Life of Change

A high-pitched sound reverberated in my mind. That annoying high-pitched whistling sound you always hear in movies after an explosion. It was the only sensation I had if you could call the irritating sound in my mind that way. I couldn't see, smell, or hear anything else besides that buzzing sound; I couldn't even feel my body, if I have one. Even if I wanted to move I couldn't. It was as if I was floating in a gigantic pool without the ability to swim. Just sinking endlessly.

"How long have I been here?" it felt like months, even years had passed in this place. "I... how did I get here? I remember... remember... Blood? A... a knife and... there was someone else sitting on me... I can't remember the face... Who is it? Was that my blood? Why? I..."

Unexpectedly I began to feel something. Warmth. I was enveloped by a bright, blinding light that was both warm and cold. It was extremely strange and contradictory, but it was gentle to the eye. "Wait... I can see again?" I felt confused. I was sure I didn't have a body, let alone eyes. But somehow, I could see and feel. I tried to move my body, but it was as if I was a small cloud of white smoke. I could look at my own body and see the light at the same time as if I was able to see everything in a 360° radius. It was confusing and... frightening.

The light got brighter, but somehow, I managed to see through it. I could see a figure. A very large woman. She was gigantic. I didn't know how big; I couldn't be sure since I didn't even know how big or small, I was myself.

The figure had long violet hair that moved in waves, falling softly down her shoulders, which, like the rest of her body, were golden and shiny as if she was completely made of gold. Her piercing eyes changed their colors constantly in a strange dancing rainbow pattern. She wore a white Greek robe that gave her a look of ancient divinity, with 4 white gold hoops inlaid with different colored gems on her wrists and ankles. Her face was frozen in a Mona Lisa smile, warm like a mother, but almost robotic.

A deep, melodious voice echoed throughout the place, echo upon echo. I could hear it in the atmosphere and my mind at the same time.

"Welcome to my domain young mortal. My name is Sathalia." Her powerful voice sounded calm and motherly, almost as if she wanted to assuage any fear my heart might harbor.

"Sathalia? What are you, why am I here?"

"I am what you might call a Goddess."

"A... Goddess?"

"Yes. You have died and your soul was sent to my domain."

"I... Am I dead?" I said, still in disbelief. Suddenly, I was assaulted by an enormous pain, something I never imagined I was capable of experiencing without having a physical body. All my memories came back to me in a torrent of images that completely flooded my mind, only to end with me back in front of the divinity of enormous size and imperturbable smile. I was trapped in a flashback of my life, similar to how you see it in movies or anime.

"So... That’s how I died" I was in shock. Not by how, but by the identity of my killer. Despite that, there was only one thing I wanted to know at that instant.

"M-my sister... What happened to her?"

"Hmm..."

Sathalia's eyes, once a shifting rainbow, lost all their color, becoming pure white. I didn't know what I was doing, but I began to feel anxious. I unconsciously moved closer to her, feeling the need to grab hold of her robe in desperation. But before I even got to touch her; though I had no idea how I would do that being that I was an entity made of some kind of gas, she started talking again.

"Nadia. For a couple of hours, she was waiting for you to get to her. She called you many times, but when she got no answer, she became anxious. She paid for a cab home and found the police at the door. She was devastated to receive the news that you had died. She was even more devastated to learn who your killer was. She is very depressed. She wonders if all this must have been her fault."

"Why?"

"The girl thinks... no, she's sure that if she had died that day, your mother would never have ended up that way, and, therefore, would never have ended your life."

"What? But... no, no, that's not... That bitch was crazy. There is no way things would have been better if she had died!"

"She knows that, but, now that she lost you, she can't help but blame herself.

"But..."

"You have died. There's nothing more you can do, but wish she could get over it and move on with her life."

I knew that perfectly well, but it was so sudden... I didn't even have a chance to see her one last time and... say goodbye. It's so hard to bear that feeling of regret.

The goddess kept her gaze on me. Patiently waited to clear the storm in my mind.

"You're... you're right. It's just..."

It's hard to accept that I can't do anything anymore. Even if they tell me all that, I can't just accept it all and hope for the best. I know it's no use anymore, but I can't help but feel devastated.

The goddess gave me an extremely warm and empathetic look. Her eyes were full of understanding and compassion. It was like the look a mother would have for her children... A real one. I could feel that she WAS a goddess. She radiated power and wisdom, and that made me feel fascinated by her.

"Young mortal... no. Allan, your life was difficult and unsatisfying, I can see in you that you long for something better. That's why I want to propose a deal to you."

"A deal?"

"As a goddess, there are many things I can do, but there are also some things I cannot. One of the things I can, and do offer you, is to give you the chance to be reborn into a new world. A new life, with a new family and endless, better possibilities."

"You mean... Like an isekai?"

The goddess blessed me with a soft, sweet laugh in response. She knew the concept. Something that made sense given that she is a goddess.

"As an isekai, yes."

I certainly could no longer do anything for my old life. I was already dead. The only thing that worried me was still my sister, but I had no choice but to accept that she would be fine. I know her, she's strong, she'll get through this, I'm sure. I may be the one who will have the hardest time getting through it.

"So... Will I have a new life in another world? Will I forget everything about my previous life, or...?" I asked worriedly. As much as it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, I didn't want to leave behind the memories of the one person who brought happiness to my existence.

"Normally that would be the case, but this time things are different."

"Why?"

"For you to understand, I have to tell you how things work on this plane where we gods dwell."

"Wait, gods? Aren't you the only one?" Sathalia shook her head, then descended near me, and began to explain.

"There are 2 types of Gods. The Superior ones like me and the Higher Ones. You must first understand that, your universe is not the only one that exists."

"A multiverse?"

"Hmm, something similar. You see, you can view the various universes as bubbles in an infinitely vast multidimensional plane. Each bubble is like a living thing, though different from what you might consider "life". They lack an ego and are not self-aware. You could compare them to artificial intelligence.

When a new universe is formed, it is born with a being that protects and manages it, just as a person maintains a computer.

Now, that god, the Superior, is in charge of protecting that universe, keeping it stable on the plane, and helping it so that life can be created. If that Superior disappears or dies, that universe is destined for ruin, unless another Superior manages to sustain it long enough for this universe to re-birth its God again.

The Higher Ones are what you would call moderators. Beings whom the Superior ones create and entrust with the administration of a specific world. Their responsibilities range from such things as evolving intelligent races, advancing a civilization, protecting the world from external dangers, or such simple things as blessing crops and improving fertility."

"..." I was speechless. All that information was incredible and... I didn't know what to do with it. And nothing prepared me for her next words.

"And the reason I brought you here. You see, the Superior of your universe, died a long time ago."

"WHAT!?" I cried out in surprise. My universe had been without a god? Then how is it that we still exist? But that begged another question, who is Sathalia? She introduced herself as the goddess of my universe, but, if this one had died then who was she?

"That Superior died about 3000 years ago. Since then, I, who am in charge of the universe closest to this one, have been maintaining it while the Superior is reborn and can resume its duty. Unfortunately, my power is barely enough to sustain both. The more life there is, the more energy is required to maintain it. And this being a rather old universe full of life, requires a much greater amount of energy to sustain it. The energy that I am barely able to bestow upon it."

"But then, why...?"

"This is the reason why I need your help."

Sathalia waved her hand and a sort of screen made of smoke appeared in front of me. It showed the image of a planet seen from a certain distance in space. If I had to say, it's a little bigger than Earth. Maybe I'm wrong. It's really hard to determine the size of a planet just by looking at it from a screen.

"This is one of the most prosperous worlds in my universe and it is also where the trouble has been concentrated."

At that instant, not far from the planet, a huge rift, perhaps 3 or 4 times the size of that world, formed in space. Violet rays, clouds of dark gas, and distortions, like ripples in water, ran the length of the crack. It was incredibly terrifying. It was like witnessing the destruction of a universe. And just as easily as that crack formed, it closed. It left me with an ominous feeling.

"That's the situation. Most of the energy I am using is to keep your universe stable. My own, being much younger, requires a smaller amount, but it is still more than I can provide you with. Because of that, it's slowly tearing itself apart due to lack of energy. I am not able to sustain them both for very long. In terms you can understand, I can last at much 200 or 300 years. Beyond that, I'll have to choose which one I should let die to save the other."

That... sounded horrifying. 300 years sounds like a long time, but in her eyes, it could be as little as a few minutes.

"What do you plan to do? And, how do I come into all this?"

"There are two solutions. The first is... to merge them both. By doing so, I will have to use a massive amount of energy, but everything will stabilize in a few decades. By becoming a single universe, the energy consumption, even if it was the same, would be more efficient and, therefore, the problem would be solved in the long run. The problem is that it would be a complete physical meltdown."

"You don't mean that..." I said with some fear in my voice. A meltdown could only mean a disaster of apocalyptic proportions.

"Yes. There will be chaos in this new universe. By adding more matter where it didn't exist before, it will generate disasters all over the place. Which could not only destroy and create new celestial bodies but also... destroy at least 70% of the current life in both universes."

"That...may not be the best option."

"Hmm, it certainly isn't". Sathalia replied quietly in agreement. She closed her eyes as if waiting for my next question.

"And... The other option?"

"The other option is to anchor myself to my original universe."

"Anchor yourself? And what does that imply?"

"That I would be attached to my universe."

"That doesn't sound so bad. I even thought you were already part of your universe."

"I think you misunderstood something. I am certainly linked to my universe, but we are two completely different entities. Even if our 'lives' are linked to each other, we are not one being. Anchoring me directly to my universe means that, to some extent, we would be becoming one being, which would cause me to use my existence to make up for the missing energy."

"Meaning... You would be using your own life in exchange?"

"Correct. Doing so implies several things, but most importantly, I would be preventing my universe from collapsing. As you know, even we gods are not exempt from the concept of death, even if it is somewhat different from how mortals understand it. But, between sacrificing untold numbers of lives, and using part of my existence, I'd rather use myself."

"..." Sathalia looked out into the infinite emptiness in front of us. Her gaze was as if she was seeing something far away, something she loved with all her being.

"Maybe it's just a whim of mine, a sense of duty as a Superior or maybe it's something else. I have watched life grow in my universe. I have nurtured and maintained it for not so long, but I don't want a single one of them to disappear because of something like this."

Sathalia... she's a goddess I can respect. I was never religious, and even less so now that I know the god of my world wasn't the real one, or if it was, it's been dead for a long time. But this goddess, what she is willing to do, is worthy of respect and worship. If... what she tells is the truth.

"...What do I have to do?" strange that I have to ask this again… It's as if she somehow avoided the question, and I don't understand why.

"I will make you reborn in the epicenter world, and I will give you a part of my being. But, don't think that this will turn you into a kind of semi-God. This is just so you can create the anchors that will serve as a connection between my body and the physical world. I need you to place 9 in different parts of its surface, so I can stabilize this universe and buy enough time for the new god to be born and stabilize the other."

"How long would we be buying that way?"

"Another 10000 years if I used my existence. But I only need another 1000 years. That amount of time is more than enough for the new Superior to be reborn."

A 1/10 of her existence? That´s a lot. A full compromise to save the entire life of her universe.

I think that's all it takes to convince me. If I accepted now, I would have a new life. A whole new beginning in a world completely unknown to me. It sounded terrifying and exciting at the same time. And yet... it was too good to be true.

There was a good chance that all of this was nothing more than pure garbage; a big lie... but what would she gain by lying to me? And if what she said is true, then I have no reason to refuse. But how would I know if it was a lie or not? And above all, why did she avoid answering at the beginning?

In the end, it's a bet. I have to choose whether to believe her or not.

Whatever I do, there would be risks. They say high risks bring high rewards and anyway, I was already dead and, even if she wasn't a goddess, I already knew she was incredibly powerful. No matter what I said, I was completely at her mercy. At least I could say that she was giving me the space to think.

I spent a lot of time considering my options. Sathalia waited patiently as she looked at me with those incredibly colorful eyes. I wasn't sure if I would make the right decision, but at least there was something I had to make sure of.

"Why me?"

"Because you are the only one who decided to listen to me to the end. All those who came before you, each one of them decided to stop listening to me when I told them that their god, the one that they believed was the one and only, was dead. They immediately called me a demon. And the few who didn't, say their lives had been hard enough and they wouldn't sacrifice themselves for an unknown world.”

“Well... that's humanity for you.”

“I know the doubt in your mind, I can feel it. But I want you to understand that you are the first one who has been interested in what I have to say. Even I, being a Superior, can feel anxious. Just as I feel scared about what could happen to all those who depend on me to be able to reach a solution.”

"If I decide to help you... what will happen to me... will I be hero-worshipped or something?"

"No. You will not be called a hero. You will not be recognized as a savior or even a chosen one. You will be just another anonymous who will have done something for the lives of everyone without them being aware of it. All I need from you is that you set anchors. Beyond that, you are free, your life is yours to live as you wish. Whether you want to tell everyone about your mission, just a few or no one, it's your choice."

"I see."

Once again, I considered my options and tried to analyze as much as I could Sathalia's attitude so far, whether she would be lying to me or being truthful. It took quite a while in my mind, but I came to a decision.

"I don't know if I can make it, but, if I can be given a new life, a better one, then I think the deal is fair enough."

I immediately bowed to her. Or at least my version of that, with this body made of gas or whatever, it was impossible to tell. Sathalia flashed me a smile beyond divine. One that would kill just to be looked at...even though I was already dead Yohohohoho.

"Thank you. I am truly grateful."

Sathalia shrank to human size and came up to me, giving me a strange hug. Even though I was just a thing made of gas. But for some reason, I could feel her hugging me. It felt incredibly good. Very warm and nice.

"H-how is this world where I'm going to live now?" I tried to change the subject, as I felt kind of embarrassed to have a goddess hugging me like that.

"Oh, it's like an "isekai" Sathalia started laughing sweetly with her little joke. A wonderful sound, worthy of a goddess. "In this world, there is magic, monsters, and various races of intelligent beings, except for humans."

"Wait, there are no Humans?" Sathalia let out another small laugh at my surprise, then began to explain.

"Strange as it may seem to you, they did not manage to evolve in this world. The races that inhabit it, in Silia, are Elves and Dwarves, also Teriants, or as you know them, beast folk. They comprise a lot of different tribes, from werewolves, rabbit men, bird men, and various aquatic tribes. And finally, the Asherians. Like the beast folk, they comprise a lot of different tribes. They are what you would call magical races or demons. They range from the Succubus tribe, Gargoyles, High demons or Friasan, Giants, and the Naftalen, among others.

"Incredible. And, the Higher Ones, what are they like?"

"There are 23 in total. Each of them is in charge of various tasks, from being gods of harvest, fertility, nature, life, death, the elements, wisdom, and magic, among many other things. Their personalities are quite diverse. If you ever get to speak directly with any of them, I'm sure you'll get along well."

With just this little information Sathalia was giving me, I could see that this new world had some extremely incredible things waiting for me. Dozens of different races, each with their own culture and worldview. Real gods who do interact with mortals. A new planet waiting to be explored. And, above all, magic. Who hasn't dreamed of being able to use magic? Throwing fireballs, ice spears, and lightning bolts from your fingers. Even flying in the sky. I felt that, even if Sathalia was lying to me, just the possibilities I had in this new world made it all worthwhile. Which made me think of something else, a classic isekai.

"Will I have some kind of powerful ability?"

"No. As I told you before, even if I am giving you a part of myself, that is only so I can create the anchors. The only thing I can assure you is that you will be a little stronger and have a higher amount of magic than the average of the race you are reborn into."

"Wait, I don't get to choose the race I'm going to be reborn into?"

"No." She replied in a sad tone. I could tell she was expecting that question but didn't want to have to answer it. "I can choose a specific region, but trying to choose a race, a family, or even the gender you're going to be born into requires me to interfere too much in the world by consuming energy that I cannot waste."

Waste. That could be the truth. It is a waste to choose just for a little bit of selfishness of mine.

"Then I can't know if I will be reborn as a demon, an elf, or a dwarf, or even if in my new life I will become a man again."

"As Superior, I must protect the universe and life so that they can exist in total and complete freedom. Even if that means they destroy themselves or thrive so much as to populate the entire universe. The only exception is when outside interference or my actions cause negative consequences to life or the universe itself, and, even then, it is a very high risk to do so."

"Wait, doesn't that mean you don't need me to accomplish this mission?"

"In other circumstances, I certainly wouldn't need someone to be able to do it. But unfortunately, this is not one of those cases. While I could create the anchors directly myself, the amount of energy required to do so would reduce so much of my own essence that I could end up collapsing both universes, which would make my actions counterproductive."

That means it's necessary for someone to go in and place the anchors to prevent accelerating rips in the universe, or worse, both universes from being destroyed in the process. That definitely doesn't sound scary, and too heavy of a responsibility for anyone. I think I understand why no one would want to take on such a mission.

It sucks not being able to choose some things, but I guess it was good enough to have the opportunity to be reborn. I just had to hope for some luck.

Now I ask myself... if Sathalia had not taken me for this mission, what would have happened to me, to my soul? Was there a heaven or a hell where I would spend the rest of eternity, or would I simply cease to exist? I could ask her... but for some reason, I feel I would not like the answer...

"Is there anything else you want to know?"

"One last thing. Once I am reborn, how will I know where to go or what to do?"

"There are 2 ways. The most direct is through dreams. I can use the fragment I will give you to create a channel between you and this plane where we can communicate just like now. The second is more indirect. I will give messages to the Higher Ones to send visions to the oracles and they will guide you where you should go. Normally I would use the more direct method, but that would be only in the early stages, when the fragment of my essence has more power. As you place the anchors, our connection will become weaker, making it more difficult to communicate in this way."

"I see. Then I should prioritize to find an oracle and keep them close by so they can guide me through the final stages."

"That would be ideal, yes. Now, if there are no more questions it is time to begin your new life. I must give you this first though."

At that instant, the goddess placed her hand on me, and a wave of energy began to enter my soul. Waves of strange energy passed through my being, slowly becoming painful, to the point where I was barely able to bear it. I looked at Sathalia and even she had a slight expression of pain. After a while and a great effort bearing it, the goddess withdrew her hand with a sigh of relief.

"It is done. You are now able to fulfill this mission. Allan, once again, thank you for accepting my request."

"There's no need to thank me. I'd feel very strange turning you down after hearing the whole story."

"Still, thank you." The goddess made a somewhat sad but relieved expression. "You can't even imagine how grateful I really am."

For a second, I wished I had a physical body so I could hug her, but as soon as I remembered she was a goddess, I felt it would be incredibly disrespectful for me to treat her that way, even though she was the first one to hug me before. It was a strange feeling

Suddenly a circle of light formed in front of me. Instinctively I knew that was what would lead me to my new life. "This was happening, wasn't it? Once I enter that circle, I'm not going to disappear forever, am I?" I felt anxious for the first time since I arrived. It was strange, and it made me notice something. "I… shouldn't I have been a lot more nervous, scared, or even angry about how this whole thing had unfolded? From the instant I died... shouldn't I feel much more frustrated or helpless about how unfair my death was?”

"One last warning before you leave for your new life." Almost as if Sathalia knew what I was thinking, she began to explain." This plane we are on can suppress strong negative emotions, such as fear or anger, but as long as you are here. What I mean is, that as soon as you return to a physical body, you will be flooded with all the emotions at the time of your death. You must be prepared the moment you open your eyes."

Well.... That definitely didn't sound good at all. Once I'm in my new body, my mind is going to be in chaos. However, at this point, I couldn't do anything about it either. No matter how long I think about it or want to delay it, it will happen. I just ended up giving Sathalia a short, soft "Go it" before saying goodbye to her and jumping straight into the circle of light.

"He's gone."

Sathalia watched as Allan's soul unhesitatingly entered the reincarnation magic. As a goddess, it was truly an embarrassment to herself to have to ask for help from one of these innocent children, who had no reason to believe her or even listen to her. She could not be more grateful to him, who even though in her mind questioned her words, still decided to lend her hand. Sathalia silently vowed that she would make sure that Allan could at least be reborn in a place where she would be loved and could find the happiness her heart was so longing for.

"I wish you all the best in your new life, my little one."

A sweet, amused chuckle echoed across the plane before Sathalia disappeared from there.