we’re hunting down a murderer that can kill a level 15 player in one strike, don’t you think you should do that first?”

“Good thinking, Deputy!” she announced, then she turned to the crustacean guards. “Do you think the Healer would mind if I did it in her shop?”

“Go on in,” said the one on the right of the door.

“Thank you.” She walked between them and into the shop and I made to follow, but a clawed hand went up in front of the doorway and stopped me.

“You’ve already used the Healer’s services for free. You’ll have to pay if you want to enter a second time.”

“I’m just accompanying my friend,” I argued. “None of us even need healing!”

“Them’s the rules, buddy.”

“Listen here, I’m not your buddy, pal!”

“Gambit, it’s fine!” Bee yelled from inside. “Just wait out there, I’m pretty sure I can share the options with you and you can just yell your recommendations.”

Panda, realizing that sticking with me was apparently a losing bet, hopped off my shoulder and waddled through the doorway, the guards being none the wiser.

I huffed loudly before sitting down in front of the doorway like a petulant child.

A moment later, the Class Milestone screen hit me:

Congratulations! You have reached a Class milestone! x

Pick an option!

You have reached the first Class milestone by reaching Level 10.

You now have the choice between switching to a higher-quality Class or evolving your current one. An Evolved Class will follow the theme of your current Class, while a Class Change will be something new.

Warning: changing Class will change your current Class abilities.

Change Class

Evolve Class

“I’m picking evolution!” Bee yelled immediately after. A moment after the next screen followed, and I quickly read through the options.

You have chosen ‘Evolve Class’

Select an Evolution from the options

Ant Alchemist

Gather ingredients from your surroundings and brew potions to overcome all challenges

Moth Magician

Learn to decipher the ancient code of the System in order to cast devastating spells

Termite Thaumaturge

Become a worker of miracles and the heart of any team through your support magic

Main Attribute:

Perception & Dexterity

Main Attribute:

Intelligence

Main Attribute:

Wisdom

Core Ability:

‘Ant Acid’

Core Ability:

‘Moth Missile’

Core Ability:

‘Termite Tribute’

Core Passive:

‘Ant Alchemy’

Core Passive:

‘Moth Mania’

Core Passive:

‘Termite Teamwork’

“You should definitely pick Moth Magician!” I yelled through the doorway from where I sat.

“You didn’t even look at the other options!” Panda replied.

“I didn’t need to, they’re lame!”

“Gambit is right,” Bee shouted, “I don’t want to be an alchemist or a support player! Also, look!”

Two descriptions followed in quick succession:

‘Moth Missile’ x

Ability

Moth Missile! Moth Missile!! Moth Missile!!!

Shoot orbs of moth scales that loosely track the target you are aiming for. The number of orbs is equal to your Intelligence divided by 3, and the damage of each orb is equal to your current Mana.

Mana Cost: 10% of current Mana

‘Moth Mania’ x

Passive

All moths are kind of not-all-there and a bit twisted. It’s believed to be a widespread congenital trait, given that all of them are like that. Many believe it’s caused by their close association with the System, which itself is all sorts of messed up.

You see patterns in the world that can be deciphered to form verses of spells. Collecting five verses unlocks a new Skill based on the nature of the verses.

Additionally, all Mana is increased by 25%.

“Yeah, screw the other options!” I yelled.

“The Ant Alchemist has a lot of utility and might be really u—” Panda protested, before suddenly getting cut off by a shockwave that moved out through the walls of the Healer’s shop. The invisible wave passed through me and made my bones vibrate, then retracted back into its source, which had to be Bee, only to be followed by a thrum, which rolled through the air.

A moment of silence followed, before she sprang out through the doorway of the shop, her entire appearance altered.

Gone was her armored beetle carapace, and in its place was a furry grey-and-white coat that covered her entire body, except for her face and hands, where the skin was a darker shade of grey. Her eyes had become black with white rings and a dot in the center. Her antennae had changed as well, becoming longer and fuzzier, and her black hair was now white. From her shoulders and back were also four large white wings with dark-grey rings on them that hung down to the ground, making it appear as if she was wearing a strange cloak over her fur-covered body. It also seemed like she’d grown an inch or two in height.

“I feel like I’m looking at a completely different person,” I mumbled. Granted, there was still a familiar spark in her eyes, even if her eyes were utterly different.

“I feel a lot lighter now,” Bee said, doing a spinning twirl in the air.

“Also, look!” She shared her Status window with me.

Level 11

‘Bee’

Moth Magician x

---Red like Nostradamus's cherry jelly (recipe)---

STATS

Health: 6

Stamina: 9

Armor: 8

Carry Weight: 60

Top Speed: 13,5 km/h

Mana: 30

ATTRIBUTES

Strength: 3

Dexterity: 4

Intelligence: 12

Vitality: 3

Athleticism: 3

Perception: 3

Wisdom: 10

Defense: 4

ABILITIES

CORE

PASSIVES

‘Beetle Breeze’

‘Beetle Bolt’

‘Beetle Barrier’

‘Beetle Blastoff’

‘Beetle Bomb’

‘Furniture Fortification’

‘Moth Missile’

‘Moth Mania’

‘Wayward Minor’

‘Inanimate Voices’

‘Insanity’

‘Outcast’

‘Beetle Brawn’

‘Beetle Battlemage’

Panda came waddling out of the shop behind her. “The Moth Missile should be pretty powerful. At full Mana, it’ll hit 4 times for a total of 120 damage.”

“I still don’t know if I understand how damage works,” I said. “Does her Health match the damage?”

“I don’t think so. Although, 6 in Health is definitely very low.”

“Maybe it’s missing a 0?” Bee guessed.

“It could be,” I said. “Although, that’d mean just two of your own Missiles could instantly kill you…”

“That does make sense though,” Panda replied. “I imagine they removed a 0 off the Health Stat so it would match the rest of the numbers.”

I nodded. “Otherwise my Bad Catchphrase damage could kill me really fast, right?”

There was a pause.

“Wait!” both Panda and I exclaimed simultaneously.

“There must be a command for it!” I then said.

“Maybe something like ‘What’s my current health points’?” Bee guessed.

She made a surprised sound. “It worked, look!”

Bee’s Condition

Health: 60 / 60 (FULL)

Mana: 30 / 30 (FULL)

“Current health points,” I said, and my own pop-up appeared in the bottom right of my vision.

Gambit’s Condition

Health: Isn’t it Great / Isn’t it Great (FULL?)

Mana: !ɘM ʜɔɈɒяɔƧ

I shared it with her.

“Why is your Mana asking you to scratch it?”

“He’s too afraid to try and figure it out,” Panda remarked.

“Alright,” I said, ignoring them both. “We’re ready now, so let’s go find the killer.”

“Should we hold some kind of funeral for Samantha later?” Bee asked.

“I guess.”

“Could at least move the body,” Panda suggested.

“Detective! That’s an active crime scene!” Bee then exclaimed, getting back into character.

Given her new appearance, she actually had a bit of a Film Noir vibe going on.

One of the guards walked past us and over to the body, before carrying it into the Healer’s shop.

“Boss told us she’ll take care of the corpse… Detectives.”

Bee grinned, her black eyes full of glee at her silly play-pretend being acknowledged by the guard, although the white circles and dot in the center of her eyes made her look positively-unhinged. That was all to say: my favorite kind of companion.